Take Me to Church
by Rasengan22
Summary: Three years after the death of his boyfriend, Sasuke returns home to the unchanged town full of whispers and judgments. However, he finds that Naruto, the son of the new pastor at his local church, is different from the rest.
1. Chapter 1

Throughout the wake, Sasuke stood at the back of the viewing room, watching the line of presumed mourners shake hands with the dead boy's estranged family. The rural town where he lived was small in both size and population. Inherently, he understood that at least half of the visitors in attendance had come either out of morbid curiosity or a desire to gossip. Surely everyone in town had read the newspaper reports and obituary about the homosexual 17-year-old bashed in the head by his own father. Glancing at the closed casket, he started to fiddle with a silver chain given to him as a birthday gift some time ago. It was cheap, he knew, and he'd not been especially keen on the idea of a necklace as a gift, but now it seemed one of the most meaningful possessions that he had in this world.

Sasuke closed his eyes, relying on all of his senses and memories to recall the touch, the smell, the taste of his boyfriend's skin. He tried not to think about the odd things Gaara said to him on the phone that last night, the way he hadn't seemed himself, or the uncharacteristic anxiousness. Gaara had never gotten along with his father, who, as far back as Sasuke could remember, had been abusive and an alcoholic. It only became worse after Gaara's father snooped through his room and found certain drawings in a notebook. The next day, his boyfriend had walked into class sporting more than a few bruises, and no matter how much Sasuke tried to convince him, he always refused to report his father to the police.

Only now did he allow himself to consider that Gaara's silence was his way of protecting him from getting involved.

For the two of them, finding ways to meet and be alone together was extremely difficult after that. It's not as if it was the kind of town that would've made it easier on either of them if they came out, and certainly doing it while they were in high school could've proved dangerous for the both of them. At first, Sasuke hadn't given it much thought. What he and Gaara did together - how their relationship evolved from friendship into something more - wasn't anyone else's business. He'd been stupid and naive to think that way, though. That society had moved past all of the narrow-mindedness, homophobia, and bigotry. From the moment he'd read about the gruesome details of Gaara's death, a numbness had settled over him. Gaara's father was put in jail, and, afterward, rumors spread quickly that it was because he'd discovered that his son was gay.

It's not as if Sasuke was immune to what people were saying about Gaara's "lifestyle choice", including his own parents, but a part of him was fearful of showing any kind of reaction. Because of the situation, he had no one to talk to about it, nowhere to go... leaving him incapable of grieving, of defending the very person whom he loved and had grown so close to over the past few years. There was no one who knew about the two of them. Not friends, not family. Gaara had been his only friend, which very well may be why he was alive today - standing uselessly at the back like a shadow, one of only few from his class that had attended the funeral. People he knew from his church passed by, shooting him odd looks that, in his paranoia, he registered as suspicion.

Without so much as a last glance at the casket, Sasuke decided to leave.

* * *

A week after Gaara's funeral, Sasuke sat in the pew of the church his family attended every Sunday. Each day since then had seemed to blur together. He didn't eat much and he hadn't really spoken to anyone, but no one even noticed. Of course, none of them had any reason to expect that he, of all people, would've been involved sexually with another boy. Coming from a respectable family - his father was a well-known police officer - no one would've thought that he was the murdered teenager's unknown lover.

For some reason, he started to laugh, but was nudged reproachfully in the side by his father's elbow.

The pastor - a man in his 70's who looked as though the slightest gust of wind could break all the bones in his body - began to talk about the recent loss of the young boy from their tightly-knit community who'd died at the hand of his own father. What should've been a moment of remembrance or sympathy turned into a sermon of intolerance as the pastor, speaking through quivering lips and fists that shook as they rained down on the pulpit, warned his flock that those who strayed from the path of the righteous were doomed to reap the consequence. That while the father had sinned, the son's sin was greater.

The pastor's voice boomed throughout the church, his stern condemnation bouncing off the walls as the large crucifix loomed behind him: " _If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them_."

He struggled desperately to retain a calm exterior so as not to draw attention. His hands began sweating where they lay in his lap. He could only think about Gaara, who had always been someone of exceptional understanding, intellect, and a certain calmness that had made Sasuke feel as if he did have a place he belonged when he'd never, up until then, felt as if he fit in anywhere.

Sasuke had known he was different from a very young age, and maybe what they had wouldn't have lasted forever, but certainly Gaara would always be someone he loved and remembered, someone who had been misunderstood as much as him, someone with great potential whose existence should not have been extinguished so easily or so violently. He began to feel very ashamed of himself, but not because of the pastor's words...

He felt like he should've died on that cold floor alongside his boyfriend.

The guilt and self-loathing bubbled rapidly to the surface, and, almost driven to a convulsion, Sasuke bent over and vomited. Embarrassed, he made an effort to get to his feet, and in his attempt to run to the bathroom, tripped on the prayer bench. Falling to his hands and knees in the center of the aisle, he started throwing up again until, at last, a woman with a wide-brimmed hat came to see if he needed help. Despite her kindness, Sasuke shook the older woman off, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater.

He lifted his head, looking first at the pastor and then at the crucifix behind, which, to him, only gazed down at the scene and at Sasuke with cold, indifferent eyes.

* * *

 _Three years later_

Having come home from college for the holidays, Sasuke was just leaving one of the local bookstores and, once on the sidewalk, found himself admiring the quaint Christmas decorations in the storefront windows. He hadn't been back to town in more than a year, but a tearful phone call from his mother guilted him into returning.

It was only for a week, but being here forced him to recall those bitter feelings from three years ago. Many times he considered cutting ties with his family. He didn't have any friends either. Although he treated both parents as respectfully as he could, he felt nothing but indifference toward them. They did not know him. They hadn't then, and they didn't now. There was no part of his personal life that they could ever truly understand, so he let them live on in ignorance.

It's not as if he'd meant to set out in the direction of the church, but, after hearing whispered conversations at one of the coffee shops, Sasuke learned that the old pastor had passed away about a month ago. He couldn't claim to be sorry for it, and, while he'd never hated going to church as a child, he hadn't stepped foot in one in more than two years. Maybe seeing it one more time would provide some kind of closure for him. College had given him a safe place to come to terms with his sexuality. Though never serious, he'd dated other men, but most of the relationships ultimately crumbled, and he was always reluctant or indifferent about piecing them together again.

When the wind began to pick up, Sasuke pulled up the collar of his jacket as he approached the wrought-iron fence surrounding the churchyard. He noticed a lit sign advertising Christmas services, but then his gaze was drawn to the moving truck parked in front of the church, where two men - both around his age - struggled with a pew they were carrying down the loading ramp. The men began to bicker until the one wearing an orange beanie glanced over his shoulder and saw Sasuke standing there.

"Hey, y'gonna watch us struggle, or do y'think you can give us a hand?"

He could only blink at first, a harsh reply on the tip of his tongue, but when the man's hold on the pew started to slip, he rushed up the ramp to grab the front of it.

"Who the hell moves during this kind of weather?" Sasuke muttered. "The sidewalk is slick in places, too, if you haven't noticed already."

"We appreciate your concern," grunted the young man who, as Sasuke was close enough to observe now, had several pieces of bright blond hair peeking out from beneath his hat.

The blond, who turned out to be spectacularly bossy, directed everyone from that point on as to the best way to get the pew in through the front of the church. Sasuke had his own opinions on the matter, and somehow they ended up compromising on the best way to get the damn thing through the entrance and into the main worship room. When they finally pushed it into place, the other man who'd been helping them disappeared after mumbling something about needing to relieve himself.

That left Sasuke with the blond, who was still fussing over the pew and whether he should move it three inches forward or back or to the left or right. He had no idea why he remained there watching this idiot who kept talking to himself like a crazy person. The moment Sasuke turned to leave, the blond suddenly stopped what he was doing and called to him.

"Hey, where are you goin'? I've got another pew to bring in."

"I'm not sure how that's my problem," he replied.

"Oh, that's a wonderful attitude to have. It's nearly Christmas."

"Not everyone celebrates Christmas in this world, or aren't you aware?"

The stranger raised an eyebrow at his tone, but didn't appear particularly offended or even angry. Instead, he simply stared.

"What?" Sasuke snapped.

"Uh. Nothin', I guess," the man replied, shaking his head. "Sorry... I... heh. Oh, crap." He ripped off his skull cap. "I probably shouldn't be wearin' a hat in a place like this, huh? Anyway. Thanks for your help. I kinda thought... y'know, you were headed this way, so maybe you were a parishioner... and, yeah. Not exactly a great first impression. Sorry again."

Sasuke sighed and, almost longingly, glanced at the exit as he rubbed the back of his head. "Isn't it a bit presumptuous to _add_ pews when the attendance has been going down?"

"Who said it was goin' down?" The blond asked, taking a few steps closer.

Sasuke noticed the disastrous shade of blue that held his gaze. "I might've heard something about it from my mother the other day."

"Your family goes here then? I might know 'em."

"And who are you exactly?"

"Oh, right. I'm Naruto. My dad's the new pastor." He held out his hand.

Sasuke stared at the hand, hesitating briefly before he took it and shook it firmly. "You're the pastor's son?"

"Yep. Don't hold it against me." Naruto laughed at his own joke. "So, do you have a name? I certainly haven't seen you at any services in the past couple of weeks since Dad started."

"No, I... go to college in another state. I'm only home for the holidays."

Naruto nodded. "Cool. Well, are you gonna come to one of the Christmas services? You should totally attend the midnight one. Dad's gonna let me play along as a couple of the kids from Bible School sing some hymns and stuff."

"I don't think so."

"No?" Naruto smiled brightly at him, tilting his head just slightly to the side. "Why's that?"

"I... don't go to church."

Naruto's smile didn't falter. "No worries." He shrugged. "It'd be cool if you did come, though. I'm new here, and we look to be about the same age, so - "

"I'm not interested in making any friends. Not in this town, and nothing you can say is going to get me to come to this church."

Naruto merely nodded, keeping a very open expression that only served to irritate and frustrate him further.

"I apologize if I made you uncomfortable," he said sincerely, though he looked as if he wanted to say more "...Thanks for your help with the pew."

Without a word of parting, Sasuke turned around and, as fast as he could manage, exited the church. He nearly slipped as his foot left the last step. What the hell was it about being in this church that always caused him to feel guilty? Why the hell would he ever go to church again after everything he'd been through?

 _Fuck._

He'd left town to get away from all of that. Why did he let himself come back here if he was just going to relive all of that pain?

Why now?

Why.

As the snow began to fall harder, Sasuke dared not look up the sky. He dared not believe that if he asked why that his questions would be answered.

It's not as if he'd ever been given any before - about why he'd been born this way, about what happened to Gaara - so why the fuck would he expect any answers be given to him now?

* * *

That night, Sasuke lay in bed unable to sleep. His bedroom remained exactly as it had while he was in high school. He wondered if life for him would always be like this. Would he always struggle with the guilt - for being the one who remained alive? For not yet coming out to his parents? For having never spoken out to defend Gaara? He still wore the necklace sometimes. Even when dating other men, Sasuke continued to wear it, maybe to return that same loyalty Gaara had always showed him.

In the later hours, when he finally grew drowsy enough to maybe fall asleep, he thought of the new pastor's son and how different their lives must've been. Naruto had likely never known suffering or loss. He was probably the same as everyone else in that church: judgmental and narrow-minded.

Invite him to church? Yeah, right. He didn't know if he even believed in anything anymore. Everything he'd been taught in church growing up was nothing but lies. There was no compassion, no forgiveness, no understanding. Why had talking to that idiot stirred up all of these old feelings?

Those blue eyes had remained so calm, so still. He didn't come off smug and self-righteous like so many others. He'd seen that look before... the same one that used to reassure him, calm him when he agonized over the helplessness, the confusion, the shame of knowing that he was gay and there was nothing he could do about it, or that life might not ever be easy for him as it would be for others. That he would be treated differently for an aspect of his life that he never would have chosen for himself.

Turning on his side, Sasuke pulled the blankets up tighter to his body and grabbed the extra pillow to cover his face, tears streaking down his cheeks. He felt so alone... he didn't want to feel this way anymore... there was no one around to help him... who could possibly understand this pain?

 _No one_ , he thought. _Absolutely no one_.

* * *

During a particularly uncomfortable Christmas Eve dinner his mother burst into tears because he declared he'd rather not attend midnight services with them. Following a stern lecture from his father, Sasuke, reluctantly, went up to his room and got dressed for church.

He picked out a pair of black slacks and a sweater and simply sat on the edge of the bed, toying with his necklace. After being called downstairs, Sasuke put on his coat and met his parents, who were already waiting for him by the door.

* * *

A small crowd was forming in the church lobby, and Sasuke thought he would go mad if he didn't escape soon. He decided to head to the bathroom. Every conversation he overheard sounded so phony. While he was washing his hands, the door opened and in came that blond from the other day along with an equally blond toddler.

Surprised, Sasuke glanced at the young boy and then at the pastor's son.

"Oh, hey," he said to Sasuke. "You came."

The little boy tugged at his guardian's pant leg. "I gotta go, Naruto. I gotta go."

"Okay, okay." Naruto offered Sasuke an apologetic smile. "Hey, can you hold on a sec? His parents were too busy to take him to the bathroom, can you believe that? I mean, who wants to sit through a service with wet pants?"

Mostly out of shock, he remained standing there, trying to figure out why he'd thought it odd that Naruto might have children at such a young age. He hadn't noticed a wedding ring the other day and, being a pastor's son, it would've been quite the scandal in a town like this. A few minutes later, after overhearing an interesting conversation about 'aim' taking place in the stall, the two walked out together. Naruto helped the boy with washing his hands.

Sasuke sneered a bit as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "So, not yours then?"

"This guy?" Naruto tugged at the child's tiny suspender strap and glanced at him in the mirror. "Nah. Kinda looks like me, though, doesn't he? We could be brothers." He picked up the boy and held him in his arms.

"Who's that?" The boy asked, pointing at Sasuke.

He narrowed his eyes at the chubby finger.

"I dunno his name," Naruto answered. "He wouldn't give it to me when I asked."

"Why?"

Naruto hummed at the child. "I'm sure he has his reasons. Sometimes we gotta respect people's privacy."

Sasuke frowned, annoyed he was being talked about as if he wasn't there.

"It's Sasuke," he muttered. "Sasuke Uchiha."

Naruto grinned and shifted the boy to his other arm. "Sasuke," he said. "Yeah, I've talked to your parents a few times. They're pretty nice folks."

Sasuke didn't reply. He was staring at the toddler, who kept wiggling around in Naruto's arms.

"Do you like kids?" Naruto asked.

"Not especially."

Naruto barked out a laugh. "Ah, well. They can be a handful, that's for sure, but they're mostly cute. So, um. I guess you'll get to hear me play tonight? I'm sorry you'll have to suffer through my attempt at playing Christmas songs and hymns and all that."

"You play?"

"Yeah. I play the piano. My mom had me learn it from a pretty young age, no matter how many times I tried to get out of practice."

"I see. Is she here tonight?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto bit his lip. "Nah. She died four years ago this February. It's just dad and me."

The boy in Naruto's arms started to struggle, meanwhile, and reached for Sasuke to take him. Because he was distracted thinking about Naruto having lost his mother around the same time that Gaara was killed, he automatically held out his arms and took the child.

Naruto tugged at a piece of the boy's hair fondly. "Do you have any kids?"

"Me?" Sasuke scoffed. "No, hardly."

Naruto shrugged. "I have friends who've had kids at a younger age than me."

"Friends from your youth group, I'm sure?" Sasuke asked sarcastically.

Naruto leaned in as if he was about to tell Sasuke a secret. "I see. You're one of those who expects I'm probably a good person and always on my best behavior 'cause I'm a pastor's kid?"

Sasuke raised a brow. "You're not a good person?"

"I'm as good as I can be," Naruto replied, poking the bouncing child in the back. The boy squealed in Sasuke's ear much to his annoyance. "I certainly try to be a good person, but it's not got a whole lot to do with my dad bein' a pastor. Anyway, I should probably get him back to his parents. It was good to see ya again, Sasuke. Glad you could make it." He took the toddler from him and headed for the door.

"Naruto," Sasuke called as he was about to walk out.

Naruto stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"You…," Sasuke started to say but suddenly felt awkward. "What are you doing after the service?"

"Uh, I dunno. Goin' back to my apartment to sleep? Why? Somethin' goin' on in town that I should know about? No one ever tells me about these things. Apparently, everyone thinks m'gonna get them in trouble if they invite me to stuff. I go through it every time I move."

"No... I." Sasuke shook his head. "Nevermind."

"Narutoooo," the child whined. "I'm thirsty."

"Mmkay, we'll get some punch in a second, but I'm talkin' to Sasuke." Naruto turned to him again. "I'll come and find you after the service, is that cool?"

Sasuke didn't really have time to give an answer before Naruto walked out of the bathroom and disappeared into the Christmas crowd. He glanced at the mirror, spying the hint of chain that appeared from underneath his sweater.

He wasn't sure why he'd asked Naruto about his plans for later. All Sasuke knew was that he didn't want to go back home and, if left alone, he was fearful of what he might try to do.

* * *

After the service, Sasuke lied to his parents, saying that he was going out to catch up with old high school friends.

The service had been an interesting one. It was almost unbelievable how much the new pastor looked like Naruto. In fact, he was rather handsome for an older man. Sasuke hadn't considered Naruto in that way, but now that he thought about it, he wasn't especially horrible to look at. There hadn't been any preaching of fire and brimstone, so, in that respect, the sermon was a lot more progressive than he was used to. Naruto playing the piano alongside a bunch of easily distracted children was probably the highlight of the evening, though. A lot of people smiled and laughed during their performance, and even Sasuke couldn't help but chuckle as the littlest ones tried their best with the choreography. Naruto was good about it, and always remained incredibly patient. Sasuke thought he might make an excellent teacher if he would even be interested in something like that. Not wanting to wait inside while some of the older ladies fawned all over Naruto's father, Sasuke strayed outside the back entrance to watch the falling snow for a few minutes. Another ten minutes went by, and he heard the door open behind him.

"Hey. I've been lookin' all over for you."

"I needed some fresh air," he said, still gazing at the sky.

Naruto walked over to stand at his side. He had his jacket on as well as the orange skull cap and scarf.

"Yeah, it gets pretty crowded in there," he said to Sasuke. "I thought it was a good service. I think dad was kinda nervous. How did you like the kids?"

Sasuke regarded him coolly, eyebrow drawn up a bit because Naruto seemed genuinely interested in his opinion. "They were... cute."

"I know, right?" Naruto chuckled and rubbed at the side of his nose. "So, what are you doin' now?"

"Nothing. Just didn't feel like going home right away."

Naruto's breath came out visible as he exhaled. "Wanna go to my place? I don't live too far away."

Sasuke blinked at the invite.

"If not, we can just go for a walk if you want? You seem like you wanna talk."

"What makes you say that?" Sasuke asked.

"Ah, well. You start to recognize that look after a while. Not everyone, especially people our age, wanna go to my dad to talk about the things that are botherin' them. So, sometimes they come to me. I don't mind, and I'm a good listener."

Sasuke stared at him. "You said your place isn't very far?"

Naruto smiled. "Only a few blocks away."

"...Alright."

"That was easy. You must be desperate if you're willin' to spend your first hours of Christmas with me, huh?"

Clearly, Naruto had meant it as a joke, but Sasuke felt on the verge of something... something that brought him back to that one day in church.

He started to feel dizzy, but Naruto grabbed his arm before he lost his balance.

"You okay?" Naruto asked, looking worried.

"Yeah. Let's just... go. I need to get out of here."

* * *

Naruto's place wasn't very far at all. It was only four blocks from the church. There was a picket fence that went around the front yard, and as Naruto opened the gate, it squeaked, leaving him to mutter about needing to add that to his list of projects.

"I'm rentin' the house for now, but the guy I'm rentin' from is gonna let me fix it up and maybe sell it to me at the end of the lease."

He didn't respond because he wasn't exactly sure why Naruto would want to put the time and effort into it when he'd be better off buying something new. This was just a small, one-story bungalow. Sasuke felt awkward as he followed behind Naruto, who kept trying to make conversation with him despite how the only answers he gave came in the form of grunts. A dusting of snow covered the walkway leading to the porch. Naruto unlocked the door for them and invited him inside. There were a few boxes in the living room and not a whole lot of furniture. Just a couch and a side table. There also appeared to be a working fireplace.

"That's the original wood," Naruto pointed at the floor. "I think before I unpack I'm gonna sand it down and maybe stain it."

"You sound like you're good with your hands," Sasuke remarked, glancing around the room.

Naruto took off his coat and threw it on the couch. "I dunno about good, but I've always liked to build stuff since I was little. I always watch those shows where they restore old houses. I think that would be the best job, but I'm pretty sure my dad is expectin' me to follow in his footsteps."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Naruto shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "I'm not sure how I feel about it, but do you ever just... do stuff to keep people happy?"

Sasuke didn't reply and chose to preoccupy himself by exploring. He went over to the fireplace and ran his fingers across the top of the mantle, picking up dust on his fingers.

"Sorry the place is such a mess," said Naruto. "I haven't had a lotta time to do any cleaning."

"You don't have to apologize to me all of the time, Naruto. I invited myself, after all."

"Ah, well. To be honest, I'm happy to have company. Can I get you anything to drink? I have normal stuff like water or soda or juice, or, if you want...I have some beer... vodka, too, I think."

"You're 21?"

Naruto slid his hands into the pocket of his slacks. "Nope. Are you?"

"Hn. Not yet. But... yeah. I'll have something to drink. If that's alright."

"Sure, no problem. Wanna join me in the kitchen? You can see what I have."

Before following, Sasuke unbuttoned his coat and set it on the arm of the couch, next to Naruto's. They entered the kitchen, which also had several boxes stacked in one corner. However, when Naruto opened the refrigerator door, it appeared well stocked.

"Does your father know about this?" Sasuke asked, smirking.

Naruto clucked his tongue. "I told you. I'm just like anyone else and that includes drinkin' underage on occasion."

Sasuke hummed as he eyed a carton of orange juice. "You said you have vodka?"

Naruto chuckled. "I do. You want a Screwdriver?"

"Sure." He leaned against the counter and watched as Naruto grabbed a couple of glasses out of one of the cabinets. Naruto went back to the freezer to pull out a tray of ice cubes and put three in each glass before pouring in the orange juice and then a generous amount of vodka.

He handed one of the glasses to Sasuke. "Cheers."

Sasuke took a sip, lips puckering as he tasted the alcohol. "That's strong."

"Thought it might help you relax." Naruto let out a sigh as he raked a hand through his hair.

"Tired?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto smiled at the question. "A little. It's been a busy few months."

"Should I not have come?" He sipped his drink, selfishly hoping that even if he was, that he wouldn't kick him out just yet.

Naruto chewed at his lip. "I'm happy to have company. To be honest, it's been kinda lonely around here. You said you're goin' to college? You're clearly not 21, so that makes you either the same age as me or younger."

"I'm 20," he said.

"Me, too. But go on. Tell me about yourself, Sasuke. Your likes and dislikes. Your hopes and dreams."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, ignoring when Naruto laughed. "I go to college several hours away from here, but I was born and raised in this town."

"What are you studyin'?" Naruto hopped onto the counter, and as he set down his drink, unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt.

So that it didn't seem as though he was leering, Sasuke lowered his gaze and took another sip from the glass. "Graphic design with a minor in studio art."

"Art? Really?" Naruto looked impressed. "So do you paint? Draw?"

"I draw," he replied. "My father didn't think much could be done with a simple Art degree, so I appeased him by going into graphic design."

"Hm. How long have you been drawing?"

"Since I was little. I," He shifted on his feet. "I had a friend when I was younger who also used to draw. I never thought I was good at it, but he was quite encouraging."

"That's cool that you had a friend like that."

Sasuke simply nodded and continued to drink.

"Do you guys still hang out? Or did you go to the same college together?"

Sasuke slid his tongue across his teeth. "...No. We don't hang out." He raised his eyes to meet Naruto's. "He died when I was 17."

Naruto's eyes went wide momentarily before he just looked sad on Sasuke's behalf. "I'm very sorry to hear that."

"I'm surprised you haven't heard about it yet. It was one of the town's biggest scandals. I guess that's bound to happen when a young boy is killed by his own father."

" _Jesus_ , are you fuckin' kidding me? I can't even imagine that!"

Sasuke snorted. "Not many people can."

"Is that the reason why you don't want to go to church anymore?"

He nearly dropped the glass at the question.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to ask that so bluntly," Naruto said, "But... I remember what you said that first night we met, and, at the time, I didn't know your reasons for feelin' that way, but it reminded me of how I felt when my mom died. Losin' someone you care about definitely shakes your faith. I mean, it's perfectly normal to question - "

"I'm sure our experiences aren't as similar as you think," Sasuke cut him off.

"No. I wasn't sayin' that at all. I just wanted you to know that I get it. I mean, I'm not gonna preach to you. It's just that... there had to be a reason you were walkin' past the church that night. And when I saw that you'd come for the service, I was really happy."

Sasuke stared at him a long while before his gaze shifted to a few pictures being held up by magnets on the refrigerator. He started playing with the chain at his neck.

"It was hard living here," Sasuke murmured. "Growing up here... was very difficult."

"Because of what happened to your friend?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke shook his head. "I think I'm going to need another drink or two before I'm ready to talk about that."

Naruto hopped off the counter and took his glass. He refilled it with a little more juice and a lot more vodka before handing it back.

"Do you think you could give me a tour of the rest of the house?"

"If you want." Naruto picked up his own drink and led the way out of the kitchen. "It's not especially big. There's just the one bedroom, but there's another room I could fit a twin bed. I was thinkin' of just makin' it an office. Or, music room, I guess. Right now, my piano's bein' stored at my dad's house." He kicked some boxes aside as they entered a long, narrow hallway.

On the left was a full-bath, on the right was the office, and then at the end of the hall was the bedroom. Naruto moved yet another box and pushed open the door.

"Pardon the mess." He flipped on the light. "I figure after I take care of the flooring, I can prime and paint the walls. Not that this color is horrible."

The room, despite the boxes, was surprisingly neat. The bed was made, but it had no head or foot board, just a full-size mattress and box spring. The walls were painted a darker green.

"I like this color," he said softly.

"Yeah? Green your favorite color?" Naruto took a seat on the foot of the bed.

"It was, yeah," he replied, still looking at it.

"Hm, well. That's pretty much it for the tour. There's a basement, but it's packed with all kinds of shit for now. We still have a lot of my mom's stuff, like, things she collected or furniture that belonged to her family. Dad didn't want it at his place, and I guess I didn't wanna get rid of it or give it away."

Again, Sasuke started to play with the chain around his neck. "I think I can understand."

"You can sit here if you want," Naruto gave the bed a pat. "It's not dirty or anything. I just changed the sheets this morning. Comforter's clean, too."

Sasuke eyed him warily, but taking another sip of his drink, he decided to sit on the edge of the bed, keeping some distance between them.

"You said when your mother died that you questioned your faith," Sasuke rubbed his thumb underneath the rim of the glass, "What made you decide that you still wanted to keep attending church?"

"I guess... even though I questioned God and I was angry, it didn't stop me from believin' in him. It just made me really pissed off at him. I mean, my mom was one of the nicest people on the planet, Sasuke." Naruto leaned back on the bed and sighed. "She was... just crazy. But in a good way. I guess I couldn't wrap my head around the concept of bad things happenin' to good people. I didn't really understand at all, and, afterward, people kinda started treatin' me differently. Friends at school suddenly didn't wanna be my friends 'cause they didn't really know what to say. Was it like that for you... when you lost your friend? What was his name?"

"Gaara," he answered and had to clear his throat. "His name was Gaara. And, no, it wasn't like that because he was my only friend, so when he died, I had no one."

"That must've been rough. To lose a best friend, and then you said... he was killed by his own father? What happened? I mean, that's pretty fucked up."

Sasuke looked back at him. "You want the gruesome details?"

Naruto frowned at the question. "I don't want gruesome details, but I wanna know what happened, yeah. If you want to talk about it."

"I haven't talked about it to anyone. Not really anyway. There are a few... people... that I tried to talk to about it, but, like you said, they didn't really know how to handle that kind of baggage. Needless to say, it's made it very difficult to keep a stable relationship."

"No kiddin'. How do you bring that one up?" Naruto asked bitterly, shaking his head.

Sasuke shifted around so that he could sit sideways on the bed, catching Naruto just as he was about to swallow the rest of his drink. For the briefest of seconds, he ran his eyes down the line of Naruto's neck and to the open collar of his shirt.

"Sasuke?"

Had Naruto caught him staring?

"What?" He asked.

"If you have somethin' you wanna say, go ahead and say it." Naruto leaned back on the bed, putting most of his weight on his right arm. "I'm not a pastor or whatever, but bein' a pastor's son, and havin' always had people come to me with their problems, I want you to know you can speak to me in confidence. I won't tell anyone what you say. If you're worried about that."

"I'm sure anyone can just say that they'll keep their mouths shut," Sasuke replied. "I don't know you well enough to trust you, no offense."

"None taken, but you've come this far. You clearly wanna talk but are holdin' back, and I'm happy to just sit here and keep you company, but I also wanna help. If I can."

The alcohol made the notion of opening up to Naruto seem very appealing, and, yet, having lived with the fear so long, of... talking about Gaara's death, about him being gay, it was just... too difficult.

"I'm not sure you can help me," he said, staring at the diamond pattern on Naruto's comforter.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the type of guy who'd do anything he can to try at least," Naruto replied.

Sasuke sighed and, finishing his drink, handed the glass to Naruto, who took it with a raised eyebrow. Not being much of a drinker, Sasuke was already tipsy. He flopped back onto the bed and, with another sigh, covered his eyes with his hands.

" _Fuck_ ," he muttered, hating how pathetic he felt, how pathetic he was and had always been.

He heard Naruto set something on the floor - probably their glasses - but he didn't feel like opening his eyes. They were hurting anyway, and the light would only make it worse.

"You okay?" Naruto asked, his voice soft and full of concern.

"My eyes hurt."

"Should I turn the lights off?"

Sasuke shrugged.

The bed creaked, and he heard Naruto's feet padding across the floor to turn off the lights. He returned to the bed, which dipped as he crawled back onto it and sat unexpectedly close to him.

"Better?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, thanks." He was able to crack open his eyes. "I shouldn't have come back, I think. I hadn't been here for a year. I always found excuses for why I couldn't come home. I hate being here, Naruto. I hate it."

"Because it reminds you of Gaara?"

"That's part of it," he answered, fingers reaching for the necklace.

"Can I ask you somethin' I hope doesn't offend you?"

Naruto's tone alone caused Sasuke's heart to race. "...You can."

"I feel like there's more to the story of what happened to you and to your friend. It's... I get the feelin' it _is_ very different from me losin' my mom."

"Everyone handles grief differently, Naruto."

"I know. But, like I said, I've talked to a lot of people over the years. People who felt comfortable comin' to me because of who my dad is, so I'm familiar with a lot of different situations, and I've heard one or two similar to yours. Not exactly the same, but..."

"...But?"

"Can I ask you, the necklace you keep playing with... is that somethin' that Gaara gave to you before he died?"

Sasuke bit his lip. He hesitated, debating whether to answer truthfully. "...It is."

"You two...?" The bed shifted as Naruto rolled onto his side and faced him.

Sasuke could make out the intensity of Naruto's expression even in the dark. "Go on."

"You were more than friends, weren't you? You and Gaara."

"That..." He took in a deep breath and then let it out, shutting his eyes, feeling the smallest bit of relief. "Might not be inaccurate."

"Okay. I kind of thought that for some reason, but I've been wrong before."

Sasuke snorted. "Do I give off a vibe? It's not as if anyone else ever picked up on it, including my parents."

"Your parents don't know?" Naruto looked surprised.

"Of course not," he scoffed. "This town, as I learned back then, doesn't take kindly to homosexuals, Naruto. It's the perfect cliché. All of those people who were there tonight? Most of them were also there the day of Gaara's funeral service, pretending to be sad about the loss of a local teenager when, behind closed doors, they were secretly judging him because they _knew_. It was all over the papers, that Gaara's father found out he was gay and bashed his head in with a bat."

"Jesus," Naruto let out. "That is some fucked up shit that went down. No wonder... and you kept all of this to yourself? No one knows about the two of you? You..."

"I loved him. He was my best friend back then, and he was always so careful not to let anyone find out, for my sake, I think. My dad, as you know, works at the police station, and... I wanted... I should've..."

As Sasuke broke down, Naruto reached for him. The contact, which normally would've earned a rebuff, only caused the pain and loneliness he was feeling to intensify. He wanted to curl up in Naruto's arms and cry, like he'd never been able to do back then. He almost didn't care if Naruto told the whole world, mocked him the next day behind his back, or even decided to kick him out of his home for admitting he was gay.

He just didn't care anymore.

"They never knew that it was me," he admitted. "That Gaara and I were together, and..."

He wanted to say more about how he'd failed to defend Gaara, to admit he'd been a coward... that he'd deserved all of the pain and loneliness and guilt he'd felt ever since then... but... he just couldn't get it out. He was so used to repressing it that he didn't know how to handle all of the emotions he was feeling right now.

"It's not your fault," Naruto told him and, suddenly, put an arm around him. "What happened to Gaara is not your fault. You can't help who you love, Sasuke. There's nothin' wrong with havin' cared about him, or havin' loved him. There's nothin' wrong with bein' gay. I know that's... atypical from what a lot of religious institutions say sometimes... but... I've always believed that... they've got it all wrong. That God doesn't make mistakes, that he loves everyone equally and hates the fact that we all put each other through so much unnecessary pain and bullshit."

"You're right... you probably shouldn't follow in your father's footsteps. Christians... they don't want to hear that, Naruto. Most churches... they just can't accept people like me. They won't see me as a person any longer. My parents... if my father found out - "

Naruto hushed him and slipped his other arm around his waist in a protective gesture. Sasuke could smell his cologne and thought he recognized it. Even if he didn't know Naruto that well, the physical closeness was considerably calming.

"I don't know how to explain it," said Naruto. "But... I guess I've never understood why people do that, especially people of faith y'know. We're supposed to be understanding and accepting and love each other and all that garbage - "

Sasuke gave a strangled laugh and placed a hand on top of Naruto's arm.

"But... not everyone is like that," Naruto continued. "I mean, we know that. Our generation is way more accepting of it than our parents'. What happened to Gaara and everything you went through... it's not right. It's not okay to turn your back on people who need your help. It's okay to love who you want, we can't help it. Believe me, I've been there - "

"Oh?" He asked facetiously despite the fact Naruto was only trying to comfort him. "You've been in love with a boy who got murdered by his own father?"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"You're not trying to come out to me, are you?"

"Shut up, asshole, and let me comfort you."

Sasuke, unable to hold everything in any longer, rolled over underneath Naruto's arm and slid up against his front. He didn't care how inappropriate it was or that they'd only just met and he'd spilled his guts in such an embarrassing fashion. Despite having a lot of pride, he just - at least for this one night - needed to feel safe.

Naruto, speaking gently to him, started stroking his hair. "Whether you wanna hear it, or even if you wanna believe it, God does love you, Sasuke. Just as you are. You weren't a mistake 'cause God doesn't make mistakes. Life throws a lot of shit at us, and maybe we're meant to learn somethin' from it. That's my hope anyway. That no one up there is doin' it to be cruel or because we did somethin' wrong and deserve to be punished... I don't wanna say that there's a plan or anything 'cause when people told me that after mom died, it only pissed me off... but... that you obviously still have faith even after everything that's happened to you... I don't want you to give up on that."

"I never gave up on it," he replied quietly. "I've wanted to. But, it fucking sucks, Naruto. Feeling this way. Feeling this alone."

Naruto's cheek pressed against his as he continued running fingers through Sasuke's hair. "You're not alone now. You can talk to me about anything you want, or if you want to cry some more, that's okay, too."

"Shut up, idiot. I'm not crying."

"No, of course not." Naruto chuckled and pat him on the back of his head before hugging him closer.

"You smell good," Sasuke mumbled.

"Do I?" Naruto gave himself a sniff.

"Mmhmm."

"You sound like you're about to fall asleep."

"I am."

"It's late, though. Won't your parents be worried about you?"

"Told them I was going to see friends. They believed me." He snickered. "They don't know me at all."

"We can be friends," Naruto said. "You can stay here as long as you need to."

"The pastor's son is going to let me sleep in his bed with him?"

"Of course."

"Are you going to take advantage of me while I'm sleeping? That's what priests do to little boys, right?"

When Naruto let out a laugh, Sasuke grabbed hold of the front of his shirt.

"No, Sasuke. I'd much rather do that when you're awake and willing."

Sasuke assumed he was joking, but it still gave him a reason to smirk.

"You are a good person," Sasuke teased. "Gay or straight, anyone else would've taken advantage of this situation."

He hummed next to Sasuke's ear. "I said you're safe here, so no one's gettin' taken advantage of. Just go to sleep."

"Fine," he replied sleepily, nose accidentally brushing against Naruto's neck. "Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Merry Christmas."

Naruto moved his arm so that it went around Sasuke's shoulders, pressing him closer. "Merry Christmas, Sasuke."


	2. Chapter 2

_Five years ago_

Sasuke was sitting at his desk, doing some research on the computer for a history report. Gaara lay on his bed, thumbing through a comic book he'd bought on their walk home from school. As was typical, Sasuke's father would be working late, and his mother was off doing volunteer work at the church. Eventually, he had to take a break, and turning the chair around, observed the attractive red-headed boy on the bed.

"I can feel you watching me." Gaara glanced up. "Did you finish your report?"

"Hardly." Sasuke cocked his head and smirked. "Having you in my bedroom is always very distracting."

"Well, you should finish it before your dad gets home," Gaara commented and returned to reading his comic.

"Gaara."

"What is it?"

Sasuke got up and approached the foot of the bed, stretching his arm above his head until he heard his shoulder crack. He was just about to pull his shirt down after it had ridden up when Gaara glanced his way.

"Are you putting it on or taking it off?" Gaara asked, smirking at him.

Sasuke propped a knee on the mattress and crawled over to his boyfriend. He snatched the comic from the other teenager and let it drop to the floor. "Which would you prefer?"

Once Sasuke straddled him, Gaara grabbed hold of his hips and pulled him forward. "How long before your mom gets home?"

Sasuke leaned over him until both of their mouths were nearly pressed together. Gaara reached for the chain around his neck.

"Long enough," he answered as he undid the button and zipper of his boyfriend's jeans.

Gaara let the necklace go and cupped Sasuke's cheek. "Don't you ever worry about getting caught?"

"Apparently not as much as you do," Sasuke replied and snuck a hand inside Gaara's underwear.

Gaara's teeth pressed into his bottom lip as Sasuke started stroking him. "You won't be stuck here forever, Sasuke."

Momentarily, Sasuke's hand stopped, and he narrowed his eyes. "You don't plan on staying here, do you? I thought we were applying to the same colleges. Your grades are just as good as mine."

"I'm only saying," Gaara responded calmly and covered Sasuke's hand with his, encouraging him to continue. "You have a lot of talent. You're very good...," he sucked in a harsh breath, "with your hands."

Sasuke snorted while brushing his nose against Gaara's neck, smelling his cologne. "You smell good. You always smell good."

"You're such a smooth talker, Uchiha." Gaara chuckled as he slipped his fingers through Sasuke's hair. "Too bad for all the girls in our class."

"Yes," he said dryly, kissing Gaara's neck. "Too bad for them. Lucky for you."

He started moving down his boyfriend's body, helping him to get out of his shirt so that he could kiss his chest and stomach. He grazed his fingers across the coarse, reddish-brown hair trailing from below his navel to the waistband of his shorts before pulling them past Gaara's hips.

"Requests?" Sasuke asked, eyes full of humor as he raised them to meet Gaara's.

"Suck it," Gaara told him.

He snickered. "I think that's the first thing you ever said to me. What were we? In kindergarten?"

"We became friends after that." Gaara folded his arms underneath his head, watching what he was doing to him. "Who knew you'd get off on verbal abuse?"

"Tch. That wasn't it at all."

Gaara placed a hand at the back of his head, pushing him down until he took him into his mouth. "It helped that we were both outcasts from the beginning."

But Sasuke, gazing up at him, barely heard the words. Instead, he focused on the moment and the look of pleasure on Gaara's face. No one ever looked at him the way Gaara did. No one else had seen this side of him, and it was exhilarating in a way, to call up the image he knew everyone in this town had of himself - well-mannered boy, aloof, top of the class, athletic, good looking, the son of the soon-to-be police chief.

None of them would have ever guessed that as often as he could, he liked to drop to his knees, suck cock, and let his boyfriend fuck him until he came hard, screaming into the pillow. He wanted it to go on for as long as possible, having someone who knew him like no one else, and one day, just like Gaara said, they'd be free of this stupid small-minded town.

* * *

 _Present_

Sasuke awoke in the early morning hours, nearly in a state of panic when he discovered himself tangled up in someone's arms and in a place that he couldn't immediately recognize. He had every intention of leaving, but then he caught a glimpse of Naruto's face - serene with strands of flaxen hair covering his forehead, the early morning light playing on his boyish features. For a split second, he felt like he was 15 again and waking up beside his boyfriend. He brushed his nose against Naruto's shoulder, smelling that familiar cologne on him.

If Naruto knew what he was thinking right now, what would he say? That Sasuke was sick for comparing him to his dead boyfriend? Still, he didn't want to go. Naruto felt warm, and he hadn't had to wake up at his own house. He grabbed the front of the other man's shirt, and, in his sleep, Naruto murmured, shifted closer, and tightened his arm around Sasuke's waist. Deciding that there was no need to hurry home, he breathed in Naruto's scent again. He hardly knew Naruto but felt instinctively that he was someone that could be trusted, even if he didn't want to admit it. He eyed Naruto's shirt where the two buttons were undone, enabling him to catch a glimpse of a toned chest and the tantalizing curve of his collarbone. It had been at least a few months since he'd had sex, and the temptation to trace his tongue across all that smooth skin...

Sasuke sucked in a breath, trying not to run through all of the positions he wouldn't mind being in with Naruto. If only he would just wake up and fall for him, kiss him, roll him over, and make his body and soul burn like it used to with Gaara. He considered the possibility that this minor attraction could simply be the thrill of who Naruto was - the son of the new pastor. The pastor of the church that had left him tormented and conflicted throughout his youth. Last night, Naruto had offered him a safe place, but did he want it? Did he want to be fixed? He wasn't sure because right now he was considering the idea of seducing Naruto only to turn around and destroy him somehow. To shake his faith so terribly that he would share the same level of doubt as Sasuke. He could justify it, too, making himself believe that Naruto only told him what he wanted to hear when there was so much evidence that someone like him could never truly be accepted or treated equally by the church. Bitterness and anger bloomed again in his heart.

Sasuke ran his fingers like a claw from the front of Naruto's shirt to his belt. He bit his lip as he pulled Naruto's hips against his and drew his face close to the crook of the blond man's neck. As the temptation to hurt, to _cause pain_ consumed him, he parted his lips and licked up the side of Naruto's neck. He wanted Naruto to know his helplessness. The desperation he felt caused him to no longer care about consequences. He untucked Naruto's shirt from his slacks, but by the time he reached his buckle and zipper, he felt a tight grip on his wrist before he was pushed and rolled to his back, hands pinned to the bed.

"The fuck are you _doin'_ , Sasuke?" Naruto shouted, his angry blue eyes aflame with accusation.

Sasuke smirked. "I have to explain? Weren't you the one who said not to treat you so innocently?"

"Oh, and I should _thank_ you for tryin' to violate me while I was unconscious?"

God, did the anger look so fucking good on him. It shouldn't excite him so much to have Naruto over him like this, his shirt half-undone and the button to his pants open. He just wanted something to happen, and if Naruto was straight, maybe he'd finally react in a less than patient and understanding manner. Maybe he'd turn on him like everyone else, maybe Sasuke would have his final reason to dissolve all ties with the church... to give up on his faith completely.

"You might have thanked me if you'd let me finish," Sasuke replied.

"Yeah. You're a real charming asshole," Naruto muttered and, getting off of him, moved to the opposite side of the bed. "What the hell was goin' on in your head anyway?" He started re-buttoning his shirt as he glared over at Sasuke.

"Hmm." He watched Naruto's fingers. "Just the typical thoughts that us sinners have."

"Are you finished?"

"Why?" He asked. "Are you going to kick me out, too? Go ahead."

While looking at Sasuke, Naruto's expression suddenly shifted from anger and distrust to... something that really started to annoy the shit out of him.

"Is that what this is about?" Naruto asked. "You're trying to provoke me?"

"It's not about anything," he snapped.

"Sasuke..."

The way Naruto said his name conveyed how truly pathetic Sasuke must look in his eyes right now. Furious, he sat up and in his attempt to get off of the bed, Naruto grabbed him by the wrist.

"Let go," Sasuke snarled.

"I won't." Naruto rubbed his thumb along the underside of his wrist, trying to calm him maybe. "I don't wanna kick you out, but you gotta trust me."

"Why should I trust you?" He tried to pull away. "I don't even know you, and you think you can just come here and change everyone's way of thinking! You can't do that, Naruto! They're still always going to hate people like me, and they'll grow to hate you, too, when they find out you sympathized with me. You'd be better off telling them it was me all those years ago! It was me fucking Gaara, and I'm the reason his father found out and killed him! Make sure you laugh while you do it, too! Because then they might not do to you what they did to him - "

Abruptly, Naruto yanked him into his arms, embracing him closely as his whole body began to shake. He didn't feel like he was in control of anything anymore. Naruto pulled back the covers and forced him to lie down. He lay behind Sasuke, an arm around his chest, keeping him in place so that he would stop thrashing around. He felt so fucking frustrated and angry and sad, and...

"That hurts," Sasuke mumbled through his tears. "You're hurting me."

"I'm sorry," Naruto said near his ear. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke."

"Stop saying you're sorry!"

Naruto squeezed him tighter. "I'm just gonna hold you like this until you calm down. I'm not goin' anywhere, and I won't let you leave either."

"I don't have anywhere to go," he said and began coughing when he couldn't catch his breath.

"You don't need to go anywhere right now," Naruto replied, brushing his nose against the back of Sasuke's neck. "I need you to calm down."

"You don't know anything about me." He shut his eyes. "Nothing about me. If you knew me, you'd be disgusted."

"I'm not disgusted with you," said Naruto, "I like you. I want to help you, okay?"

"Even if you aren't disgusted with me for being gay, if you knew... you'd be disgusted. It should've been me and not him. It should've been me. I should've stood up for him. He always protected me, and I'm the reason - "

Naruto rolled him over so that they faced each other. "Don't ever say that. Don't ever wish that you were dead. Gaara wouldn't have wanted that. Did you ever stop to think about what he wanted at all? He probably died knowing that you'd be safe and that no one knew about the two of you."

"The fuck do you know about him?" Sasuke snarled. "Don't even say his name! Don't talk about him like you know him!"

"I don't know him, you asshole, but I know you, and you're not weak though you're acting like you are. I know that you didn't ever have anyone to talk to about all this, I know that you feel guilty, I know that you were desperate when you reached out to me, so I'm going to fucking be there for you, you bastard, whether you want my help or not! I'm not turning my back on you or kicking you out, and you can't make me hate you just by acting like a fucking idiot!"

Sasuke was almost stunned into silence. No one had ever spoken to him like that. He wanted to rip Naruto's head off and beat the shit out of him, but, instead, he grabbed the back of his head and yanked him into a kiss that instantly caused Sasuke to release a low moan. Knowing that Naruto would resist, he slid both hands into his hair to hold him in place. Naruto, however, gently placed a hand to his chest and pushed him away. Sasuke swallowed his disappointment. His eyes were hooded as he looked at Naruto, who only stared back with an expression of calmness and compassion.

"You taste like snow," Sasuke murmured.

With a sigh, Naruto pulled at him until he had no choice but to lay his head against the blond's chest.

"Before you go home," Naruto said next to his ear, "You should grieve for him, Sasuke. If you've never had the chance to... I'll be right here."

"Jesus Christ," Sasuke said wretchedly as it hit him all over again, and he started to cry into Naruto's shirt.

He cried for so long in Naruto's arms that his throat went hoarse and his eyes swelled up. Naruto held him all the while, murmuring in his ear and telling him that everything would only get better from now on, and Sasuke, through it all, wanted so badly to believe in him because he hadn't believed in anything for so long.

"Say something," Sasuke said after a while, his voice sounding raw and scratchy.

"What should I say?" Naruto's voice was barely above a whisper.

"You're the pastor's son, you should know what to say to people like me who are lost and broken."

"You aren't broken." Naruto clasped both of their hands together against Sasuke's chest as if getting them ready for prayer. "I don't think you're lost either, and I'm nowhere near as good as my father when it comes to psalms and verses."

He shut his eyes tight as the warmth of Naruto's hands almost began to burn his skin. "I want to have faith again."

Naruto sighed in his ear, his chest rubbing against Sasuke's back as he took in a deep breath, "And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."

Sasuke almost smiled. "That's the one you found to be most appropriate? It's Luke, isn't it?"

"Hell if I know," said Naruto. "I read it on the back of a bubblegum wrapper."

Sasuke managed a short laugh. "Maybe you weren't meant to be a pastor, after all."

"I told you," Naruto replied and rested his forehead on Sasuke's shoulder. "Have I converted you back yet?"

"I don't know. Have I converted _you_?"

"To liking men? I dunno. You're moody and complex. And definitely a lot more aggressive than anyone else I've dated."

"We can always take things slower..."

"Considerin' I woke up with your hand in my pants, I can't imagine movin' any faster."

He thought he felt Naruto's lips brush the back of his head.

"Naruto..."

"Hm?"

"I don't know anything about you, do I?"

"Nope."

He started to fear the idea of being alone again. "You... you're probably meeting with your father today?"

"That's the plan." Naruto let go of Sasuke's hands. "What is it... 6.00? He has a service at 8."

Sasuke fought the urge not to turn over and cling to him. "...Do you need to go to that?"

"Hmm. I suppose I should, but it's not as if I was gonna be participating."

"You're not going to ask me to go?"

"Do you wanna go?"

"I'm not sure I have any sins left to confess."

"Sure you do," Naruto said so quickly that Sasuke nearly laughed. "Plus, we aren't Catholic. No one's gonna make you go to confession."

"Thank you for listening. I... feel better now."

"No problem," Naruto replied sleepily. "You're warm."

"It's all that hellfire," he said bitterly.

"Jesus loves the gays. That's, like, the last thing he's concerned about. I mean, I've probably done a lot of shit he'd slap me upside the head for. Even I've made out with dudes. It's not a big deal."

"...Are you being serious right now?" Sasuke started to turn in Naruto's arms, but the other man grunted and put an arm around his waist again.

"M'comfortable. Stop movin'," Naruto complained. "You nearly busted my eardrum earlier with all your yelling."

"But you just said you make out with other guys...?"

"It was a joke," Naruto replied. "Now, go back to sleep. By the way, I know I'm irresistible and all that, but if you could refrain from ripping my clothes off this time, I'd really appreciate it."

"Shut up, idiot. I was only - "

"Shh. It's fine. Sleep."

"Are you sure you weren't adopted, you heathen?"

"Sasuke," Naruto groaned. "We're all sinners, now let me sleeeep."

"Hm."

The warm breath hitting the back of his neck was distracting him from arguing further. He also felt tired and emotionally drained, so going back to sleep sounded extremely appealing. It was strange to him that he should've been embarrassed by how he'd acted in front of Naruto - both last night and this morning. Had their positions been reversed, he definitely would've given Naruto the boot, but, true to his word, Naruto had put up with everything Sasuke had thrown his way. He'd not met anyone like that since Gaara, and all of his boyfriends since then only got frustrated with his mood swings and angry outbursts.

"Naruto," he said, but didn't receive a response.

He listened to Naruto's breathing as it evened out, and it calmed him somehow. Being held like this, Sasuke found himself longing for something that was within his reach...yet not something he was fully able to grasp at this time. Why was it so easy for Naruto to believe, to be optimistic, to accept him when the precedent was to do otherwise? He had no answers and, sighing, Sasuke wanted this brief moment of peace and solace to linger. It felt as if something that he'd held on to for so long was now, finally, being released. It made him wonder if Gaara had anything to do with this. If he'd somehow pushed Sasuke to return home this one last time so that his path would intersect with Naruto.

"Thank you," he said, inexplicably lost to an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

Outside, through the window, the snow continued to fall, heavy and slow, like a shimmering curtain of white. It was really beautiful, he thought. Pure.

He shut his eyes, body and brain both succumbing to the exhaustion... even his soul felt tired. All of that anger and guilt and loneliness... maybe he was ready... to let it all go. Not forget, but just... let it go. Live. Maybe love again. Gaara had saved him back then, but it was Naruto who'd re-awakened his faith. Before the end of his break, he'd have to find a way to thank him, but, for now, there was nothing more he could do than to just... sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_Take Me to Church_

While Naruto was getting ready to attend his father's morning service, Sasuke slipped out of the house without so much as a goodbye. Naruto had been in the shower, and, after sleeping only another hour before an alarm went off, Sasuke awoke feeling incredibly mortified about everything. What with the having told Naruto - a complete stranger - about his entire past and feelings when he'd never been the type to open up to anybody. Surely Naruto was ready for Sasuke to leave, too. Like Naruto had mentioned, he probably had to listen to a whole host of people complaining about their problems. He must get tired of it after a while.

Once he'd walked back to his house, he tried to be quiet even though he knew his parents were awake. He could smell coffee brewing and heard the television on in the living room. He headed up the stairs, hoping to sneak by without anyone noticing, but his father called to him before he could reach the stairway that led to his bedroom.

"Sasuke," said his father. "Have you been out this whole time?"

"I was at a friend's," he replied. "We had a couple of drinks, so I ended up staying the night."

"I see. Were you able to catch up with everyone from your high school?"

"Yes, father."

"By the way, we're having guests for dinner tonight. You know your mother. She invited the new pastor over."

"...She did?" Sasuke grabbed the doorframe.

"She told him to invite his son, too. I believe he's your age. I've heard very good things about him. Maybe the two of you could become friends and you might visit us more often, hm?"

He cleared his throat as he glanced at the decorated Christmas tree in the corner. "What time are we eating?"

"Around 6. Since you're just getting in, Sasuke, should we postpone opening presents?"

"I'm sorry." He bowed his head. "I should've let you know I was staying the night."

His father waved a dismissive hand. "I'd prefer you stay put than try to drive or get in the car with anyone else who's been drinking. We're glad you had a good time."

"I'll... just take a shower and get dressed then. Is mother in the kitchen?"

"She is. Make sure you tell her Merry Christmas before you go upstairs."

"I will," he said. "Merry Christmas, father."

"Merry Christmas, Sasuke."

* * *

After Sasuke took a shower and dressed, he made his way downstairs to help set the table for breakfast. As they ate, his mother spoke fondly (and at length) of last night's service. She went on about the new pastor and how nice it was to have someone younger and "so handsome", which led to his father teasing her for a good 20 minutes.

"Sasuke," she said. "Did you get a chance to meet the pastor's son? He played the piano last night for the children."

He nearly dropped his fork. "I... ran into him in the bathroom before the service. He was helping out one of the younger boys."

"All my girlfriends think he's quite charming. Very personable, easy to talk to, always very modest. I've talked to him before but didn't get a chance to speak to him much last night. Apparently he went straight home after the service. Such a shame. I wanted the two of you to meet!"

"You sound like you're trying to set us up on a date," he muttered.

"Don't be silly," she said. "I just think he's a nice boy. It might be good for you. Your father says you spent the night at a friend's house?"

"Yeah. A... few of the boys from school had a party, and... I had a little too much to drink so it seemed a good idea to stay and sleep on the couch."

"Anyone we know?" She asked, picking up her mug of coffee.

"Mikoto," his father said. "Leave the boy to his privacy."

"Oh! I... didn't even think of it like that... were there... girls there?"

"Mom," he said with a sigh.

"Sorry, sorry, dear. We're just so happy to finally have you home. I'm glad you went to church with us last night."

He merely nodded and decided it was in his best interest not to mention it had all been because she'd cried when he'd said he didn't want to go.

"I'm thinking of a nice pork loin for dinner? Mashed potatoes and green beans and dessert. Does that sound good?"

"Sure," he said. "Sounds great." He pushed his toast wedge into the egg yolk, breaking it. "And... the pastor's son is also coming tonight?"

"I did ask his father to let him know he was invited. It sounds like they didn't have any plans, which surprised me!"

"I'm sure they're still settling in," added his father and his gaze shifted to Sasuke. "I hear the pastor's boy bought that house on Matthews Street. Sounds like he'll be doing some renovations. If you have time, maybe you could help him with some projects. You used to like to do that when you were younger."

"Of course," he said, although he hoped it wouldn't come up in conversation tonight _if_ Naruto did, indeed, decide to show up.

"Now then," said Mikoto. "Should we open presents?"

Sasuke smiled faintly and nodded. "Yes."

"That used to be your favorite part," she said, looking at him expectantly. "I even stuffed your stockings!"

"He's not a little boy anymore," said his father. "You always talk to him like he's 8 years old again."

"It's fine," Sasuke interrupted, not wanting another fight to ruin their meal. "I'm... happy to open presents."

"Great!" His mother clapped her hands. "Then I'll get started on cleaning and making dinner preparations. We want them to feel welcome, don't we? Too bad we don't have a piano. I'd love to hear Naruto play something."

Sasuke stood up and started gathering their dishes to bring to the sink. His mother continued to gush for a while and it led him to wonder just how often Naruto had talked to her, how much they'd talked about him (if they had at all) in conversations, and just... in general, what was Naruto like around other people? With Sasuke, he'd been so patient and understanding, almost to a fault. Like someone who was used to tolerating the ramblings of others who sought him out. Sasuke was just one of many Naruto had helped, he was sure.

Even though he knew he should be grateful, he wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing Naruto again so soon. Would Naruto be true to his word when it came to keeping everything they said last night in confidence? He couldn't think of a reason for Naruto to bring up last night. It would be awkward for him, too, wouldn't it?

He looked out the window as he started washing all of the dishes. The snow had stopped falling, but there was at least eight inches on the ground since last night. He should shovel the drive and walkway after they opened presents. Anything to get out of the house for a while. It always felt like he was walking on eggshells when he was here, so the best places to escape were always his bedroom, the shower, or outside. That way he could avoid the weepy way his mother looked at him when she asked why he didn't come home more or the way his father seemed constantly on the verge of disappointment with him somehow.

Only another week he told himself. Another week, and he could go back to school.

* * *

While Sasuke was fixing his hair, he heard the doorbell chime from downstairs. He sighed as he gave another glance at the mirror before heading down to greet their dinner guest. His mother was already at the door, ushering in the pastor, who appeared to be carrying a bottle of wine. For a second, Sasuke thought he'd come alone, but right behind him was Naruto, who appeared to be carrying a plate of cookies.

"Come in, come in," Mikoto welcomed them insistently. "Sasuke, why don't you take their coats and put them up in our room?"

In that instant, Sasuke and Naruto's eyes locked, but the pastor's son kept his expression mostly neutral.

"Oh, that's right," cried his mother. "Naruto, have you met my son, Sasuke? He said he ran into you briefly last night, but I wasn't sure if you two were formally introduced."

"Sasuke," Naruto said as he took off his coat and presented his hand, "It's nice to meet you. I hope you've had a good Christmas so far?"

"Very nice," he replied politely and shook Naruto's hand. "And yourself?"

"Well," Naruto smiled. "It's been a pretty busy day, to be honest. We've made a few house calls. I think dad might have overbooked us."

"Naruto," his father scolded. "How could I turn down so many generous offers?'

Mikoto laughed. "Well, then we're very honored you chose to have dinner with us tonight. We've been looking forward to it. Sasuke, after you put the coats away, why don't you show Naruto around the house?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure he's seen a house before, mother."

He caught the blond snickering, but then Naruto quickly hid his grin behind his hand.

Mikoto cuffed him on the back of the head. "Where are your manners, young man?"

"It's alright," Naruto said. "You have a lovely house, Mrs. Uchiha."

"Thank you, dear. Now, where has your father gone to, Sasuke? Can I offer you a drink?" She asked the pastor, who nodded and took her arm as they made their way up the stairs.

Sasuke was stuck with Naruto.

"You came," he said.

"I did," Naruto replied. "Would you have preferred I didn't? By the way, I was surprised to come out of the shower and find you gone. A bit rude, don't you think?"

Sasuke glared. "Last night... was a mistake. I was..."

"It's fine." Naruto shrugged. "If you want me to forget it all, I can."

"Fine," he replied stiffly.

"So are you gonna give me a tour or what?" Naruto asked. "I mean, I gave you you the grand tour of my place last night."

"Naruto," he growled.

Naruto slid his hands into the pockets of his slacks, which led to Sasuke taking a quick sweep of his ensemble: red sweater with a button-up shirt underneath, pressed black pants, dress shoes - even his hair appeared carefully styled, and he was wearing that same cologne from last night.

"Fine," he said, ignoring Naruto's triumphant smile, "Follow me. Just don't touch anything."

"Oh?" Naruto said in a low voice as he started following behind him. "Says the guy who can't keep his hands to himself?"

"Shut up, idiot. I thought we were pretending last night didn't happen."

"Of course," Naruto replied, chuckling softly. "How could I forget?"

* * *

After an extremely quick tour of the house, he led Naruto up to his bedroom. They could hear the loud laughter coming from downstairs, but he'd already become sick of his mother fawning all over Naruto's dad.

"Sorry about my mother," he said, taking a seat at the desk. "She's a bit infatuated with your father."

"Well, considerin' how today went, I can't say she's the only one."

"What about you?" Sasuke asked, snatching a random pencil and watching as he twirled it in his fingers.

"What about me?" Naruto asked and nosed about the room, picking up and scrutinizing random objects much to Sasuke's annoyance.

"You know. All the single ladies in town, some back from college, I'm sure they were falling all over you."

"Why would they fall all over me?" Naruto walked toward the bed and sat down.

Sasuke studied him, trying to discern if he was being facetious or not, but he seemed to be genuine in his curiosity.

"Nevermind," he answered.

"So this is your room, huh?" Naruto asked.

"Clearly."

"It reminds me of my room at our old house in California. When we used to live near San Diego."

"You're from California?"

"I lived there for about five years, which may be the longest we've stayed in one spot."

Sasuke thought that might explain a lot, why Naruto seemed slightly more liberal than other people he'd met and maybe why he'd not been especially shocked to find out that he was gay.

"Speaking of," Naruto said, turning to him. "I have some friends who are comin' to visit tomorrow. They're stayin' for a couple of days. You should go out with us if you want."

"No thanks."

Naruto laughed. "You didn't even have to think about that one, did you?"

"I'm perfectly fine doing things on my own."

"I'm sure you are, but I was hopin' that if you wanted to, you'd hang out with us. I think you may like them. They're good people. Well, Sai might get on your nerves, but I'll try to keep him away from you."

"The more you talk about it, the more it sounds so appealing," he replied sarcastically.

"Let me put it this way. Would you rather hang out with your parents... or hang out with me?"

Sasuke took in a deep breath.

"You're playing with your chain again," Naruto pointed out.

Sasuke glanced up and blinked at him. "Naruto... I don't need you to feel sorry for me."

"You know," Naruto said and his tone held some annoyance. "You're not the only one who's ever had a hard time. There are plenty of people suffering way worse than either of us this Christmas. I don't particularly love the holidays either, but you don't see me takin' it out on anyone, especially when they're just trying to be nice."

"Thanks for the lecture," Sasuke bit out. "Maybe you really could follow in your father's footsteps."

Naruto held his glare for a while before shaking his head. "Sorry."

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I dunno." Naruto stared at his lap. "I guess... last night, when you said all that stuff about faith... I... had to remind myself of some things, too. It sucks to hear about all the awful things that happen in this world when I feel so limited with what I can do to help."

"I suppose I'm not the only one who sought out your confidence today?"

Naruto looked up, surprised, but then he smiled sheepishly and ruffled his hair. "Yeah... I... er. I shouldn't complain, but I am kinda tired. I mean, not that I don't enjoy helpin' out everyone who wants to have someone listen, but... it does get exhausting. Emotionally, I mean. I was genuinely happy to help you this morning. Happy that I could be someone who could listen to you. I wish you would've said goodbye, though. I know that's lame, but. Yeah."

"Sorry," he ended up saying. "I felt awkward after waking up and thought it would be easier to leave before you came back. I figured you were ready to go because, as you said, I'm sure it becomes very wearisome to constantly have people seeking you out to help them and listen to their problems. I'm sure you have your own... issues."

"Are you sayin' I have issues?" Naruto asked, cocking his head.

Sasuke smirked. "Definitely."

Naruto laughed and kicked his feet against the side of the bed. "Really, though. I hope you come out with us tomorrow. I think we're gonna go to the next town over so that we can drink without freakin' out any of the townspeople."

"It sucks to have to hide who you are, doesn't it?" Sasuke asked, smiling at him crookedly. "In your case... being a young alcoholic?"

"It has crossed my mind." Naruto let out a sigh. "If you don't feel like it, though. No pressure. I thought you might have a good time, and I wouldn't mind hangin' out."

"I'll think about it."

While they were smiling at one another, they heard his mother call up from downstairs to let them know they were ready to eat.

Sasuke stood up first, adjusting his clothes. He watched as Naruto stretched his arms toward the ceiling and then folded them behind his head.

"You're not gonna try and get me out of my clothes tonight, are you?" Naruto asked when he caught him staring.

"Not so long as both of our parents are in the downstairs dining room."

Naruto approached him with a smirk. "You never fooled around when your parents were home?"

"Not if I could help it," he replied. "There's only one person I would've been fooling around with and look how that turned out."

Sasuke dropped his hands to his sides, fists clenched. He hadn't meant to bring that up again.

"Sorry," Naruto said. "I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories."

"They aren't bad," he said quickly. "I... didn't mean to jump on you like that."

"It's okay." Naruto shrugged. "I should've thought first before sayin' anything."

"Well, you are an idiot, so I suppose that can't be helped."

"Asshole," said Naruto. "Is this how you should be talkin' to your savior?" He threw an arm around his shoulders, but Sasuke immediately shrugged it off.

"Touch me again, and I'll break your hand," Sasuke muttered. "Let's go."

"Yeesh. You're awfully scary. Maybe I will sick Sai on you."

"You sure talk about this Sai person a lot. Is this your best friend?"

"Hmm. You could say that, yeah. He's one of those dudes I told you I made out with."

Sasuke almost stumbled down the next stair, but Naruto caught him by the shirt.

He glared over his shoulder at him. "I thought you said you were joking?"

"Maybe I am, and maybe I'm not. What does it matter? You didn't wanna go out with us anyway."

Sasuke shook his head. "Don't talk to me anymore." He started down the stairs again, not caring if Naruto followed.

"Well, that's gonna make for an uncomfortable dinner. Why do you have to act like such a cold creep all the time?"

"Because I have to put up with morons like yourself who say whatever they feel like."

"Tch. You definitely need to go out with us and have a drink. Act your age instead of, like, some 60-year-old Scrooge."

"I hope that's not the best advice you've ever given or otherwise I feel sorry for all of those people coming to you for help."

"I'll have you know that most people actually appreciate me, bastard, and those friends comin' tomorrow are people who became my friends after we met through church or when they needed someone to talk to."

"Maybe I should go," he muttered before they entered the dining room. "I'd like to see the desperate losers who don't know any better than to befriend an idiot like yourself. That could definitely make my situation seem better."

* * *

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant. It helped that his mother, the pastor, and Naruto dominated most of the conversation. Sasuke, as usual, was happy to sit back and watch as he pushed his food around on the plate. His father was a very stoic sort of person, so he only interjected when he felt as though he had something to add to the discussion. There was quite a bit of talk about upcoming church events and a lot of his mother catching Minato up on a considerable amount of town gossip.

But, by then, Sasuke didn't think he could sit any more so he offered to clear the dishes from the table. Naruto immediately volunteered to help, but even as they brought everything into the kitchen, they could still hear his mother going on about this or that. It probably hadn't helped that she'd had a fair amount of wine.

"I apologize for my mother," Sasuke said as he began scraping the plates and setting them on the counter to be rinsed. "By the end of the night, you should know the entire town's history."

"It's fine." Naruto picked up the plates as Sasuke set them down and started to rinse them off. "You have some dish soap somewhere? Under the sink maybe?" He searched through the cabinets without waiting for a response and, finding a new bottle of Dawn, started filling the sink.

"We can put some of those in the dishwasher," Sasuke told him.

"I know, but I'll wash the stemware and the nice plates. I like to be helpful. Plus, you didn't seem like you were enjoyin' yourself so much?"

"I don't keep up with all of the local gossip. Only my mom knows whose teenage daughter got pregnant and who's had an affair with whom."

"Aw, c'mon. We didn't even get to that part. Maybe if I knew which family had easy teenage girls I could totally play up my role as pastor's son."

Sasuke, looking up, accidentally dropped a spoon on the floor.

Naruto laughed at him. "I was totally kiddin'."

"You certainly wouldn't be the first child molester in the history of the church, that's for sure."

"Yeah, I... can't say I can argue with you on that," Naruto replied quietly.

Sasuke gave him a glance. It would figure Naruto didn't feel too comfortable about that topic, but it was true, wasn't it? He went to fetch a towel and rag from one of the drawers.

"I'll dry if you're going to wash." He threw the rag at Naruto.

"Sure."

As Naruto washed, he hummed a variety of Christmas songs without finishing a single one to the end. Eventually, he turned to Sasuke. "Have you thought more about hangin' out tomorrow?"

"Not especially." He took a stack of plates and put them in the cabinet.

"None of us are from a small town, so you might enjoy it."

"Why do you keep pushing me to go out? What are you, trying to set me up with someone?"

Naruto's mouth opened and then closed, indicating that Sasuke was correct even if he'd actually been joking.

"I wasn't necessarily gonna set you up with him, but - "

"No, absolutely not."

Naruto grabbed his arm as Sasuke started to put some space between them. His hand was still wet and a few soap bubbles ended up on his sleeve.

"I didn't mean to say I want to set you up, just that you'll be among, well. Let's just say I have a lot of gay friends. I've always had a lot of gay friends." Naruto let go of him and scratched the back of his neck. "I guess I wanted you to know that you could feel comfortable bein' yourself, and, if we're goin' out of town anyway, why not let go of all your hang-ups for just one night?"

"If my parents weren't in the next room, Naruto, I swear I'd punch you," he threatened. "Do you think because I'm..." He glanced toward the kitchen doorway just in case one of his parents might come in to see what they were up to, "That doesn't mean all I need is to be around," Sasuke lowered his voice, "Someone else who's gay. That's... it's not even on my mind to date."

"Really? You coulda fooled me," Naruto also lowered his voice. "From the way you attacked me when I was asleep, I figured you were - "

"Attacked?" Sasuke asked incredulously after having just picked up a steak knife, which he then pointed at him. "You should be so lucky. If you think I did that because I have any interest in you that way - "

"Then why?" Naruto cut him off as he narrowed his eyes at the knife.

"I - ," he started to say and stopped, shaking his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Tch. That's your default for everything. The truth is, you don't really have a reason not to come. You're just afraid."

"Afraid?" He tossed the knife into the water before he did something he'd regret. "What the hell is it you think I'm afraid of?"

"Oh, I dunno." Naruto threw his hands in the air. "Letting go, maybe? You're so uptight and paranoid! If you trusted a single person I think I'd drop dead from astonishment."

Sasuke, taking a step forward, forced Naruto against the counter. "What do you know, huh? You know I can't drop my guard. I told you I hate it here, what my life has been like. The only peace I've had is when I'm alone at school."

"Yeah, so you were able to trust some guys at school. Why not trust me?"

"Oh, let's see," he started raising his voice. "You're no more than a stranger to me for one? And, two, you're the son of a pastor for God's sake!"

Naruto looked as though he was set to argue when they heard someone coming into the kitchen. It was Sasuke's father, who glanced from him to Naruto, appearing rather curious.

"Everything alright in here?" He asked them.

"Fine, father," Sasuke replied quickly. "I just... cut myself doing dishes, that's all."

"It's not like you to be clumsy, Sasuke." He approached the two of them. "You should take care of that before it gets infected. Your mother's ready for us to bring in the dessert. I'll help Naruto with the rest of the dishes."

Sasuke spared Naruto a quick glance before leaving his father alone with him. He went upstairs and into the bathroom. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did being around Naruto make him crazy like this? It's not that he was afraid... at least not really of Naruto opening his big mouth. If he was going to do that, he would've done it by now. He'd had plenty of opportunities. While gripping the sink, Sasuke noticed a few bubbles on his sleeve and wiped them away. A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door. He opened it, thinking it would be his father, but it was Naruto.

"I've come to check on your finger," Naruto stated, grabbing the door and opening it more - as if he thought Sasuke would shut it in his face.

"Did you come to make fun of me?"

"Huh? No. I came to tell you we're waitin' on you to start dessert. Your mom said you don't like cake much, so she always makes a apple pie, instead."

"I haven't liked that since I was little," Sasuke said and, backing up against the sink, used his arms to brace his weight as he leaned on it. "I swear she thinks I'm still a little kid."

"Ah, well. I can't say much about that." Naruto leaned on the doorframe. "I only wish my mom was around to still treat me like a kid."

Sasuke bit his lip. "Sorry. I didn't even think - "

Naruto held up a hand. "It's okay. I only pull out the 'dead mom' card on special occasions."

"Like Christmas?" He asked.

"Yeah. You can make it up to me, though."

"Oh, how's that?"

"Seriously, think about tomorrow. I'm not matchmaking, Sasuke, I just want you to come."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the innuendo.

"With us, I mean." Naruto rolled his eyes. "You've got such a dirty mind, bastard."

"I have a feeling I'm not the only one," Sasuke replied. "Maybe if I go, I can get it out of your friends what you're really like."

"If you wanted to know all that," Naruto took a step closer, near enough to make the proximity almost... uncomfortable. "You could've asked me."

"Hn. Like I'd be interested."

"If I put effort into it," Naruto tilted his head and offered him a challenging look, "I could get you to be interested."

"In you?" Sasuke scoffed. "Why bother?"

Naruto shrugged. "You never know. You could be my type."

"Idiot." Sasuke put a hand to his chest and pushed him away. "I'll think about it. If it means you'll stop nagging me."

"Nagging? I'm not nagging. Sheesh. I can't believe I actually have to beg you to hang out with me when you're such a party pooper as it is. At my last town, everyone was dying to hang out with me 'cause they all thought I was so cool."

"And where was that? Chernobyl? Because there'd have to be a population of about zero. No one thinks you're cool, Naruto."

"You just wait. I'm gonna grow on you so fast that by the time you go back to school, you'll want my number so we can text every night."

"Now you're the one who sounds like you're coming on to me."

"Shut up." Naruto scowled. "I just want you to like me. That's my only goal for now."

"Saaasuke! Naruto! We're waiting for youu!"

"Your mom's kind of drunk." Naruto smirked.

"Yeah, tell me about it." He started shoving him through the door and into the hallway. "You both have that in common."

"Hey," Naruto cried. "I'm not drunk! I had half a glass of wine."

"Sure. The first step is admitting you have a problem, you know."

"I don't have a problem!" Naruto argued and punched him in the arm. "Ass."

As they ventured down the stairs together, Sasuke caught himself smiling and was happy that Naruto was behind him and wouldn't be able to see it. Naruto was still muttering even while they walked into the dining room.

"Are you okay, Sasuke?" Minato asked. "Naruto said you cut yourself."

"Uh, it was just a scratch," he replied. "I'm fine. Sorry for making you wait."

This time, Naruto sat beside Sasuke as his mother passed around plates of pie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

"It's good, Mrs. Uchiha," Naruto praised, licking his lips. "Thanks again for havin' us. I'm gonna be full for the next few days."

"Oh, I hope not," she said. "I was going to send home some leftovers since you said you're alone in that house. If only you had a girlfriend to clean and cook for you."

"Ha, well." Naruto scratched the back of his head and shared a look with the pastor. "Even if I had one, I wouldn't make her do all that stuff. I like doin' things around the house. Just haven't had time yet."

"Naruto," said Fugaku. "I already told Sasuke that if you need any help with house projects, he should give you a hand."

Naruto caught his eye. "I doubt Sasuke wants to spend his vacation doin' stuff like that."

Sasuke cleared his throat, and after taking in his father's stern expression, felt that there was no room for argument. "I... don't mind."

"Sasuke draws, did you know that, Naruto?" Mikoto asked. "Maybe he can draw you a mural on one of your walls."

"Mom," Sasuke said, embarrassed.

"Hmm." Naruto placed an elbow on the table as he turned to him. "That could be cool. I get to do what I want since I may be buying it at the end of the lease."

"I didn't know you draw," said the pastor. "I think that's such a wonderful talent."

"Well, after hearing Naruto play the piano, I don't think I could disagree that your son is very talented, as well," Mikoto added.

Sasuke sent a glance Naruto's way as if to say: Now, do you understand my pain?

But, Naruto only smiled and shook his head.

"You could always come over tomorrow," Naruto whispered. "My friends aren't comin' until the early evening, but you're welcome if you've got nothin' better to do. I gotta clean before they get here."

He glanced at his mother, who'd returned to chatting up Naruto's father, another glass of wine in her hand.

"I suppose it might be good to get out of the house for a while," he replied.

"By the way, are you gonna eat that?" Naruto pointed his fork at Sasuke's remaining (half) piece of pie.

Sasuke pushed it toward him. "It's yours."

"Thanks," Naruto said with a grin. "You're such a nice guy."

"Shut up, idiot, and try not to choke on it."

Naruto laughed, and Sasuke smirked as the other man ate his pie with relish.

"I thought gluttony was a sin?" Sasuke teased him.

"Tch. It should also be a sin to waste awesome pie like this."


	4. Chapter 4

Since his father was going off to work and his mother invited some friends over to play cards, Sasuke decided to get out of the house for a while. It was snowing, but not hard. He walked through his neighborhood and saw several children playing. In fact, he had to dodge a poorly-aimed snowball that nearly hit him in the shoulder.

"Watch it," he growled at them and was tempted to throw one back at their faces. So what if they were only 12 years old?

After dinner last night and maybe a couple of glasses of wine, he'd agreed to go over to Naruto's house and help him clean today, which was still better than being stuck at home. Naruto's house wasn't exactly close, but he thought it would do some good to get a bit of fresh air. It took 25 minutes to walk there from his home, but when he arrived, he found Naruto bundled up and shoveling a neighbor's driveway.

Smirking, Sasuke bent over, grabbed a handful of snow, and pelted Naruto right in the back with it.

"Hey!" Naruto looked up and spotted him. "Seriously, Sasuke? How old are you?"

Sasuke approached him, one hand behind his back. "Are you already starting your Good Samaritan work for the day?"

Naruto leaned on the shovel and swiped a gloved hand across his forehead. Just as he was about to open his mouth and reply, Sasuke nailed Naruto right in the chest with the snowball he'd hidden behind him.

"Oh, that's it!"

Dropping the shovel, Naruto picked up some snow, but, taking a few steps back, Sasuke was able to easily dodge it.

"You throw like a girl, Naruto. No wonder you're single."

"Asshole, I'm tryin' to work here! Aren't you early? I wasn't expectin' you for another hour or two. In fact, I wasn't gonna be surprised if you didn't show up at all."

"I told you I'd stop by and help," he replied.

Deeming it safe, he walked up to the blond again and shoved his hands in his pockets, breathing in deeply.

"It's nice out today, isn't it?" Naruto asked, tugging at his hat.

"It is, I suppose. Do you... need any help?"

"Nah. As you can see I'm almost done. You can go wait inside if you want."

"What if I start snooping through all of your things?"

Naruto squinted at him suspiciously. "You seem like you're in a good mood today. Did somethin' good happen?"

Sasuke answered with a glare. "I'll head inside. Don't take too long. I'd like to get this over with."

"What? You just acted like - "

"I said I would in front of my father. When he comes home, he'll ask me what I did today. Be grateful. Unlike you, I know how to clean and organize."

"Tch. God, you're such a bitch, I swear. More and more you remind me of Sai. You two even kinda look alike." Naruto tilted his head. "I wonder which of you is better lookin'? I'd have to put you side by side."

"Not that again," Sasuke complained. "Stop trying to hook me up with one of your friends."

"I told you I'm not. I don't think you're his type anyway."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow. "Are you his preferred type?"

"Come out with us tonight, and you'll find out. There are girls comin', too, y'know."

"Oh. Girls, huh? Who would've thought that there are girls who'd want to hang out with you?"

Naruto grinned. "Yeah, and they're even legal."

"Hn. Are these," he shifted his weight onto his right foot, "Ex-girlfriends?"

"Like you care, right? Since when have you ever shown an interest in my personal life?"

"Have I struck a nerve?" Sasuke took a step toward him and, leaning in, gave his orange beanie a tug. "This is crooked. It was annoying me."

Naruto pouted. "You're probably just tryin' to feel me up. I've got my eye on you, Uchiha."

"Hm. Now we're on last name terms, are we? Namikaze?"

"Ah, that's - " Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "That's my dad's name."

"You go by a different name than your dad's?"

"I go by my mom's name," he mumbled. "Anyway, why don't you go inside, and I'll meet you in about ten minutes? Just try not to go through my drawers. And if the phone rings, answer it. I left it in the kitchen. My friends might need some directions. They've been drivin' since early this mornin'."

Naruto went back to shoveling, and if Sasuke didn't know any better, he'd guess that he'd brought up an unexpectedly sensitive subject. He watched him a while longer before making his way to the house. It was unlocked, so he went right in. He untied his bootlaces and set the boots next to the door so that he wouldn't track snow in everywhere. He couldn't say the place looked any cleaner than the last time he was here, but he did see that Naruto had gathered some cleaning products and set them on the fireplace mantle. There was also a mop, bucket, and a vacuum next to the kitchen doorway.

Rather than wait on Naruto, he figured he could go ahead and start cleaning the floors at least, and then he could think about dusting and vacuuming. Not much could be done about the boxes since they were unmarked, and he had no intention of unpacking Naruto's belongings. He hung his jacket in the closet and went to pick up the bucket, which he filled in the kitchen sink. There, he spotted Naruto's phone on the counter and pushed it out of the way so that it wouldn't get wet. However, as he was moving it, it went off. The ringtone was some obnoxious rap song that nearly split his ear drum.

The Caller ID showed that it was Sai.

Sasuke debated not answering, but he also didn't want to be the reason for Naruto's friends getting lost or into a car accident because they didn't know where the hell they were going.

He decided to answer it. "Hello?"

"Who's this?"

"Naruto's out doing an errand right now. He said to pick up the phone if anyone called."

"Really?" The male on the other line sounded amused. "That makes me a little jealous. Are you in his house now?"

"I'm in his kitchen," Sasuke grit out. "Do you need directions or not?"

"Directions? Why would I need directions? We have GPS on our phone."

Sasuke had to fight not to click the end call button. "So, why did you call then?"

"Listen, we're - " There were voices in the background, but Sai told them to shut up for a second because he was talking to Naruto's new friend, which led to more loud chatter in the background.

"I'm hanging up now," Sasuke warned him.

"Oh, you're a pleasant one," Sai replied. "Tell Naruto we're about three hours away. We're stopping for lunch at the next exit, though."

" _Great_. I'll be sure to let him know."

"Before you hang up, do you have a name?"

"I'm not obligated to tell you that," he said.

Sai laughed. "Alright then. Tell Naruto we'll be there shortly." He hung up.

Sasuke glared at the phone and placed it back on the counter.

"And Naruto really thought I'd like that guy?" He shook his head.

"Sasuke, I'm done!" He heard Naruto shout from the living room. Seconds later, he appeared in the doorway, still with his jacket and hat and gloves on. "Did Sai call?"

"You just missed him." Sasuke sneered. "He said to tell you they're three hours away."

"Ah, okay. Are they gonna stop for lunch somewhere?"

"He said that they were about to."

"Did he..." Naruto started to grin, "Say anything weird to you?"

"Everything he said was weird. What kind of friends do you have exactly?"

Naruto laughed. "The best kind. Sai's socially awkward, but he only says the shit he does to get a rise out of people. He thinks it's funny. Anyway, I'm gonna make some tea. Do you want some?"

Sasuke glanced at the stove. "Do you even have a kettle?"

"Hm. There's one around here somewhere." Naruto disappeared, and Sasuke went to lean against the doorframe, watching him as he started rifling through a few boxes and unwrapping newspaper from various items until he found a glossy red teakettle. "Here. I knew it was around somewhere."

"I'll take it." Sasuke grabbed it from him. "Take off your coat. You're getting snow everywhere."

"Bossy," said Naruto, but he did as Sasuke told him and left to put his coat in the closet.

"I'll start with the floors. So if you want to start unpacking things. I don't know where you want all of your stuff. Then we can get rid of some of these boxes."

"Gosh. I guess I picked the right person to help me clean, huh? You're takin' this pretty seriously."

"I'm not sure how you think you can have company over when your place looks like this." He walked back into the kitchen to fill the kettle and place it on the gas stove.

Naruto reappeared in the doorway. "Funny. You didn't seem to have a problem with it when you spent the night."

"Are you still going on about that? I've totally wiped it from my memory."

"You're such a bastard, y'know that?"

Sasuke glared at him over his shoulder. "Where's your tea?"

For a brief moment, he became distracted by the way the blue of Naruto's shirt matched the striking shade of blue in his eyes.

"I'll show you." Naruto came over, and, leaning in front of him, opened one of the cabinets to pull out a tin that held a variety of different tea flavors. He set it on the counter. "There ya go. Pick whichever one you want. I think there's some English Breakfast, Chamomile, Green tea, some fruity stuff that a lady at church gave me, and yeah."

He was still pressed up against Sasuke's side when he finally finished rambling.

"What?" Naruto asked. "You don't like any of those?"

"No. It's that you're standing on top of me."

"Oh?" Naruto frowned. "Sorry." He moved to the counter on the other side of the stove. "What was your mom doin' today?"

"Playing cards, I think."

"Ah, okay. I think dad mentioned somethin' about stoppin' by, too. I mean, to bring your mom some token of thanks for havin' us over last night."

Sasuke eyed him for a while until Naruto started twitching under his gaze.

"You're makin' me all self-conscious," Naruto told him. "What's up with you today?"

"You're being paranoid."

"Am I? I dunno. So, I'll do some unpacking, and you really wanna clean the floors?"

"Sure, just make yourself available when I need to move the furniture."

"Alright, can do. Think we can have this place lookin' decent before everyone gets here?"

"With any luck," Sasuke replied, sliding a hand into the pocket of his jeans.

"You know," Naruto said, crossing his arms against his stomach. "For helpin' me out, I'd be happy to buy you dinner tonight. And drinks."

"Naruto - "

"I promise I'll make sure Sai is on his best behavior. I won't let him hit on you if you don't want him to."

"I'm sure I could take care of myself," he said. "You better make it clear to him that I am not interested. Did you even tell him about me?"

"No, of course not! Are you kiddin'? He would've been so annoying if I'd told him about - " Naruto stopped to clear his throat. "Er. Yeah, so I haven't had time to talk to him or any other friends lately. I mean, I wasn't even sure if you and I were gonna be able to get along, so - "

Sasuke lifted a brow.

"God, you make things so difficult!" Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Fine, I'll go."

"Wait, what?" Naruto dropped his arm to the side.

"I said, 'I'll go'."

"Really?" Naruto graced him with a broad smile. "Cool."

"Now that that's out of the way," he said, "Can we start cleaning up your stupid house?"

"Yeah, yeah, we can. And, it's not a stupid house!"

"Yes, yes, of course," he said, grinning at Naruto. "The only one who's stupid is the owner, I suppose."

"Hey!"

"Naruto, clean. Now. Unpack your shit, and I'll bring you your tea when it's ready."

"Tch, fine. I'm goin'. Bossy ass."

Sasuke smirked as the other man stomped out of the kitchen. Messing with Naruto had become one of his favorite pastimes lately. He sighed as he started searching through the drawers for some rags. He finally found a couple and tossed them by the bucket.

It's not that he really wanted to go out tonight, especially after talking to Sai on the phone, but the idea of getting out of town was appealing. Not to mention it sounded like there would be other people. Sasuke did always seem to get along well with women. Although, he remained curious if any of them were exes of Naruto's, or if they were just friends. He could tolerate Naruto well enough, and the idea of spending the night alone with his mother, who, lately, did nothing but gush about the pastor, sounded kind of awful.

When the kettle started to whistle, Sasuke removed it from the burner and filled two mugs. He wasn't sure how Naruto took his, so he called to him to see how he liked it. Naruto answered with "at least half a cup of sugar."

Sasuke put in a couple small spoonfuls into Naruto's English Breakfast. He, on the other hand, had chosen to make Green tea. It wasn't his favorite brand, but it was good enough. Naruto's house was a little chilly, so the mug felt nice and warm in his hands.

He brought Naruto his and found him in the bedroom, taking out some odds and ends and few bags of clothing.

"I have too much stuff," Naruto mumbled.

"You should donate some of it," he suggested.

"I will. I just gotta to through it all. I hate having so many things."

"First-world problems."

Naruto chuckled as he pulled out some framed photos that he kept studying intently. Sasuke was curious but decided not to ask about them as Naruto, gently, placed them on his bed.

"Well," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Now that you have your tea and I see you're working diligently, I'll start with the cleaning."

"Sounds good," Naruto replied, but appeared distracted.

Sasuke lingered a little longer before he, eventually, left the bedroom and decided to get to work. Three hours wasn't a lot of time, even if he was a master of cleaning and organization.

* * *

Once they were finished cleaning (to the point even Sasuke was satisfied with their progress), he decided to go home, have a shower, and get dressed. He expected to see his mother at home, but she'd apparently gone out for the afternoon. Naruto didn't have any food in his fridge, so Sasuke made a pork sandwich using last night's leftovers. After he finished eating, he went upstairs and checked his phone. He had a couple of texts, but nothing worth even responding to. Most of his clothes were at school, so he didn't have a whole lot to choose from. His philosophy was: when in doubt, choose black. So he put on a pair of black jeans, black boots, a thinner black shirt with a low collar and a casual black jacket. He debated taking off his necklace in case it got lost but he didn't look quite right in the mirror without it.

By this time, Naruto's friends should've arrived. Naruto said they'd come pick him up when they were ready, and that probably wouldn't be for another hour. Sasuke decided to take advantage of having the house to himself - hell, he even considered masturbating - but, in the end, it would've been too much trouble. He didn't need Naruto or one of his weirdo friends barging inside his home. He was sure he locked it, but, even so, that seemed the sort of thing Naruto might try.

In the meantime, he figured he'd stretch out across the bed and maybe take a nap, but it didn't seem like he'd be able to fall asleep. He kept wondering whether or not he'd made the right decision in agreeing to go out tonight. Even if it ended up being boring, it was better than staying home. He supposed he was in the mood for some drama anyway. Not that he would've admitted that, but a little dysfunction could always help take his mind off of things.

Still, he shut his eyes, his fingers finding their way to the chain at his neck. He didn't really have close friends anymore. In a way, he might've been envious that Naruto had people willing to drive a half a day just to visit him and hang out for a couple of days. If Gaara was alive, would they have remained friends? Would they have ended up going to the same college together? Would they be in a relationship? How much would've turned out differently?

Gaara would make fun of him, he was sure, for going tonight. In high school, Sasuke had never been one for parties or socializing. Gaara wasn't really that type either, but it had less to do with hating people in general and more to do with the level of apathy he'd directed at most things in life. He didn't give a shit about what people thought, what the latest trends were, and Sasuke liked that about him. Sasuke still didn't care about those things either, but... it was a lot easier to be content when you had a partner in crime. Nowadays, it got... lonely. Even for Sasuke who enjoyed being alone. He could always rationalize that going out, getting drunk, and fucking with Naruto's friends might end up being pretty amusing. If he pissed Naruto off, then the blond wouldn't have anyone else to blame but himself since Sasuke'd said several times that he didn't want to go.

He took in a deep breath, held it, and let it out again.

It sucked feeling like you wanted to see someone so bad and there was no possible way to ever be able to see them again, to talk to them, to have them reply to you, or even know how they're doing. He entertained the idea that Gaara may very well be around somewhere right now. He did at least believe in an afterlife. If Gaara was watching him, what would he say? Would he be disappointed? Would he... think it was weird that Sasuke had enjoyed hanging out with Naruto today?

"Hmm..." Sasuke rubbed his lips together and settled his clasped hands on his stomach. "If you are there," he said, "Just... make sure I don't try to kill any of Naruto's friends tonight. No matter how annoying they are."

* * *

 _Four years ago_

Sasuke was just finishing talking to one of his teachers when he went to his locker to get his backpack. He had an anatomy test tomorrow, so he stuffed the large textbook into his bag before checking his watch. It was the end of the day, and Gaara was probably waiting for him in the library. On his way there, he passed a couple of freshmen girls who giggled and waved as he walked by them.

He pushed open the library doors and glanced around. There were a handful of people at the computers. Sasuke made his way to the back where there was a quiet reading area with a few chairs. There, he found Gaara reading a book, a foot propped on a giant ottoman. He set his bag on the floor and took a seat, next to Gaara's sneaker. Sasuke peeked at the title of the book.

"You seem engrossed," he said.

Without taking his eyes off the page, Gaara nodded. "It's funny."

"Ah hah." Sasuke rubbed the back of his head and gave a quick glance around them to see if they were alone. When it seemed safe, he grabbed his boyfriend's ankle and squeezed it. "Aren't you ready to go home?"

"Not really."

"We could... go out."

"And do what?" Gaara flipped another page.

"Dinner? See a movie?"

Slowly, Gaara looked up at him. "Are you asking me on a date?"

Sasuke felt himself blush. "If you don't want to, just say so."

"Hm." Gaara clapped the book shut. "If you want to go out, why don't you just say so, Sasuke?"

"Fine," he said, though his gaze dropped to the ugly rust-colored carpeting. "Let's... go out. You don't want to go home, and I don't want to go home either."

"Why? Are your parents fighting again?" Gaara asked.

Sasuke sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. So let's don't. Where is it you want to go?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't care." He extended his legs out, stretching them and crossing them at the ankles. "I wish one of us had a license. We could go out of town."

"Maybe I'll think about getting mine then," Gaara said and removed his feet from the ottoman.

Sasuke looked over at him, something passing between them. He felt anxious for some reason.

"What's wrong?" Gaara asked.

Sasuke shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Liar," Gaara replied with a smirk. "I'll buy. You choose where, and I'll follow."

"How very romantic of you," he said dryly.

"I know you secretly like that about me." Gaara got to his feet. He picked up Sasuke's bag for him and held it out.

Sasuke took it, standing up, as well. "I think I want... shrimp."

"Shrimp?" Gaara asked and placed a hand to his lower back - very briefly - as they weaved their way through the winding rows of bookshelves. "That's unusual for you. I thought you weren't a big fan of seafood."

"I figured since you're paying..." Sasuke trailed off, smiling at his boyfriend as he held the door open for him.

"I see how it is. You're such a mooch, Uchiha."

"Hn. Isn't it your job to take care of me?"

"It is," said Gaara. "You're absolutely right."

* * *

Sasuke was startled awake by the doorbell. It kept ringing repeatedly, and for a dazed minute or two, he wondered why his mother wasn't answering the door until he remembered she wasn't home.

"Dammit, idiot, stop ringing the fucking bell," he muttered as he got up, straightened out his clothes and stepped foot in the bathroom to give himself a once over. He fixed his hair and then headed downstairs.

He opened the door to three smiling faces and one suspicious glare.

"Sasuke!" Naruto said and looked him up and down. "Wow, you're gonna put us all to shame. Hey, these are my friends. This is Ino," he pointed out a very bubbly blonde woman with bright red lipstick, "This is my cousin, Karin," he pointed at the pretty red-head wearing glasses, "And this," Naruto threw an arm around the dark-haired man in jeans and a leather jacket, "This is Sai."

"He's the one I talked to on the phone?" Sai asked while staring at Sasuke.

Naruto gave his friend a playful shove. "What did I tell you? You play nice tonight, or I'm gonna beat you when we get back to my place."

"Is that supposed to be a threat or reward?" Sai asked.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Are you ready?"

"Sure," Sasuke replied hesitantly, "Let me just... get a coat."

"Alright, cool. We'll wait here."

Sasuke only shut the screen door, and on his way up to grab his jacket, he could hear all of them talking excitedly, and, it did seem that some of the conversation was about him, though he chose to ignore it. Opening the closet, he grabbed for something heavier than his current jacket and also a scarf his mother bought him for Christmas. When he returned, the group was waiting on the porch. He noticed that Naruto and Sai were standing close. Sai had his arm around Naruto's waist, but he also had his other arm around Ino.

Sasuke cleared his throat once he opened the door. "Who's driving exactly?"

"Ah, I'll drive," said Naruto. "We're takin' Karin's car, though."

"Shotgun," Sai declared. "The ladies can sit in the back." He looked pointedly at Sasuke.

Sasuke glared, but Naruto was quick to smack him in the back of the head.

"You sit in the back, Sai. Sasuke probably knows where to go better than the rest of us, so I need him to be my navigator."

"I see how it is," Sai complained, sounding mock-hurt. "Is he your new favorite?"

"He's gonna be if you keep actin' like a brat." Naruto gave him a push and walked ahead of them to the car, the two chatty girls on either side of him.

Sasuke was left alone with Sai.

"So, how did you and Naruto meet?" Sai asked casually.

"I ran into him when he was trying to move some heavy furniture into the church and needed help. How did you meet him?"

"He didn't tell you?"

Sasuke gave him a blank look.

"He tried to get me to go to his church, but it's not really my thing."

"Oh?"

"Luckily, I found him to be pretty wild for a pastor's son."

"Is that so?"

"I was surprised how much he likes to party."

"There aren't a lot of places to party around here, I'm afraid," Sasuke replied.

"I think that's the point," Sai said and stopped walking.

Out of mild interest, Sasuke stopped, too, and glanced at him curiously. "What is it?"

Sai ran a hand through his hair before sending a look in Naruto's direction. Naruto was leaning against the hood of the car, arguing with Karin as Ino jumped onto his back and threw her arms around his neck.

"I guess he hasn't told you much about anything," Sai said under his breath. "Makes me feel better to know that. I thought maybe he was confiding all kinds of things to you already since he said you helped him clean the house. But... apparently that's not the case." He smiled strangely at Sasuke for a second before walking toward the car without him. "Naruto, carry me on your back, too?"

"You asshole, you'll break it if I try to carry you!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke blinked several times at the rest of them, wondering what he was missing here. It was obvious Sai seemed threatened by him, but what exactly was he thinking his relationship to Naruto was? It occurred to him that he hadn't asked much about Naruto, not even why he and his father had decided to move here. Naruto certainly never volunteered much personal information. Nothing other than having lost his mother and that he, for some reason, had taken her name instead of his dad's. But he'd never been one to pry, and it wasn't as if he and Naruto were close.

Frowning, he approached the car. Ino, Karin, and Sai were all shoving into the backseat. Naruto was waiting by the passenger door, which he opened for Sasuke.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing," he immediately replied.

"They're all okay, right? Pretty normal? Karin already has a thing for you. Just to warn you."

"Well," said Sasuke, "I think Sai has a thing for you."

"Sai's very protective of me, but he seems interested in you. Did you two... have a good conversation just now?"

"I hope you're not still trying to set me up."

"You don't think he's good looking?" Naruto asked, tilting his head in an inquiring manner.

"Looks aren't everything."

"Hm, well. It might make me jealous to set the two of you up anyway, so do what you want."

"Jealous?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Of me, or of him?"

Naruto laughed. "You're funny." He punched Sasuke in the arm. "Now get in already, we've got reservations at some swanky place, and with all this snow, it's gonna take longer than expected."

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" He asked, holding onto the door.

"Nah. I'm a good driver. I want you to just relax and get to know everybody while we're drivin'."

"I'm not so sure those things are mutually inclusive."

"Heh. You can do this, Sasuke. Plus, I'm buyin' your dinner and drinks tonight."

"Like a date, eh?" Sasuke asked quiet enough that no one else would hear as he got into his seat and tried to ignore the squeals going on behind him.

"You wish. I'll have you know, I make a great date."

"Should I ask Sai about that?"

"Ask me what?" Sai leaned in between the front seats.

"Nothin'." Naruto waved at him. "Just tellin' Sasuke you're not as big a bastard as you come off sometimes."

"That's totally untrue," Sai said, leaning further into his personal space despite Sasuke glaring at him for it. "I am a bastard, but somehow Naruto's managed to put up with me all of these years."

"It's true," cried Karin. "He's been a bastard as long as we've known him, right, Ino?"

"Oh my God, yes! But he's so fun to go out with. He'll grow on you, Sasuke, don't worry!"

"Funny," he said. "I think Naruto said something very similar to me when we met."

Naruto opened the driver's side door, got in, and put on his seat belt. "Everyone have their seatbelts on?"

"Yes!" cried the girls "No!" Sai replied.

"Good, then you can be the first to go out the windshield if we wreck," Naruto told him, spying the dark-haired boy in the rearview mirror.

"Wouldn't _that_ be terrible," said Sasuke.

Naruto clucked his tongue in disapproval, even wagging a finger at him. "Now, now, Sasuke. It's Christmas."

"Christmas was yesterday, Naruto."

Naruto shrugged as he turned on the headlights. "It's the Christmas season. You should try to be nice year-round, not just one day a year."

"Maybe we don't know each other that well, after all," Sasuke mumbled.

"What was that?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing. Let me know if you need help with directions."

"Ah, okay, sure. I will, thanks."

He would've been content to simply sit there in quiet for the rest of the drive, but, unfortunately, he was barraged with continuous questions from the pests in the back. Even when he responded curtly and with brevity, that didn't seem to deter a single one of the three. Naruto, for the most part, kept relatively quiet, which surprised him. He appeared to be listening, though. That, or maybe he was extremely serious about driving safely. The roads weren't bad, but they weren't great either.

Even though being interrogated was a bit of a nuisance, at least it made the time go by quickly. Because, before he knew it, they were already in the next town.

* * *

They ended up at some moderately expensive steakhouse. Maybe out of foresight, the hostess had made the right decision in sticking them in a back corner at a round table. Sasuke was sitting at Naruto's right, but he also, unfortunately, got stuck next to Karin who'd been monopolizing his attention thus far about inane topics. Of course, he didn't reveal that much about himself even after being questioned, so she did most of the talking. There were the rare reprieves where Naruto might turn to him to make a comment or ask a question. He thought, once or twice, Naruto attempted on his behalf to redirect Karin's attention, but the plan ultimately failed. Sasuke's solution was to keep drinking when he wasn't much of a drinker.

He noticed, though, that Naruto and Sai found it easy to constantly come up with conversation. He listened in sometimes, but it was hard to hear. From what he could gauge, the two were close and, being a gay man himself, his curiosity had been piqued even further about the relationship between them. Sometimes Sai would touch Naruto while he asked him a question and, once, Sai reached across to brush Naruto's hair out of the way.

Ino had just left to go to the bathroom, but as soon as she sat down, it seemed a good time for Sasuke to escape, too. Unfortunately, almost as soon as he walked into the restroom, Sai came in behind him before he even had a chance to make it to the urinal. He gave Sai a curious look.

"What?" asked Sai. "I've had a lot of water."

"Mm."

Sai started to undo his belt and take care of his business; not one to be intimidated, Sasuke did the same, even though he was able to feel the other man's eyes on him.

"You and Naruto seem close," commented Sasuke.

"We are."

He sighed, wanting to wrap this up quickly. He zipped up and headed for the sink, but Sai was right behind him again, eyeing Sasuke in the mirror while he washed his hands.

"I'm sure you've noticed," said Sai, "That I don't like to mince words."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asked.

"Are you interested in Naruto or what?"

"Excuse me?"

Sai finished washing his hands and went over to the paper towel dispenser. "Are you," he repeated. "Interested in Naruto? You're gay, right?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

Sai smirked. "No need to look so angry. I could tell from the instant I met you. Actually, I think I had a feeling even before that, when Naruto was talking about you after we arrived at his house."

"I'm not sure how that makes any sense. But, so what if I am?"

"Interested in Naruto?" Sai asked slyly and took a step toward him.

"Gay," he replied coldly.

"Well, I know you're gay, but I was trying to discern your interest in my friend."

"Friend?"

Sai hummed at the question as he took another step closer and braced a hand next to the mirror, making it difficult for Sasuke to walk out.

"Is that all the two of you are?" He asked.

Slowly, a smile spread across Sai's face. "And if there was more between us than friendship?"

"I wouldn't particularly care."

"I see. Good to know."

Just when he thought this conversation was over, Sai grabbed him by the front of his shirt and kissed him. He was so surprised at first that it took until Sai had him up against the wall before he pushed the other man away.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He glared, but it didn't seem to faze Sai in the slightest.

He approached Sasuke again, flipping his hair out of the way with a toss of his head, and, putting a hand to Sasuke's chest again, pressed in slowly.

It was hard to say, then, why Sasuke didn't punch him in the face or why he didn't simply walk out, but the instant Sai touched him with the obvious intent to kiss him, he felt a pang of longing. For physical contact.

Sai's hand started to move, up to the back of Sasuke's neck, where the other man then pulled him in, deepening their kiss until he was nearly sitting on top of the edge of the sink. He didn't touch, but he let Sai do the touching, at least until the restroom door opened -

Naruto stopped when he saw them. "Oh. Sorry, guys. I, uh. I'll leave you two alone then." He waved his hand at them in apology and let the door close.

"Shit," he murmured as he pushed Sai off.

"What? You seemed to be enjoying yourself just fine." Sai placed a hand at the side of Sasuke's waist. "He doesn't care."

Sasuke smacked his hand away. "I do." He narrowed his eyes. "You're not my type."

"Huh? I bet if he wouldn't have walked in, you would've let me fuck you right here."

"You're disgusting." Sasuke pushed him out of the way and left the restroom, a light flush to his cheeks.

As non-chalantly as he could, he sat down at the table and, much to his extreme annoyance, Naruto turned to him with a raise of an eyebrow.

"Sorry," he whispered to Sasuke. "I thought you weren't interested. Otherwise I would've used the women's restroom or somethin'."

"It's the alcohol," he replied. "I had a serious lapse in judgment."

"Huh?"

He only shook his head, and by then, Sai returned to the table, picking up a totally new conversation with Naruto as if nothing had happened. Naruto did spare him one more glance but Sasuke was too busy swallowing the rest of his drink to bother. He was trying to figure out what the hell had been going on in his head. He didn't have a problem with casual sex, but he would prefer to be interested somewhat in the person first. Frankly, Sai repulsed him. To a lot of gay men, he would've been exceptionally attractive, but he wouldn't be Sasuke's preferred physical type at all.

Also, what he couldn't figure out was - Sai was clearly flirting with Naruto. He was protective of Naruto. So, why the hell had Sai come on to _him_?

"Sasuke, do you want another drink?" Karin asked suddenly, oblivious to his growing foul mood. "I'll totally buy."

He glared at her but didn't bother to shake her off. "Sure."

She didn't wait for their waitress to return and, instead, ran off to find her.

After what Sai said about knowing, he'd wondered if Naruto told him, but he clearly hadn't informed Karin.

Odd, though. That for the rest of the time they were there, Naruto ceased to include Sasuke in any conversation after that, but maybe it was difficult for the blond, given that by the time they left more than an hour later, he was noticeably drunk.

Sai was the only one who hadn't been drinking, so after he volunteered to drive them home, Sasuke spied the way he freely put his arm around Naruto, first his shoulders, and then his waist as they all walked to the car. And not a single time did Naruto push him away.

In fact, he started to feel a rising jealousy. Not because of Sai... and it's not as if he had feelings for Naruto, but there was a sense of betrayal almost. What had Naruto not told him? Why was he so comfortable with Sai's behavior - because they were both that close as friends that it didn't bother him?

Following behind them, he almost yearned for that closeness, which, in retrospect, might have accounted for why he let Sai kiss him.

He shook his head of it, feeling dizzy, and when Karin and Ino grabbed either of his arms, he didn't protest. Luckily, Ino sat in the middle as they shuffled into the backseat, so he wasn't forced to put up with Karin being on top of him. He hadn't spoken much to Ino tonight, but from what he observed, she was funny, loud, confident, and very pretty. He probably could've grown to like her. He had a few girlfriends at college who were a lot like Ino. She teased Naruto a lot, but she bantered just as easily with Sai, too.

Maybe it was just that he'd never had such a close group of friends like this. It made him almost uncomfortable to be a part of it.

While he was looking out the window, he heard Ino give a yawn and then felt her lean her head against his shoulder.

He didn't know why he let it go, but he did.

Naruto turned up the radio, drunkenly singing along as he continued to talk to Sai about random, useless things.

It made him feel... so lonely.

Too bad the hour-long drive would give him too much time to sober up when what he could really use was another drink.


	5. Chapter 5

The drive for Sasuke was somber, and when they arrived at Naruto's house, everyone piled out of the car with exuberance… except him. He hung behind and considered walking all the way to his house despite the biting temperatures and threat of sleet. But, before Naruto went inside, he stopped on the porch and turned back.

"Sasuke? You're comin' inside, right?"

Sasuke stuck his hands in the pockets of his coat. "I was thinking about walking home actually."

Naruto stood there for a few seconds and then, coming back down the porch steps, headed toward him, Sasuke eyeing him warily.

"Why don't you hang out with us? We're probably gonna drink some more, play cards, or watch a movie." He shrugged. "Pretty harmless stuff."

"I'm not sure I fit in with your group of friends, Naruto."

Naruto laughed, apparently thinking he was kidding.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke asked angrily.

"Um, from the looks of it, you and Sai were gettin' along just fine." Naruto cocked his head. "Don't you think?"

"Fine, I'm walking."

"No you're not," Naruto said and grabbed his wrist. "If anything, I'll have Sai drive you home."

"I don't _want_ him to drive me home," he snapped.

"Okay," Naruto replied calmly, still holding onto him. "What _do_ you want?"

Sasuke let out a sigh and glanced at Naruto's hand. "I don't know."

"Then stay."

"Do you really care whether I stay or not? You seem perfectly happy to be with your friends. Don't keep me around to be polite."

"Jesus, Sasuke." Naruto started dragging him toward the house again. "You are such a needy bastard. I'm not gonna beg you to stay, but I was certainly expectin' you to. I promise to pay you more attention this time around - "

Sasuke immediately snatched his hand away. "I don't need your attention."

Naruto, looking stunned, raised an eyebrow at his tone. "Okay...sorry. I know you don't. I don't get why you're mad, though."

Sasuke didn't know why he was mad either other than he just felt... tired and sad and cold and like he didn't belong here. Like he wasn't needed and Naruto was only keeping him around because he felt bad for him.

"Hey, what the hell are you two doing?" Sai appeared on the porch.

"Go away, Sai," said Naruto, his back to his friend. "Sasuke and I are talkin'. We'll be in in a second, alright?"

"No need to get your panties in a twist," Sai shot back before going inside.

Naruto scratched his head, looked off to his left, and sighed. "What is it you want me to say?"

"Nothing."

"Do you really wanna go home?"

When Sasuke didn't answer, Naruto glanced his way again.

"I'll take that as a no," he murmured. "Do you... need a hug?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"What if I need a hug?" Naruto asked with a smile.

"Then why don't you go ask Sai?"

"I would, but you're too busy makin' out with him."

"...Is that a problem for you? You keep bringing it up."

Naruto dug the toe of his sneaker into the snow. "Nah. I mean, you're the one who said you weren't interested."

"I'm not. He caught me off guard is all."

"Ah, okay."

The dubious way he said that irritated Sasuke greatly.

"You're annoying," he told Naruto.

"And? Tell me somethin' I don't know."

"You're the one who acts like he's got something to hide."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." He looked away.

"Can you just... I want you to stay. I want you to hang out with my friends. I won't let Sai molest you again if I can help it... he's probably just testin' you in his own screwed up way."

"Testing me?" Sasuke asked.

"He worries about me. He's probably checkin' you out, makin' sure you aren't some sociopath or whatever."

"Hm. Why does he do that? Doesn't he think you can take care of yourself?"

Naruto shifted on his feet and placed a hand at the back of his neck. "He's always been like that, I guess. He's like a big brother in a way. Always kinda overprotective and up in my business."

"And that's... not unusual to you?" Sasuke wanted to ask if Naruto didn't suspect that Sai might be in love with him, but he thought that would be pushing it too far (even for him), and Naruto was beginning to look uncomfortable with this topic.

"He has his reasons," Naruto said. "You comin'? 'Cause I'm not lettin' you walk home, and unless you wanna call your parents, the only other sober option is Sai. Or, I call my dad, and I guarantee he's gonna lecture you or at least talk you to death on the ride there."

Sasuke scrunched his nose. "That doesn't sound appealing."

"I know, right?" Naruto grabbed his forearm. "So, c'mon. I'll make you a drink, we'll play stupid games, Karin can fawn all over you until she finally realizes you're into dudes. Although I'm not sure that would stop her. Ino likes you, too."

"Hurray."

Naruto chuckled at his sarcasm, and started pulling him along. "Ino's great. Truth be told, we went out for a few months in 10th grade."

"Did you now?" He asked, more amused than anything. "You know, you don't have to drag me. I'm not one of your Sunday School students."

"Ha! You'd be lucky to be a student of mine."

By the time they reached the porch, Naruto had let go of his arm and opened the front door for him. Sasuke stopped to look at him before going inside. He wanted... to know more. There was this feeling he had that he needed to find out more about Naruto. It was almost embarrassing that he had no idea how to go about it.

"What?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes soft and full of warmth.

"You're...strange."

Naruto snorted. "Rude much? God, asshole." He pushed Sasuke forward. "Get the fuck in the house before I beat you up."

* * *

After a couple rounds of some intense and very loud drinking game that left Sasuke far from sober, the party of five lay scattered across the floor in the living room. Sasuke was lying down with his eyes closed; nearby, Naruto and Ino sat next to each other on the rug, talking softly (Sasuke was eavesdropping but too drunk to feel embarrassed about it); and Karin was on the couch arguing about politics with Sai.

It reminded him of his freshman year at college, when a lot of them would gather in the lounge on his dorm floor and spend all night talking about all kinds of topics. Rarely did he feel the need to argue his point of view, nor did he feel the need to talk too in depth about any sort of subject (he found this exhausting), but he didn't hate listening to others talk about these things. For example, Naruto and Ino were sharing stories about high school. About people, teachers, and, then, as they continued to talk, the topics grew more heavy.

They spoke of Naruto's mother a little, but enough for him to get the sense her death had been unexpected, and there may have been issues between Naruto's mother and father at some point. When Ino began to ask Naruto more about the town, the church, and his dad, the blond's answers became more clipped until Ino gave up in favor of teasing him about when he was going to start thinking about dating.

"I'm too busy to date, Ino," Naruto answered like he was annoyed by the question. "Plus, it's not somethin' I'm really lookin' for right now."

"But won't you get lonely here? You seem kind of lonely to me, and we can't come and visit every weekend, you know."

"I know."

"Well, at least you have Sasuke to keep you company until he has to go back to school."

There was a pause. Naruto didn't respond, and then Ino said, "What?"

But, then a loud 'oof' sounded from Naruto; Sasuke cracked open an eye and looked over at the pair curiously only to find Sai practically on top of the blond man, trying to wrap his arms around him and drag him across the floor.

"Didn't you two break up five years ago?" Sai asked.

"Oh, shut up. Do you have to hog Naruto the entire time?" Ino snapped.

"If I can," Sai answered.

"Hey, guys," said Naruto, "There's enough of me to go around."

"Really?" Ino crawled across the floor to sit in front of Naruto and waited until he wrapped his arms around her and brought her in against his chest.

"Sasuke, you up?" Naruto called to him. "Wanna join us?"

"I'll pass," he said, shutting his eyes again.

"Ugh, this better not be leading up to a threesome for you guys," said Karin.

Sasuke frowned when he heard her get up from the couch and walk over to where they all were by the fireplace.

"Although, I suppose that leaves me with Sasuke," she said.

"Sasuke's barely conscious," Naruto replied.

"You're not his type anyway," Sai added dryly. "Then again, only someone desperate would consider you their type."

"Sai," Naruto scolded. "That's my cousin you're talkin' about."

Karin scoffed. "Tch. What the fuck does he know? He just wants to get in your pants anyway. I swear."

"Well, he can't so long as I'm here," Ino replied. "I am not going to be a part of a threesome that includes Sai."

Naruto chuckled at his friends, and, once more, Sasuke cracked open his eyes to glance at him. He felt a slight pang of jealousy at seeing those three cuddling affectionately on each other. Unfortunately, he caught Karin's eye.

"Aren't you the voyeur," she said to him. "Are you feeling left out?"

"Hardly. I'm nowhere near as touchy-feely as your friends there."

Naruto and Sai both snorted simultaneously.

"What?" Ino asked. "Did I miss something?"

Naruto gently swept Ino's hair off of her shoulder. "Nope."

"Ino, are you about ready to change into your pajamas?" Karin asked brusquely, apparently getting angry about being ganged up on. "Were you going to take a shower?"

"Ugh," groaned Ino. "A hot shower sounds good, but this is so comfortable."

"I should get up and find you guys some sheets and blankets for the guest room," Naruto told the two women, removing his arms from around Ino.

"Then where am I going to sleep?" asked Sai. "I'm sleeping with you?"

"Oh. It's me you wanna sleep with tonight?"

"Jealous?"

"Tch. You can sleep on the couch. Or on the floor with Sasuke."

"No," Sasuke replied loudly. "And I'm not sleeping on the floor."

"Fine, then you can sleep in the bed with me," said Naruto.

"You'd give the bed to a guy you just met, but force me to stay on the sofa?" Sai asked.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He sat up and pulled his legs underneath him.

"Sasuke could always sleep in our room," Karin suggested.

"Why don't you let Sasuke decide where he wants to sleep?" Ino told her, and - with help from Naruto - got to her feet.

Naruto threw his hands in the air. "God. The two of you can sleep in my bed if you want, I don't care. I'll sleep on the floor or sofa or with the girls."

"I'm not sleeping with him," Sasuke said, pointedly glaring at Sai.

"Okay, then we all share the bed. You, me, Sai. I'll sleep in the middle. The bed's big enough. Probably. Don't care, but I'm tired, so can you two just work it out while I go take a piss?" Naruto started to get up, but Sai kept hold of his sweater until Naruto growled at him. "I'll go find the blankets and stuff, too."

Naruto left the living room and disappeared down the hallway.

"You are such a brat," Karin hissed at Sai once Naruto was gone.

"You're just jealous," replied Sai.

"No, I'm not jealous. It's just pathetic how much you guilt him into giving you what you want."

Sasuke watched this exchange with a slightly raised eyebrow. Why did he get the impression that they were all vying for Naruto's attention tonight? If he was the kind of person to do so, he almost would've felt sorry for Naruto. It must be difficult trying to make everyone happy.

"He doesn't give in to what I want," Sai returned, a certain, bitter edge to his voice. "It's called being friends. Maybe if you had any, you'd know what it's like."

"Whatever. I don't care. I'm going to go change. You coming, Ino?"

But before Ino could even respond, Karin grabbed her by the arm and rushed her down the hallway in a huff, leaving Sasuke alone with Sai.

"Women," said Sai.

"You all seem to have a very... interesting relationship," Sasuke commented.

"We haven't seen Naruto in a while, so I suppose each of us wants his attention to some degree."

"Sounds a bit incestuous."

"I suppose you could look at it that way," Sai replied absently and picked up a beer bottle from off of the coffee table. "What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

Sai glanced at him for a moment, scrutinizing Sasuke closely before answering, "Nothing."

"If you want Naruto to yourself, just say so."

"I could say the same to you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but before he could respond, Naruto came padding down the hallway again. He had his arms crossed as he looked at the both of them expectantly.

"Please tell me I can leave the two of you alone without either of you killin' the other. Or... well... makin' out, I guess." He smiled and scratched the back of his neck. "You sure you don't want the bed to yourselves?"

"Shut up, Naruto," said Sasuke.

He got up sluggishly, a sway to his stance once he was on his feet.

"Ah, I forgot you're such a lightweight," Naruto commented. "Girls have takin' over the bathroom, so I'm gonna get their bed ready. Sasuke, if you need somethin' to wear, you know where the bedroom is. Borrow somethin' of mine."

"Trying to get rid of me?" He asked.

"What?" Naruto laughed. "You're drunk."

"Not... really." He shook his head. "Fine, yeah. Thanks."

Sasuke took a stumbling step toward the hallway, only noticing that maybe he'd had too much to drink when he needed to press his hand on the wall a few times while making his way to Naruto's room. On the way passed the bathroom, he heard the shower going and hoped they wouldn't be too long since he needed to use the toilet. Sasuke could hear Naruto and Sai in the living room - talking - but it also sounded as if they were cleaning up all of the beer bottles. He decided he'd change quickly (the alcohol giving him courage enough to go through Naruto's dresser drawers, including the ones with his underwear) and then he'd go help them.

Then again, the bed did look very inviting and the day had been especially long...

He slipped on some sweatpants and barely got one of Naruto's shirts over his head before he collapsed on the right side of the bed, too tired to even pull back the covers.

* * *

He remembered waking up once, early on, and hearing two whispering voices, hushed laughter, and the sound of the dresser drawers opening and slamming shut. He felt annoyed and probably told them both to shut up. The lights were off, so he couldn't see much except the dark outline of a body as it crawled toward him across the bed.

"You're on top of the blankets, Sasuke," Naruto whispered, pulling at him until he responded with a grunt and helped out by lifting his hips. "Thanks."

It smelled like Naruto had just come from the shower.

"Ready for me?" Sai asked.

"Sure," Naruto replied, making himself comfortable. "You got enough room, Sasuke?"

"Yes." He kept an eye cracked open. "Are you sure the three of us will fit?"

"We're about to find out," said Naruto, who suddenly got shoved into Sasuke's side as Sai wiggled his way underneath the blankets.

Naruto's body was warm against his underneath the sheets. The entire room smelled like Naruto, even the clothes Sasuke had borrowed.

"This is cozy," Sai murmured. "Sure you don't want to fool around, Naruto? You've got two attractive guys in bed with you."

"Shut up," Naruto grumbled. "Does everything have to be sexual with you?"

"Mostly, yes. What do you think, Sasuke? Should we tag team him?"

"Ignore him," Naruto said and, shuffling around, rolled onto his stomach. "I need to invest in a bigger bed."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, turning to him. "Are you planning on regularly sharing your bed with two other individuals?"

Sai snorted, but apparently Naruto didn't find it nearly as funny.

"Do I need to go stay on the sofa? 'Cause if I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself bein' groped, I'm gonna be a little annoyed."

"Please," replied Sasuke. "Don't flatter yourself. We may be gay but that doesn't mean we can't restrain ourselves around you."

"Oh, right. Just like the other night when - " Naruto blurted before realizing what he had just been about to say.

"Pardon?" Sai sat up. "What exactly happened the other night?"

"Nothing," Naruto replied quickly. "Shut up. Both of you. Or I'll leave you two alone and sleep on the sofa."

"Sasuke?" asked Sai. "This isn't the first time you've spent the night?"

Sighing, Sasuke shut his eyes and started rubbing at them. "Like that's any of your business."

"Can we drop it?" Naruto asked. "Sai, stop actin' like a jealous boyfriend, and stop tryin' to start shit with Sasuke."

"Jealous boyfriend my ass," Sai muttered, and a rustle of the sheets could be heard - Naruto let out a yelp as he was dragged over to Sai's side of the bed.

"Asshole!" cried Naruto. "Your hands are cold, and get them out of my shirt!"

"Get a room," Sasuke mumbled before turning onto his other side so that he wouldn't have to see the two of them.

"Cut it out," Naruto grumbled as he moved away from Sai and shifted closer to Sasuke again. "I'm tired, and I just wanna go to sleep."

"But you usually let me cuddle you," Sai replied in an uncomfortably low tone of voice.

"Fuck off. If I'm gonna cuddle anyone, it'll be Sasuke since he's not a dick."

"Don't even think about it," he said, pulling the blanket tighter under his chin. He didn't want to get in the middle of those two bickering at each other like an old married couple.

"Aw, c'mon." Naruto slid behind him and, underneath the sheet, put an arm around his waist. When he laughed, his breath caused the hair at the back of his neck to rise. "I don't mind. I'm a cuddler."

"Well I'm not." Sasuke tried to push him off, but Naruto gave him another squeeze before he did, finally, roll away again.

"Why are you paying attention to him?" Sai asked. "Naruto. I need your attention, too."

"Sai. I'm gonna punch you soon."

"If that's what you're into," Sai replied.

"You're practically on top of me anyway," Naruto complained.

"Practically? Would you like me to be fully on top of you?"

Did the two of them really need to flirt like this when he was right here? Maybe he should go sleep on the sofa before he woke up to the two of them moaning and breathing heavily. He didn't really think that would happen, but it's not as if he knew what the hell sort of relationship Naruto and Sai had. He just wanted to sleep. Was that too much to ask? It was cold and being underneath the covers with Naruto felt so... warm. Flashes of the first night he stayed here kept flooding his thoughts, and he found he much preferred sharing a bed when it was just the two of them. Not that he would've tried anything, and not that he was interested in Naruto... but... hm.

Eventually, Naruto and Sai stopped arguing, seemingly settling in and ready to go to sleep. He felt every shift of Naruto's body next to him. It was distracting. And appealing. He wondered if he'd consider trying anything if they really were alone. Sometimes he got the sense that Naruto was...open to...more than what one would expect from a pastor's son. At first, he'd figured it just had to do with Sai being a slobbering idiot who thought it was funny to fawn over his good looking straight friend, but now -

Then again, Naruto'd already admitted to dating Ino. So, either Naruto or Sai would've let slip if they'd ever been together, right?

Sasuke pinched his eyes closed. Why was he even thinking about this again? He was going back to school in a week. A relationship was the furthest thing from his mind. Sex. Well, that was something entirely different, but far too complicated to even consider. Naruto was off limits for more than one reason. Just because Sasuke was mildly attracted to him didn't mean he needed to act on the impulse.

"You asleep?" He heard Naruto ask so close to his ear that he nearly jumped.

"Yes," he whispered back.

Naruto hummed at first before asking, "Did you... have a good time at all tonight?"

"It had its moments."

"Ass. Fine. Well, goodnight."

"...Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for... including me."

"No problem. I like you. I'm happy you spent the night with us. Plus." Naruto snickered. "You make the bed really warm. It's fuckin' freezing."

"Glad I can be of some service. I'll try not to take your clothes off this time."

"I'm more worried about Sai than I am you."

"About that...," he started to say.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing," he said. It really wasn't any of his business no matter how it nagged at him. "Nevermind."

"Hey, some of us are trying to get some beauty rest so would you mind cutting back on the pillow talk?" Sai asked, voice gruff and carrying a hint of annoyance that left Sasuke smirking.

"Jealous?" Sasuke asked.

"Fuck off," Sai replied.

Naruto moaned. "I know this should be flattering, but yeah. Now it's just gettin' uncomfortable."

"I'm going to sleep," Sasuke grunted and gave the blankets a sharp tug.

Naruto chuckled again. "Bastards, the both of you. So cute, though. You really would make an adorable couple."

"Shut up, Naruto," he and Sai said at the same time.

"Fine. I'm goin' to sleep then. I apologize if I step on anyone when I have to get up to pee in the middle of the night."

"Just get out on Sai's side," Sasuke commented.

"Works for me," replied Sai.

No one spoke after that and Sasuke was easily able to drift off again, lulled by the comfort of sharing a bed with another body and the fresh scent of Naruto's shampoo and soap.

* * *

It was the first night in a while that he didn't dream about Gaara. Instead, he dreamt of Naruto, sitting on a stone bench in a cemetery. The blond wore a long coat and appeared to be staring at a small grave. A wrapped bouquet of fresh flowers lay in front of the headstone.

Sasuke was standing in the grass, watching from a distance. Naruto didn't notice him, and Sasuke didn't try to grab his attention.

He remembered feeling both curious and grateful; after standing there for what felt like forever, he simply walked away - out an open gate that led to a dusty country road.

* * *

Sasuke woke up, sweating and slightly panting. Naruto lay asleep by his side, facing him, forehead nearly touching his shoulder. There was a furrow between his two blond brows that he ached to smooth. He started to move his arm from under the blankets when the bedroom door opened. Instead of saying anything, Sai - dressed in just a pair of jeans with a towel around his neck - met Sasuke's gaze in the early morning light while standing in the doorway.

"Morning," said Sai, obviously noticing the close proximity between them in the bed. "Sleep well?"

He came into the room, grabbed a shirt sitting on the foot of the bed, and pulled it on over his head. Sasuke didn't know quite what to say and didn't understand why he'd felt as if he'd been caught in a compromising position when nothing had happened.

"Ino and Karin are up," Sai continued, attempting to sound casual. "We were thinking about running to get some donuts for when Naruto wakes up. He's not much of a morning person, so I wasn't going to try and wake him."

"Ah...hah." Sasuke raised up on an elbow.

"You know," Sai said in a low voice. "I'm not sure that I trust you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Just what is it you think I'm going to do?"

"You're a smart kid, right? I'm sure you can guess."

"I'm afraid I'm not interested in becoming familiar with what goes on inside your head."

"Right." Sai finished toweling off his hair. "I think you're forgetting that you just met Naruto, but I've known him for a long time. If anyone tries to hurt him in any way - "

"Naruto's a grown man, not a child," Sasuke snapped, feeling his temper rise. "And I have no interest in doing anything to him, but if you're so in love with Naruto that you need to scare everyone else away then that's your own problem. Not mine."

Sai looked as though he was about ready to drag Sasuke out of the bed and start a fight, but Naruto began to rouse.

"God, are you two fightin' already? This is, like, my one day to sleep in, and I can't even enjoy it!" Naruto groaned, rolled to the other side, and immediately fell back asleep.

"We'll be back," said Sai. "You and I can have a talk later."

"Thanks. I'll be sure to make a note of it in my calendar," Sasuke said dryly.

Sai offered a fake smile. "You think you're so special, right? So misunderstood? But I've known plenty of guys like you, and trust me, it gets old. It's clear the only reason Naruto is letting you hang around is because he feels pity for you. After all, who would want to voluntarily hang out with someone as miserable as you."

Sai left the room and closed the door behind him.

Pity. That's all he'd heard.

It made sense, didn't it? Naruto liked to help people. He liked to help the lost sheep. Probably something he picked up from his daddy. Suddenly, Sasuke felt disgusted with himself. When he heard the car door slam outside, he slid out of bed, gathered his clothes from last night, and went to change in the bathroom.

He didn't bother checking to see if Naruto was up before he left. It was cold out, but it was definitely tolerable. He could walk for 20-25 minutes in this and probably not freeze to death. Either way, he didn't want to be in that house any longer. He just wanted to be in his own bed, not having to deal with a bunch of crazy bullshit over people who might as well have been complete strangers to him.

* * *

He could barely feel his fingers by the time he snuck into his house, and as he walked past the kitchen, his mother was humming while she poured herself some coffee. Sasuke stopped long enough to say hello and to insinuate that he'd had a "good" time with the pastor's son. This seemed to please her enough that she smiled, and, wanting to be alone for a while, he went upstairs to his room afterward.

While lying in bed, it occurred to him that his mother had been in a particularly good mood since he'd been hanging out with Naruto. Before Christmas Eve, she'd mostly been sad and, apparently, racked with guilt because her own son seemed socially inadequate.

Sasuke wondered if Naruto was up yet or noticed that he was gone. He hadn't texted or called, so he must've not been too heartbroken over him leaving. For a while, he wasted some time, surfing the web on his phone, but not really having anything to do, Sasuke stripped off his sweater and jeans (the ankles were damp from the snow) and decided to get under the covers. He thought about going to sleep, but kept coming back to the dream he'd had this morning. The cemetery reminded him of the one his brother was buried in about 30 minutes outside of town, where his parents had lived prior to moving into this house. He'd never known him, of course, since he'd died only a couple of days after being born. The baby, who they'd named Itachi, would've been five years older than him.

His mother used to take him to visit the tiny gravestone every once in awhile. Sometimes he thought that the reason his mom became depressed on occasion had to do with the loss of her first born. But, like his father, she never expressed it verbally; rather, she simply became sad when Sasuke gave the impression that he didn't want to be here.

It was frustrating in a way. Though he knew he loved his parents and would avenge them should anything happen to either, he didn't like being bound to his parents or to this place because of guilt. Often, when he and Gaara were together, they talked of going places, of traveling around the world. So far, that hadn't exactly panned out, but maybe after he finished college, he'd go to Europe for a few months. Studying abroad was also an option. If he could somehow manage to afford it.

Sasuke sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair with one hand while tugging at the necklace with the other. He rolled over onto his side and stared out the window. It was snowing again. For not the first time, he began to wonder more about the relationship between Naruto and Sai. He regretted letting Sai kiss him last night, but there was nothing to be done about it now.

Instead, he thought of waking up in bed next to Naruto. Not in a creepy way. It's just that... he'd felt something similar about it the first time he stayed the night. That there was something more to Naruto, maybe even something dark. He didn't have any real proof. It was just a gut feeling. Or, maybe it was the way Sai was a bit too gung ho about his role as guard dog. Maybe their relationship wasn't blurry at all. Maybe Sai knew something he didn't.

It's not as if it was any of his business. What did he care? Not even worth thinking about. Best to spend the rest of his time here, catching up on reading, or whatever it is that college students do during winter break. To be honest, he was bored and ready to go back, but he'd promised to at least stay for New Year's.

There was nothing to go back to at his apartment anyway except maybe a busted heater that he forgot to tell the landlord to fix. Some friends who likely didn't give a fuckall about him. At least not in the way that Naruto and his friends all seemed to care about each other. He wasn't jealous, though. No, he was embarrassed for them. It seemed weak to need people like that. It's not at all what he wanted.

But then, why did seeing them all like that last night... make him feel so incredibly lonely?

* * *

After waking up around noon from more restless dreams, Sasuke's mother brought him a grilled cheese sandwich and a mug of tomato soup. His father was at work, and his mom said she had some errands to run this afternoon. Father wouldn't be home for dinner, so they talked about ordering pizza later. He wasn't usually one to sit around and do nothing all day, but he had to admit it felt pretty good. After he finished eating, he picked up an old book from off the shelf above his desk.

It must've been a couple of hours later when he heard a knock on the door, and though he was reluctant to get up, he eventually went down the stairs to answer the door after pulling on a sweatshirt. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Naruto standing there.

"Hey," said Naruto. He was bundled up in a heavy jacket, hat, scarf, and gloves.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked through the screen.

"Uh, well. I guess I just came to make sure you were okay. Sai said you left early in the morning. Had me worried."

"Sai said that?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "A call would have sufficed, don't you think?"

"Jeez. What crawled up your ass? I thought it was a nice gesture. Plus, everyone's takin' a nap. Apparently I slept in, but they were all up at the asscrack of dawn gettin' me donuts."

"Right. So I heard."

They stared at each other for a while, and when Naruto didn't seem as if he intended on leaving anytime soon, Sasuke let out a sigh of irritation.

"Did you... want to come in?" He asked.

"Sure. It's fuckin' cold out here. How did you get home anyway?"

Sasuke opened the door for him. "I walked."

Naruto stomped his boots out on the welcome mat before unlacing them and setting them in the corner. He removed his coat and everything else, which Sasuke hung up in the closet.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" Sasuke offered. He could at least be civil, he supposed. He didn't really have anything against Naruto personally, after all.

"If it's not too much trouble."

Naruto followed him up the stairs and into the kitchen, where he leaned against the counter as Sasuke filled the kettle with water.

"So, how were your donuts?" He asked drolly.

Naruto chuckled. "Delightful. You missed out."

"I doubt it." He turned around once he'd ignited the burner, and, casually, crossed his arms to his chest.

"Is that the school you go to?" Naruto asked, pointing at the logo on his sweatshirt. "You never told me."

"It is. You're not going to show up at my apartment now, are you?"

"Ha." Naruto scratched the side of his nose. "Listen, you seem like you're in a bad mood. Is there... you know. Uh, did anything happen I should know about? Sai didn't do anything weird, did he?"

"What, like make a move on me?"

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. It's just he was sorta actin' weird when the three of them got back. You know... he's not a bad guy - "

"You don't have to apologize for him, Naruto," he said sharply. "I don't care about Sai."

"Ah, well. Okay. 'Cause if he did say or do anything - "

"He didn't."

"Hm." Naruto stared at him uncertainly before giving a decisive nod. "Okay then."

"Is that really all you came for?"

Naruto hopped up onto the counter. "Nah, not really. Well, I mean the part about checkin' up on you was mostly why I came, but I guess, dunno. Wanted to see what you were up to."

"Well," he said, "I was lying in bed, reading, doing a whole lot of nothing."

"Sounds great." Naruto smiled widely.

"You don't get many days like that I take it?"

"Not really."

The tea kettle whistled, so Sasuke went to fetch a mug and the container of hot chocolate powder from the pantry. He stuck a spoon in it. He wasn't going to actually stir it for him, too.

"Thanks." Naruto took it and stirred without complaint. "Parents not home?"

"Dad's at work. Mom had errands."

"Is it nice to have the house to yourself?"

"It's quiet," he answered.

Naruto sipped from his mug and licked his lips. "What were you reading?"

"You'll laugh if I tell you."

"No, I won't," Naruto's eyes flashed brightly. "Tell me."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Now you seem too excited, so I'm not going to tell you."

"Bastard." Naruto laughed. "You really like makin' stuff difficult, don't you?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

"At least you're honest."

"Do you...?" He watched Naruto take another sip. "Want to go upstairs?"

"Sure," Naruto replied automatically. "Is it okay if I take this with me?"

"Why?" Sasuke asked, turning to walk away. "Did you see plastic covering the furniture?"

"No," Naruto grumbled. "I'm feelin' like my havin' manners is totally lost on you."

Sasuke smirked as he started up the stairs. "Probably."

They entered his room, and Sasuke left the door open. He went to his dresser to pull on a pair of socks since he'd rolled out of bed with only his boxers on. Naruto took a seat at the desk.

"How long before you have to go back?" Sasuke asked.

"Whenever. I won't stay long, though. I'm sure you're pleased to hear that."

Sasuke dropped onto the edge of the bed, staring intently at the blond.

"What?" Naruto asked, instinctively wiping at his upper lip.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"Has anyone ever told you that you have this sort of look?"

"I have a 'look'?"

"Yeah, you know how they say 'If looks could kill.'? That's kind of your general expression."

Sasuke frowned. "I'm sorry if my face offends you."

"Tch. Yeah, right. You know you're a good lookin' guy. I mean, you'd have to be for Sai to go after you."

Sasuke let the compliment wash over him but hoped it didn't show on his face. "What does that say about you then if Sai's always chasing you?"

"Are you suggesting Sai and I's relationship is more than platonic?" Naruto wore a huge grin, so he must've not thought Sasuke was being serious, which maybe should've told Sasuke that their relationship really was just on friendly terms.

"Then why is he like that with you?"

"Er." Naruto cleared his throat and set the mug on the desk. "Does it really bother you?"

Sasuke's brow furrowed in confusion. "It doesn't bother me."

"It kinda seems like it bothers you. At first I thought it was 'cause you were interested in him, but now the two of you seem like... you're at each other's throats when you're in the same room."

"He's annoying," said Sasuke. "What do you want me to say?"

"Sasuke. Sai's my friend. And a good friend at that. You don't know me that well, but he's really been there for me at times when no one else was."

"...Okay." Sasuke glanced away. "Sorry I asked."

When Naruto let out a long sigh, Sasuke looked his way, spying him out of the corner of his eye.

"You two really are a lotta like," Naruto murmured and picked up his mug again. He blew on his hot chocolate, even though by now it wouldn't have been very hot at all. "I don't suppose you wanna hang out with us again tonight?"

"Not really."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're not a very social person, are you?" Naruto asked.

"How am I not supposed to take offense?"

"You know what I mean. But c'mon, Sasuke. You say whatever you want so you can't expect me to speak with a filter either."

"I suppose that's true." He shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

"Even if you don't wanna hang out with them, I'd like to hang out with you once they're gone. Y'know, if you've got nothin' better to do."

"If I'm so antisocial, why is it someone like you would want to hang out with someone as terrible with people as me?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head and let out another sigh. "I guess I struck a nerve, huh?"

"No," he said immediately. "It's just... you sound a lot like my mother."

"She tells you you're antisocial?" Naruto looked surprised.

"Not in so many words. It's not like..." He crossed his legs underneath him on the bed. "It's not like I don't know. I do the best I can. It's not always easy for me. I don't have the same people skills as you do, Naruto."

Naruto got up from the chair and walked toward him. He placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Sorry."

"For what?" Sasuke grumbled at him.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad. In fact, I don't think... well, other than the fact you keep leavin' in the morning without sayin' goodbye... that you're bad with people. I just think, you know, you're not the type of person who would fake it. Because you're honest."

"So when you talk to people you're being fake?"

"Well, no." Naruto removed his hand from Sasuke's shoulder and rubbed his chin. "I like people, but sometimes I have to turn it 'on'. Sometimes it can get exhaustin', but because of my dad, it's always come with the territory."

"I guess that makes me feel a little better." Sasuke offered a crooked smile.

"We don't really know a lot about each other, do we?" Naruto cocked his head. "But, I feel like I wanna get to know you better. Too bad you have to go back to school soon."

Sasuke felt himself flush at Naruto's words. "Don't say such embarrassing things, idiot."

"Ah, I've found your weak spot! Sayin' nice things to you! That's adorable, Sasuke. You're like a little kid."

"Shut up."

Naruto gazed up at the ceiling, smiling wide and scrunching his nose. The light caught the unusual shade of blue in his eyes. He looked...

"Don't you have to get back to your friends," Sasuke spit out before he said anything he'd regret.

"Why? Tryin' to get rid of me?" Naruto slid his hands into his jean pockets.

"Why? Do you want to stay? Are you looking to add me to your tally of men you've made out with?"

Naruto's eyes seemed to grow less bright. "Jerk. Should never have mentioned that to you."

"I'd be the last person to tell you it's something you should be ashamed of."

Biting his lip, Naruto appeared like he was deep in thought about something, but then there was a buzzing sound, which Sasuke assumed was the blond's phone. Naruto pulled it out of his pocket and read the text.

"Ah, Sai's up. He's wonderin' where I'm at."

"Of course he is," Sasuke muttered.

Naruto stood. "If you change your mind about tonight, you know where I'm at. I'll give you a call tomorrow to see if you're up to doin' anything. They should be leavin' by about 3, I guess."

"If you want," he said non-commitally.

For a moment, Naruto stared at him in a very serious, unnerving manner before cryptically saying, "You really like to play hard to get, don't you?"

And while Sasuke was left to ponder what he meant by that, Naruto got up and headed down the stairs, where, not more than a few minutes later, the sound of the screen door could be heard banging shut.


	6. Chapter 6

It was around 9 p.m. that his phone started rattling around on his nightstand. Sasuke, checking who it was first, set the book he'd been reading down in order to answer it.

"No," he said in lieu of a greeting.

"Is that how you always greet friends over the phone?"

Sasuke scowled upon hearing that voice. He'd expected it to be Naruto given that it was his number showing, so he was extremely irritated to find it was Sai on the phone, instead.

"I'm hanging up now," he warned.

"Don't do that just yet. I'm only the messenger."

Sasuke barely refrained from following through with his threat, but he should at least make sure this wasn't an emergency first. "What are you talking about?"

"We're at a bar where I might have bought Naruto one too many drinks."

"And, so what? The only way you can take advantage of him is to get him drunk?" Sasuke asked, hitting the back of his head against the wall a couple of times. He still wasn't sure how that explained why Sai was using Naruto's phone to call him.

"Very cute," Sai said dryly. "Although it makes no difference to me as to whether you show up or not, I told Naruto that I'd call you on his behalf. He wanted to check in and see if you might have changed your mind about coming out." The man snickered. "Pun intended, I suppose."

"Hilarious. And no. Dare I ask why that idiot couldn't call me himself?"

"He doesn't know I stole his phone, and I got tired of listening to him whine at me about - "

Sai didn't finish what he was about to say. In the background, he heard a female voice, asking who Sai was talking to, and then there was a slight pause on the other end of the line.

"Sasuke?" It was Ino talking to him now. "What are you doing? Why didn't you come out with us tonight?"

"I... had other plans," he half-lied.

"That's too bad. We're only here for one more night. Karin has to be at work on Monday, so we couldn't stay very long."

He didn't know how that really affected him, and although it was very easy for him to brush off Sai, it was slightly more difficult to be mean to Ino.

"So," he said. "Where's Naruto?"

"Dancing, I think?"

That made sense given the fact he could hear distorted music in the background.

"You know," she continued, "If you want me to pick you up, I could. I'm the DD for the night. I think Naruto was disappointed you decided not to hang out. He kept mentioning that he was going to call you, but our Naruto likes to party, so he got distracted."

"Uh huh. Listen, I don't think - "

"Please?" She used this ultra-sweet voice that was wearing down his resolve because even he wasn't that much of an asshole. "I won't even bring Karin, how's that? I think it'd make Naruto really happy if you came?"

"And I should care about Naruto's happiness because...?"

But then the phone sounded as if it was changing hands again, and Sasuke really hoped it wouldn't mean having to talk to Sai again.

"Sasuke!"

Finally.

"Naruto," he replied, with much less enthusiasm than Naruto. Still, it didn't keep him from smiling for some reason. "Having fun?"

"Yeah!" He was shouting in Sasuke's ear. "This bar is pretty cool. No one told me about it. You might know some of the people here. I've seen 'em at church, too. They're all surprised that a pastor's kid knows how to party."

Sasuke sighed. "Please tell me you're not embarrassing yourself."

"I... don't think so?" There was a pause. "Am I embarrassing myself?" Naruto was apparently asking someone nearby that question. "This lady says I'm not."

"You're drunk."

"...Maybe? So, do you wanna come hang out? Sai's 21. If you make out with him again, he'll buy you a drink, too." Naruto cackled at his own joke.

"Why? Is that what _you_ had to do?"

"Ha. Very funny. Come, please? Sasuke. Please?"

"Begging doesn't suit you," he said, though he had to admit Naruto's phrasing, spoken in that drunk-husky voice of his, didn't leave him entirely unaffected.

"Give me the phone, Naruto!" Ino grabbed it from him. "Sasuke, just say yes, alright? I'd like to see you one last time. Sai promises to behave, and we'll put Karin on a leash. She's found a guy at the bar who's happy to buy her drinks, and not to pressure you, but... we. Well, we definitely like you and want you to hang out with us. And I'd like to know that when we drive home, Naruto will have at least one friend he can play with after we leave."

Talk about a guilt trip. Sasuke didn't really want to go. In fact, staying in his warm bed and reading a book sounded like an amazing way to spend his evening, but... Ino sounded sincere, and he wasn't exactly tired. While he was surprised that Sai had called considering what he'd said to Sasuke this morning, he supposed that was the other man's way of saying it was all water under the bridge. Also, Sasuke didn't like the idea of Sai being the reason that he _didn't_ go. He wasn't the type to let anyone intimidate him. Plus, he couldn't deny that he was a little intrigued to see this other side of Naruto. He'd seen him tipsy, but seeing him in this state might lead to good blackmail material.

"Fine," he agreed.

"Really?" Ino sounded as excited as Naruto did earlier, which is something he really couldn't fathom given that they hardly knew each other.

"I'll start getting ready. Can you give me about 15 minutes?"

"Yeah. It'll take me at least that long to get over there. I think I remember where your house is."

"Call me if you get lost."

Ino squealed. "I'm so excited! Can't wait to see you again!"

Once the call ended, he set the phone on the table. Had he really agreed to going out with them for a second time? When he was at college, it wasn't as if he was a complete hermit. He went out on a somewhat regular basis, but going to bars in his hometown was something else altogether, especially since a lot of people knew who his father was.

At least his mother would be pleased that he was going out with the pastor's son again. He got up and went to his dresser, where he pulled out a pair of jeans. There was a pile of gift boxes from Christmas near his bed, a lot of them including new clothes. He took out a blue sweater that his mother had bought him and tugged it over his head after ripping off the tag. Once he slipped on some socks and a belt, he stepped inside the upstairs bathroom to fix his hair, brush his teeth, and put on some cologne. It made him think of Naruto's, which always smelled so familiar. He'd had that scent all over his clothes when he'd come home.

Sufficiently satisfied with his appearance, Sasuke was just heading down the stairs when Ino texted him to let him know she was in the driveway. The lights in the living room were off. As usual, his mother had left the light above the stove on like she always did for when his father arrived home from the police station. During the holidays, he tended to work long hours.

He thought it might be in his best interest to knock on his parents' bedroom door and let his mom know he was heading out.

"Mother," he said. "I'm going out for a while."

Mikoto was in bed, scrolling through Facebook on her iPad.

"You are? What time is it?"

"Around 9.30," he answered.

"I don't suppose you're going out with Naruto?" His mother asked hopefully.

"He might be there," he answered. "Why?"

"Just curious. I saw on Facebook that he has friends visiting from out of town. The girls in the pictures are very pretty."

"You're... Facebook friends with Naruto?" He asked incredulously.

"Of course! I friended him and his father. Naruto posted pictures some of the work they did at his house today. I thought you were going to help with that?"

"I... didn't know that's what they were up to today. I'll help him this week."

"That's very sweet, dear. I'm sure he'd be happy to have your company. Minato's worried that he's working too hard at the church to be able to make a lot of friends yet."

Sasuke didn't want to admit just how unnerved he was by the frequency with which his mother spoke of the new pastor.

"Call us if you need a ride, Sasuke. Your father and I are aware that kids your age do drink. Just make sure you're responsible about it. After all, you know who your father is."

"Yes, mother. I know. I'll be going now."

As he shut the door to her room, he heard her say "Have a good time, Sasuke."

He made his way down the dark hall, for some reason having flashbacks to his childhood, when his mother and father used to have frequent fights. At the time, he'd thought it was because of him, but as he got older, he realized his parents were adults who had their own issues.

Sasuke grabbed his coat and scarf from out of the closet, and then headed out of the house, making sure to lock the door behind him. Ino was alone in Karin's car, and Sasuke felt relieved it would only be the two of them. Of Naruto's friends, Ino was, by far, his favorite.

"How is it that you can look that good with only 15 minutes of preparation?" Ino asked as soon as he was inside the car. "It takes me at least a half hour to get my hair this straight."

Sasuke strapped on his seatbelt, absorbing the praise, but not having a response for it.

"Is Naruto in the drunk tank yet?" He asked.

Laughing, Ino reversed the car out of the driveway. "Not yet. We let him have fun, but we'll make sure he won't get that bad. Obviously we can't have him embarrass himself when his dad's the pastor of this town."

"Sai's acting as his babysitter?"

"I suppose you could put it that way."

"They seem close."

"They are," she answered while they turned on to one of the town's main roads. "They've been close for a long time. Sai's been pretty inconsolable since Naruto moved, though I think they must talk on the phone almost every night."

"Why did he and his dad decide to leave?"

Ino glanced at him briefly. "He didn't tell you?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"It's kind of a long story. I'm sure he'll tell you if you ask. You should've heard him earlier, Sasuke. It was so adorable. He kept asking one of us to text you and see if you wanted to come out. I'm not sure why he wouldn't do it himself. He seemed to think you'd say no if he was the one to ask."

"Why would he think that?" He murmured and glanced out the window. It wasn't snowing, but there was plenty of it on the ground.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ino's tone became more serious.

Sasuke turned away from the window to regard her. He didn't give her an answer, but he also didn't say no either.

"How is Naruto… doing?" Ino asked him. "You've spent time with him since he's been here. Would you say he seems happy?"

"Happy?" He repeated. "I'm not sure I know Naruto well enough to presume how to tell if he's happy."

Ino hummed, apparently not satisfied with his answer, but it was the truth, wasn't it? If he thought about it, he couldn't say whether he believed Naruto was happy. He seemed happy enough now that his friends were here. Prior to that Sasuke had heard him laugh a few times, and he'd also thought Naruto enjoyed himself during the Christmas service.

"Well, let's make a night of it, hm?" Ino sounded like she was giving herself a pep talk. "After all, the three of us won't be able to see Naruto for a while. I'm a little jealous, really. That you'll get to hang out with him longer than us."

Sasuke, gazing at her, thought she looked sad. Once more, he was left with the impression he was missing something. Then again, maybe it was his own fault for never having asked Naruto much about himself. What did he know, really? That he'd lost his mother four years ago? That he had an oddly close relationship with Sai, and that Naruto was a private person. He was warm and open with his friends, affectionate even, but among strangers and acquaintances...Sasuke wasn't so sure how much of what Naruto did and said was an act. Not to say he thought Naruto disingenuous, but even Naruto admitted he sometimes needed to keep up appearances.

That was something Sasuke could relate to. Growing up in this town, he'd always had to be on his best behavior for fear of embarrassing his father.

"You okay?" Ino asked suddenly. "You went all quiet on me."

"Sorry," he said and offered a faint smile. "I was only thinking about some things."

"Maybe you'll feel better once you have a drink. I doubt we'll stay at the bar much longer unless you really want to."

"I don't especially," he said, "But you sounded so convincing on the phone..."

"Please tell me this is you flirting with me," she said while smiling.

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm guessing Naruto or Sai hasn't mentioned it to you?"

"Mentioned what?"

"That," he hesitated, not used to freely admitting his sexual orientation to strangers, "I'm gay."

"Oh." She frowned. "Oh, boy. That... that explains... okay. No, they didn't, and I'm going to have to punch both of them." Then she laughed. "God, I almost feel sorry for Karin! She has such a crush on you. Or did. Now she may have a crush on this other guy. Wow, though. So Naruto _and_ Sai knew you were into guys? Those jerks."

"I wasn't purposely trying to hide it or deceive you."

"No need to apologize. I shouldn't be surprised. Gay men seem to flock to Naruto. You have no idea."

"Do they now." He wasn't sure how to feel about that statement.

"I think it's just because he's so nice, you know?"

"You two used to date?"

"For a little while," she said, "In high school. I don't think his dad approved of me. I was a party girl back then."

"You two would make a rather attractive couple."

"You think?" Ino laughed and even from here, Sasuke could see the blush developing on her cheeks. "I don't know. Not to mention it would be annoying to have to compete with Sai."

"How so?" He asked, hoping she could give more insight into their relationship without him seeming like he was... interested.

"You're curious about them, aren't you?"

Dammit. She was more observant than he expected.

"I am." He decided to be honest. "A little. Sai seems... very protective of Naruto. Or, should I say, territorial?"

"I think Naruto helped Sai at a time when he needed it, and then when Naruto started..." She bit her lip and her whole expression became somber. "Well, when he needed someone, Sai was there for him. I think after that, they were joined at the hip. Naruto's a very loyal friend. But, I'm not sure even I know the extent of their relationship. I could guess, maybe? However." She gave him a meaningful look. "You're really better off asking him these things yourself. Whether he tells you anything, I don't know."

They didn't speak too much after that, really. Christmas music was on in the background even though it had already come and gone. Five minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the bar and got out of the car. Ino smiled at him and grabbed for his arm. He was fine with it since there was ice on the ground, and he didn't want her to slip. She looked pretty tonight - her long hair down and parted on one the side, makeup subtle but fresh, gloss making her full lips shine. He really did mean it when he'd said she and Naruto would make an exceptionally good looking couple.

While walking toward the entrance, there were several guys close to his age smoking cigarettes, and all three of them were eyeing Ino. She squeezed his arm tighter, clearly aware of the unsolicited attention. Sasuke did feel an odd pang of protectiveness. It was kind of pathetic how some men didn't realize how uncomfortable being stared at was for women. So, he made sure to stay by her side until they were up at the bar, where he found Sai sitting on one of the stools.

They shared a look, but Sai didn't seem like he intended on starting a fight (at least not yet, and not here).

"Where's Naruto?" Ino asked

"Out on the dance floor." Sai nodded in that general direction.

It was dark, crowded, and very loud, so Sasuke couldn't pick him out at all.

"Do you want a drink?" Sai asked in a civil tone.

Sasuke wasn't so sure he wanted to accept a drink from him. He didn't really recognize anyone in the bar, so he didn't think it would be a big deal, but he also wasn't entirely sure about Sai's motives, especially given what he'd said this morning.

"No strings attached," he said after sensing Sasuke's hesitation. "It's just a drink."

"Fine. Just a beer then."

Ino didn't ask for anything since she had taken on the designated driver role. Meanwhile, Sasuke took the open seat on Sai's right while Ino took the one on his left. After his beer arrived, the three of them engaged in normal conversation, thanks mostly to Ino. She would ask questions or make rather clever quips. Sai, as much as Sasuke loathed to admit it, was acting tolerably. He didn't make fun of Sasuke once or bring up anything regarding yesterday. Sasuke did think, however, that Sai seemed distracted. Every once in awhile, he would glance toward the dance floor.

"Are you suffering from separation anxiety already?" Ino teased, having also noticed. "If you miss him that much, go dance."

"I don't dance. He knows that."

"Sasuke," Ino leaned across the bar. "Do you dance?"

"Not...really."

"You two aren't any fun," she said, and when she pouted, it kind of reminded him of Naruto. "Maybe I'll go?"

He didn't really like the idea of being left alone with Sai, but before he could truly put an effort into stopping her, she dashed off to the dance floor. That left the two of them. He sipped at his beer.

"Thanks for the drink," he said.

Sai turned toward him on the stool. "I have to give you credit. I didn't think you'd agree to join us."

"Oh?"

"I know Naruto went to your house this afternoon, and when he came back, he got on my case."

Sasuke set down the bottle. "I hope you're not insinuating that - "

Sai put up a hand. "The truth is," he said. "As much as I don't like the idea of Naruto living here without any of his friends around, I suppose I have to face the fact that... I won't always be able to be there for him."

Sasuke was left to wonder just how much Sai'd had to drink tonight to be admitting these types of things to him.

"You and Ino have said very similar things tonight. I'm only here for Christmas break." Sasuke glanced toward the dance floor. "Naruto and I, I'm not even sure you could consider us friends. I'm not sure he would consider us friends."

"No?" Sai asked curiously. "Then why are you here?"

A simple enough question. Why was he here? This afternoon, he'd had no interest in going out, mostly because he didn't want to be somewhere that he wasn't wanted. Sai obviously didn't want him around and Sasuke wasn't interested in fighting with him over Naruto every time they saw one another.

Sai leaned in even closer. "You're not completely out, are you?"

"Meaning?" He wanted to back away, put more distance between them, but there was a certain magnetism to Sai, unfortunately. He was attractive, direct, and although Sasuke wouldn't describe him as flamboyant, there was a strong sensuality about him. For a brief moment, he recalled the feel of Sai's hands on his hips and the press of his lips when they'd kissed.

"Your family doesn't know," Sai clarified, though it still sounded more like a question than a statement.

Sasuke tilted his head just slightly, and Sai's gaze seemed to drift toward the subtle movement.

"My family doesn't know," he responded.

Sai nodded and his overall expression softened. "I remember those days," he said, brushing his long fingers over the curved edge of the bar. "Would you believe that Naruto was the first person I came out to? Poor guy. I think I surprised the hell out of him."

Sasuke watched the movement of Sai's fingers. Being told something like that helped him wrap his head around the type of friendship those two had. Of course, Naruto already mentioned that he was used to people seeking him out for advice or just to listen to their problems. After all, he'd somehow managed to gravitate toward him, as well. It would explain what Ino said, too, about Naruto having a fair amount of gay friends. Sasuke might not be out in his hometown, but there were enough people he'd told while at college for him to say he had some practice at it. When he'd told Naruto that night, it was under unusual circumstances, and he'd felt rather desperate.

"You went to school with Naruto?" He asked.

"No. Different schools. We had mutual friends, so I'd seen him here and there. One night, we had a very long, philosophical conversation. At the time, he and I were... well, I was 16. He was 15. I had known for a while about my sexual preferences, but I came from an abusive household. My father would've kicked me out, and I didn't _want_ to be gay. That night, talking to Naruto - "

When Sai's gaze drifted toward the dance floor again, Sasuke also looked that way. Naruto was dancing with Ino and another very pretty girl near the edge of the floor. In that instant, he almost felt sorry for Sai. Maybe he _wasn't_ in love with Naruto, but he obviously had some very deep feelings for him.

"You were saying?" Sasuke sipped at his beer and placed an elbow on the bartop, turning his back as much to the dance floor as was possible for now.

Sai glanced at him, his look very intense and dark. "The way he talked to me. Even if it was a lot of spiritual stuff I didn't believe in, it was the first time I felt as though it was okay to be myself. He was very open and easy to talk to before I told him I was gay, and he didn't change after that either. He just accepted it. He didn't act any different around me."

"I thought you said he seemed surprised." Sasuke set the bottle down and started picking at the label, a nervous habit of his. He kept trying to imagine this conversation and what Naruto at that age would've been like. If he'd treated Sai the same way that Naruto had him.

"I guess I shouldn't say that it was me coming out that surprised him, but more of _how_ I came out."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, asking a question without verbalizing it.

Sai smiled. "I kissed him. How could I not? I thought he was hot. He made me laugh. He was easy to talk to. He wasn't judgey at all for being a pastor's kid."

Sasuke cracked a smirk. "So... what did he do?"

Sai shrugged. "Nothing. He didn't return the kiss if that's what you're asking. He... laughed, scratched the back of his head, and turned red in the face. Then he told me he had a girlfriend."

Sasuke nodded and knew that for whatever reason, he felt a little disappointed. It had remained up in the air for him about whether Naruto was into men or women or both.

"So you and Naruto never...?"

Sai laughed and leaned in again, so close that Sasuke grew a little self-conscious of someone noticing. Instinctively, he moved back in order to put more space between them.

"Right," said Sai. "I keep having to remind myself that you're not out. Even though it annoys me Naruto seems to like you, you are..." The other man rested his head on his hand, watching him. "Very attractive, Sasuke. You're very sexy. I don't regret kissing you last night."

"I thought that was a test," he replied, the man's flattery and words causing him to feel warm all over.

"Maybe at first. But if you wouldn't have pushed me off, or if Naruto hadn't come in, I doubt I would've been able to stop myself on my own."

"Are you hitting on me right now?" He asked, his voice barely audible above the din of the music.

"Absolutely."

"What would Naruto say?"

"Honestly? I think he had it in mind to set us up... at first."

"At first?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his sweating palm across his jeans.

"I thought he was jealous. After walking in on us. I thought that since he was ignoring you afterward, maybe he didn't like that I was paying you so much attention. But. Then I considered maybe it was the other way around."

Sasuke let that sink in for a few seconds. He'd also been under the impression that Naruto was acting odd after walking in on them, but he'd attributed that to the amount of alcohol Naruto drank last night. It was probably the other man's paranoia that caused him to even consider Naruto might be jealous of Sai for kissing him. After all, Naruto had pushed him away that first time Sasuke spent the night at his house and, if anything, it would make more sense that Naruto was just being territorial or protective of his own best friend.

Either way, he did know one thing. Tonight, he'd learned more from Sai and Ino about Naruto than Naruto himself.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" He asked Sai.

"I... don't know."

Sasuke shot him a skeptical look.

"You don't believe me?" Sai grazed his hand against Sasuke's thigh.

"Don't," he said, and cast his eyes around the room.

Sai's hand went back to where Sasuke could keep an eye on it. "Sorry. Reflex."

Of course, Naruto, once again, chose that particular moment to make an appearance - when it looked as though he and Sai couldn't keep their hands off of one another.

Naruto glanced at him, looking uncertain about intruding on them. "So, you decided to come?"

"Sai called me using your phone. He said you weren't man enough to call me yourself."

"Did he?" Naruto's eyes seemed to brighten, and he punched Sasuke playfully in the shoulder. "I don't really remember that, but I'm glad he did since now you're here."

Sasuke thought he looked fairly flushed, probably from all of the dancing. He was dressed in a t-shirt and dark pair of jeans. Sasuke realized he'd only ever seen him in heavy jackets, sweaters, or hoodies, but now he could see the defined muscles of his arms.

"Who's your girlfriend?" Sai asked, which drew Sasuke's attention away from checking Naruto out. "The one from the dance floor."

"Oh." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "She's back in town for the holidays, and... Sasuke probably knows her maybe. I think she said her name was... Ashley?"

Sasuke shook his head. He didn't know her, but it's not as if he'd befriended many people from that time either.

"Ah, well. Maybe that wasn't her name? Um, so are you two in the middle of somethin', or can I sit down?"

"We were only talking," Sasuke said to him and removed his jacket from the stool on his left, so that he could sit there and Naruto would be between them.

He wondered what was going through Naruto's head right now. If Naruto wanted to assume things, then that was his prerogative.

"Have you seen Karin lately?" Naruto asked, fanning himself with his hand. He grabbed Sai's drink and gulped down what little was left.

"If you wanted something else, you could've just asked," Sai told him softly. "But I think it's time to cut you off." He reached over and, gently, tucked a piece of hair behind Naruto's ear.

Naruto didn't seem to notice, unlike Sasuke, who would've blanched at the public show of affection.

"As for Karin," Sai continued, "I think we can guess what she's up to and where she's at."

Naruto didn't look too happy about this information. "Did you at least vet the guy and make sure he wasn't an asshole?"

"I did my best, but Karin's a big girl, and she likes sex."

Naruto made a face and nearly started choking on the ice cube he'd just stolen from Sai's glass. Sai slapped him on the back.

"Don't say that," Naruto scolded when he recovered.

"Why? It's true, isn't it? She would've done Sasuke on the spot if he'd shown any interest. Don't you think, Sasuke?"

The both of them looked toward Sasuke as if they really expected him to give a response.

"What about you?" Naruto asked him.

"What about me? I think it should be clear I don't want to have sex with your cousin."

"No. That's - " Naruto let out a sigh and seemed to wobble on the stool. "I don't suppose you dance?"

"Hey. What's this?" Sai asked. "You didn't ask _me_ to dance."

"That's because I know you hate dancin'," Naruto argued.

"If you asked me, I might."

Naruto just shook his head and folded both arms on top of the bar. Sai rubbed his back for him.

"Are you ready to go?" Sai asked.

"Nah. I'm fine." Naruto glanced his way. "Besides. Sasuke just got here."

"You don't need to force yourself on my account," he said, slightly concerned about the way Naruto was acting. He'd seemed upbeat and full of energy while dancing, but now he looked tired and solemn.

Sasuke had this unexpected impulse to... embrace him, which he never would've done. Even if he'd wanted to, it was Sai who put an arm around Naruto's shoulders.

"You feeling okay?" Sai asked, his voice low, but Sasuke heard him.

Naruto nodded and Sai backed off some.

"It sucks that you guys are going home tomorrow," said Naruto. "It was good having you here."

"Sasuke can take over where we left off," Sai replied.

"Sasuke's gonna be gone in a week, and he doesn't even like me that much." He peered over at Sasuke and because he wasn't smiling as widely as he usually did when joking, Sasuke was unsure as to whether he was being serious.

"Sasuke likes you, stupid." Sai nudged him with his shoulder. "Don't you, Sasuke?"

"You're tolerable," he answered.

"See," said Naruto. "Ah, I've done my best, and all I am is 'tolerable'."

"You'll win him over," Sai reassured. "You always win everyone over in the end."

"Hm. I wonder." Naruto scrunched his nose. "So, what do you think?" He was addressing Sasuke. "Wanna drink more, dance, make out with Sai, or go back to my place?"

Sasuke glared at him. "I can't tell whether you're joking right now."

"No?" Naruto made a thoughtful face. "I can't either."

"Oh, boy." Sai ruffled the hair at the back of the blond's head. "Now I know you've had too much. We're going home."

"You know best," Naruto murmured.

"Ignore him," said Sai. "When he reaches his limit, this is how he gets. He'll feel guilty for it in about 15 minutes, and then you'll be able to ask for anything you want."

"What? I don't do that." Naruto got to his feet. "Okay. Well. Maybe. I'm not bein' that bad, am I?"

"You'd have to ask Sasuke," Sai told him. "He's the one who hasn't seen you like this before."

Sasuke, who was still sitting, looked up at the same time Naruto gazed down at him.

"Am I... bein' an ass?"

"No more than usual," Sasuke answered, and since he wasn't actually upset or even annoyed, he attempted a smile so that Naruto wouldn't feel bad.

Naruto smiled back. "I'm glad you came. Will you... go home with us?"

"Maybe I should, since I have 15 minutes before you feel the need to make it up to me."

Naruto let out a loud laugh. Meanwhile, Sai also got to his feet.

"I'll go rally the troops," he said and, with one glance to Sasuke, left the two of them alone.

Naruto remained standing and looked as though he was surveying the crowd.

"Looking for that girl from earlier?" Sasuke asked neutrally. "Want to ask her to come home with us, too?"

"I was looking for Ino actually." Naruto, after another minute or so, sat on the stool again and grabbed for Sasuke's empty beer bottle. He played with it, pushing it back and forth between both hands.

"They're not gone yet," Sasuke said, figuring that Naruto was most upset by the idea of his friends leaving. "Enjoy it while they're here."

"I know. I just..." He glanced helplessly at Sasuke. "I don't like feelin' lonely. But, it's cool. It takes time to make friends. It's not like I've never moved around before. I just forgot, I guess."

"Usually it's you that's the one offering pep talks," he said.

"Yeah..."

"You looked like you were having fun earlier."

"I was..."

"Maybe it's because I showed up and ruined it? I can have that effect on people."

Naruto snorted and touched him on the forearm. "I doubt it. If anything, I'm really happy you came. I wish someone would've told me sooner. I would've come over. Although, maybe that's what Ino had been tryin' to tell me. Couldn't hear a damn thing out there so I just kept saying 'Yes?' without knowin' what the hell she was sayin'."

"I did wonder if you were ignoring me."

"You don't like bein' neglected."

Sasuke held the other man's gaze for a while, long enough to feel a stirring of something akin to longing. It was in these moments, even though his doubts had increased after talking to Sai tonight, that he imagined there was something -

Unfortunately, whatever moment it was they were sharing was interrupted by the appearance of Karin and Ino, the former of whom pounced on her cousin's back. Naruto nearly smacked his head against the bar because of her unexpected weight. Ino attempted to pull her off, but, instead, got dragged into Naruto's lap.

"Oh. Hey, Sasuke," Karin said to him while adjusting her glasses. "I didn't realize you were here."

"What?" Ino cried. "I totally told you he was here two minutes ago."

"Shut up!" Karin hit her in the arm. "I wasn't paying attention anyway, since I was talking to that hot guy still."

"I hope you used a condom!" Ino pointed at her.

"Could you not in front of everyone?" Karin screeched.

"Okay, this conversation is already too much for me." Naruto pushed Karin off of him but seemed to feel comfortable leaving Ino in his lap. "Where's Sai?"

"I think he went to the bathroom," Ino answered.

Naruto shot Sasuke a look and a smirk. Sasuke could read his mind easily enough: _Want to join him in there?_

"You're so immature," Sasuke muttered, which led to Naruto cackling and the girls asking him what was so funny.

As Sai walked up to them, Sasuke caught himself smiling.

"What's happening here?" Sai asked and handed Naruto his coat. "Even Sasuke's smiling."

"Wait. He is?" Naruto nearly snapped his neck in an attempt to catch him in the act. He moved in so close that Sasuke had to put a hand to his face and push him away.

"Too close, idiot."

"Yeah, Naruto," said Karin. "You looked like you were about to kiss him!"

"If that's your idea of a kiss," said Ino, "I think you've been doing it wrong."

"If anyone's going to kiss Naruto tonight, it'll be me." Sai slipped on his jacket and shoved his hands in the pockets.

"We _did_ hang some mistletoe up today." Naruto was grinning at Sai, like this was some sort of inside joke.

"Oh, shut up, you two," said Karin. "Let's go."

While some of the members of their party continued to horse around, the rest of them started putting on their various coats, mittens, and scarves as they attempted to file out of the bar. There were a few young women who stopped Naruto on their way. They didn't seem too happy about the fact he was departing so soon. When it felt as though Naruto wasn't making any progress toward the door, it was Sasuke who placed a hand on the small of his back to get him going again.

It did occur to him that, if Naruto wanted, he could easily get any girl in this town to date him. He hadn't paid much attention to it earlier except when he noticed Naruto dancing with someone, but he must already be fairly popular among the local females. However, he was sure being the pastor's son meant dating could be difficult. How much sin did Naruto get to indulge in, really? He certainly didn't think Naruto was a virgin. In fact, it seemed very likely that he and Ino might've hooked up at some point, considering how physical they were for just being friends.

He considered it odd, though, that their closeness didn't bother him the same way it did when he observed Naruto and Sai together. He couldn't even say why it bothered him at all. Envy, maybe. He'd thought something similar last night when he realized he sometimes missed having that closeness with another person.

After walking into the parking lot, the five of them piled into Karin's car. Since Ino was the only one who hadn't had anything to drink, she ended up being the one to drive them to Naruto's house. Sasuke was stuck in the backseat with Naruto and Karin. Thankfully, Naruto was sitting between them.

During the drive to Naruto's, no one really spoke. The atmosphere had become somewhat somber, and looking at the expressions he could see, everyone appeared to be lost in their thoughts. Maybe they were thinking about the fact that they would be going home tomorrow. They were all obviously very close.

Since he never had the capacity to break this kind of heavy, melancholy tension, he decided to stare out the window. He also began to think of less than uplifting things when Naruto leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder and let out a sigh. Sasuke could smell liquor on his breath, but he wasn't bothered.

Another Christmas song started to play on the radio, but Sai turned it off.

Naruto, however, continued to hum the rest of it through to the end. Sasuke was left to think about how tired Naruto looked tonight. He must give his support to a lot of people. He had to Sasuke, and he probably had to every single person in this car. It was unfortunate, really, because Naruto was someone you always wanted to see smiling, laughing, and joking.

Then again, he didn't need Naruto to be "on" all of the time. He kind of liked this side of him, too, because… at least it felt real.

Sasuke, maybe in response to Naruto doing it a minute ago, sighed, too.

It hurt sometimes... to feel those things that were real. No one knew more about wanting to escape than he did. But, it did make sense that accepting help and support from others around you, especially the ones willing to do so, could make any burden a lot more easy to bear.


	7. Chapter 7

They were all sitting around the kitchen table in Naruto's house, playing some absurd card game the girls brought called Exploding Kittens. No one was really drinking, except Sai, who had a beer in his hand. Ino and Karin were having hot chocolate, and Naruto was sipping water in an attempt to sober up. Sasuke was already out of the game, so he got up to stretch. He went into the living room, smirking as he walked beneath the mistletoe hanging from the top of the doorway.

The room smelled of fresh paint, which is what everyone must've spent most of the day doing. Apparently, they'd also organized the basement and, before everyone left tomorrow, Naruto wanted to retrieve the piano from his dad's house. Everything was still sparsely furnished and decorated since Naruto had the wood floors to sand yet. The place remained as clean as when he'd left it the other day. He would never have expected Naruto to be a tidy person, but he seemed almost as anal about it as Sasuke. He slumped down into the lumpy couch, listening to the laughter coming from the kitchen. Naruto had a very distinct laugh, he thought. He appeared to be in a much better mood than earlier, which meant that everyone else's moods had perked up, too. Including Sasuke's.

Even though he'd lazed about all day, he was pretty tired. He hadn't planned on spending the night, but sitting on the couch felt comfortable. In fact, he decided to lie down on it and rest his eyes for a while. Usually background noise annoyed him and kept him from falling asleep, but there was something very comforting about being able to hear everyone having a good time. If he was at home, he would've been alone in his room, reading or messing around online.

So far, his parents hadn't mentioned any plans for New Year's, but that was coming soon. More than likely they'd want to attend a service the night before. He hadn't been to one since Christmas. Maybe hanging out with Naruto had kept his mother from nagging him about attending another. With a yawn, Sasuke grabbed a red throw from off of the back of the couch and turned onto his side. He shouldn't fall asleep here, but it was just so hard to keep his eyes open.

* * *

"Hey, Sasuke. Wake up!"

Sasuke awoke to find Naruto crouched by the sofa, shaking him. The others were standing behind him and judging by their concerned expressions, he could tell that he must've said or done something in his sleep. Slightly embarrassing, but not a big deal. Bad dreams were a common occurrence for him.

"I'm fine," he assured, removing Naruto's hand from his arm. He tried to sit up, but immediately became light-headed.

"You sure you're fine?" Naruto asked. "You look pale."

"I can grab you some water if you want," Ino offered.

"I'll get it for him." Karin hurried into the kitchen.

Sai was the only one who didn't seem to be making a big deal about it.

"Just give him some space, Naruto," he said. "He's fine."

Naruto didn't look so sure, but, thankfully, he did get to his feet so he wasn't right in Sasuke's face anymore. Karin was back, too, and when she handed Sasuke a glass of water, he nodded his gratitude. While he drank from the cup, Naruto pressed the back of his hand to Sasuke's forehead.

"You don't seem warm." Naruto pulled his hand away before Sasuke had a chance to snap at him. "Bad dream?"

He licked his lips, staring silently before answering, "I don't remember."

"It's close to 2 a.m. I can take you home, or you're welcome to stay the night again. I kinda think you should just stay."

Normally, Sasuke would've insisted that he go home, but he felt so damn lethargic and dizzy that moving around might've made him feel worse.

"I can take the couch," he said. "Your bed was too crowded with three people in it."

"Yeah, but it gets drafty in here at night, so if you're gettin' sick, then you should take the bed. I'll sleep on the couch."

Sasuke's gaze drifted to Sai, but the other man's expression was unreadable.

"It's settled then," Naruto said softly, having witnessed their exchange and apparently assuming the wrong thing again. "You guys can have the bed. I'll take the couch. The girls can have the air mattress. Is that cool with everyone?"

Sasuke was set to argue, but Sai beat him to it.

"Naruto, you can have the bed. I'll take the couch."

"Huh? Why?" Naruto asked.

"Isn't this what happened last night?" Karin huffed, setting her hand on her hip. "Why are you guys always arguing about who's going to sleep where?"

"It is strange," Ino said. "But Sasuke should definitely take the bed. Come on, Karin, let's blow up the mattress and let the boys figure it out."

They left, and Sasuke was annoyed at just how oblivious Naruto could be.

"I'll go help them," Sai offered.

Naruto turned around. "You're leavin', too?"

"Like I said, I'm happy to take the couch. Let me know what you two decide." Sai headed down the hallway, leaving them alone.

Naruto stood in front of him, hands jammed inside the pockets of his jeans. He'd put on a black hoodie whenever they got back. Sasuke thought he looked very young whenever he wore one.

"What's up?" Naruto asked. "I thought maybe you'd like to share the bed with Sai? Y'know. Before he went home."

"You're frustrating, you know that?" Sasuke asked.

"What? Why?" He looked genuinely confused.

"I'm not - " Sasuke rubbed his head in frustration. "I'm just not interested in Sai that way."

"Hm. I guess... I'm confused then, 'cause every time I turn around you two look like you're into each other."

"That's - " He sighed. "I'll be blunt. I'd rather share a bed with you than him."

Naruto appeared surprised. "Okay... if you're sure. I'm sorry. I really thought there was somethin' goin' on between you."

"Hardly," he said. "I wouldn't want to take him away from you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Are you sure you don't want anything else? Tea? Or, if your head hurts, I have some Tylenol."

"I'm fine," he repeated.

"Okay. I won't keep buggin' you about it. If you want a shower, go ahead. I'll find somethin' for you to wear."

A shower sounded kind of good. It would take some effort on his part, but he also felt gross from being in that bar.

"I'll take you up on that offer at least," he said. "If you don't mind."

Naruto grinned. "Nope, not at all."

"More Good Samaritan duties?"

Naruto laughed, and as he did, ran a hand through his hair. "It is one of my favorite passages."

"You really do like Luke, don't you?"

"I do. I like the stories that involve Jesus havin' to spell out for others how to _not_ be an asshole. Speaking of, I have to get up early and make an appearance at the morning service. You could come if you want."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"No pressure," Naruto said. "Thought you might wanna go."

"We'll see."

"C'mon. I'll find you some sweats and a shirt."

"Very generous," Sasuke murmured.

On their way to the bedroom, Naruto popped his head into the second, smaller bedroom to see how the girls were doing.

"You girls doin' alright?"

"We're good," Ino told him with a smile, so they carried on to the bedroom, where Sai was standing by the dresser. He had a framed picture in his hand.

Sai looked over his shoulder at them as they came in. "Did you decide?"

"Sasuke's gonna sleep in the bed with me if that's cool," said Naruto. "That way I can keep an eye on him."

"I figured." Sai set down the frame. "At least I got to share a bed with you last night."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I'm sure I'll be able to visit you guys soon. Maybe in February."

Sai smiled. "That would be nice."

"So, Sasuke's gonna take a shower. I gotta find him some clothes." He brushed past Sasuke and went to the dresser, where he pulled open the drawers and found a couple of things.

There was an obvious feeling that Sai wasn't entirely pleased by these arrangements, but for whatever reason had decided to remain agreeable. He almost felt bad because he knew that Sai probably wanted to sleep alone with Naruto tonight. However, Sasuke could be selfish, too.

Naruto returned to him with the clothes. "I already put some towels and rags in there. Use whatever you want."

"Thanks," he said. "I won't be long."

"Take your time." Naruto smiled and shifted on his feet. He tucked his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie. "I always feel better after a hot shower."

"You're bipolar," Sasuke told him. "I swear."

Sai gave a snort.

" _What_?" Naruto scoffed at the both of them. "I'm bein' nice."

"You weren't very nice when you were drinking earlier," Sai reminded him. "We're going to have to put you in a 12 Step program."

"Shut up." Naruto went over to Sai and beat up on him for a while until the older man pushed Naruto down onto the bed.

Sasuke watched their playfighting with some level of jealousy, and he swore Sai shot him a very smug look before finally deciding to go into the bathroom to take his shower.

Relieved to have some privacy, he set the clothes on the sink counter and grabbed a towel from off the rack. The bathroom was a little tight, but it was adequate. They'd painted this today, too, apparently. Now it was more of a cream color when before it had been a dark blue. The shaggy rug on the tile was new, as well.

After stripping out of his clothes, he gave the mirror a glance, the silver chain standing out against his skin. He tugged at it, half-remembering parts of his dream from earlier, before finally starting the shower and stepping inside the tub.

* * *

He didn't take a very long shower in case someone else wanted to use it. When Sasuke returned to the bedroom, Naruto and Sai were sitting close to each other on the foot of the bed, quietly discussing something - at least until they noticed Sasuke. Instantly, Naruto spared him a smile.

"Did the shower help?"

Sasuke's gaze strayed to Sai for a second, then back to Naruto. "It did, thanks."

"Do you want me to help you put the sheets and blankets on the couch?" Naruto asked Sai.

"I think I can handle it," said Sai. "I know where everything is." He got to his feet and after giving Naruto a fond pat on the head, pocketed his hands, and came to a stop when he reached Sasuke's side. "Goodnight, Sasuke."

"Goodnight," he mumbled and tried not to grit his teeth when Sai knocked into his shoulder.

Sasuke glanced at Naruto after Sai was gone. The other man had a strange look on his face that he couldn't quite read other than Naruto seemed to be trying to work something out in his head.

"You sure about the sleeping arrangements?" Naruto asked once more.

"Ask me again, and I'm stuffing a sock in your mouth."

"Whose sock?" Naruto smiled. "My sock? Could be worse."

Sasuke just glared.

"Well, I guess it's my turn to change. Sai and I got to talkin' about stuff. I think the girls are already asleep, and," Naruto checked his watch, "I have to be up in four hours." He stood and went around the bed to pull the covers back. "Feel free to get in."

Sasuke moved to the other side of the bed while Naruto opened and closed a couple of dresser drawers. Much to his surprise, Naruto started pulling off his sweatshirt and shirt while Sasuke slipped under the covers. Was it normal for a straight man to undress like this in front of a gay man? Honestly, he wasn't sure since he didn't have a lot of straight male friends.

In order to keep himself from staring, especially as Naruto began taking off of his jeans, Sasuke checked his phone. There were two messages: one from his mother and one from a guy he hooked up occasionally with at college. He responded to his mother, at least letting her know he was staying the night at Naruto's, and then the other he could reply to in the morning. By the time he'd sent the text to his mother, Naruto was now dressed in a San Diego Chargers' shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants.

"I feel wasted," Naruto grumbled as he shoved his day clothes into the hamper. "Is it cool if I turn the light off?"

"...Sure."

Naruto went to flip the switch and then felt around in the dark until he was on the other side of the bed. He crawled onto it, immediately turning on his side to face Sasuke. Meanwhile, Sasuke hit the power button on his phone, or else he wouldn't have a charge in the morning. He set it on the floor where he wouldn't accidentally step on it.

"So, did you have fun tonight?" Naruto asked, tone casual. "You seemed more into it tonight than last night."

"Did I?" He shifted beneath the covers so that he could lie on his back.

" _I_ thought so."

Sasuke could sense that Naruto seemed restless. He kept shifting around underneath the covers. "I thought you said you were tired."

"I am. Maybe I have a lot on my mind. I dunno. But it feels good to be in bed."

Sasuke tried to make out his expression in the dark. "If I'd known you were going to do work on the house today, I would have helped. I said I would… so if there's more to be done, I can help you once your friends are gone."

Softly, Naruto laughed, which was irritating given that it felt extremely awkward for him to say even that much.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"I dunno. You seem... Who knows?" Naruto flopped onto his back this time. "You're a hard one to figure out, Sasuke."

"I didn't know you were trying to figure me out, _Naruto_."

"I am." Naruto got on his side and propped his head up with his right hand. "I meet new people all the time, y'know, and most of the time I can read people pretty well. Their motivations and stuff. I can tell when people are lying and when they're sincere, and then there are people like you and Sai."

"You mean homosexuals?" He asked dryly.

"No, asshole." Naruto sighed. "Before, were you... having a bad dream?"

"You asked me that already."

"I know, but now that we're alone, I thought you might want to talk about it."

"I don't." He shut his eyes. "Just go to sleep, Naruto."

"How am I supposed to fall asleep if I'm worried about you?"

"Then don't worry about me." He looked over at him.

Naruto smiled. "You realize who you're talkin' to, right?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Don't meddle."

"Fine. Then, I wanna ask you somethin'."

"I don't guarantee I'll answer."

"When you and Sai were alone at the bar. What did you two talk about? I'm tryin' to understand what's goin' on between you two. You... act like you don't like him, and sometimes he says stuff, too... but at least _twice_ I've caught the two of you - "

"What is it you _really_ want to ask?" Sasuke cut him off, already annoyed with this topic.

"If you don't wanna go out with him because he lives in another state, then I can - "

"How many times do I need to tell you I'm not interested?"

"But - "

"The kiss, as I told you, was a mistake. He came onto me. Tonight he did the same. I shot him down both times."

"Hm." Naruto didn't sound as though he believed him, which was supremely annoying because he'd like to think that he had better taste than that. As good looking as Sai was, Sasuke preferred somebody more -

"Naruto," he said.

"Yeah?"

"If I... was to go on a date with Sai, or, not so much a date, but let's say he and I were to have sex. How would that make you feel?"

"'How would that make me feel?'" Naruto repeated. "What you two do is between the two of you, and not any of my business."

"It really doesn't bother you?"

"What...doesn't?"

"The idea of two men being together. Sexually."

"I thought we already had this conversation the first night you stayed. You know, after you proceeded to try and piss me off by doin' whatever it was you were tryin' to do."

"Do you even know what I was trying to do? You talk about trying to figure me out, and that I'm similar to someone you've claimed to be your best friend, but all I was attempting to do was hurt you. To make you feel the same pain that I was feeling. That's all it was. How you can say you want to get to know someone like me, I don't understand it."

Naruto was quiet for a while, and Sasuke thought maybe he was angry with him.

"Sasuke," he said eventually, and in that church tone he tended to use sometimes.

"So help me if you refer to me as a lost sheep, I _will_ push you out of the bed."

Naruto let out a very sudden, very loud laugh.

"It wasn't _that_ funny," he muttered.

"Sorry. I couldn't help but picture you and Sai as little black sheep. Ah." He wiped at his eyes. "I... guess because I know how upset you were that night... I find it hard to be mad. I'm not thrilled you thought the best course of action was to sexually assault me, but... I knew where your heart was at, so..."

"Then." He swallowed. "I apologize for that."

"Okay. That means a lot. Thank you." Naruto rolled onto his stomach, the sheets rustling about them. "...Ino mentioned you were askin' about me tonight. If there's anything I can answer, I'd be happy to hear your questions."

It wasn't worth denying in his mind. "I wouldn't say I asked anything in particular, but I do think I learned more about you from Sai and Ino tonight than I have from you."

"I didn't know you were curious. I know you're not gonna be here much longer, but I'd like us to be friends. I like you, Sasuke. I'm tryin' not to get too attached because, honestly, I relate more to you than anyone else I've met in this town so far."

Naruto's words were so sincere, so thoughtful, and so straightforward, that Sasuke didn't immediately know how to process it. It was a little embarrassing for him, frankly.

"Sasuke?"

"I'm listening, idiot. I'm... I can't believe you can say such embarrassing things."

"Why is it embarrassing? It's embarrassing that I said I liked you?"

"It is, yes." He almost wanted to snap at him. "Think of the repressed household where I come from. Do you really see my family as the type to talk about feelings?"

"Hm. No, I suppose not, but I don't really talk about that stuff with my dad either. Mom, maybe. But that was a long time ago. I kinda think that it's _because_ of my relationship with my dad that I like to be open with the people I feel... close to?"

"How can you feel close to me when we barely know each other?"

"I... don't know."

Sasuke let out a sigh and turned over so that he had his back to Naruto. "You're frustrating."

"You always say that." Naruto poked him in the back. "You should come with me to the service. Sai already told me he's not gonna go. Don't make me go by myself. Sasuke." He poked him again. " _Sasuke_."

"Whining like a child may work on your other friends, but it's not going to work on me."

"Harsh."

Sasuke sighed. "Listen. I - " But, he stopped. When was the last time he'd spoken like this to someone? He couldn't remember. They were bickering, but he wasn't overly annoyed. When they'd first met, Naruto had seemed almost... perfect? Obviously, he wouldn't be, but Sasuke had truly thought that Naruto was on another level. More and more, though, he thought of Naruto as a lot more grounded and relateable. Naruto swore, drank, flirted with women, and had apparently locked lips with a guy at least once. Even so, there was still this light about him. He didn't want to say innocence. Maybe earnest optimism was a better description? Those times that Naruto seemed down or dark or preoccupied only somehow made him more alluring in Sasuke's eyes. It had him itching to find out more about him.

"How long did you say you and Ino dated?" Sasuke asked.

"Uh. Six months. Why?"

"Was that before or after you met Sai?"

"Hm. I transferred into the same high school as Ino maybe midway through freshman year, so... I met Ino first, but I didn't know her that well other than the few times we bumped into each other at parties. Pretty sure I met Sai that same year. I think we were at a mutual friend's house, and he was havin' a party. Sai and I ended up stayin' up late, so we got to talking about things, and after that, I think we became friends."

"He said he came out to you that night," Sasuke recalled, having noticed Naruto left that out as a detail.

"He did. I guess he told you that?"

"He did. He said he tried to kiss you."

"Ah, that." Naruto rubbed at his cheek. "I _told_ you I made out with dudes."

"That's a slightly different take on the story."

Naruto sighed. "I can't believe he told you that, but yeah. Sure. He came out to me, and then he kissed me."

"You told him you had a girlfriend. Was that true?"

"Yeah, I was datin' one of Ino's friends. She's sort of the reason I ended up dating Ino the following year."

Sasuke nodded. "Ino said she thought your father didn't like her very much."

"Did she?" This comment seemed to trouble Naruto somewhat. "Considerin' you've never asked me much about myself since we've known each other, can I ask: why the sudden curiosity?"

"I'm..." He looked over at Naruto, studying him seriously. "Also trying to wrap my head around you."

Naruto, even with half of his face smashed into the pillow, started to grin. "Yeah?"

"You find that flattering?"

"I do," he answered. "Yeah."

"You don't even know my motives." Sasuke frowned. "Maybe I'm only asking to find some trace of hypocrisy."

"Oh, hm. Well, that sucks. But, I suppose that's natural. Considerin' what you've gone through, I'm not sure I'd be able to - " Suddenly, Naruto stopped. "Nevermind."

"What were you going to say?"

"It's nothing." Naruto yawned. "I'm getting tired is all. I don't remember what I was gonna say."

Sasuke didn't believe him.

"Trust is...," Naruto lowered his voice to a whisper. "It's hard to earn back once you've lost it."

"Trust or faith?" He asked.

"Faith...?" Naruto tugged on the blanket. "My faith, how I feel about it, that's between God and me as far as I'm concerned. It's not about other people, but trust..."

He trailed off, and Sasuke got the sense that maybe it was a topic he should let go of for now. After all, it was rather unlike him to show this much interest in another person, but Naruto was just so... Sasuke hadn't met someone like him before. Or had he? In a few ways, maybe he did remind him of Gaara, but they weren't similar at all. Gaara was so...

He was Sasuke's ideal. The way he remembered him felt enshrined in his memories. He envied it in a way. Gaara was stuck in that time, when they were just two teenagers with dreams of getting out of this town. When no obstacles seemed insurmountable, and when he died - the way that he died - it skewed things for Sasuke. Forever. Afterward, everything changed, and sometimes this small bit of light he held onto... it would've felt better if it went out for good.

If he knew whether Naruto had ever struggled with his faith, perhaps he could've understood this anguish better. But if the loss of his mother hadn't shaken Naruto's faith, then what would? He didn't know what his mother's death had to do with trust, or whether that's what Naruto was even referring to, but he supposed it was just one more facet to the other man that he would need to figure out.

"Naruto," he said.

"Hm?" Naruto sounded like he was half-asleep.

"I'll go with you tomorrow."

"Where?"

"To church," he said irritably.

"Really?" Naruto momentarily lifted himself up on an elbow. "You'll go to the service with me?"

"Sure. Why not. What else do I have to do? It's better than waking up and having to talk to Sai while you're gone."

"Heh." Naruto grabbed him on the arm and shook him. "I'm glad you're goin'. That makes me happy."

"I suppose I owe you... for the other night."

"Hm? You don't owe me anything..."

Sasuke didn't respond, and, after a while, it appeared Naruto had fallen asleep. He, on the other hand, was left to his thoughts, wondering what dreams would come when he closed his eyes this time.


	8. Chapter 8

_Three and a half years ago_

"This is really good."

Sasuke looked up from his sketchpad. "You know I'm nowhere near as good as you are."

Gaara hopped up on the tailgate of his truck to sit beside him. It was late spring, and they were parked near the cemetery 30 minutes outside of town, underneath the shade of an old ash tree. The spot could only be reached via a dirt road, and there were no houses for several miles. Leaning against Sasuke, Gaara snatched the pad from his hand, scrutinizing the sketch closely. He never knew he had much interest in art and drawing until Gaara started sharing some of his own sketches. His boyfriend didn't have a problem instructing him either and was the one to first buy Sasuke a set of expensive pencils. He was just now beginning to get into painting, too, but he wasn't very skilled at it.

"The shadow here is off," said Gaara. "Look at the lighting there." He pointed at the rickety fence that held back the nearby field of wheat. "Your crosshatching is getting better, though. It gives the wood texture, see."

A lazy breeze floated through, and Sasuke glanced up, catching the way it caused Gaara's bangs to scatter across his forehead. On impulse - as he didn't often show his affection through physical gestures - Sasuke used his fingers to comb it to the side.

Gaara stopped explaining long enough to look at him, smirk, and lean in for a kiss.

"Consider that your reward for improving," he said to Sasuke.

"That's all I get?" He took back his sketchpad and set it in his lap.

"Did you have something else in mind?"

"I don't think having sex near the cemetery is going to do much for me."

"Maybe a rain check then." Gaara checked his watch. "I'm meeting my brother in a little while. I wouldn't have enough time to do that type of activity justice."

"Quick and dirty has never bothered me." Purposely, Sasuke leaned back with his arms behind him and tilted his head.

"Tease." Gaara sighed. "Maybe I can tell Kankurou to fuck off."

"You might as well," Sasuke replied, "Since I think he and your sister are afraid of you."

"I think I've gotten much better since then, don't you?"

Sasuke hummed. "Probably. Then again, I like that delinquent side of you."

"Like I've always said." Gaara knocked into his shoulder. "Dating me is clearly your way of getting back at your father."

Sasuke frowned. "I don't see how, considering he doesn't even know."

"Ah, but it's enough _you_ know."

He knew his boyfriend was teasing, but the topic still irritated him. The both of them were quiet for a while, Sasuke mostly because he was brooding, and Gaara - he had that far off look he got sometimes while gazing toward the field.

"Maybe we should go on a road trip this summer," he suddenly murmured.

Sasuke didn't immediately reply.

"I don't really think you're rebelling against your dad by dating me," said Gaara. "I was joking, Sasuke."

"Forget it." He set his sketchpad to the side. "So where is it we're going?"

"Phoenix? Salt Lake City? We could even go to Vegas."

"What's the point in going to Las Vegas when we're 16?"

Gaara shrugged. "I don't think it matters where we go, especially if it's somewhere neither of us has been before."

"There'll be plenty of time to go wherever," he said. "Once we're in college. When we graduate, I want to travel around the world."

"I know. I think that would suit you."

"It's what you've said you wanted to do." Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him since it sounded like he wasn't interested.

"I don't know what I want, but if I can help you do what you want, then I think I'd be satisfied."

"Hn." Sasuke reached for his hand and laced their fingers together. "The future will come soon enough."

"Hopefully not too soon." Gaara squeezed his hand.

Sasuke didn't know what he meant by that, but it didn't matter since the moment felt warm and comfortable. Arguing wouldn't have been worth it.

"So, should we get going?" Gaara asked.

"You're driving."

"You know. I like that you still come here and bring your brother flowers. I like that side of you, Sasuke."

"It's only natural," he said, embarrassed. "Mother insisted anyway. She's the one who bought them. She said to say thanks for driving me all the way out here."

"I'm sure she wouldn't be thanking me if she actually knew what I did to her little boy when she wasn't looking."

"Gross," he said. "Can you leave my mother out of it?"

"I already know she isn't a fan of me. Since I'm the heathen that won't ever go to church."

"Consider yourself lucky." Sasuke frowned. "If I could skip out, too, I would."

"No you wouldn't. You enjoy it. Maybe not that closed-minded pastor, but... you're into it. It's cool."

"Whatever. I should just tell them I don't want to go."

"Do what you want." Gaara hopped of the back of the truck, dusting his hands down the side of his jeans before slipping them into his pockets.

Sasuke was reluctant to leave this peaceful place and go back to town, but it might be strange if they were gone too long. He picked up his pad and pencil and went around to the passenger's side of the truck. The wind, making a sound like a low whistle, caused the leaves in the tree to flutter. Gaara turned the ignition and hit the windshield wiper switch when there was a giant green grasshopper sitting on top of one. They both strapped on their seatbelts. Gaara turned on the radio station; an old country song was playing.

"I like this song," said Gaara.

Sasuke made a noncommittal noise as they pulled out onto the dirt road and headed back to town, a cloud of dirt kicking up a storm behind them.

* * *

When the alarm went off at 6 a.m., Sasuke immediately regretted saying he would go with Naruto to church. He pulled the pillow over his head, and Naruto was probably content to let him skip out, but Sasuke didn't like to go back on his word. By the time he dragged himself out of bed, Naruto was already dressed in a pair of khakis, a nice shirt, and was knotting a tie in front of the full-length mirror near the closet.

"You don't have to go," Naruto said.

"I'm going," he replied, rubbing at his eyes. "Let me borrow a sweater."

"Sure. You can go through my closet while I brush my teeth." He left the bedroom, and closed the door very quietly behind him.

Sasuke could barely see, so he went over to flip the light switch. He returned to the closet and started rooting through Naruto's clothes - sweaters, hoodies, jackets. He settled on a plain black sweater that he could wear with his jeans from yesterday. There was no reason for him to dress as formally as Naruto. Just as he was buckling his belt, Naruto slipped back in, smelling of that familiar cologne. Both of them were tired, so there wasn't much conversation.

When he was finished dressing, he went into the bathroom, and as he had no toothbrush, he used a considerable amount of mouthwash, put about three minutes worth of effort into his hair, and was, basically, ready to go once he put on his shoes.

"Ready?" Naruto asked after tucking his wallet in his back pocket. "You don't need your phone, do you? I saw it on the floor."

Sasuke had almost forgotten. "No... I'll get it when I come back."

"You're coming back?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Naruto shrugged. "Cool with me. Maybe we'll get lucky, and they'll have made us breakfast by then."

"Hn."

They were careful not to make too much noise as they crept down the hallway. Sai was presumably asleep on the couch. After grabbing their coats from the closet, they headed outside. It wasn't too cold, but he did put on his scarf and gloves. It wouldn't be a problem walking the few blocks to the church.

"I... am so fucking tired," Naruto muttered.

Sasuke would've laughed, but he could barely comprehend the sentence Naruto had just spoken.

"Remind me not to go out again the night before a service," he told Sasuke. "Why do I do that to myself?"

Sasuke glanced at him. Naruto, for all his complaints about lack of sleep, looked as good as usual. He had on that same stupid skull cap that always brought out the blue in his eyes.

"Maybe Sai's right," he said. "Maybe you really should be put in a 12 Step program."

"Ha! He's rubbin' off on you, that bastard."

As they passed someone's fence, Naruto scooped up a handful of snow.

"Throw that at me and die," Sasuke warned.

"You're not much of a morning person, are you?" Naruto grinned at him, and without bothering to pack the snow, simply threw it at his chest.

Sasuke glared.

"What?" Naruto asked. "You threw one at me the other day. When I was diligently workin' on clearin' my neighbor's driveway."

"Must you boast about all of your good deeds?" He smirked, though.

"Uh, yeah. How else am I gonna impress you? You're so damn hard to please."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "So what's on the agenda for today's service? Obviously your father is nothing like the town's previous pastor."

"Hm. I dunno. I didn't get to meet him before he passed away, but judgin' from what you told me, I suppose that's for the best."

Sasuke stopped walking and looked at him. "Can you say things like that?"

Naruto paused ahead of him. "Why not? I dunno how to tell you this, Sasuke, but not everyone who goes to church is a saint, be it parishioner or priest."

"That's a very heretical thing to say, don't you think?" Sasuke thought he sounded especially bitter, even if it was for his sake.

Naruto shrugged. "Maybe I'm just not in the mood to have any sympathy this morning. It's probably this roaring hangover I have and that whole two hours of sleep I got."

He continued walking, and Sasuke, though still surprised by Naruto's cynicism, followed along in silence. As they approached the church, there was already a crowd entering through the front. Naruto muttered something about needing to find his father, but he'd catch up with Sasuke before the start of the service. Sasuke, trying as hard as he could to avoid making eye contact with anyone, hung his coat up on a rack in the lobby. His parents usually went to the later service, so he doubted he'd run into them.

After walking into the main worship room, he took a seat on the far edge of one of the pews in the middle. Naruto and his father were up at the front, speaking with a small group of people - mostly middle-aged women. However, a couple of the children Sasuke recognized from the Christmas program walked up to Naruto and started tugging on him until he picked up the little girl with dark hair and pigtails. A few more children who'd, at first, taken up seats in the pews decided to sneak away and attack Naruto, too. Soon he was being dragged over to the piano where requests for him to play _Mary Had a Little Lamb_ were made. It was kind of amusing, really.

While Naruto was otherwise preoccupied with the children, Sasuke simply slouched against the pew. He eyed the Bible sitting on the shelf attached to the pew in front of him. It had been a while since he'd read it. He used to like reading a lot of the stories when he was little. Just like Naruto, he'd also preferred to read the stories about Jesus. Those were the ones that always made the most sense to him. The violence and blood, despite how often the former pastor use to praise those passages' importance, never quite fit Sasuke's idea of what God might really be like. When he was very young, he didn't get why God would want people to be so fearful of him.

Usually the things he knew better than to tell his parents, he would tell to God. Not always out loud, but in his head. When he lay in bed at night, he would tell God about his day and about his thoughts, or ask him questions. He never received answers or anything, but there was comfort to be found in what eventually became a habit. At least until he started dating Gaara. Gaara didn't attend church or believe in anything like Sasuke did, but he never made fun of Sasuke for it.

Still, he supposed that was the phase where he became a little more cynical, especially when the pastor would go on his rants about homosexuality. Sasuke closed his eyes for a second. The room felt warm, especially as more bodies began to fill the space. Next he knew, someone was tapping him on the shoulder.

"Falling asleep in church?" Naruto nudged him until he moved over. "You're goin' to hell for that."

"Put it on the list," he said, scooting to the side. "Did you have fun chatting with the children?"

"I did," Naruto whispered. "Sometimes I'd rather talk to them than the adults."

"I can see that about you."

Naruto nudged him again. "Dad says the service should be short. He was excited that you came. He's used to my friends not goin', so lucky you. Maybe you can be his new favorite."

"Who was his favorite before me?" Sasuke asked.

"That's a good question."

"I'm sure my mother will be thrilled."

"Ha, yeah." Naruto picked up the Bible and thumbed through it. "They usually come to the later service, don't they?"

"As far as I know, yes. I'm sure my father was at the station late last night."

"What's that like?" Naruto asked. "Havin' a police chief as a father?"

"It can't be any better or worse than having a pastor for a father."

"Hm. I wonder."

Sasuke glanced at him sidelong, suddenly hit with a whiff of Naruto's cologne.

"What?" Naruto caught him looking.

"Do you always wear that cologne?"

"Uh. I guess. Why? Is it too strong?"

"No." Sasuke shook his head. "I like it."

The blond man smiled. "That may be the first compliment you've ever given me."

"I thought that's what Sai was for."

"Oh, here we go." Naruto slipped the Bible back onto its shelf. "I wonder if he'll even be up by the time we get home. He usually likes to sleep in."

Sasuke didn't ask why Naruto was so familiar with Sai's sleeping patterns, but maybe good friends knew those sorts of things about one another. Gaara had been his best friend before they got together, and Sasuke'd never shared a similar relationship with anyone since then. He wasn't sure if he could call any one other person a best friend. Friends, maybe. Acquaintances? Sure.

When Naruto's dad walked over to the pulpit and stood behind it, the room quieted down. He'd noticed that Minato liked to keep the services fairly informal. The older man asked everyone to rise, recited the Morning Prayer, and then everybody was allowed to be seated. He said he hoped everyone's Christmas Day had been cheerful, and so on, and also thanked everyone for being so gracious toward himself and to his son, allowing them into their homes on Christmas day.

Sasuke, though, became slightly embarrassed when Minato picked him out of the crowd and let people know how hospitable his parents had been to invite them to Christmas dinner and how glad he was that friendships were able to be borne from such encounters. Naruto didn't seem to mind. In fact, he appeared to brighten up a little despite the fact that the whole room was staring at them. Then Minato moved on to the Lord's Prayer after having everyone stand again.

Together, he and Naruto - along with everyone else - recited the words that he knew so well from heart. It was calming in a way that he'd forgotten it could be. The service, which lasted a little less than an hour, was peppered with personal anecdotes that made a lot of the parishioners laugh. Some stories were a little more serious. He also threw in a parable for the children about the Persistent Neighbor. It ended up being the same story Naruto quoted to him that first night.

 _For everyone who asks receives,_  
 _and the one who seeks finds,_  
 _and to the one who knocks,_  
 _it will be opened._

Sasuke felt a swell of emotion at hearing the words again. He looked to Naruto. Naruto smiled at him and put an arm around his shoulders, resting it along the back of the pew.

For the first time in so long, Sasuke felt a lightness fill the void he'd become accustomed to. He couldn't say the church had won him back completely, but it was a peace he welcomed. Somehow it was much easier to digest with Naruto sitting beside him. He wasn't brainwashed like some. Naruto wasn't too different from him, really, so Sasuke found contentment in the fact that it was okay to feel this way... and not feel foolish about it. For wanting and hoping for something better and bigger than himself.

If he wasn't so adept at hiding his emotions, he might've wept again, like he did that night when Naruto held him in his arms. From then on, he thought he should be more grateful toward Naruto. Maybe more understanding, as well. Instead of looking for his flaws, Sasuke thought it might be okay if he simply wanted to get to know Naruto better. Maybe it wouldn't be so horrible if they really did become friends.

After all, he'd be going back to school soon, so what was there to lose, really?

* * *

They were quiet on the way back. It had started to snow, and Naruto appeared in a chipper mood, further confirming Sasuke's theory of him being bipolar. After the service, Minato had been swarmed by his female admirers, so their goodbyes consisted of a wave from the rear of the room. Naruto was also accosted by a fair amount of his fangirls, specifically a couple of girls that Sasuke did vaguely remember from high school and had apparently been at the bar last night.

"I guess you'll have your pick," said Sasuke. "When I'm gone, you can spend your time with all of your church groupies."

"Groupies?" Naruto repeated. "You're pretty harsh, Sasuke. My _dad_. Now _he's_ the one with groupies."

They shared a look, and both of them laughed.

"How did your mom put up with it?" He asked.

"Uh, well." Naruto scratched the back of his head and let out a long breath. "She didn't, really. My parents divorced when I was 10, although they were separated before that."

"I - " He didn't know what to say. "Sorry. I didn't realize they divorced before she passed away."

"It's not a fond memory, so it's not like I was gonna bring it up, but yeah."

Although he was pleased Naruto had told him something about his past, it didn't stop the moment from feeling slightly awkward.

"Is that the reason why you took your mother's name?" He asked.

"Sort of." Naruto held out his hand to catch the falling snow. "It's a long story. I lived with her after the divorce and up until she passed away. Then my dad decided to move to San Diego, so that's where we ended up before we came here."

He continued walking beside Naruto, the other man's expression both thoughtful and melancholy. "Where were you living before San Diego? You said you moved around a lot."

Naruto kicked a rock out into the street. "I was born in South Dakota, but then we moved to Tennessee when I was 2. Then I think it was Missouri, Oklahoma, Colorado, and Wyoming. When mom and dad got divorced, she and I moved to Vegas. She worked as a manager in one of the hotels. I remember at the time my dad wasn't too happy about that, but I really liked it there."

"You lived in Las Vegas?" Sasuke asked. "That's... pretty wild. I never would've imagined you there for some reason."

"Pastor's son living in the city of sin? Yeah, I think mom did that on purpose."

"Your father, did he...?" Sasuke didn't know how to politely phrase the question he wanted to ask.

"Hm?" Naruto regarded him curiously. "Did he what?"

"You were saying that it's typical for your father to have groupies, so I - "

"Oh. No. He didn't cheat on her. It was something else, but do you think we could not talk about it right now?"

"Yes." He flushed, embarrassed by his own audacity. "Sorry. I... don't know why I asked all of that. It's none of my business."

"I don't mind." Naruto smiled at him and, after a sigh, folded his arms behind his head. "I just... was happy that you came to church, and you looked like you were into it, so. I don't wanna start weighing you down with my childhood baggage."

"Why? You listened to me. And you must listen to other people talk about themselves all of the time," he said, pulling up the collar of his coat as they got caught up in a gust of wind.

"Yeah, but I like doin' that, Sasuke. For me it's easier to listen to other people than talk about myself. Plus it's just a habit. I'm not opposed to talkin' to you about things. There's probably a better time for it. Heh. Preferably when I've been drinking."

"Maybe Sai is right," he remarked. "Should we hold an intervention?"

"You two are so alike," Naruto mumbled. "I wish you'd just screw and get it over with."

Sasuke pushed him so that Naruto stumbled part of the way into the road, but he only laughed and hopped onto the sidewalk again.

"I have a feeling neither of you would be too happy if he and I really did have sex," Sasuke admitted.

Naruto's eyebrows went up. "Why do you keep sayin' stuff like that?"

"Do you want me to be honest?"

The other man nodded. "Yeah, definitely. I won't get offended."

Sasuke was skeptical, but Naruto had asked for it. "You and Sai have an oddly close relationship. I think one or both of you have feelings for each other."

Naruto almost seemed to flinch. "Wow, you really put that out there, didn't you?"

"You said you wouldn't get offended."

"I'm not... _offended_. Just. Curious. Y'know. As to why you'd think that."

"Observation," he answered. "I could be wrong. I don't have best friends, especially straight male ones, so maybe that's the sort of friendship that exists between a gay and straight man. I don't know."

Naruto sighed. "Can I ask you something now?"

"I suppose so."

"Whatever sort of relationship he and I have, if you're not interested in him, then why is it any of your business?"

Sasuke was surprised by Naruto's brusque tone. He found it interesting that Naruto didn't deny anything, but he also wondered if he might just be offended on Sai's behalf. In case it was the latter issue, he decided to clear the air.

"It's not that I don't think Sai is attractive, and certainly he has his good qualities, but... I just don't think he's my type."

"Okay." Naruto's tone was flat. "I'll make sure he gets the message."

Sasuke stopped them, grabbing hold of Naruto's jacket sleeve so that he could look at him directly. "I'm not purposely trying to offend you here. You said I should be honest. I hope you know it's very difficult for me to be open with other people, so this is my attempt at showing you that I - "

Except he didn't know how to finish that sentence. What was he trying to get across to Naruto exactly? They weren't even friends, were they? He didn't know what to call a relationship with someone else when they'd known each other less than a week. He wanted to treat Naruto like he would a friend, but he really didn't know what Naruto felt either. Did he really just pity Sasuke? Is that how he saw it? Had he just let him tag along so that he would feel included?

Naruto was waiting for him to continue, but he couldn't. He felt disappointed in Naruto, even though he knew Naruto had every right to his privacy. And, so what if Sasuke had opened up to him on Christmas Eve? Naruto wasn't obligated to return the favor just to sate his curiosity.

While he looked off to the side, frustrated with his own ineptitude at expressing himself, Naruto suddenly grabbed him by the wrist and began dragging him along the sidewalk.

"Sorry, Sasuke," he said. "I'm in a weird place right now. Seein' my friends again has thrown me off. Soon you'll be leavin', too. I just... am edgy. Have patience with me, okay? Give me a little time, and I'll talk to you about whatever you want to know. I like you, I do. Sai's important to me, and even tryin' to put what I feel for him into words is just... It's complicated."

Sasuke didn't try to fight Naruto's hold, although he ended up letting go by the time they reached the end of the block. There were several cars passing by, so they had to wait.

"You sure you're not interested in Sai?" Naruto asked quietly. "If I'm the only reason you don't want anything to happen - "

"That wouldn't be the only reason," Sasuke replied so Naruto wouldn't have to apologize again. "I could be attracted to him, but I think personality-wise, we might not be a very good match."

They started walking across the street, which was covered in muddy snow.

"Because you're so much alike?" Naruto asked.

"I wouldn't say we're _that_ much alike, but, yes, I do think we'd be at each other's throats. I don't date that often anyway, Naruto, and when I do, it's not like I'm looking for marriage material."

"Heh. Sure." He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Me either."

"Does Ino know about that?" Sasuke smirked when Naruto made a face at the question.

"Ino... is also very special to me. You definitely are not allowed to date her."

Sasuke put his hands up in a jokingly placating manner. "Shouldn't be a problem. I suppose she was your first time?"

He'd meant it as a sort of jab, not especially serious, but a strange shadow passed over Naruto's face, so much so that he seemed to stumble while walking.

"That was... a joke," he said.

"Yeah, um." Naruto shook his head. "I need to drink before the next time you're in one of your chattier moods."

Sasuke was almost offended. Every question felt like an unexpected landmine. He didn't even do this with people very often, and it was only his sense of humor to push the other person's boundaries. That's... kind of how he showed his affection as fucked up as that was to admit. Naruto, for all his "Come to Jesus" vibe, kept throwing up a wall between them.

For some reason, he'd assumed that Naruto was better off than him. Because he was so good with other people, because he could be calm, because he was always joking and smiling, and just... he never talked about himself or complained, really. Yet, it's not as if he'd failed to notice the way Naruto's friends attempted to lift him up at times. Or maybe he was reading too much into it?

But, how many times had he heard one of them mention that they were worried about Naruto being alone here. Was there more going on that he didn't know about? Or was it the result of Naruto moving around so much and also losing his mother? Surely that was enough to break anyone. Sasuke knew that he hadn't recovered from the loss of Gaara, so why would Naruto be any different just because he liked to joke around?

When they reached the house, it definitely felt as though their previous conversation had soured Naruto's mood. Once they were on the porch, he held the door open for Sasuke as they went inside. It smelled like someone was baking.

"Cinnamon rolls," Naruto muttered as he stamped his boots on the mat.

Sasuke did the same, and when he got out of his jacket, Naruto automatically took it from him and hung it in the closet.

"Come on," he said to Sasuke. "I want somethin' hot to drink."

There was the sound of banging of pans coming from the kitchen, and then Ino peeked her head around the corner. Warmly, she smiled at them.

"You're back! And Sasuke went with you? Wow, what a true friend. Unlike us heathens."

"Dad said to say hi," Naruto told her.

"I bet." Ino leaned against the doorway, her arms crossed. She was still in her pajamas.

Sasuke thought she looked even more attractive without makeup.

"By the way," she said and pointed to the mistletoe. "Look what I'm standing under."

"Of course. It's tradition." Naruto approached her and kissed her on the cheek before entering the kitchen.

"You, too." She pointed at Sasuke.

"I don't - " He started to argue, but seeing her determined look, Sasuke decided to go with it. "Fine."

He went up to her, and like Naruto had done, kissed her on the cheek.

"Good boy," she said, patting him on the back and then pushing him in through the kitchen, where everyone else had already gathered. "Now you can have a cinnamon roll."

* * *

For the rest of the morning, the group lounged about the house, eating cinnamon rolls that Ino and Karin made from scratch and talking about inconsequential things. Like he'd felt before, Sasuke sensed a warmth about Naruto and his group of friends. Their affection was genuine even when teasing one another - or in Karin's case: yelling. Sai seemed more quiet than usual and because Sasuke was a better observer than a talker, it didn't go without noticing that the older man's eyes strayed often to Naruto.

Naruto, obviously tired, was quiet, too. At least for him. He kept himself busy, though, by washing dishes or getting someone something to drink or eat, at least until Ino grabbed him by the arm and forced him to sit down at the table.

"You're making me nervous," she said. "Just relax."

Naruto began rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry." He shook out his shoulders. "I feel anxious today. Dunno why."

"Aw," said Karin. "It's because you're going to miss us, isn't it?"

"Obviously," he replied, smiling at his cousin.

Naruto then spared a look at Sai that Sasuke found - what was the best word?

Maybe he was just imagining things, but before he could sort it out, Sai spoke, distracting him from his line of thought.

"Sasuke," he said. "You must be looking forward to returning to school. I'm sure it's boring for you being stuck here in such a small town."

Sasuke regarded him coolly. His tone seemed sincere enough, which could be just as unsettling as when he was being a jerk.

"I am. I enjoy school," he answered, avoiding making eye contact with Naruto for some reason, "And, as you said, there's not much to do around here."

"When are you going back?" asked Ino. "I don't start classes again until the 18th."

"That's the end of our break, too I was planning on leaving after New Year's, but I did get a text this morning about a party at a friend's place. I'm considering going to that."

"Oh, that could be fun," said Ino. "I bet your mom will be disappointed you're leaving early."

"She'll survive." His tone was colder than necessary, but if he had to choose between staying here or returning to school, the choice should've been obvious.

"Poor Naruto," Karin teased. "Now all your playmates will be gone."

"Karin, you jerk," Ino scolded her.

"It's fine." Naruto waved it away while offering a smile. "Sasuke's probably better off goin' back. It's not that big of a deal. I keep pretty busy with the church, and there's still lots for me to do with the house."

"If you ask nicely," Sai said, "I don't mind staying a little longer and keeping you company."

Naruto, looking surprised, glanced at his friend. "What about work?"

Sai shrugged. "I'll take more vacation. Or quit."

"You can't do that." Naruto frowned. "I already stuck you with the full rent, so I know you can't afford to miss work. Plus, you like working there."

"You two used to be roommates?" Sasuke asked, unable to contain his surprise.

Naruto, appearing uncomfortable maybe, rubbed at his shoulder. "Er, well. Yeah. After I stopped going to my classes at the community college, I decided to crash with him since his place was close to my dad's church."

Sasuke hadn't asked about that either. It hadn't even occurred to him. After all, they were the same age. Ino was 20, too, and in school. Karin and Sai were a year older and had already graduated. Those two being roommates might explain their close friendship, but it also piqued his interest about... well. A lot more.

Not to mention he found himself unexpectedly disappointed with Naruto's nil reaction to his announcement of maybe leaving earlier than expected. Not that he'd even replied yet to Neji's text, but he'd impulsively wanted to throw that out there. But, if Sai was going to stay, then what did it matter whether Sasuke was here or not?

"Shut up," said Karin. "You know you can't stay so stop getting Naruto's hopes up."

"You guys act like I've never been alone before," Naruto grumbled. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Tch. There's definitely been times where we've thought you did, though." Karin cackled as she slipped her hair behind an ear and pushed her glasses up.

Ino sighed. "Honestly. I cannot figure out how the two of you could possibly be related. Naruto's so nice, and, Karin, you're so…"

"So, what?" Karin huffed, crossing her arms. "Besides. Sasuke's college isn't that far away. Why doesn't Naruto just go with him?"

Sasuke nearly choked on his own spit, and he certainly wasn't the only one who appeared surprised.

"As nice as that is for you to invite me to Sasuke's party with his friends, I've also got a service to attend on New Year's Eve." Naruto folded his arms on top of the table. "Did you think about that?"

"Your dad's always making you go to those. I'm sure he can let you off this one time," Karin argued.

"Karin. Could you try using your brain at least once in your life?" Sai asked her. "Naruto said he can't go. Not to mention Sasuke's clearly going back for a booty call."

"Jesus, Sai." Naruto lay his head on the table with a thud.

Sasuke glared at the older man. "Do you mind?"

"Mind that you've scheduled a booty call for New Year's? Not at all. In fact." Sai leaned forward. "I'm jealous."

"Cut it out, Sai. We were all gettin' along so well," Naruto groaned.

"Wait, are you going all the way back just to get laid? Like, for real?" Karin asked.

Now it was Ino's turn to groan. "Even if it is for a booty call," she snapped. "It's none of our business."

Sasuke didn't know what to say. He wasn't used to anyone - let alone a group of people - openly analyzing his sex life. He knew his cheeks felt hot, and he couldn't make eye contact with anyone at the moment, although his gaze eventually landed on Sai.

Asshole.

As if reading his thoughts, Sai smirked.

"Well, that's that," said Naruto. "Everyone has plans to do something. You guys'll be in San Diego. Sasuke will be back at school, and I'll be ringin' the New Year in with a bunch of kindergarteners. It's exactly as it should be."

He was starting to feel even more foolish for saying anything about the party. But Naruto not mentioning being Sai's roommate annoyed him. Why did Naruto have to play everything so close to his chest? It made Sasuke feel even more like Naruto was only humoring him by letting him hang out. Why did he have to always drag stuff out of him to learn anything? Then again, Naruto had told him to have some patience. What was the point, though? He wouldn't be staying here forever, and it was the first time he'd even been back to this town in a year.

"Ignore them, Sasuke," Naruto picked his head up off of the table. "They tease me all of the time, too. I swear it's how they show their affection."

"It's…" He dabbed his tongue along his lower lip. "Not a bad idea."

"What's not?"

"If you wanted. You could go with me. But. Like you said. You have a service. I wouldn't want to keep you from a rousing tribute of _Three Blind Mice_."

"Look at that," said Karin. "Sasuke invited you somewhere! Isn't that sweet?"

Her tone was sarcastic, but he was getting used to her rough manner of speaking. What was he doing, though, in inviting Naruto to go with him, and to Neji's party? What the fuck was he thinking? Naruto wouldn't go for it anyway considering how loyal he was to the church. More importantly, what would his mother say if he told her he was going back early? God help him if she started crying again. That would only piss his father off, too.

"You guys are bullying him," said Naruto. "Clearly Sasuke has plans."

"Naruto," he replied, getting annoyed at the amount of excuses he kept making on his behalf. "If I asked you to go, then I want you to go. You can take the train back… or if my mother throws a fit about me returning so soon, I'll drive you back myself."

"Your dad is going to shit himself, Naruto," Sai said.

"He would, yeah. You're right." Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "Uh. We can talk about it later. Or something."

"Might as well bring it up today when we go to his house to get the piano," Karin said.

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Ino exclaimed.

Naruto was starting to look super uncomfortable, so Sasuke hoped they would just drop it already. Luckily, his phone started vibrating in his pocket, which gave him an excuse to get up and go into the other room. It was his mother calling. The group in the kitchen was still being loud, however, so he had to go all the way to Naruto's room in order to have privacy.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Sasuke, dear. I feel like I've hardly seen you!"

"I'm at Naruto's, mother," he said. "Hanging out with his friends."

"I figured. Your father and I just got back from church, and Minato was telling me that you were there earlier. I'm so happy that Naruto's been able to get you going to the services again."

Sasuke walked over to Naruto's dresser, where he ran his eyes over the three framed photographs that had been set there. He'd seen Sai looking at them last night, but had never really noticed what they were of until now.

The first was of Naruto, maybe around the age of 14 or 15 with an attractive older woman who had long, red hair. Considering Karin's hair carried that same striking color, it didn't take much to deduce that they were related. Naruto's mother then? She was extremely beautiful. It looked like they were at the Grand Canyon. Naruto was wearing a blue ball cap and sunglasses. The older woman wore a straw hat and a t-shirt that read BADLANDS NATIONAL PARK.

The second was of Naruto and a group of people. There were two guys Sasuke didn't recognize, but Sai and Naruto were in the middle, and then Ino and Karin to Naruto's left. They looked… tan. The six of them were standing next to a volleyball net with the ocean rolling in behind, the sunset at their backs. It looked like a postcard for a tropical paradise.

The third frame held a photo of a small, chubby-cheeked child with very pale, almost white hair and amazingly sharp blue eyes. He was sitting on the lap of someone whose head had been cropped out by the photographer. Judging by the wrinkled hands keeping him in place, Sasuke guessed it might've been a grandfather?.

"Sasuke, did you hear me?"

Sasuke, not knowing when he'd picked it up, set the last frame back on the dresser.

"Sorry, mother. What did you say? It's loud here."

"I was asking if you were coming home soon because you have a guest."

"... _I_ do?" He blurted. "Who is it?"

"Well," his mother lowered her voice, "I answered the door and was very surprised to see that boy's brother standing there, but he asked if you were home for holiday break. I told him you were, but you were at a friend's. He said he was willing to wait."

Sasuke almost dropped the phone.

"Kankurou's there?" He asked, unable to comprehend how or why this was happening.

"Yes, that's his name. I hadn't thought about that family in a while. He's talking to your father now. They're in the living room. I made him some tea and told him I'd call you."

"I'll… I'll need to get a ride. Tell him I'll be there shortly. He can… wait in my room if he wants."

"Okay, dear. I'll tell him. Do you need me to come pick you up?"

"Uh, no." He rubbed at his chest. "I'll figure out something. I'll see you soon."

"Alright. Goodbye, Sasuke."

After hanging up, he nearly collapsed on the foot of the bed. He was staring off, which is why he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Naruto clearing his throat from the doorway.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop," Naruto said. "But I was comin' to find you - " He took a couple of steps toward the bed. "Everything okay?"

"Can you take me home?" He asked.

"Yeah. Of course." Naruto looked at the phone Sasuke continued to clutch in his hands. "Is somethin' wrong?"

Sasuke shook his head. "It's… I just have to get home."

"Okay. I'll get my keys and coat." Naruto turned to leave, but Sasuke called him back.

Naruto waited near the doorway. "Yeah?"

"Just you, okay. I… want you to drive me home. No one else."

Naruto nodded. "...Alright. No problem."

Once he was alone again, Sasuke closed his eyes, his head falling down against his chest. This was about the last thing he was ready to deal with; he hadn't seen Kankurou since before the funeral. Sasuke couldn't think of a single reason he'd be stopping by his house. A few minutes went by, and Naruto reappeared in the doorway. Sasuke hadn't so much as budged.

"Sasuke," he said gently. "I brought your boots and coat and everything. Will you… be comin' back later?"

"I… doubt it."

"Okay."

"It's… kind of an emergency," he said distractedly. Naruto looked sort of blurry, so Sasuke rubbed at his eyes. "I'll say goodbye to everyone."

"Sure. While you do that, I'll go start the car."

He nodded and slowly got to his feet before taking his coat and shoes from Naruto. After putting them on, he made his way to the kitchen, where he handed out his brief goodbyes. By then, he was able to make his expression a bit more neutral so that they wouldn't assume anything was wrong other than he needed to get home. The girls all hugged him and moaned about him not staying until they left. Sai was the one to walk him to the door.

"Are you okay?" Sai placed a hand on his shoulder. "You look pale, Sasuke. You're still not feeling well?"

"I'm fine," he said. Sai showing him actual concern only made him feel more anxious.

"I wanted to say more to you before we left, but apparently something's come up. I… hope you can be a good friend to Naruto. I'd appreciate it."

"Sure," he mumbled without really processing what was being said.

Then he was out the door, walking down the porch and toward the driveway, where Naruto was waiting and had the car running. He got in and strapped on his seatbelt. An old country song was playing on the radio. He was about to reach for the dial to turn it off, but as the song continued, he couldn't get himself to do it and, instead, dropped his hands in his lap.

"Seriously, Sasuke," Naruto said, his hand on the gear shift. "You okay?"

"Just… drive, would you?"

"Sure, yeah."

They backed out of the driveway, the car fishtailing some once they were on the road. Sasuke was looking out the window. He was appreciative of the fact that Naruto didn't hound him with questions. Even though Sasuke really did want to talk to him, he simply couldn't. He was still too shocked. It was already bad enough that the painful ache in his chest made it feel like he was dying. It was only a five-minute drive, so it wasn't long before they pulled up to Sasuke's house. Naruto parked at the bottom of his driveway.

"Call me later," Naruto told him. "If you want to."

Sasuke stared blankly at the front door of his house. "...Thanks for the ride."

"Sasuke - "

"I'll call you later," he interrupted him and opened the car door. "Have fun with your friends."

Before Naruto had a chance to say anything else, Sasuke got out and slammed the door shut behind him. Once inside, Sasuke took off his boots and put his coat away. He heard voices coming from upstairs and could smell something cooking, too. Maybe a pot roast, which was his dad's favorite. In the living room, he found his father in the reclining chair and his mother on the couch. Gaara's older brother Kankurou was standing next to the old bookshelf.

"Sasuke, there you are," said his mother, who got up to greet him with a hug. He wrapped his arms around her, eyes wandering first to his father… and then to Kankurou.

He hadn't seen him in more than four years. He looked clean cut, and his posture was stiff. If Sasuke had to guess, he'd say that he'd joined the Army at some point.

"I was just telling Kankurou about my time in the service," said Fugaku. "Not many men these days are brave enough to enlist and do what he's doing."

"Sasuke," said Kankurou. "Long time no see." He held out his hand.

Sasuke stared at it, but, after a few seconds, walked over to him and shook it firmly. He'd never known Kankurou all that well other than he and Gaara didn't always get along. Gaara didn't get along well with either of his siblings since they left home early on, which is why his boyfriend had always received the brunt of his father's abuse.

"Sasuke," said his father. "Don't mind us. If you want privacy, you can take Kankurou up to your room. We told him he's welcome to stay for dinner."

"Sure," he replied, trying to keep his voice even.

He pointed in the direction of the stairs, and Kankurou went ahead of him. In silence, they walked up to his bedroom. Sasuke closed the door so that they could have some privacy while Kankurou, after so many years, could tell him whatever it was that he'd come all of this way to say.

* * *

 **TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

After they stepped into his bedroom, Sasuke shut the door. His heart was racing and his palms were sweating. He didn't know why Gaara's brother would want to talk to him; in fact, he had no idea how much Kankurou knew about their relationship. Back then, he would've been aware Sasuke was friends with Gaara, but did he know they'd been more than that? Did he blame Sasuke for his brother's brutal murder? Had he come here to out him to his parents?

The strangest thoughts entered his mind as he felt the stir of panic. He remained by the door, watching anxiously as the dark-haired man walked to the window and stared out of it. Snow was falling, heavy and slow.

"Kankurou," he said, his hands fisted at his sides. "I hope you won't think me rude, but what exactly are you doing here?"

The young man remained looking out the window, and then suddenly pressed his fingertips to the glass.

"It's been years since I've stepped into this town," Kankurou murmured. "Like I was tellin' your father, I enlisted in the Army after the funeral. Temari doesn't live far from here. She has a family of her own now, children. It's hard to believe. I… came to visit him."

Sasuke cleared his throat. "You mean - ?"

"No." He turned around. "Not our father."

"You went to the cemetery." Sasuke nodded, though his stomach felt like it would turn.

"Do you ever go and visit him?" Kankurou asked.

Sasuke didn't know what kind of face he was making, but Kankurou offered a sad smile.

"I don't blame you. You two were close, weren't you? I didn't talk to my younger brother much even though I knew what dad was doing, but - " He took several steps closer, a hand outstretched to him, "I never would've thought our old man was capable of goin' that far. If I'd known. If Temari or I had known, we would've - "

Without realizing it, Sasuke raised his hands to his ears. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to know that there were other people who shared his guilt. Sasuke closed his eyes. How often had he thought of Gaara's last moments? Had he been afraid? Did he feel a lot of pain? Had he hoped someone would save him? Had he hoped Sasuke might come at the last minute to -

"Sasuke," said Kankurou. "I'm here because, _because_ \- "

There were tears in his eyes as he gazed pleadingly at him, wanting Sasuke to understand what even _he_ hadn't come to terms with yet.

"I can't." He shook his head. "I can't. Kankurou. I can't."

"I know it's none of my business, but my sister and I… we knew how much you meant to our brother. He didn't tell us, but the few times I saw the two of you together. Not to mention the sketchpad - "

Sasuke flinched. "What do you want?"

The man looked him square in the eye. "Your forgiveness. My brother's forgiveness. Although, it's too late for that."

"Why now?"

Kankurou pressed his lips together before answering, "I've been assigned my second tour of Afghanistan after the New Year, and to be frank, you never know when you're gonna come back in a wooden box. I enlisted because I wanted to forget. I wanted to get rid of the guilt, but every day I was out there in the desert, I thought of him. I wondered who would be here to put flowers on his grave, if anyone remembered or missed him besides me and Temari."

Sasuke tugged at the chain around his neck. "Every day," he said in a low voice. "I miss and think about your brother every day."

"I'm glad." Nodding, the other man smiled and wiped at his eyes. "I'm really glad to hear that, Sasuke."

"I've… not been to his grave much. I couldn't - " His gaze strayed to the window, where the wall of white clouded the view of the afternoon sky. "I couldn't see him like that."

"I regret not doing more. I should've called the police. I should've taken him away, but he insisted on staying in this God forsaken town."

"For me." The hand gripping the chain started to shake. "He stayed for me."

"There's nothing you could've done." Kankurou put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "I know this was selfish of me, and I wasn't sure you would be in town, but I figured since it was Christmas break, and your father's the chief of police now…"

He didn't know what to say. "I… I think there's _a lot_ I could've done."

"I, uh. I didn't want to bring this inside with your parents here, but if you're willing to accept it, I have something of Gaara's in my truck that I think he'd want you to have."

Sasuke glanced at him. He looked so different from what he remembered. Buzzcut; stiff, broad shoulders; very muscular; and a face that looked constantly wary, as if he were 10 years older than his real age. And he'd said Temari had kids? That would've made Gaara an uncle. He would've liked that a lot. He would've acted the same with them as Naruto -

"Sasuke? Are you okay? You look pale."

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

Even though he said as much, his knees began to buckle. Kankurou caught him under the arm and kept him aright.

"Sorry," he said. "Sorry."

He kept repeating it over and over until Kankurou wrapped both arms around him.

"I'm the one who should be sorry." Kankurou's voice broke, and Sasuke noticed the tears that slid down his cheeks.

They were strangers mostly, but at least Kankurou knew his pain. Sasuke returned the embrace, aware that if Gaara's brother let go, he'd collapse without his support.

"He was so smart," said Kankurou. "He was so talented. He had so much potential, Sasuke. So much… so much more than me or Temari. I… miss him. I talk to him when I'm out there. I feel him sometimes, mockin' me like he used to. That little bastard was so - "

He didn't finish his sentence, but a sudden calm overcame Sasuke. An unexpected feeling of warmth. He gazed out the window to watch the snow. It gave him a feeling of peace.

"I think," he said, dabbing his tongue across his dry lips, "That he wouldn't want you to feel guilty. He wasn't like that. He didn't hold grudges."

"Thank you for saying that." Kankurou took a step back and tried to straighten his appearance. "And you? Your father said you're studying art at university. Gaara would've liked that."

Sasuke let out a shaky breath and raked a hand through his hair. "Yeah… graphic design, but… I still draw. Your brother taught me a lot about art. He might've been famous by now. He could've studied anywhere. I wish I would've saved more of his art."

"In that case, I'm glad I brought it with me. It had been collected by police as evidence, but eventually it was released to us. I've kept it ever since. I thought you should have it."

Sasuke could only think of one thing that could be. "It's not…?"

Kankurou put an arm around him. "I don't want to overstay my welcome. So, why don't I say goodbye to your parents, and if you don't mind walkin' with me to my truck, I'll give to you."

While Sasuke took a moment to go into the bathroom to slap some water on his face and calm down, Kankurou went to say his farewells. They met at the bottom of the stairs by the front door. Kankurou already had his shoes and jacket on. He waited patiently as Sasuke retrieved his jacket and scarf from the closet and put on his boots.

They were careful as they stepped outside. The stairs were becoming slick with snow. He followed Kankurou to his truck, trying to find any resemblance between him and his younger brother. It was unfortunate how much he didn't look like Gaara. Kankurou, opening the door, reached inside for a manila envelope in the back seat and handed it to him.

"I've looked through it so many times," he said. "I don't know whether to say I figured some of them were you, but just know that I don't have a problem with it. M'only glad my brother was happy for a short while. I should've… I should've been a better brother to him. Protected him. I bet he felt alone livin' there with our father."

Sasuke opened the envelope and in it was Gaara's old sketchbook. The one his father had discovered under his bed. The reason he was found out; the reason he was killed. He didn't know if he wanted it, but as he flipped through the yellowed pages, it felt as though Gaara was close.

"Thank you," he said.

"No problem. I can tell it means a lot to you."

Sasuke felt a numbness spread over his body. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"A favor? Sure. Anything." Kankurou tucked his hands into his heavy jacket pockets.

"Can you give me a ride somewhere?"

"Where do you want to go? Somewhere in town?"

"The church," he said, clutching the sketchpad like it would disappear if he let go. "Take me to church."

* * *

On the ride there, Kankurou did all of the talking, mostly about his nephews. Sasuke, staring out the window and watching the snow, clutched the pad as it lay in his lap.

"Are you sure you want me to have this?" He asked, interrupting him mid-sentence.

"Temari didn't want it, and I figured before we got rid of it, I should ask if it's somethin' you wanted. It didn't feel right to throw it away. I didn't know if it would hold any good memories, but…"

"It's fine. I'm glad you kept it and brought it to me. It does… mean a lot to me." He spared the other man a glance as they arrived outside of the church.

The last service would have been over hours ago, so he figured no one would be there, or at least no one who would bother him if he kept to himself. Not that he knew what it is he wanted to do. He only knew that if he didn't get out of the house, he would've snapped.

"You sure you're okay?" Kankurou asked. "Is there no one in town you might wanna talk to?"

"No," he answered. "This is fine."

"Thanks again for seein' me. It feels like a weight's been lifted off my chest."

Sasuke opened the car door. "I hope you return safely."

Kankurou nodded. "Thanks. Good luck with school."

With the sketchpad in hand, he shut the door and began trudging up the walkway to the front of the church. No one had come out to shovel yet, but he figured Minato would've gone home by now, and he already knew Naruto was otherwise preoccupied. The thought of Naruto, instead of giving him any hope, only worsened this ugly feeling. He knew Naruto would listen, but the idea of going to him yet again, when he was spending his last few hours with his friends - it was _impossible_.

Sasuke opened the heavy front doors and stomped his boots out on the mat in the entryway. It was completely silent, and most of the lights were off. The main worship room was always accessible to parishioners. He approached the room hesitantly as if afraid he'd bump into someone. Heading toward the altar, Sasuke ran his fingers over the back of one of the pews while unconsciously tapping the pad against his thigh.

It was strange how this room smelled so similar to how it had when he was younger. How many Sundays had he spent coming here while growing up, listening to all kinds of lectures and sermons about how someone like him was an abomination to the church? If he'd never met Gaara, would he have tried to deny his feelings? Would he have gone to live the kind of life his parents expected of him? Marry a woman and give them grandchildren? He wondered if that would've been easier than what he'd gone through so far in life. Either way, he would be living a lie. The thought of coming out to his parents still terrified him. Any time he even considered it, images of Gaara came to mind, dead in a casket and now buried underground. After the funeral, Sasuke thought it would've looked strange or suspicious if he visited his grave too often, and, after a while, it became too hard to enter the cemetery at all.

It didn't help that ahead of him loomed the giant crucifix, cruel in its detail of a dying Christ. It made the hole in his chest grow larger. It intensified the emptiness, uncertainty, and overwhelming grief already building inside of him. The sheer weight of it forced him to take a seat at the end of the second pew from the front. For a while, he closed his eyes, half-expecting a sign - a booming voice or burning bush - but 10 minutes went by with no sounds other than the wind or the occasional creak of the floor.

Sasuke opened his eyes, focusing his unsteady gaze on the face of Jesus.

It wasn't the first time he wondered if Jesus, knowing his fate, felt angry or lonely or frightened of what was to come. All Sasuke knew, though, was that there was no chance of Gaara coming back. When people died, they didn't rise three days later. It made him recognize the futility of existence. What was the purpose if humans were only born to die?

The wind howled outside, beating against the side of the church.

Sasuke clasped his hands together, placed them on the back of the pew, and then rested his head on top of them. He prayed. He prayed for answers or a sign for why he had to suffer so, why Gaara had to suffer, and for answers as to why it felt religion caused so much guilt and misery.

Just as Sasuke was about to give into this horrible helplessness, a creak at the rear of the room caused him to glance over his shoulder. For a second, his heart leapt in disbelief because he thought it was Naruto; however, it was Minato, dressed in his coat, hat, and scarf as if he'd been about to leave.

"Sasuke," he said. "Is that you?"

Sasuke attempted to calm himself as the older man approached.

"I didn't think anyone was here." He was barely able to keep his voice even.

"I was about to leave. Naruto and his friends were coming over to pick up the piano, so I wanted to be there to help. I would have figured you'd be with them."

"I left a while ago," he said. I was just…"

But, what could he say? Why was he here? He'd come here because he'd wanted solitude, yet he'd also wanted -

"Are you okay?" Minato asked. "You appeared as though you were praying. I'm sorry if I interrupted you."

Faintly, he smiled. The pastor looked so much like Naruto it should've been unnerving. Their eyes were different, however. Naruto's were bluer, like his mother's, and so much more clear. At the same time, there was something so guarded about him, too. If he had to guess, he'd say Minato knew exactly why he was here right now but was being polite. That, or Sasuke looked worse than he thought and the pastor was trying to keep him from jumping off the church roof.

"Do you mind if I sit?" He asked Sasuke. "Or did you come here for privacy?"

"I thought you said Naruto was waiting for you," he murmured. "Please. Sit if you want." Sasuke moved over to make room for him.

Minato didn't immediately say anything, and he didn't mention the sketchpad sitting next to him either. Instead, his eyes were drawn to the crucifix, a deep crease forming between his brows.

"You know, son. I'm very appreciative of you befriending Naruto. I'm sure he's mentioned to you that I asked him to move here, even knowing it meant he'd be moving away from his friends and the life he'd become accustomed to in San Diego."

Naruto hadn't, but Sasuke wasn't going to correct him.

"Sometimes fathers make decisions for their children because they think it's for the best." He glanced at Sasuke. "I'm not perfect. I know that. None of us are, of course. It's why we lean on one another for support and encouragement. Humans are so interesting, aren't they? Because we can share others' joy or their pain. We can choose, on a whim, to help or to hurt someone we love. It's a very incredible world we live in… and it's not always easy."

"No," he said, almost scoffing. "It's certainly not."

"I'm sure, for someone your age, it may be easier to talk to a peer, but if you need someone to listen - "

"I'm fine," he replied, nearly biting his tongue at his own curtness. He wasn't raised to speak rudely to clergy. "I mean to say… I'm used to handling it on my own. I only came here because…"

Why? What was the reason? Why did he always return to this church when he felt on the precipice of darkness? Of nothingness? What was he hoping for? To be saved?

"You don't have to explain," Minato told him softly. "Sometimes it's comforting to have time to think in peace. Would it be better if I left you alone?"

Feeling guilty, Sasuke regarded the pastor quietly. He appeared tired, and Sasuke had prevented him from going home. The conversation this morning with Naruto suddenly came back to him. It made him wonder, again, why this man and his wife divorced. Why Naruto had chosen to live with his mother up until she died and why it was Minato wanted his son to move here with him. Being 20, Naruto could've moved anywhere he wanted. As he had his own house, he obviously didn't need his father to take care of him financially. What would make Naruto voluntarily move away from friends and his life in San Diego? He already knew they were close and that Naruto missed them and wanted to be with him. So… why?

"Tell Naruto," he said but found it too difficult to think of him right now, "Tell his friends I said goodbye when you see them. I know he was looking forward to having that piano…"

"Would you like to accompany me? They should be there by now - "

"No." He forced a smile. "I'd like to stay here a little longer, and then I'll go home. I didn't mean to interrupt your plans."

"Are you sure?" Minato asked. "Did you drive here? I could drop you off at your house."

"No. I'm fine here. Thank you."

"Well, if you need anything, make sure to call Naruto."

"He's already given me enough of his time," Sasuke replied. "Even when I'm sure he would've preferred he was spending it with his friends."

"I don't think that's true." Minato got to his feet. "He's told me lots of great things about you. I think he considers you to be a friend. Maybe the only one he's made so far." He set his hand on Sasuke's shoulder and smiled. "I'll leave you to your thoughts. Peace be with you, Sasuke."

The older man walked away, footsteps heavy as he made his way down the aisle.

Sasuke felt some small relief when he heard the front doors of the church slam shut. With Minato gone, he was alone again. It was beginning to get drafty inside the room, and he'd been in such a hurry to leave that he'd neglected to bring his gloves or scarf. He'd barely remembered to shove his phone in his pocket. Pulling it out, he stared at the screen. There were no messages or calls.

Funny, he would've thought Naruto, being the busybody he was, would've texted him by now to ask for an update. Maybe he was relieved to have Sasuke out of his hair. He was probably enjoying being able to spend time with his friends, Sai especially.

Apparently Sai was everything Sasuke was not.

At one point in his life, Sasuke had been wanted and cherished. He should've appreciated what he had with Gaara so much more. Now, he was just this broken, damaged version of that boy. He'd never be able to move on or have a normal relationship. There would always be this hole inside of him, and no one in the world could possibly fill it. The only one who who had ever made him feel whole, who'd made him feel good, had been Gaara.

It made him think the world could keep spinning if he wasn't around anymore.

The thought was painful, but it moved him to stand. He picked up the sketchpad, and without giving another glance to the gruesome crucifix that had always entranced him, Sasuke headed for the exit. He was lonely and every single part of his body ached to see Gaara again. As there was little hope for a miracle in which his dead boyfriend would rise again, Sasuke left the church and began the two-mile trek to the cemetery. Even though the wind was blowing and the chill was harsh. The snow fell slowly, giving the scenery an obscene sense of calm. There was no traffic either, which was to be expected given the forecast of heavy snow.

Even though his fingers began to sting from the windchill, he continued to clutch Gaara's sketchpad. Besides the necklace, it was the only thing he had left of the man he'd loved most in this world.

* * *

By the time he reached the cemetery, Sasuke could no longer control the chattering of his own teeth. The temperature must have dropped another 10 degrees once the sun began to set. Luckily, the gate was open, so he was able to go inside. Someone must have recently shoveled the drive-through because he could almost see the blacktop underneath. Most of the graves were covered in snow. Though he'd only been here a handful of times, he remembered where Gaara's gravestone had been placed. It took some time to find the exact one, but once he did, he could only stand and stare. It was a surreal feeling to read his boyfriend's name on that short stone. He crouched closer to the ground, dusting off the snow with his bare hand.

He felt a pinch in his chest looking at the dates, knowing that between those years this important person really had existed. They'd spoken to one another, shared a bed, laughed, and dreamt of a future together. Now the only one with memories of those moments was Sasuke. He let out a shaky breath as he rubbed his fingers over the surface, half expecting to hear Gaara speak from behind him. But, there was nothing. Only the sharp howl of the wind.

"Gaara," he said, wanting to feel something. _Anything_. "Your brother brought me your sketchpad. I don't… I don't know why he did that." Sasuke bit into his lip. "I'm sorry I haven't visited you in so long, but I… talk to you in my head all of the time. I don't really… know what to say, but I…" The tears started to fall as his voice broke. "I _miss_ you."

Gingerly, he ran his fingers across the stone again before collapsing to his knees. The snow was biting beneath his palms, so cold it felt like they were on fire.

"Is this what happens to people like us?" He asked. "Will I be punished, too? For who I am? For what you and I did?"

It hurt so much knowing that he would get no answer no matter how much he needed it.

"This is stupid, I know…" He closed his eyes. "I'll just stay here… with you. I don't have anywhere else to go. Without you…"

Sasuke, his body heavy with grief, barely had the energy to turn around and lean against the grave. How horrible he was to only come because he was feeling alone and lost. Once again, he was relying on Gaara to fix things, to take care of him… to protect him. He felt like a child, knowing that he'd always been this selfish. It was _pathetic_. _He_ was pathetic.

By now, the sketchpad was already covered in new snow. Sasuke curled in on himself, slipping his hands into his pockets for the bare minimum of warmth. He had no reason to get up. He had no reason to seek shelter. He had no reason to leave. Gaara was the only person that had ever mattered. The only person who would ever love him; the only one Sasuke had ever loved. It was like he'd said to Naruto on Christmas Eve - he would've been better off dying on that cold floor alongside his boyfriend.

* * *

Sunlight bled across the cornfield surrounding the cemetery where Sasuke's brother was buried. It was late in the summer, and as he walked along the outskirts of the cemetery's boundaries, grasshoppers jumped out of his path so as not to be stepped on.

He came here sometimes as it was the only place he'd be able to think. Usually Gaara accompanied him, but his father forced him to stay home from school today. That was already the third day of school Gaara had missed since classes started in August. He hadn't heard from him since the night before, but expected him to send a text any time now.

It seemed unfair that Gaara's brother and sister had left their younger brother alone to deal with their father. Sasuke had only been to his boyfriend's house a couple of times. There was a reason he didn't go there anymore. He told himself that there were only two years of high school left and, after that, they'd both be free to do as they pleased.

Despite his complaints about his own parents, Sasuke knew he was a lot better off than Gaara. He had him come over as much as he could, or after school was over, they spent their evenings going to movies or finding some secluded field like this where they could sit on the back of his boyfriend's truck and sketch or talk about the future. Sasuke, making his way back to the cemetery, began to feel a strange anxiousness growing inside his chest. He pulled his phone out of his pocket but didn't see any messages or missed calls. While he walked, he sent a quick text to Gaara just to check in.

The fence surrounding the cemetery wasn't in the best of shape, but that was to be expected given its rural location. Hardly anyone ever came here. Yet, as he came to the iron gate, he thought he saw a woman in a flowing red dress and bright red hair. Because she appeared to be standing next to his brother's grave, Sasuke picked up his pace. In that instant, the sun suddenly broke free of the clouds and shined so bright that he squinted and held a hand up to the light in order to keep it from blinding him.

When he looked again, the woman was gone. It was as if she'd vanished. Sasuke turned around in a circle, searching for her. It'd be hard to miss a woman with hair like that. Was it possible he'd simply imagined her? It's true he hadn't been sleeping well lately, but she'd looked very real to him. So much so, that if he'd had his pad with him, he could've drawn her in detail… except the face.

Just to make sure, he made his way over to Itachi's tiny gravestone and crouched in front of it. There was nothing there. He touched his fingertips to the engraving of his brother's name and the date he'd lived as well as the one in which he'd died.

What would it have been like to have an older brother? Would he have been able to help Sasuke with his situation? Would he have been able to protect him?

He glanced up at the sun, unmercifully bright in all its glory. It was too blinding.

Sasuke shielded his eyes as he gave one last look at his brother's grave, and decided to head home.

* * *

When Sasuke opened his eyes, he honestly wasn't sure if he was alive any longer. He couldn't feel his body, and, in front of him, there was an outline of a man with a golden halo above his head. It occurred to him that the figure was speaking to him, but Sasuke only heard something like a dull roar in his ears. At least until he received a harsh slap across the face. By then, he understood that he was still alive but barely holding on to consciousness.

This person looked so distraught as he crouched in front of Sasuke, talking to him as if actually expecting a response. The hands that held his cheeks were _so_ warm, too.

Through his blurred vision, he remembered thinking _Don't cry_. _It's not worth it_.

He let out a strangled noise as he was hoisted to his feet. Parts of his body protested being forced to move, and he didn't understand the pain, though he welcomed it. Next he knew, he was being thrown into a backseat. The one who kept manhandling him forced gloves on his hands, wrapped a scarf about his neck, and hastily threw his jacket on top of him. He disappeared for only a handful of seconds from Sasuke's view before reappearing in front of him again. Briefly, a heavy weight rested on top of him as he was wrapped up amongst the scratchy blankets. Sasuke sniffed, recognizing that smell. He would've thought it was Gaara if it wasn't for the color of the hair. As the body on top of him kept moving around busily, Sasuke reached for one of those blond strands.

"Naruto," he said hoarsely, his voice entirely unrecognizable to him.

"I'm gonna take you to the hospital. How long have you been out here?" Naruto asked, a deep furrow set between his brows. "I should call an ambulance - "

"No. I can't go there." A shiver wracked his body, and Naruto started to pull away from him, but Sasuke found the strength to grab his shirt. "Please. If my father finds out - "

Naruto's blue eyes were wide, and it was obvious he didn't want to listen.

"Please," he nearly begged. "Your house… take me… Take me home."

It was hard to speak when his teeth kept chattering.

"Naruto…"

Sasuke pulled at him again when Naruto refused to look him in the eyes.

"If anything happens to you," said Naruto. "I'd be responsible."

He touched the side of Naruto's face. "There was a sketchbook. I left it by the grave…"

"A sketchbook?" Naruto asked. "Alright. I'm gonna turn the heat all the way up, and I'll go look. If you pass out on me before then, I'm draggin' your ass to the hospital. I swear to God."

If he'd been able to, he would've smirked. Instead, he watched as Naruto got out, opened the driver side to turn up the heat, and disappeared toward the gravesite.

He was adamant about not going to the hospital for fear of his parents finding out where he'd been, so he clung with what little strength he had to consciousness. It felt like forever before Naruto returned, sketchpad in hand, and checked on him from the front seat.

Sasuke gave him a weak thumbs up, wondering if it would be okay to close his eyes now. The heat was beginning to make everything on his body feel so heavy. He curled up under the blankets, half-aware Naruto was talking to him about something. It occurred to him that he had no idea how Naruto knew where he was and wondered if it counted as a miracle.

Did he even believe in those anymore?

At some point during the drive, Sasuke fell asleep, but, this time, there were no dreams.

* * *

For a second time, he awoke to blue eyes and blond hair as Naruto hovered over him.

"You okay?"

Sasuke attempted to wet his lips. "They're dry."

"I can't help you with that right now, but I'm sure I have chapstick inside the house somewhere. I'm gonna carry you in, okay?"

He pulled Sasuke up so that he was sitting and bundled him in all of the blankets. Having him so close was almost as good as the blasting heater.

Sasuke settled his chin on Naruto's shoulder. He was beginning to feel that heaviness in his chest again. Gripping the back of the blond's shirt, he clutched it with his fingers, shifting under him until his forehead touched Naruto's shoulder. The pain in his chest was a thousand times worse than the numbness he was still experiencing in his limbs.

"Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, keeping his voice low.

When Sasuke said nothing, Naruto wrapped his arms around him. He simply held Sasuke until he calmed. After another few minutes, Sasuke was able to lift his head.

"Okay."

Naruto helped him out of the backseat, the jacket he'd thrown on Sasuke earlier falling onto the floor of the car. "Let me help you inside, and I'll get you in a hot bath."

He groaned almost the instant they were out of the car and in the cold again. It was snowing, but not as much as before, which made him wonder how much time had gone by since he'd been sitting in the cemetery.

Naruto, offering the support of his arm, helped him inside and to the bedroom. He let Sasuke keep the blankets as he lay him down on the bed.

"I'll go start the bath, and then go turn off the car. Be right back."

Rolling onto his side, Sasuke stayed buried beneath the blankets. He stared at the framed photographs on the dresser, gaze mostly focused on the picture of Naruto and his mother. Is that the woman he'd dreamt of earlier? She had that beautiful red hair. Like Gaara's, but brighter. Bright like Naruto's blond hair. Everything about Naruto was annoyingly bright.

He closed his eyes for a while, and, for the first time, became conscious of how quiet it was inside the small house. Sai, Ino, and Karin must've left by now. Sasuke would have to ask Naruto about the piano. He could hear the water running in the bathroom. Not much longer, and Naruto returned. Sasuke couldn't see him, but could hear him walking in and out of the room several times.

Eventually, he rolled over onto his back in order to see what he was doing. Naruto was opening drawers and pulling out clothes, which Sasuke suspected were for him to wear. It was an odd thought to have in that moment, but with his brow furrowed like that, Sasuke thought him very handsome and even… reliable. He must've realized he was being watched because, very suddenly, he glanced at Sasuke.

"Your bath will be ready in a minute. I've got the kettle goin', too, so I'll bring you some tea."

Sasuke merely nodded. From the kitchen, the kettle began to whistle, so, once again, Naruto disappeared. In a weird way, Sasuke felt pleased to have the attention and to be taken care of this way. He wouldn't have expected anything less from Naruto anyway.

When Naruto returned, it was to help him up and get him into the bathroom. The small room was cozy with just the two of them, and the mirror had already steamed over. After Naruto tossed his coat out into the hall, he shut off the water and proceeded to strip Sasuke of his sweater. As soon as he reached for the bottom of the undershirt, Sasuke grabbed one of his wrists.

"No point in acting modest," said Naruto.

"I can do it."

"Let me just help you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I don't need your help."

"That's not the way it looked like earlier. In fact, I'd say you very much need help, Sasuke. You call me and tell me you're in the cemetery in the middle of a snowstorm, and - "

"I never called you," he argued.

"Yeah. You did. When I asked where you were, you said you were over at the cemetery and sounded like you were in trouble, so I rushed over and found you'd passed out."

Confused, Sasuke let go of his wrist. "I don't remember that."

Naruto tugged the shirt over his head before he could complain again. "Goddammit, your skin looks fuckin' blue." He looked Sasuke in the eye. "Are you sure you won't let me take you to the hospital?"

"No."

"Then take off your pants."

Sasuke actually smirked, and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"This isn't the time or place," Naruto scolded, but his voice was gentle.

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your Sunday School students."

"Then don't act like a kid, and let me help you."

"Fine." Sasuke let his arms fall to his sides as Naruto helped get his pants down and kept him upright while he stepped out of them.

"That's as far as I'll go unless you can't manage to get out of your underwear?"

Sasuke, dressed only in his boxers and socks, began to shiver.

"Give me a second." Putting a hand on Naruto's shoulder, he pulled off his socks. "Now you can go."

"Go?" Naruto asked. "I'll be back in a second to check on you and bring your tea. Get in the bath by then and you won't have to worry about your modesty. I might have a blow dryer in the basement somewhere. I'll dry your hair right away when you get out."

"Or, bring it to me while I'm in the bath. Drop it in the water and put me out of my misery."

The glare Naruto gave him was especially troubling.

"It was a joke," he mumbled.

"It's not funny. Get in the water already." He left Sasuke alone, partially closing the door behind him.

Sasuke stood only long enough to slip his boxers off and set them with the rest of the pile of clothes. Carefully, he got into the tub and sunk beneath the hot water. It was painful at first, but as the warmth spread across his body, it began to feel sinfully pleasurable. He was only able to relax for a minute or two before Naruto barged in with his tea. Sasuke didn't much care that he was basically exposed at this point and accepted the hot mug when it was given to him.

After his first sip, he glanced at Naruto, who appeared rather pale and worried.

"I'm fine," he said. "And thanks."

Naruto snorted. "You're not gonna get away with just that. As soon as you're out of there, and I have you all bundled up again, you're gonna explain to me just what the hell you think you were doin' out there."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "That's none of your business."

"I should've known somethin' was up when dad said he saw you at the church. Did somethin' happen when you went home? Does it have to do with why you left?"

"Do we really have to talk about this right now?"

"I dunno why not since every other time you run away, and now that you're naked in my bathtub, I find it unlikely you'll be takin' off like you usually do."

"Oh, right. Like I want to hear that from someone who can only ever evade questions about himself and his past."

Naruto grabbed the edge of the tub and leaned over him, blue eyes darkening in his anger. "Yeah, well I'm not the one hidin' in a cemetery and waitin' to die of hypothermia."

"Maybe you would if your dead boyfriend's brother unexpectedly stopped by to let you know he knew you and his brother were fucking and, oh by the way, here's the sketchpad that gave away to his father that he was gay!"

He hadn't meant to say all that or to raise his voice.

Naruto looked surprised, but he also didn't look any less angry.

"That's no excuse," he said. "No excuse for what you were tryin' to do, Sasuke."

"I wasn't trying to do anything."

"The fuck you weren't," Naruto muttered. "Drink your tea, and we'll talk about it later. Call me if you need anything. I'll be in the bedroom."

Sasuke watched him leave, recognizing the stiff movement of his shoulders as he walked out. He understood that he owed Naruto a lot, but that didn't give him the right to judge him or assume anything. It's not as if he'd planned to go out there from the beginning. It just… happened. He decided to focus on the warmth of the mug instead of his growing rage at Naruto. Sasuke sunk further below the water as he sipped at the tea. From another part of the house, music began to play, but it sounded muffled and like it was coming from a record player.

Alone, he began to think through the roller coaster of emotions he'd experienced since hearing Kankurou was in town. It's not as if he wasn't aware that he had these moments of despair or emptiness. He certainly hadn't asked for Naruto to help him. Or, at least couldn't remember doing so. In the back of his mind, he wondered if Gaara -

"You still alive in there?" Naruto peeked inside.

"I thought you were off brooding somewhere," he remarked.

"I'm not very happy, no, but I also don't want you to lose consciousness again and end up drownin' in my tub."

"If you're that worried about it, why don't you go learn CPR."

"Yeah, I bet you'd like that," Naruto mumbled, pushing the door open even more. "For the record, I do know how to do CPR. I work with children, after all. Are you hungry? You sure you don't want me to call anybody?"

He was about to, of course, say no, except it occurred to him he'd left without saying anything to his parents. Not that he wanted to be in Naruto's debt even more than he already was, but he couldn't have them worrying about him in this state. They'd ask too many questions, and his father made an exceptional human lie detector.

"In my jacket pocket… my phone. Can you bring it to me?"

"Yeah, I can. Hold on."

Naruto, after leaving to retrieve it, returned and held the phone out for him to take. However, he abruptly retracted it.

"You're not gonna drop it in the tub and electrocute yourself, are you?"

"Idiot." Sasuke sneered. "Fine. You do it. Just text my mother and let her know I'm at your place."

"Me? I don't wanna lie to your mom - "

"I'm not asking you to lie, Naruto," he said impatiently, "Just text her and tell her where I am."

"Fine. What's your password? It's locked."

Sasuke debated briefly if he wanted to give out that info, but it didn't really matter.

"0, 1, 1, 9," he said.

Naruto gave him a long look before entering the code. Quietly, Sasuke watched him as he appeared to be typing.

"There. Done," said Naruto, who then rubbed at his forehead. "Jesus."

"Your friends… are gone?"

"Yeah. You knew they were leaving at 3."

"Did you get the piano?" Sasuke asked, taking another sip of his tea before it got cold.

"I did. It's in the extra room. You probably didn't see it since you were barely with it as I dragged you to the bedroom."

"Don't be so dramatic."

Naruto sent an unamused look his way. "I… don't even know what to do with you."

"I get that a lot."

"We're still gonna talk later."

Sasuke shrugged. "Whatever."

"No, not whatever." Naruto stepped up to the tub and grabbed the mug right out of his hands. "We are gonna have a talk. I'm not lettin' you out of my sight until you tell me everything, and if you do try to leave, I will call your parents."

Sasuke gripped the edge of the tub. "You wouldn't."

Naruto's tone was deadly serious. "Try me."

"You're annoying, you know that?"

Crouching next to the tub, Naruto set the mug on the floor and placed his hand next to Sasuke's. "I get that a lot. But, guess what, I don't care if you're mad at me because I do like you, and I care about you, and I want you to talk to me."

"Why should I open up to you more than I already have when you never open up to me?" He snapped.

Naruto appeared surprised at first, but then his features softened considerably. "You want to know about me?"

"I've tried," Sasuke argued, "But you always blow me off when I ask questions."

"Okay…" Naruto's gaze shifted away from him, but then his eyes were on Sasuke once more. "Fine. We can talk later. After you're done here and dressed and you let me dry your hair."

Perplexed, Sasuke could only stare at him. "Why… why are you doing this for me?"

"Because," said Naruto while running a hand through his hair. "If I had to explain it, it's just that… when I see you carrying everything on your shoulders like you do… I feel it, too. Whether you wanna believe it or not. It makes me sad. I get angry on your behalf. I can't ignore it, Sasuke. I can't ignore how it makes me feel to know you're in pain."

"How could you possibly understand this pain…?" He kept his tone mostly neutral because he was genuinely curious. "Because you lost your mother?"

"Heh." Naruto smiled at him faintly, but sadly. "Yeah, because of that… and… like you said, I guess there's a lot you _don't_ know about me."

"Like why you moved here."

"Yeah."

"You and Sai."

Naruto made a face and rubbed at the back of his head. "Yeah, there's that, too. I guess."

"...Other things?"

Naruto didn't reply, and he didn't have to. Sasuke couldn't deny that it made his curiosity grow, yet he felt satisfied that at least Naruto was willing to admit he'd been holding back.

"We can talk," Sasuke told him, "But I want it to be quid pro quo."

"Are you blackmailing me for information? After I _saved_ your ass?"

"Interesting choice of words," he replied, "For a pastor's son."

"Why don't you just forget about who I am for once? I know what you've shown me, Sasuke, and from that, anyone could make assumptions. Maybe I haven't been completely open with you, but you can't possibly know who I am based off who my father is. I don't expect you to be a certain way just because your father is police chief."

Sasuke bristled at being lectured. "Great."

"Am I wrong?" Reaching in, Naruto splashed the water near Sasuke's knee. "It's not very warm anymore, is it? Do you want me to let in some more hot water?"

Naruto's voice, which had returned to being gentle and calm, made him feel strange.

"Don't… be so good to me, Naruto. I don't understand it when you're like this."

"You said that to me before." Naruto got to his feet. "I don't do it so that you understand. Anyway. I'll leave you to your privacy. Find me when you're done, and I'll keep taking care of you, even though you seem to hate it so much."


	10. Chapter 10

Sasuke pulled the plug for the drain and, with some effort, raised himself out of the bath. He remained light-headed, and, left to think on his own for so long, had become embarrassed about the state in which Naruto found him. In fact, if he'd really called Naruto to come and get him, then he was even more pathetic than he'd realized.

While drying off, he started to hear the sound of the piano being played. It was a lighter classical piece at first, but switched to something darker, as if Naruto were simply pounding on the keys. Sasuke frowned while listening and, after wrapping the a towel around his waist, grabbed for the hand towel hanging on a bar next to the sink. He wiped his hand across the mirror and was surprised by his reflection. He looked disheveled, pale, and his eyes were bloodshot. At college, Sasuke was known for being put together, organized, top of his class, competitive in nature, and absolutely nothing like the person he'd represented to Naruto so far. Looking in the mirror only reminded him of as much. What did Naruto truly think of him? After all, he had only shown him the worst sides of himself. At least in his mind. He'd acted jealous of Sai, he'd demanded Naruto's attention in ways he was both aware of and also trying to suppress. Sasuke couldn't imagine what Naruto must have thought after finding him in the cemetery.

The piano suddenly became louder. It was a schizophrenic medley of Beatles' songs: a few lines of "Let it Be", then "Eleanor Rigby", and, finally, "Don't Let Me Down". He was no music expert, but he'd venture a guess Naruto wasn't in a very good mood. Would he really open up to Sasuke tonight like he'd said he would? A part of him had wanted this all along, and on some subconscious level, he could acknowledge that it, at first, was so he could find a flaw in Naruto's character. By now, he'd realized Naruto was not perfect, but even his flaws only served to draw him in further.

While putting on the borrowed sweatpants, sweatshirt, and socks, Sasuke became hyper-conscious of these being Naruto's clothes and that they smelled so much like him. He left the bathroom and went out into the hall, toward Naruto's bedroom. Sasuke noticed a pile of his clothes that had been folded neatly on one corner of the bed. His gaze wandered toward the dresser, at those few framed family photos.

Before he went to find Naruto, he returned to the bathroom to retrieve the mug he'd left on the sink counter. He'd had the intention of taking it into the kitchen to wash but ended up pausing in the doorway of the second bedroom, where he spotted Naruto sitting on the piano bench. He'd stopped playing and merely sat there with his hands resting in his lap, staring off. Sasuke, not knowing how else to break the ice, decided teasing him might lighten the mood.

"Were you serenading me?" He asked.

Naruto didn't acknowledge he'd spoken, and, instead, appeared to be in deep thought.

"Naruto?"

"Why did you go to the church, Sasuke?" Naruto asked without looking at him still. "Why didn't you call me if you were feeling so bad?"

He leaned against the doorframe. The question was unexpected, so he gave some thought to how he wanted to answer.

"I knew you were busy with your friends," he replied quietly.

Naruto, turning to acknowledge him, looked uncharacteristically irritated. "Really? You really think that would've prevented me from coming to get you?"

Sasuke straightened up, unable to help bristling at Naruto's tone. He didn't like being lectured or talked down to, nor did he like the idea of Naruto worrying about him.

"Who are you to me that I should ask you for help?" He saw the way Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Don't look at me like that. I told you, I don't even remember calling you. It wasn't - "

He stopped, about to say _It wasn't a cry for help_.

Naruto started cracking his knuckles. "By the way, I left your drawing pad in the living room to dry. The first few pages were wet, but I think it's mostly intact."

"Did you look through it?" He asked.

"Of course I didn't," Naruto answered, sounding offended. "I wouldn't invade your privacy like that."

Oddly, there was a part of him that hoped Naruto would have. Sasuke understood why Naruto was mad, but at the same time, he hated admitting he'd done anything wrong. Yet, if he would've looked through all of those drawings, he would've asked Sasuke questions about it. There were all of these things he _wanted_ to talk about with Naruto. Things he'd not been able to tell others because, if he ever tried to bring up Gaara, they'd stop looking him in the eye or change the subject. He had to wonder. Was Naruto tired of it, too? In Naruto's eyes, was he… pathetic?

Even given the current situation, he felt it unusual for Naruto not to fill the silence. It was almost as if he was ignoring him on purpose. Sasuke started to fidget with the cuff of his sweatshirt.

"You realize why I'm pissed off, right?" Naruto asked after another minute of silence.

Sasuke shifted his weight to his other foot. "Because…"

He knew. Kind of. But he also couldn't put words to it because he didn't get why Naruto cared.

Closing the piano, Naruto turned to sit on the edge of the bench. He looked as if he would wait until the end of the world if that's how long it took for him to answer.

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek. "Because I didn't call you?"

Naruto inhaled deeply, closed his eyes, and tilted his head toward the ceiling. "I wonder. I wonder about this Gaara, Sasuke, and whether he must've been a saint."

"How dare you," he said, his whole body freezing up with fury, "How dare you - "

" _Me_?" Naruto got to his feet, and it only took three swift steps until he stood in front of him. "You knew _exactly_ what you were doin' when you went to that cemetery. Don't fuck around with me, Sasuke. I am not stupid. If you would've stayed out there another 20 minutes, you probably wouldn't have woken up, and if no one knew you were there, you could've _died_."

" _So_?" Sasuke asked stubbornly. "Is that really so bad? Would it have been any great loss? Or, is this because you'd feel guilty that there was at least one lost sheep you couldn't save. That's you, right? The Good Shepherd? Always trying to save his flock? You don't know anything about me, or Gaara. I already know you're not perfect, so don't pretend to be."

"When have I _ever_ said I was perfect?" Naruto shouted. "When have I ever acted as if I know what it feels like to lose a lover? Yeah, I lost my mom, but I've _never_ acted as if that gave me the right to understand the type of pain you've been goin' through. Then again, when have you ever tried to understand me as anyone other than the son of a pastor?"

"I've asked you several times - "

"No. _You're_ curious about shit like whether Sai and I have a relationship that goes beyond friendship, and I have no fuckin' clue as to why. You want to know all my dark secrets? So, _what_? You can feel better about yourself? By all means, if that's what it takes to keep you from doin' stupid self-destructive shit that could get you killed, then let's grab some hot chocolate and a bag of popcorn and just make a _moment_ out of it."

Beyond being completely taken aback, he was having another strange reaction to the ferocity of Naruto's words and the intensity burning in those frighteningly blue eyes.

"Oh, what's this?" Sasuke took a half-step closer as if drawn. "Has your self-imposed veneer finally cracked? You pretend to be patient and understanding, but the truth is that you could care less. Go on then, Naruto. Keep putting on your show. All kneel before the pastor's son - "

Sasuke's back hit the wall so fast, he didn't have time to process what just happened. With Naruto still clutching the front of his sweatshirt, the mug slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor without breaking.

"Sasuke, I'm warning you," Naruto said through clenched teeth. "Don't test me."

For a second, Sasuke actually felt real fear, and the threat was enough to silence him. Naruto let go, but there was virtually no space between them. His hands were shaking, and a sudden coughing fit started to rack his body from getting the wind knocked out of him like that.

"Sorry," Naruto muttered, looking concerned as he stepped away. "You should be in bed. You're gonna end up gettin' sick after all of this since you were out there for so damn long."

When the coughing subsided, Sasuke rubbed his chest. Even if he wanted to leave, he couldn't. There was nowhere to go, and no one for him to call. It was a sad realization but then, unexpectedly, Naruto reached for a piece of his hair and gave it a tug.

"You shouldn't walk around with your hair wet like this," he told Sasuke. "You really will come down with pneumonia."

Ignoring his stunned silence, Naruto grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the room, although he stopped for a second to pick up the mug from off the floor. He then walked Sasuke the rest of the way to the other bedroom, where he sat him on the foot of the bed. Sasuke watched as Naruto picked up the blow dryer he'd left on the dresser and plugged it into a nearby outlet.

"Are you sure you aren't bipolar?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, I haven't been diagnosed yet at least," Naruto replied sarcastically, pointing the blow dryer at him. "It might be good for both of us if we can't talk for a few minutes. Just sit still, okay?"

Once he turned it on, it was almost as loud as a train, so Sasuke had no choice but to sit and endure being groomed by Naruto.

After a couple of minutes - and he'd hate to ever admit this - having Naruto's fingers combing through his hair felt incredibly relaxing. He took his time, drying each strand and, as usual, the look of concentration on his face reminded him that he still felt that same annoying attraction. It also forced him to acknowledge there was a part of him that got off on being taken care of by someone. He'd always been aware of this while dating Gaara, and knew there was a childish self-indulgence to it that he was ashamed of. His mother had spoiled him, too, which was also clearly a factor in how he viewed relationships. Was he in the wrong here? Was he too hard on Naruto? But didn't Naruto simply do things like this because he felt he had to? Because he had an impulse to? Was he so self-righteous that even if he despised Sasuke, he would take care of him because _that's what good Christians ought to do_?

Once Naruto finished, he set the blow dryer on the bed and started feathering Sasuke's bangs to one side. The look in his eyes was soft and warm. However, it was when Naruto began doing things to the spikes in the back that Sasuke had finally had enough and slapped his hand away.

"I can already tell it takes some product to get your hair like it usually looks," Naruto remarked as he unplugged the blow dryer and wrapped the cord around it.

"Thanks," he replied. "That's great of you to notice. Are you going to just insult me all night?"

"I actually think I've been pretty fuckin' calm. Then again, you don't know what you looked like when I found you," Naruto replied.

Sasuke flinched at his words. "I won't apologize."

"I figured. You know. When I was livin' with Sai, he had so much shit it covered the entire bathroom counter. I think all I got was a single drawer for a razor and a can of shaving cream. Maybe a comb, too?"

He sat next to Sasuke and gave him another scrutinizing look that made him feel self conscious. Sasuke scowled and tried to fix his hair on his own as obviously there was something wrong with it.

"Here, let me fix it."

Naruto, after getting up, walked across the hall to the bathroom. When he returned, there was something thick and oily on his fingers.

Sasuke put a hand up, stopping him. "Please tell me you're not about to put lube in my hair."

Naruto chuckled for the first time tonight. "I wouldn't do that. It might give you the wrong idea."

For the sake of his health, he decided he wasn't in the mood to fight anymore, so he let Naruto play with his hair some more.

"How long did the two of you live together?" Sasuke asked.

"Hmm. Maybe about six or seven months? Then dad decided he wanted to move here. I tried to pay for the rest of the rent, but Sai wouldn't let me."

"How very charitable of him," Sasuke replied dryly.

"Sai's always been a very considerate friend."

"Then I see why you favor him."

"Favor him? What do you mean?"

"Just that, out of the three of them, you seem closest to him. Although you seem close to Ino, too. But the way you look at Sai sometimes - "

Naruto cocked his head. "How do I look at him?"

Sasuke wasn't sure himself. "I don't know. I just get this feeling when I'm around the two of you."

"Jealousy?" Naruto smirked, but Sasuke didn't find that very funny.

"Hardly. If anything, I could argue you acted jealous when you walked in on the two of us kissing in the bathroom."

Sighing, Naruto rubbed his temple. "I was surprised is all. I don't know why, since it really was my intention to hook the two of you up. At first."

"What do you mean 'at first'?"

Naruto clasped his hands together and set them in his lap. "I don't know."

It was Sasuke's turn to hum inquisitively.

"You don't believe me?" Naruto asked. "Fine. In the spirit of bein' open… yeah, maybe I felt jealous. A little. But it's not what you think."

"No?"

"I knew I had limited time with them this weekend, so givin' up Sai to you… I dunno." He ran a hand through his hair. "Every time I saw the two of you, it did look like you were into one another."

"If I'm honest…," Sasuke replied. "There might've been a small attraction, but nothing that would've moved me to sleep with him. Whether you want to believe it or not, it was you he was territorial of. Protective. Whatever you want to call it, but I think it goes beyond that."

"Again, can I ask why it matters so much to you to know the details of mine and Sai's friendship?"

"I guess I think it's more than friendship. Being gay, maybe I'm just curious. Maybe it would make me feel better to know you're on my side." Sasuke couldn't help a tiny smirk.

"I hate to disappoint you," Naruto said, "But, I'm not gay. I _have_ been with women."

"Does that mean Ino wasn't just an experiment?" He asked it in jest, and yet Naruto flinched.

"We did date, like I told you. I love her. And she was the first girl I slept with, so yeah, we're close. Maybe sometimes I'm still attracted to her, but right now, we're only friends."

"You and Sai," he inquired tentatively, "Are only friends?"

Naruto gave him a long look but didn't answer. While his hesitation should've spoken volumes, Sasuke was left with the impression it wasn't because he was attempting to stall or evade the question exactly. He understood that their relationship wasn't any of his business, but the only way he knew to get answers out of Naruto was to push him. For now, he decided to take pity on him and inquire about something else he'd been curious to have the answer to.

"Why did you move away from San Diego?" He asked.

"That one's fairly easy." Naruto rubbed his lips together. "I partied too much after droppin' out of school. Dad, and even some of my friends, thought it might be better if we moved somewhere… more rural. So, here I am." He tugged at the blanket where it had bunched between them. "Dad gets to be pastor of his own church, and I…"

"Have an entire minibar in your refrigerator? I did get the impression from your friends that you might be a bit of an…"

Naruto sighed. "Don't say alcoholic."

"Social drinker then." Sasuke offered a crooked smile. "So, you drink? Big deal. I have plenty of college friends who get so wasted they wake up in a puddle of their own urine every weekend."

"And these are the friends you're going back to party with?"

"My invitation still stands," he said.

"Invitation?"

"If you can get out of the service on New Year's Eve, I mean, and if your father gives his permission for you to leave town with a heathen like me."

"What are you talkin' about? My dad's half in love with you, I swear," Naruto muttered. "Your mom talks a lot about you when those two get together, so it's all I ever hear about."

"Naruto…"

"What."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but sometimes I think you don't get along very well with your father. Is this...because of the divorce?"

Naruto's eyes widened, and he gazed a little bit of everywhere except at him.

"This is what I'm talking about," he commented. "I never know what questions are off limits."

"Yeah, but you have to see there's a difference between 'what's your favorite color' and 'what kind of grudge do you hold against your dad?'"

"So… there _is_ something," he said quietly. "We don't have to talk about it all right now."

Naruto nudged him in the shoulder. "Oh, so now you're showin' mercy? Here I thought you were part of the Spanish Inquisition."

"It's just in case," he replied with a smirk. "The Bible _does_ say the soul must show at least 'a flicker of good will' before it can be allowed to enter into the light."

Naruto laughed. "I can see your soul bein' that stubborn."

"Ah, is that why you showed up in the nick of time as my Merciful Savior?"

"I don't know about that." Naruto's smile wavered. "I did receive a call. Even if you don't remember doin' it. Maybe it was divine intervention? Dad said you were prayin' when he saw you. It's very possible your prayers were answered, Sasuke. Have you thought about that?"

Sasuke sucked on his lower lip. "I have a hard time believing in miracles."

"I thought you _wanted_ to believe," Naruto replied lightly.

"You know," he began to say even while wondering if he should, "When I fell asleep - "

"When you _passed_ out from the cold," Naruto interjected. "And nearly died."

"Get over it." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "While I was, as you've put it, apparently waiting for you to come and save me, I had another strange dream."

"You have those a lot, don't you?"

Sasuke nodded absently. "I dreamt of the day Gaara died. I… didn't know he was dead until the following day. That day before, though, I'd gone to a cemetery outside of town, where my older brother is buried."

Naruto suddenly clutched his arm. "Wait… you had an older brother who died? I didn't know that. I'm very sorry."

"It's… not like I knew him. He was five years older and died shortly after being born. I guess… I don't talk about it very much. But, I used to visit his grave a lot when I was a teenager. Gaara would come with me. It might sound morbid, but being miles outside of town, it was always empty and… " He gave Naruto a look, "Peaceful."

"Maybe one of the only places you two felt like you could be together? I don't think there's anything morbid about that."

Sasuke glanced down at his lap. "The day Gaara died… my father was the one to tell me. He was at the police station when the call came, and while not directly involved, he knew a lot about the investigation. He knew Gaara and I were friends at least, and that we were in the same grade. If he ever suspected there was more between us, he's never said anything to me."

Naruto sighed. "I honestly don't know how you've gone this long keeping everything inside."

"Obviously it's not going well," he remarked. "That sketchbook Kankurou brought me tonight was a piece of evidence. I'd always wondered about it but figured it was locked up in some evidence box at the police station. It's not as if I was going to ask my father about it."

Naruto leaned into him. "He gave that to you, and… I guess you kinda lost it, huh? I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, but… when you called, and then when I found you… I was really worried."

Absorbing Naruto's words, he had to close his eyes for a second. "It's hard being barely 17 and trying to hold your emotions in… at a moment like that."

"It's hard being _any_ age and feeling like you can't express yourself. It'd be hard to be our age now and not feel like there was anyone to talk to or anyone who could understand."

It shouldn't have surprised him when Naruto placed an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to his side. It was a gesture he normally would've hated, but he felt too tired and emotionally drained to complain. It was as if he'd been walking against an upward mountain of sand for years. What else could he do but lean into Naruto, set his head on his shoulder, and allow himself to be comforted.

"You'll be okay," Naruto said and gently placed a kiss to the side of his head.

It was enough to make his eyes sting with the start of tears. "You don't know that."

"No," Naruto admitted. "I don't know, but, like you, I also want to believe."

* * *

An hour later, Sasuke was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the mistletoe hanging in the doorway while Naruto put together a couple of English muffin pizzas.

"It's not Christmas anymore," he said. "When are you going to take that down?"

"Hm?" Naruto licked some tomato sauce from his thumb. "Oh. You know Ino and Sai just hung that up, though. I didn't have time to get a tree this year, so that makes it the only holiday decoration I have. I'm at least keepin' it up until after New Year's."

"Why?" Sasuke smirked. "Is there someone you plan on kissing when the ball drops?"

"My options are kinda limited here, and you're about the only one who ever visits." Naruto slid the tray of four mini pizzas into the oven. "Well, besides my dad, but obviously I won't be kissin' him."

"Why do you act like you're a leper when all the girls at the bar tried to get you to stay last night? It seems to me that you're as popular as your father is with women in this town."

"You sound like Ino," Naruto mumbled and, walking over to open the fridge, grabbed a beer. "Want one?"

"No thanks. How is it I sound like Ino exactly?"

"She keeps naggin' me that I should date 'cause she thinks I'm lonely. As if that's a reason to date anyone. I don't even want relationship right now. I've got things I need to figure out first."

He sat at the table with Sasuke, taking a sip from the amber bottle.

"Is this regarding your drinking problem?" Sasuke snickered.

"I'm glad you think that's so funny."

"I figure if it was more serious, your friends wouldn't let you drink."

Naruto started peeling the label. "I didn't tell you this before, but one of the reasons I thought you and Sai seemed so similar at first was because… The way he and I became close to begin with, well, it kinda happened a lot like the first night you and I were together."

"When you phrase it in that way," he murmured, watching Naruto's fingers tearing up the colorfully-designed label, "You make it sound indecent."

"If you remember, you did try to take off my clothes." Naruto, propping his elbow on the table, held his chin in his hand. "It wasn't the first time I hung out with Sai, but it was the first night we really talked. We had this whole long philosophical debate about God, and… Sai's situation at home - "

"He told me a little about it," Sasuke commented when Naruto hesitated.

Naruto looked surprised. "He did?"

"I believe he said he grew up in an abusive household."

"Yeah, well. He told me about that, and… we talked it over, and then he told me why he had such a hard time at home."

"Is this when he came out to you?" Sasuke reached across the table and stole Naruto's beer. "Stop mutilating some poor designer's hard work."

"Heh, sorry." Naruto flicked the tiny pieces of paper across the table. "It was pretty clear which way he swung after he tried to kiss me. You know, kinda like you did in my bed." He started grinning in this smug way that made Sasuke want to smack him around.

"I thought we had a mutual gentlemen's agreement where we wouldn't ever talk about that."

"Sorry. It's 'cause you brought up the mistletoe. My mind wandered."

Sasuke slid the beer bottle back his way. "I wonder what it is about you that gay men have a tendency to want to make out with you."

"It's not my charm?" Naruto asked, mischief in his eyes.

"I highly doubt it."

"Not that I've decided or anything, but if I go back with you for that party, what are your friends like? You made it sound like they were partiers. Will they be anything like my friends?"

Sasuke grimaced. "I'd say they're the opposite."

"The opposite? What does that mean exactly?"

"Exactly what I said," he replied, but didn't feel like elaborating.

"And you say I suck at bein' able to talk about stuff," Naruto mumbled and got up from the chair to check on the pizzas.

"Naruto," he began reluctantly, "I just want to warn you that how I've been… who I've been with you… isn't normally how I am. My friends at college… I'm not sure how well you'll be able to get along with them, Neji especially."

"Neji? Is that an ex-boyfriend?" Naruto shut the oven door. "I think I can get along with pretty much anyone. You're difficult, but you and I still get along okay. Most of the time."

Sasuke decided not to take offense. "Does this mean you're interested in going with me? My apartment's not especially big, so you can have the couch or share the bed with me."

"Whatever is fine. I'm used to sharin' a bed with you by now, so that wouldn't matter."

"That might give my friends the wrong impression," he said. "They know I'm gay. They may give you crap, thinking you're a new boyfriend."

Naruto picked up the empty beer bottle and threw it in the trash bin under the sink. "Uh, here's a novel idea. Tell them we aren't together? How the hell are they gonna know our sleeping arrangements, and why would they even care?"

Sasuke scoffed. "I don't want to hear that after hanging out with your group of nosy friends."

"Hey, they weren't that bad." Naruto, crossing his arms, leaned against the counter. "I mean I think Sai interrogating you was just his way of… I dunno. Sniffing your butt?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You're very disturbed, aren't you?"

"My friends liked you a lot. They were sad when you left, although I think I'll spare them the details of what you were up to. Ino would come right back, and so would Karin."

"I'm sure you'll mention it to Sai. Don't the two of you tell each other everything? You're like a couple of schoolgirls."

"What's wrong with havin' someone you can tell anything to?" Naruto asked before checking on the pizzas again.

That comment caused a tightening in his chest. Sasuke remained quiet as Naruto set the pizza pan on the stove and retrieved a couple of plates from a cabinet. He served Sasuke first and then retook his seat at the table. They talked, mostly about irrelevant things. He thought Naruto was attempting to keep things light on purpose, but in the back of his mind, Sasuke was picturing the angry look on Naruto's face when he'd been yelling at him.

Was it strange to think their fighting actually brought them closer?

When they'd finished eating, he helped Naruto clean and put away dishes left over from today.

"Are you gonna be spendin' the night?" Naruto asked. "Or would you like me to take you home?"

"Why? Are you trying to say you're tired of me?"

"I didn't say anything like that. Plus it's gonna suck to drive in all this snow. It was already horrible drivin' back from the cemetery."

Sasuke accidentally let go of the cabinet door too soon so it slammed shut harder than he'd meant it to. "Sorry."

"How are you feelin', by the way?" Naruto asked.

"At the worst, I'll end up with a cold for a couple of days. I'll survive."

"No." Naruto stepped closer and pulled at his sleeve. "I meant… emotionally. I was wonderin' if you're feeling better."

"I don't… really want to talk about it."

Naruto nodded. "That's fair enough."

"You're still keeping your secrets obviously."

"I'm not. I told you why we moved here from San Diego. I can tell you I didn't get arrested. I was just… not myself if I drank too much."

"Wasn't Sai there to keep a leash on you?"

Naruto sighed. "Sai… has been there a lot for me since high school. It's part of the reason we're so close. Yeah, I tell him all kinds of things. He's my best friend. It feels wrong to talk to you about him when he's not here, which is why I don't know what to tell you. I'm gonna try to be more open with you, but it's hard. Not just 'cause that's who I am but because, the way you and I first met… you came to me for help, so I've felt like… I dunno."

"You do know. But you don't want to tell me. Really, Naruto," he said, "I'm beginning to think you have more trust issues than I do."

"Can I be honest with you?" Naruto asked, a little too seriously for his liking.

"If you think that's possible."

"Sasuke." Naruto, with only a foot of space separating them, glanced down at the floor. "I guess I'm stuck between… wanting to be a sort of spiritual advisor and… wanting to be your friend."

The instant Naruto raised his eyes, he thought for sure he wouldn't be able to fight this urge he was having to grab him by the collar and kiss him breathless. It made Sasuke ache for something more between them. He tried to suppress the feeling, though, as it seemed an important admission on Naruto's part. One that he hadn't necessarily considered but would explain the distance Naruto kept putting between them.

"You're not your father," he replied carefully. "I'm thankful you listened to me that night, and I'm…" Sasuke swallowed his pride. "Thankful for tonight, too. But I'd rather you treat me as a friend… if you think… not that I - "

Naruto started to laugh at him. "You're bein' so ridiculously adorable right now that m'gonna have to do this even if you beat me up afterward."

Much to his terror, he threw his arms around Sasuke's shoulders and hugged him.

"Just think, if we were standin' underneath the mistletoe, you coulda gotten a kiss out of it."

"Standing directly underneath is only a technicality," he replied, arms hanging at his sides, though they itched to return the embrace.

"You said friend, not make-out buddy," Naruto teased before letting him go.

"Even if that were to happen… I'm sure the moment would somehow get interrupted by an unfortunately-timed phone call from Sai or one of your other friends."

"You can't flirt with your savior." Naruto pressed his teeth into his bottom lip, which turned out to be a very appealing gesture to Sasuke.

"I thought we just clarified you're not anything but someone who now feels comfortable enough to yell at me and throw me into walls. Even when I was at death's door earlier."

"This guilt thing," said Naruto. "It's cute, but it's totally not gonna work. Those much better at it have tried, believe me."

Dammit. Sasuke was having that compulsion again, and if he didn't put some distance between them soon, he was absolutely going to kiss Naruto. How did Sai do it? How could he stand beside this guy and not want to kiss him or hold him or... a lot more than that? It was certainly very difficult for him to discern Naruto's teasing from what he'd normally construe as flirting.

"I should… probably let my parents know that I'll be staying the night… if that's okay."

Naruto broke into a full-fledged grin. "No, yeah. That's cool. But, if I'm goin' with you, we'll be stuck together, so this might be your only chance for freedom before then."

"If it's between you and hanging out with my parents, there's no competition."

"I dunno how I feel about that." Naruto gave him a playful shove. "I think… I _hope_ … you'll come back after New Year's since you have so much time left before classes start. I know your mom would be really happy to spend more time with you. I'm sure your dad would, too."

"Did she send you a Facebook message telling you so?"

Naruto chuckled. "Are you jealous I friended her before I did you?"

"I'm fairly sure," he said, "That only a few minutes ago… I accepted your friend request."

"Oh man. You really are gay." Naruto, turning him around, shoved him through the doorway. "Now, go call your mom and let her know I haven't kidnapped you. After that, maybe we can watch a movie or share more stories about our traumatic childhoods."

Sasuke twisted around enough to grab him by the wrist. "Is there something else traumatic that happened to you I should know about?"

Something flashed in Naruto's eyes, but he was quick to cover it up with another dopey grin.

"What would be the fun in revealin' everything at once? We won't have anything to talk about during the car ride."

"Naruto."

When Naruto tried to tug his arm free, Sasuke refused to let go.

"Stuff happened," Naruto told him and tried to blow it off with a shrug of his shoulder. "I don't wanna lie about that, but… I just… it's not somethin' you come out and tell someone."

"Like how I, _literally,_ came out and told you about Gaara?"

"Sasuke - "

Sasuke smiled if only because he didn't want to ruin this feeling of lightness in his chest, especially after what happened earlier. "I didn't mean anything by that. I won't pressure you anymore, but… I want to return the favor. If there's something you want to talk about or if you need someone to listen. I know I'm not Sai - "

Naruto made a face at his words.

" - But I won't judge you."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "You must already have it in your head that it's somethin' big. That makes me kinda nervous."

"No, I have no idea what it could be." He let go of the hold he had on his wrist. "But… I'd like to become someone you can trust. If that's even possible."

"You want another hug, don't you?"

Naruto, being the idiot that he was, stretched his arms out in front of him and started chasing after Sasuke like a zombie.

He walked away quickly, finding safety in Naruto's room, where he hastily shut the door. Sasuke smirked as Naruto proceeded to pound on it and moan his name (unfortunately, not in a sexy way). Slightly amused, Sasuke picked up his phone from off of the side table and dialed the number for his house. If Gaara were alive and here right now, what would he say? Would he laugh at him for wanting to have a friend like Naruto? One that was entirely different from the people he associated with at college?

There was also that whole _other_ issue.

Knowing Neji like he did, there's no way in _hell_ that man would meet Naruto and not torture Sasuke to death about it. Or, even worse, decide to make Naruto his next romantic target.

* * *

After they watched a couple episodes of _Game of Thrones_ together, Naruto decided to take a shower. Sasuke, not having much energy for anything else, ended up lying on the bed. Now that he was alone it felt okay to thumb through Gaara's sketchbook. Drawings on the first few pages were smudged, but, otherwise, it was in good condition. He felt very thankful Naruto went back for it. Next to some of the sketches were notes Gaara had made. Besides being an excellent artist, he'd had an affinity for reading and writing poetry, as well. Every four or five pages there would be a few lines scribbled out. Sasuke went through each page, scanning the drawings and lines of poetry. Rather than feel sad and empty like before, reading through these things made him relax a little. It was reassuring in a way. It made him feel as if Gaara were close.

While looking at a sketch that, more or less, was the lower part of Sasuke's naked body, Naruto's phone went off. He didn't have any intention of answering it until it occurred to him Sai, Ino, and Karin would still be driving toward San Diego at this point. In case it was an emergency or simply them wanting to check in, he slid off the side of the bed to check the caller ID. He grimaced when he saw that it was Sai, but thought Naruto would appreciate if he answered.

"He's in the shower," Sasuke said.

"You again?" Sai asked. "Don't you have a home of your own?"

"Where are you?"

"Nevada. We figured there was enough time to make a pitstop in Vegas. Don't tell Naruto, or he'll get jealous."

"Ah."

"Ino and Karin say hi."

He heard them in the background, calling out his name.

"They were very disappointed," said Sai. "When you left early. I hope everything's okay?"

Since he sounded sincere enough and because he didn't completely despise Sai, he thought it safe to be cordial.

"It's… better now." How should he put it. "It was a family emergency."

"Everyone's alright?"

"Yes." He rolled over and set the sketchbook on the closest side table. "Thanks for asking."

"Hm. So, what brings you to Naruto's exactly? You better not be in his bed."

Sasuke smirked. "So what if I am?"

"Not even having known you long, I can only imagine Naruto came to your rescue in some way. If he's in church mode, I doubt I have any reason to be worried about his virtue tonight."

"It's probably too late to be worried about his virtue anyway," Sasuke replied. "Since we both know how that worked out."

"Oh? Have the two of you been gossiping like school children?"

"He did promise to finally reveal all of his dark secrets. Although, so far, I've not heard anything that would make me suspect there may be bat cave under the house."

Sai chuckled. "So what, pray tell, has he told you exactly?"

"Worried we were talking about you?" He asked smugly.

"I know Naruto well enough to know he wouldn't."

Sasuke hummed, thinking it over. "He did draw me a bath."

There was a beat of silence on the other end.

"Also," he continued with a smirk, "Naruto's going with me to my university for New Year's. He seemed… interested."

"You're a real asshole, you realize that, right?" Sai clucked his tongue in annoyance.

Sasuke's smirk grew broader. "I'm sure that matters with you there and me… here."

"What is it you said Naruto was doing right now that you had to answer his phone?"

"He's in the shower."

Sai groaned. "Are you sure we can't turn this car around?"

He obviously wasn't asking Sasuke, and then there was feminine chatter in the background.

"Sasuke?"

It was Ino. He lost some of his bravado hearing her voice.

"Hi, Ino. Drive going well?"

"Yeah, it's been fun. Are you okay? Naruto seemed really worried about you earlier."

"I'm fine," he reassured her. "I… family emergency."

"Oh no! I hope your parents are all okay?"

"They're fine. Naruto's in the shower, by the way." He pushed his hair back while staring up at the ceiling.

Ino giggled. "And you're not in there with him?"

He heard Sai yell something he couldn't make out.

"I think Sai's jealous," Ino told him. "So, are you excited about going back to school soon?"

"Actually. I was just telling Sai that Naruto will be going with me."

"That's great! But… wait. I thought you had a date, or… no?"

Sasuke pressed his teeth into his bottom lip. "No. A friend from college is having a party. I'll… probably end up coming back here, though. To drop Naruto off at least."

"Really? I bet Naruto will like that."

"I haven't mentioned it to him," said Sasuke. "We only talked about it a few hours ago. I don't think we've made any real plans."

"That makes me happy. I mean, I know he had the services at the church, but I really hated the idea of him being alone in that house. Plus, you two can get to know each other better."

"Something like that."

Speak of the devil, the bedroom door opened, and Naruto spotted him with his phone. He didn't do more than raise an eyebrow.

"Looks like he's out of the shower, Ino. I'll let you talk to him."

Sasuke held out the phone without bothering to get up, so Naruto had to crawl halfway onto the bed to retrieve it. He tossed his towel at Sasuke. Naruto was wearing a pair of black pajama pants and no shirt. While he was preoccupied, Sasuke ran his eyes over his broad, muscled back. Beads of water fell from his shoulders, and he could all but imagine being able to catch them on his tongue. He hoped that if Naruto intended on sharing a bed with him that he'd make himself decent first. Even if Naruto didn't feel that way about him, and even after such a shitty day, it didn't stop his hormones from reacting to sharing a bed with an attractive man.

It was slightly amusing when Naruto suddenly looked over his shoulder and caught him in the act of staring. Surprisingly, he smirked at Sasuke.

"Yeah," he was saying to whom he assumed to be Ino still, "I'm stuck with Sasuke again. He's like a cat, y'know? You bring him home from the pound and he acts like he hates you at first… and then next thing you know he's got his claws in your pant leg so you won't leave him alone."

Sasuke frowned at this comparison, but he was in a good mood, so he let it slide. Even when Naruto grabbed for his shin and shook him. Sasuke slapped his hand away.

"Hiss," he said, and Naruto let out one of those ridiculously great laughs of his.

"Nothin'," Naruto replied to something Ino asked. "Oh. Did he tell you about that? I guess we're goin' on a road trip together." Pause. "No, I haven't told dad yet, but he'll be okay without me. Luckily, the Christmas program was enough for the kids, so we didn't plan a New Year's thing."

Feeling tired, Sasuke rolled to his side, facing Naruto. He started playing with his chain.

"Ah… _yeah_ … a family emergency." Naruto was looking at him questioningly as he turned to face him more. "He's okay now. I think. You okay, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's lids felt heavy. "I'm okay, Naruto."

"He looks like he's about to fall asleep." Naruto chuckled, and Sasuke shut his eyes, just listening to him prattle on with Ino.

He did think those two would make a good couple. They had complementary temperaments, and both were very attractive. Their children would be… incredibly blond.

The slightest pressure on his head caused Sasuke to open his eyes again. Naruto was closer, having just brushed a piece of his hair from off of his face. In his tired state, he thought there might not be anything wrong with reaching out to him and pulling him in for a kiss. Before he could even really think it through, though, Naruto was off the bed and out the bedroom door.

Sasuke could hear him talking all the way to the living room. That's too bad. He was feeling rather lulled by the sound of Naruto's deep, husky voice. It had him imagining Naruto as a pastor. Hadn't he said Minato expected him to follow in his footsteps? Sasuke didn't think that would suit him, but he, out of all people, understood what it was like to do things just to make family happy. Then again, he also thought Naruto wouldn't do anything he didn't want to. He tried to imagine what he would've been like in San Diego. Was Naruto exaggerating by insinuating he partied and drank enough that his father decided to relocate them to the middle of nowhere? Was that why Naruto's relationship with Minato seemed so tenuous at times?

He hadn't learned much of what he'd wanted to, but given that they'd be spending several days together, he figured it was likely to come up again. This time, however, he wanted to see if Naruto would open up on his own. He thought something like that would be more satisfying in the long-run. After all, he had no complaints considering he was sharing a bed with Naruto tonight. Sasuke smirked a little, thinking about how it was probably driving Sai crazy to know the two of them were spending time alone together.

They hadn't been alone like this since that first night.

It seemed he was just about to drift off when Naruto returned again another ten minutes later. He came into the room and shut the door.

"It's cold," he mumbled, coming to the other side of the bed to rifle through his dresser.

"That's because you don't have a shirt on," Sasuke replied sleepily.

"Someone sounds tired." Naruto pulled a long-sleeved shirt on. "How you feelin'?"

Before he could respond, Naruto was already at his side, feeling his head with the back of his hand.

"You feel a little warm. I wonder if I should give you something."

Sasuke's mind, of course, played out a rather witty retort about what Naruto could give him but decided not to vocalize it.

"You always fall asleep on top of the covers," Naruto said, pulling the covers out from underneath him and then covering him up.

"You're very maternal," Sasuke teased.

"Do you mind if I set this on the dresser?" Naruto gestured to the sketch pad that teetered precariously on the edge of the nightstand.

"...Aren't you curious at all?" He watched Naruto's face closely.

"I wouldn't invade your privacy."

"Did you ever consider that I wanted you to see it?"

Naruto's lips parted just a breath. "If… you don't mind, then yeah. Is it really okay?"

Sasuke nodded. "It's okay."

"Now?"

"If you want."

Naruto, while looking at the sketchbook's cover, gingerly pressed his hand on top of it.

"It's not a Bible," said Sasuke. "I won't make you swear on it."

"Smartass." Naruto walked across the room to turn on the lamp at his side of the bed and then went over to the main switch to turn the overhead light off.

Sasuke rolled to his side underneath the covers as Naruto got in bed with him. Quietly, he watched as Naruto went through each page, blue eyes studying every drawing or line with careful attention. Sasuke liked when Naruto would smile at something he saw, or if he was reading a line of poetry, how the furrow between his eyebrows would deepen. His eyes were glassy, which moved him. It made him happy to see Naruto being affected by it so much.

As he came to the end of the book, Naruto looked down at him, appearing as if he wanted to say something. Instead, he simply put his hand on top of Sasuke's head.

Sasuke spoke first. "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

"Behold, I make all things new." Naruto smiled, but a tear slipped down his cheek, though the blond moved to wipe it away quickly. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

"Now you know what I looked like naked when I was a teenager."

Naruto barked out a laugh. "Why would you say such a thing?"

"Because seeing you sad is slightly upsetting. That's not the face of yours I'm used to."

"I don't laugh and smile all the time," Naruto replied softly and set the sketchbook to the side.

"I bet you don't."

"Are you warm enough?" Naruto asked, turning so that they faced one another, a conservative amount of space between their bodies.

"I know what could make me warmer." He smirked.

"I don't know how I feel about you hittin' on me after I just went through Gaara's naked sketches of you."

Sasuke scoffed. "They aren't all of me. And I'm not naked in all of them, but now you can see why it made Gaara's orientation so obvious."

"Yeah." Naruto bit into his lip. "I hope his father is in jail for a long time, or…?"

"He didn't get the death penalty if that's what you're about to ask. He's in prison… not so far from here."

Naruto made a face. "That's disgusting."

"You're more of a believer of an eye for an eye?"

"Sometimes."

He thought Naruto looked morose all of a sudden.

"I didn't mean to dampen your mood," said Sasuke. "You seemed happy to be able to talk to Ino. Did you talk to Sai, as well?"

"I did. He was taunting me for goin' back to your school with you. I told him you had that booty call you needed to make, so I'd find ways to entertain myself."

Sasuke sighed. "Neji is…"

Well, it would be a lie to say they'd never hooked up.

"Friends with benefits," he finished.

"I see."

He searched Naruto's face for signs of judgment but found none.

"You won't like him," said Sasuke. "Neji, I mean. I think he'll be for you what Sai was for me."

"So, you might walk in on us makin' out in the bathroom one night?"

"If Neji had his way, I think that's very possible," he replied, frowning. "There's… also Sakura."

"Sakura?" Naruto looked interested, which was more than annoying. "Who's that?"

"A friend. She'll… probably be interested in you."

"Oh? Sounds like she has great taste." Naruto smiled broadly at him.

Sasuke glared.

"I'm kiddin'. I can't imagine myself hittin' on someone who's a friend of yours."

"I don't care if you do," he said. "Why would I?"

Naruto shrugged beneath the blankets. "Seems rude."

"Are you saying that because I kissed Sai?"

"No. Just sayin'. So, Neji, hm? What's he like?" Naruto slid his hand beneath the pillow, curling up so that his socked toes nudged the side of Sasuke's leg. "Is he good looking?"

"I would say so, yes."

"Not gonna describe him?"

"You'll see him soon enough," he replied. "Wouldn't you rather hear about Sakura?"

"Sure, but I was just curious about what kind of guys you like."

"Oh?" Sasuke managed a lop-sided grin.

"Good in bed?" Naruto asked.

"Pretty decent, yes." Sasuke made a face, though. "A little selfish maybe."

Naruto laughed. "I have the opposite problem."

Sasuke grinned in full. "I can see that about you."

"Don't look at me with those lecherous eyes of yours." He placed his fingers against Sasuke's eyelids and shut them.

"You let Sai do it."

Naruto removed his fingers, granting him the gift of sight again. "You really wanna know about me and him, don't you?"

He perked up some. "I do."

"Because…?"

"Curiosity."

"That's not a very good reason, Sasuke. That… doesn't sound like you."

"I am human, Naruto."

Naruto let out a long sigh, and, for some reason, Sasuke's heart began to race. Those devastatingly blue eyes searched his for a while, and then Naruto sighed for a second time.

"Okay." He nodded. "What do you wanna know? I said I'd tell you somethin', and I try to keep my word."

Sasuke could only stare at first. Every question he'd had over the past several days grew like noise inside his brain, but then… he began to feel guilty and childish for wanting to know. Before tonight, he'd thought Naruto owed it to him and, while still curious, it felt wrong.

"You don't have to."

"Oh, see. That's just like you." He pushed at Sasuke. "I finally give in, and you're like 'No, it's all good. I don't want to know anymore.' Yeah, you're one of those guys who's all about the chase."

"Maybe." Still, he smiled at Naruto. "You've… kissed him?"

"You know I have," Naruto replied, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

"I know he kissed you the night he came out to you."

"Are you… sure you wanna hear about this? We can't go back from this point." Naruto frowned. "Why did you just make that face?"

"What face?"

"It was a look of disappointment. I think."

"Move the blanket, it's hard to hear what you're saying." Sasuke tugged at it since it had been hiding half of Naruto's face and muffling his words. "Let me put it this way. Being a gay man, I find it hard to believe Sai has the willpower to keep his hands to himself around you."

"He obviously didn't have the willpower to keep his hands off of you this weekend."

"Jealous?" Sasuke asked without malice.

"Yeah."

"Of me… or of him?"

Naruto breathed in deeply. "Do I have to answer?"

"No."

Naruto reached across and grabbed for Sasuke's chain. "You wear this like some do a cross."

"Everyone has their different cross they bear."

Naruto's eyes lifted from the silver chain to his face. "Sai and I…"

Sasuke felt only patience as he waited for Naruto's next words.

"We have a past."

He nodded. "I see."

Naruto let go of Gaara's necklace. " _I_ have a past."

"Okay."

"When I found you in front of Gaara's grave… I wasn't even sure you were alive."

"I'm sorry." It's all he could think to say.

Again, Naruto pulled the blanket close to himself. "I'm… I think I'm afraid to tell you anything. A little because it's private. Some of it's embarrassing. And another part of me is...scared."

"Scared?"

How badly did he want to hold Naruto right now? Sasuke was not the type of person to do comfort and yet, looking at the conflict and hesitation apparent in Naruto's face right now, it's all he could think about.

"That if I tell you, you won't like me anymore." Naruto shut his eyes. "I guess."

"I told you my life story, but you didn't turn me away, though I very much expected it."

"It's… not you. It's more habit. The partying and bein' forced to move here is embarrassing, yeah, but the other stuff… the stuff I can sense you wanna know… it's painful."

"So don't tell me."

Because he couldn't stand it anymore, he reached for a few strands of Naruto's hair and pushed them to the side, behind his ear.

"You won't hate me?" Naruto asked, his voice small and fragile.

"No, Naruto. I won't hate you. Did you kill a man?"

"No." He scowled at Sasuke. "Ass."

Sasuke smirked. "There. That's more like you." He adopted a more serious expression. "You were saying. You only need tell me one thing at a time if you want. There's no need to rush. We'll be spending a lot more time together before I'm out of your hair permanently."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because Naruto abruptly covered his face.

"Did I say something wrong?"

When Naruto didn't answer, Sasuke reached for his wrist to pull his hand away.

"Naruto?"

In moving his hand, Sasuke was now clearly able to see the tears streaking down his cheeks. Why did it feel like his own heart was breaking in seeing Naruto like this? On instinct, he pulled Naruto to him, wrapping his arms around him beneath the blanket they shared. He felt Naruto's body shaking and squeezed tighter while pushing his fingers through soft, blond hair.

"I'm sorry," Naruto mumbled. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"What are you apologizing for, idiot?" Sasuke asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"I'm _sorry_."

"Shh, Naruto."

He felt the blond's hot breath on his neck as he burrowed under Sasuke's chin, arms wrapped tightly about his waist and clinging to the back of Sasuke's shirt.

For unknown reasons, Naruto wept in his arms for a while. Sasuke wasn't like Naruto. He didn't have the right words to say so he simply held the other man until, eventually, Naruto fell asleep. While the position felt intimate and oddly gratifying, Sasuke rolled Naruto over toward his side of the bed.

He watched him sleep, his round cheeks ruddy from the tears. Tears that had turned those eyes Sasuke loved so much into an icy shade of blue. What had he been through? What had he meant by a 'past'? By now, he was positive Naruto and Sai had been more than friends… at least at one point. It would account for Sai's possessive behavior and Naruto's… responsiveness to the older man's touches and attention. It didn't make him jealous exactly. Rather, he was feeling oddly protective of Naruto in this moment. It was strange how the evening started with Naruto coming to find him, saving him, caring for him, but now he was being given an opportunity to return the favor. Even if it was in a small way that didn't quite compare to everything Naruto had done for him so far.

Yet, it was a step forward for him. To care about someone else, to worry about them.

He hadn't felt that way since Gaara. Was that… dangerous?

The idea of losing someone again, it… no, this wasn't about him.

Sasuke, after making sure Naruto was bundled up, reached over him to turn off the light. He could hear the other man as he began to softly snore. Sasuke settled under the blanket, mind and heart restless as he faced Naruto's form in the darkness. What did it mean to want to protect other people? Gaara's face kept coming up in his thoughts.

 _Gaara_.

Being dead, did Gaara have the answers only those who'd passed on know? As a Christian, Sasuke very much believed in an afterlife. He thought the dead were able to see the invisible strings that bound people's fates. What, though, bound him to Naruto?

He honestly had no idea, but, in his heart, he felt certain there was purpose.

"Naruto," he whispered. "What am I supposed to do?"

No answer came. Not from Naruto and not from any prophetic vision. There was only the wind, and the sound of Naruto's snores, like a child's. He wasn't sure he had the courage to, but he searched out Naruto's hand underneath the blanket and, when he found it, clasped their fingers together. For the second time tonight, he closed his eyes and prayed for guidance or answers. Not just for himself, but for Naruto, as well. Because, he thought, their pain may be the same.

Because when Naruto hurt…

...Sasuke felt it, too.


	11. Chapter 11

Naruto, quieter than usual, had driven him home that next day. Neither of them were morning people, so he didn't think much of it, and since then, they'd spoken only on the phone a few times to discuss their upcoming trip. Unfortunately, Sasuke had been correct in his prediction of coming down with a cold, but he'd always been quick to get over any illness. After two days of being stuck in bed at his house, Naruto stopped by with the pastor, who brought him a whole pot of chicken noodle soup. Since Sasuke had been ordered by his mother to stay in bed, Naruto came upstairs to visit while Minato chatted with her in the kitchen. It had taken some convincing for Minato to let Naruto out of the New Year's services (he was fairly sure his mother had some influence there), and Sasuke's parents were also fine with him leaving so long as he agreed to return afterward as a compromise.

Maybe this was the low-grade fever talking, but Sasuke thought Naruto was acting strangely subdued while hanging out in his room. The visit didn't last very long either as Naruto had been assigned a whole list of Good Samaritan duties he needed to attend to: driveway shoveling, volunteering at a soup kitchen, and teaching small children how to sing and dance at the same time without falling off a stage. Before he left, he promised to call later in the evening. Having nothing else to do once Naruto was gone, Sasuke spent the rest of the day reading and watching shows on his computer.

It wasn't until around 9 p.m. that his phone rang.

"Busy day?" He asked Naruto instead of a greeting.

"Yeah, you could say that." It sounded like a door slammed in the background. "I'm just gettin' home. Dad had me runnin' everywhere this afternoon, and I swear it's punishment for not goin' to the New Year's services."

"Would he really do that?" Sasuke asked, rolling up a pair of socks that he stuffed in his suitcase. "You have packed, haven't you? I'll leave without you if you're not ready."

"I haven't, but it won't take me long."

"Naruto." He took a seat on the edge of the bed, bothered by the fact Naruto kept acting and sounding strange.

"What's up?"

"You do… still want to go, right? Don't feel obligated just because you agreed the other night."

"Why wouldn't I wanna go?"

Sasuke, reaching for his chain, stared at the alarm clock on his nightstand. "If your father's giving you such a hard time about it - "

"That doesn't matter," Naruto mumbled. "I'm lookin' forward to it honestly. It'll be good to get out of town for a while."

"Then I'm glad to be offering you an escape. I hope you won't be too intimidated when surrounded by so many intellectuals? What with you being a college dropout and all."

"Harsh," Naruto replied. "I did go for two years, y'know."

He frowned. "I was only kidding."

"It's hard to tell sometimes," Naruto muttered. "I'll try not to embarrass you in front of your more educated friends."

"Naruto, I really didn't mean anything by that. I was only teasing you."

Naruto let out a sigh. "I'm tired, Sasuke."

It was odd and unfamiliar, this impulse he kept having. Or, an image of a scene, really, where if he was there now, he would suggest doing the packing for him so that Naruto could relax and then go to bed without having to do anything.

"I'll drive tomorrow then, and you can take a nap if you're so tired," he offered in a softer tone of voice.

"Yeah, but you're just startin' to feel better, aren't you? I'll drive."

"I feel a lot better already, so don't worry about that. You realize when we get there, we'll have to go grocery shopping. I know what you like to _drink_ , but I'm not entirely sure what you like to eat. _Shit_."

"What?"

"I just remembered my heater's broken and I forgot to tell the landlord."

"I'll bring my toolbox," said Naruto. "I can fix it for you. It's a gas radiator, right? I think you said you lived in an older building. I have those in my house."

"Yes." He pressed his teeth into his lip. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind. You know I like doin' that kind of stuff. What were you up to before I called?"

"Packing. I'm finishing now."

Naruto yawned. "Well, so that I don't keep you waitin' in the morning, I'll go do that now, too. You'll be here at 9, right?"

"...I can always come later if you need more time. There's no rush since the party's not until tomorrow night."

"I'll be ready. I'll see you in the mornin'. Night, Sasuke."

Naruto hung up without waiting for his response. Uncertain, Sasuke blinked at the phone. It wasn't his imagination. Naruto did seem… off. However, he decided not to overanalyze it considering Naruto did say he _wanted_ to go. Sasuke couldn't say he'd had too many visitors while at college. He didn't always like having guests since he preferred having his own personal space, but the idea of having Naruto in his apartment didn't bother him much. They'd already been hanging out enough that he was used to spending time with him.

Setting his suitcase near the desk, Sasuke headed downstairs to tell his parents goodnight. His father, who appeared engrossed with his World War II documentary on the History channel, seemed in a bad mood. Apparently there'd been a rather bad traffic accident earlier today and things were hectic at the station. Sasuke never asked about details when those things happened, and it was very rare for his father to talk about work once at home.

"We'll see you in the morning," said his mother. Smiling at him, she looked up briefly from her iPad. "I'll make something for you and Naruto to snack on while you drive."

"Thanks, mother." Sasuke's eyes strayed to his father, who didn't look as though he even noticed him standing there.

He left and went upstairs to his room again. After shutting the door, Sasuke pulled back the blankets on his bed and crawled underneath them. He made sure his alarm was set. While checking his phone, he almost hoped to see a message from Naruto, but there was none. Well, he'd see the idiot in the morning, and if he was still acting bratty, then Sasuke would knock some sense into him. That night… he'd been able to see what Naruto was like when he wasn't operating in "church mode." He liked it because it was real, because it felt like he was being treated the same way Naruto did his other friends. In fact, he was looking forward to spending more time with him; although, he did have to wonder whether Naruto, in any way, felt the same.

* * *

Because he'd spent the last day in bed, Sasuke was up early on New Year's Eve. He felt well-rested and ready to get out of the house. He did have to assure his mother several times that he was well enough to go. She'd packed him and Naruto sandwiches, drinks, chips, and other snacks. His father was up even earlier than him and had already left for the station. Grabbing his backpack and the small cooler from his mom, Sasuke went out to put his things in the car. The windshields were covered in ice, so he turned on the defrost. Ahead of schedule, he went back inside the house to text Naruto that he'd be on the way soon.

 _I'm ready when you are_ was Naruto's reply to him.

He gave the car another 10 minutes to warm up and then, after hugging his mother goodbye, headed to Naruto's to pick him up.

* * *

When Sasuke arrived, he parked on the street and left the car idling while he went up to the house to knock on the door. Naruto had only a duffel bag and his red metal toolbox, which Sasuke offered to carry for him.

"Ready for this?" Sasuke asked as they were walking back to the car.

Looking worn out, Naruto spared him a small smile. "I can't tell you how much I'm lookin' forward to gettin' out of town for a few days."

"What, did you have another fight with your father about going?"

The blond shrugged. "Somethin' like that."

Sasuke frowned as he opened the back door so Naruto could dump his stuff inside. He placed Naruto's toolbox inside the trunk, which was already filled with all of his Christmas presents. When he got in on the driver's side, Naruto was buckling up.

"How are you feelin'?" Naruto asked. "You look rested."

"I spent the last two days sleeping, so I'm good. What about you? You look exhausted. Did the kids and senior citizens wear you out yesterday?"

Naruto grabbed the rearview mirror, rubbing his face and trying to even out the circles under his eyes. "Yeah, well. We can't all wake up lookin' as good as you do in the morning."

Sasuke flushed. "Idiot," he muttered, fastening his own seatbelt. "You're in charge of the music."

"Me? Ah, okay. Is this the Bluetooth button?" He started pressing all kinds of buttons until Sasuke slapped his hand away.

"I'll do it. Give me your phone." He swiped it out of Naruto's hand, noticing he had several message notifications at the top. Quickly, Sasuke paired up Naruto's phone with the car, and they were able to get on the road.

The first 10 minutes were quiet and peaceful as Naruto searched for whatever playlist or station he wanted. Today's weather had decided to be accommodating. It wasn't even snowing, and there was a little bit of sunshine slicing through the clouds.

"I like the Black Keys, don't you?" Naruto asked.

"I don't really listen to them, so no," he answered.

"That's a shame. Sai doesn't like them either." He glanced at Sasuke, a quirk to his lips. "Maybe they don't appeal to gay guys?"

"I'm sure they would if they all looked like you." He smirked back.

Naruto laughed. "Very smooth, Sasuke."

"You know. Yesterday, I thought you were quiet. When you came to visit I mean."

"Huh? Who, me?"

He braked for a stop sign. "No, that other idiot sitting in the car with me. Yes, you."

"I didn't notice."

Sasuke kept his eyes forward. "Are you feeling awkward about the other night?"

"God, you really are direct, aren't you?" Naruto let out a long sigh. "Of course I feel awkward about the other night. I never cry, and you made me cry all over myself."

"I didn't make you - ," he started to say only to clear his throat. "I mean, I apologize. I'm not entirely sure what it is I did, but… it wasn't my intention to upset you."

"I know," Naruto murmured, watching out the window. "It's not you, Sasuke."

"I'll make it up to you, though."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean I'll take you out to dinner once we get there. Plus, you're going to be my handyman, so I figure I can do at least that much. Do you like anything in particular to eat? There's a lot of good restaurants near campus, and since it's break, it shouldn't be too crowded."

"I like whatever," said Naruto, "Just take me to one of your favorite places."

"Alright. I have something in mind then." He spared the blond a brief glance. "Mother packed us some sandwiches. Or, if you want something to drink, everything's in that cooler."

"I'm good for now, thanks." Naruto set his phone in one of the cup holders. "That was nice of your mom."

"It was nice of your father to bring soup."

Naruto didn't reply and went back to staring out the window. After a few seconds, his phone buzzed for about the third time, so he picked it up and read his messages.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke was watching him and saw the way his eyes lit up as he read the text.

"Is that Sai?" He asked as coolly as possible.

"Yeah. We talked for a long while last night. He's just checkin' in."

"Oh, while you were packing?"

"Uh, about right after I got off the phone with you. He said they're all gonna go to some party out for New Year's. Another friend of mine who you didn't get to meet."

"Are you jealous they're going without you?" He asked.

Naruto made a humming noise. "Not really. I mean, I'm goin' out with you, right? Even if you seem to think I won't get along with your friends."

"You might," he said, "You never know. I just… comparing them to your friends, it feels… different."

"Different?" Naruto looked at him quizzically. "How so?"

The answer must have interested him, as Naruto turned down the radio volume. Sasuke sighed once they came to a stoplight close to the outskirts of town.

"Your friends are warm and welcoming," Sasuke attempted to explain. "Mine, on the other hand... I don't know if you'll feel the same."

"I don't need everyone to be alike for me to get along with them. Sai, Ino, and Karin are just a few of my friends. In high school I got along with all kinds of people. I mean, workin' in the church, I've met people who've tested my patience. I've also met people who are incredibly kind and sincere. And I've met people I wish I could beat the shit out of. So, don't worry."

"You've really met parishioners you wanted to beat up?" Sasuke asked. "Does your father know about this?"

"He does."

Naruto spoke with so much conviction, Sasuke couldn't help a raised eyebrow. "Explain?"

"You ask too many questions." Naruto slapped his arm playfully with the back of his hand. "Let me ask questions."

"Fine."

"You and Neji. You've screwed around but never dated?"

Sasuke, caught off guard by the question, gripped the wheel. "We've gone out, but, no, we've never dated each other seriously."

"How come?" Naruto turned off the music.

"I…" He had to think about it. "I don't know how else to put it other than we'd end up strangling each other. Neji's very opinionated. You might say he's arrogant."

"So, you two are a lotta like then?" Naruto cracked a smirk.

"Yes," he answered seriously. "I'd say we're both a little too mean to be a couple."

"Mean? You consider yourself to be mean? Really?"

Sasuke shot him a skeptical look, unsure if Naruto was being sarcastic. "I consider myself to be highly critical and analytical. I consider Neji to be the same, but even more so. My flaws would get on his nerves, and I'd feel the same."

"You must not talk a lot to each other during sex, huh?"

Sasuke snorted. "You could say that. What about you and Ino, did you two talk a lot during sex?"

Naruto started biting at one of his nails. "Hey, I'm the one askin' the questions here, and, for the record, it's been a long time since that happened."

"But you've slept with other women since then?"

"Sasuke." Naruto leaned into his space. "You… can I ask you somethin' personal? Actually, I'm gonna be like you and just ask whatever's on my mind. When you ask questions like that, do you _realize_ that makes the other person uncomfortable?"

Immediately, Sasuke felt his cheeks turn hot. "But you asked about Neji."

"I didn't start off askin' about sex, though. I just wanted to know about him as a person, but I was kinda takin' a page from your playbook and didn't use a filter."

"Sorry if I don't understand your rules of conversation." He frowned. "I thought we were at a place where we could talk about some of these things more openly."

"You've always been at that place." Naruto sighed. "And, no. She's not the only woman I've slept with, but I can't say I've slept with many anyway."

Sasuke didn't reply as he was brooding over what Naruto just said. He did usually understand about boundaries, but with Naruto, he couldn't help himself. For some reason, he felt extremely curious about him and his past. It wasn't even normal for him to ask a person so many questions, especially about themselves, so no wonder he was bad at it. He would've thought Naruto might understand something like that without always criticizing him.

"I do appreciate," Naruto continued, "That you haven't asked about Sai. Y'know. Because of what I said the other night before you reduced me to tears."

"I don't really care about you crying, Naruto, so stop being a drama queen. I thought it was enough you told me as much as you did, even if I'm not entirely sure what it means that the two of you have history. I have a general idea, however. But since it apparently makes you so _uncomfortable_ , I know at least enough to not bring it up anymore."

"Thanks." Naruto set his hand on Sasuke's forearm. "You know, even if you're bein' sarcastic right now, I like this about you."

"You finally found something to like about me?" He asked dryly. "Here I thought you were about to accuse me of being autistic since my social skills are so questionable."

"Aw, don't be like that." Naruto turned the music on again, but kept the volume low. "I think… no, I _know_ I find the way you talk refreshing. I never have to guess the meaning behind your words. I'm not even sure if you're capable of lyin' since that would imply you care what people think - "

"Naruto," he said, getting annoyed.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. I kind of admire it. Yeah, sometimes it feels like your questions come out of left field or hit a little too close to home, but I never think you do it with the intent to hurt anyone, but… that's the thing, I guess. You just… go right for the jugular without any reservations."

"Now you're over-exaggerating things," he replied. "Other people might find it flattering to have someone be so interested in them."

When he glanced at Naruto, he looked as if those words had embarrassed him.

"You just said I was brutally honest," Sasuke commented at seeing his surprise, "Why would I ask you so many questions if I wasn't interested in you?"

"Ah." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I - er. Okay. You really _are_ so damn direct. Dammit. Worse than Sai even."

"Should I just not talk at all?"

"No. I _love_ the way you talk," Naruto mumbled. "Don't get the wrong idea. I like it, how you are, but I'm also still adjusting to it. It was harder before, when I thought you'd be leavin' so soon after we met. What was the point of you askin' me so many things and me confessing to everything possible if you were only in town for a week, y'know?"

"I… see your point," he replied, and, to be honest, hadn't really thought of it that way.

"You probably didn't even think of it that way, did you?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I hadn't."

"Sometimes… sometimes I think you're so pure, Sasuke. It amazes me."

Sasuke thought he was joking until he looked over and saw his expression.

"How so?" He asked.

Naruto just shrugged. "I hope you never change."

Sasuke wasn't pleased with that response. In fact, he was puzzled by Naruto's comment. Pure? Him? He was sure his parents wouldn't agree with that if they knew the truth about his lifestyle, the things he'd done, or the lies he'd told to protect himself. Yet, Naruto called him honest. Sasuke had never thought of himself that way at all. He certainly didn't like to bullshit, and he didn't like when other people did it either. For the most part, he'd say Naruto was the honest one. Sometimes he held back, but Sasuke figured that was because if Naruto were to answer, he'd end up giving the God's honest truth.

Once on the highway, they were quiet for a while. Naruto was texting again, but Sasuke wasn't usually much of a talker during long drives anyway.

About 45 minutes into their three hour drive, Naruto turned around in his seat to rifle through the cooler. He grabbed one of the bottles of Gatorade his mother packed.

"Want one?" Naruto asked.

"I'm fine."

"You're not mad, are you?"

"No," he said because he really wasn't. "I'm not mad."

"Where are you gonna take me tonight? Did you decide yet?"

"I'm torn. Between an Italian and a French fusion restaurant."

"Sounds fancy. Aren't these date kind of places?"

"Why, are you going to put out afterward?" He kept his eyes on the road, his tone snarky.

"We should get to know each other better before we take it to the next level," Naruto replied, so deadpan that Sasuke needed to clarify if he was being serious.

Naruto's eyebrow went up at his look. "I was kidding."

"I figured," he muttered. "I bet Sai's ears are burning right now."

Hilariously enough, Naruto's phone went off, buzzing loudly from inside the cup holder. He smirked as he picked it up to read the text.

"You must be psychic," Naruto said in a quiet voice. "He's just worried about me. That's all."

"Worried about you being with me, or you in general?"

"...Both."

Again, Sasuke was surprised by Naruto's willingness to answer. "He's really worried about you spending a few days with me?"

"Yeah," Naruto responded while turning toward the window. "I'm sure he wouldn't like me tellin' you that. He's already mad I told you he and I have a past."

"You saying that didn't even tell me anything. He realizes that, right?" Sasuke scowled at the road ahead of them.

"Well, I didn't wanna tell you a whole lot anyway given that I wanted to talk to him first. Hence why he found out and got pissed, but he doesn't stay mad very long, so he's just being…"

"Clingy?" Sasuke suggested.

Naruto sighed. "Kinda. Yeah. Like I said, he's only worried. He knows things are rough for me, what with the movin' away from all of my friends and then the not really havin' any close friends in my new town… and fightin' with my dad about every other day. Yeah, that's what friends do. They worry. I hear from Ino and Karin, too. Every day pretty much."

"Was it really so bad that you had no choice but to come here with your father?"

"I… " Naruto played with the seatbelt strap, "I wanted to give him a chance. We were so busy with the church when we first moved here a few months ago that there wasn't time to think about what I left behind or my problems and now… I dunno. It's tiring. I'm tired. I miss San Diego, but I think I can make a difference at this church. I keep tellin' myself that it's good for me, soul cleansing or whatever. Or, maybe I feel like I can atone here if I can help others."

"Or, you helping others is a way for you to avoid all of your problems."

"Heh." Naruto let out a sharp laugh. "That's possible, too. Sai said the same thing."

"He knows you fairly well, so I would listen to what he says."

"... Did you just praise Sai?"

"Hardly."

"You'd _so_ make out with him again," Naruto teased.

"I already know _you_ would," Sasuke returned.

"Ah, Sasuke. You know…"

"No, I don't know because I'm being polite and not asking anything."

"What do you want?" Naruto asked. "A number? If I give you a number, will that satisfy you?"

"If you thought you could tell me without having to ask Sai's permission first."

Naruto sent him a glare. "You're such an asshole."

"We've already established that," he replied. "Are we talking about how many times the two of you made out, or something else?"

"Do you want me to say that he and I have had sex? I'm really curious why the answer is so important. Do you _usually_ ask other guys about their sex lives like this?"

"Only if I'm interested in having sex with them," he replied. "You I'm curious about because I figured you were straight, and now it doesn't seem you are. Or was that too blunt of me to say?"

Naruto hit his head against the dashboard, and apparently giving up, just lay like that for a few minutes.

"Are you warm enough?" Sasuke asked, smirking to himself because now he purposely wanted to get under Naruto's skin.

"Shut up, Sasuke."

He snickered. "I hope we can spend the next few days like this."

"What, you torturing me?"

"I think I like it because there's nowhere for you to escape."

"Pretty sure if I jump out of the car I'll only break about half of the bones in my body," Naruto replied, sitting back in the seat again.

"I hear you're just supposed to roll with it. Don't fight the momentum once you're on the ground." He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, in rhythm with the beat of the song playing.

"Three."

Sasuke glanced at him. "What?"

"You asked, so I'm answering." Naruto's lips were pressed in a thin line.

"You've made out with him three times?"

"No…"

Sasuke squeezed the wheel, needing to watch the road or else he'd drive off of it.

"Do you need clarification?" Naruto asked.

"No," he said. "... I don't think so."

"Now you know."

"Yeah," he replied. "Now I know."

* * *

When they were 30 minutes from his apartment, Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, who'd fallen asleep about 15 minutes ago. He swore, too, that Naruto had been mid-sentence when suddenly there was only silence. They'd talked the entire time almost, so he was grateful for the quiet. Naruto probably needed to catch up on some sleep anyway, so he let him be. It reminded him, too, of when they slept together last and, for a brief while, he'd been able to hold Naruto in his arms. He wondered if he let Sai do that? Actually, he was wondering a lot more things about them. He thought knowing the extent of their relationship would satiate his curiosity, but it really hadn't.

Three times. Three times they'd had sex is what Naruto meant, of that he had no doubt. What did that make Naruto? He'd mentioned being with women other than Ino, but was the only man he'd ever slept with Sai? If so, then why him of all people? Why three? It meant Naruto didn't hate it. That, or Sai was extremely good at it, which begged the question - did he screw up in passing him over when he had the chance?

Although, more and more, he really thought Sai had been marking his territory, whether he was aware of it or not. Even if he'd also been a little attracted to Sasuke, Sai had feelings for Naruto. But, he had given up the bed that night, which, if Sasuke was interested in someone, would never have happened. Looking back, though, even being in bed with the two of them, the flirting and exchanged looks all made more sense now. It was definitely what had triggered his curiosity to begin with and obviously his intuition had been pretty accurate. He was, however, trying to remain cool about it. Sasuke was admittedly attracted to him, and now that he knew Naruto maintained some interest in men, it did… excite him.

They would be spending several days together, and even thinking about going there made his head hurt. Both of them had been experiencing a lot of emotional ups and downs lately, so complicating what was beginning to feel like a real friendship didn't sit well with him. He was worried about Neji, too, and how those two would get along. Sasuke was 98% positive the older man would try to hit on Naruto. Either out of sport, or because, like Sasuke did on occasion, he found the blond intriguing.

He wasn't sure how Naruto would feel about Neji. He _was_ sure how Naruto would feel about Sakura. Sasuke liked her because she was smart and knew what she wanted out of life, but she also enjoyed having attention. He'd seen her eat nice guys like Naruto alive. Then again, maybe Naruto wouldn't be too opposed to that. Sasuke thought Ino was a better match for him, and he didn't know why they weren't together now, but maybe there was a reason for it.

It was a lot to process, and thinking about everything almost made it feel like he was driving on autopilot. Naruto remained asleep, not so much as snoring. He had his head on his shoulder as he leaned toward the window, eyes covered by his hair.

When they were only a few blocks away from his apartment, Naruto awoke with a start.

"You okay?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah." Naruto swept his hair out of his eyes. "Bad dream."

"Hm. We're almost there. Only a block away."

"Wow, I slept this whole time?"

"It's okay. Gave me some peace and quiet."

"Heh." Naruto scratched at his cheek. "Did my phone go off?"

"Not even once."

"Wow, so this is your town, huh? Looks nice."

"I like living downtown. There's a lot more going on here than back at home, so that's a bonus."

"Plus you probably won't run into anyone you know, huh?"

"No, I can't say I have," he answered as he pulled into the parking lot next to his complex.

Naruto gave one last yawn as they parked, and then they both got out of the car. Sasuke popped the trunk while Naruto organized the cooler and set it nearby on the ground.

"Are those… all your Christmas presents?" Naruto laughed. "That's so cute, Sasuke."

"Shut up, idiot. That's what happens when you're an only child."

"Now I know the reason you brought me," said Naruto. "It was to help carry all this shit inside."

"It was one of the reasons," he replied. "You're in good shape, aren't you?"

"Oh, you're just now noticing? I wondered why you were leerin' at me the other night."

"Maybe if you wouldn't walk around your house half naked all the time. I _am_ gay."

"Hmm." Naruto looked way too smug as he grabbed his duffel bag and handed Sasuke his. "We'll have to come back for these. I think I can get a few if you get the cooler."

"Don't forget I have to get groceries."

"Ah, well why don't you do that while I try to fix your radiator? I'll get my toolbox in a second and take a look."

Sasuke's apartment was in an older building that had once been a hotel in the early 1900s. There might've been only 10 apartments in the whole complex. He liked it because it had character, the tenants were fairly low-key, and it made for a 15-minute walk to campus.

He put in the code for the front door and held it open for Naruto.

"Thanks." Naruto went in and waited for him by the mailboxes.

Sasuke led the way. He was on the first floor, down the hallway and to the left, all the way at the end. There was a screen door in front of the apartment door. He held it open with his foot as he slipped the key in the lock. It got stuck sometimes, but he'd perfected the trick for getting it to work. He pushed that door open and went in first. Unfortunately, it was freezing inside.

"Damn, it really is cold," said Naruto as he dropped his bag on the floor and carried the presents to the table in the corner of the room. "I like this, though. It's… I'm surprised you wanted to live somewhere like this." He started looking around without waiting for Sasuke.

The bathroom was small, but there was an old clawfoot tub inside of it with newly-updated black and white floor tiles. The rest of the apartment maintained wood flooring, save the kitchen, which was covered in a neutral linoleum. He should've left the curtains closed while he was gone. It might've kept some of the heat in. They'd definitely need to keep their jackets on for now.

"Should I think about buying a space heater?" Sasuke asked when Naruto returned from snooping.

"You don't have faith in me?" Naruto smiled widely at him.

"I just think it's good to have a Plan B."

"True. We'd have to sleep in our clothes and cuddle all night if we don't wanna freeze to death."

That didn't sound entirely unappealing. "Sorry about this. I should've remembered."

"It's okay. You go get food and stuff. I'll plug in all your lamps and refrigerator, and I'll see if I can't get it workin'. If not, we can call your landlord. I'll talk to him."

"Okay. Anything you want from the store?"

"Heh."

"I don't have a fake ID, so don't expect me to get alcohol."

"I didn't say anything." Naruto frowned. "But how can you not have a fake ID? I have one."

"Please tell me it's not one of Sai's old IDs."

"No, from another friend's brother."

"Uh huh. Doesn't the church frown upon that kind of behavior?"

"I'm sure the church would frown upon all kinds of things I've gotten up to."

Sasuke knew what he was implying, but as it was the first time he'd openly joked about it, he didn't exactly have a witty response prepared. Instead, he cleared his throat.

"I suppose I can see if Neji is free, and he could buy us something," he suggested.

Naruto shrugged. "Don't go out of your way for me."

"I wonder if I should let you drink."

"I've got it under control," Naruto argued. "Did you see me do anything weird while we went out? I thought I was well-behaved."

"Except that night at the bar when you were getting mouthy."

"I'm always mouthy." He put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "Get what you want. Go call your friend with benefits if you wanna say hi. I'll be here, fixin' your plumbing in a whole other way."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're such a moron."

Naruto cackled at him. "I'm kiddin'."

"Why does it always feel like you're trying to set me up with other men?"

"Me? I dunno. Maybe matchmakin' is one of my special God-given talents."

Sasuke went to the closest light switch and flipped it on. "There. Now shall we go get what's left in the trunk?"

"Yep. I wanna get started before I freeze my balls off."

"I think I can agree with that," he remarked, pushing Naruto into the hall again as the screen door banged shut on their way out.

* * *

Sasuke, because it was New Year's Eve, felt like it wouldn't hurt to have some alcohol on hand, after all. Leaving Naruto to play with his _tools_ , he did decide to give Neji a call. He wasn't really expecting him to answer, so when he picked up on the third ring, Sasuke was somewhat surprised.

"I take it you're in town," said Neji. "Nice of you to keep in touch while you were off in the sticks. Tell me, do the hills have eyes there?"

"I'm hanging up - "

"I see your sense of humor is still intact. What is it I can do for you, Sasuke?"

"I've brought a friend from home - "

"Tell me more," Neji interrupted. "I'm interested in anyone you call a friend after only being home on break for a week."

"If you're not even going to let me finish, there's no need for us to discuss this."

Neji chuckled, low and sultry. "Fine. Do tell me about this _friend_ then. A boy?"

"That doesn't matter," he replied irritably. "I need to make a run to the grocery store. Will you come with me or not?"

"I see. You need me to buy alcohol. Don't you know I'm in the middle of setting up my place for a party? And, speaking of, will you be bringing this friend tonight?"

"I will. If that's okay."

"The more the merrier. Are you on your way now?"

"I am."

"Fine, but only if you tell me more about him. You know I don't like to be left out of the loop."

Sasuke sighed. "Don't make me regret telling you about this. I'll be there in 10 minutes."

"I'll be waiting. See you soon, Sasuke."

"Bye," he grunted and dropped his phone on the passenger seat.

In a way, it was better to let Neji know now rather than bringing Naruto to the party without an explanation. Obviously Neji and Sakura would incorrectly assume they were together. Even if he denied it, they would either think he was lying or… make a move on Naruto themselves.

So that Naruto wouldn't be left by himself for too long, Sasuke pulled out of the lot and headed toward Neji's. The other man lived only a mile from him, so it wasn't completely out of his way. It's not as if Sasuke didn't like Neji. Rather, they got along quite well. Neji was very intelligent if not a little long-winded. A philosophy major with the intent of attending law school following graduation. He was also, Sasuke had to admit, sexy as hell when he wanted to be, but Neji knew it, too. When they'd first met, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. It had been three months since the last time they hooked up. His sexual dry spell might be another reason why he kept feeling so attracted to Naruto. If his dry spell ended, maybe he wouldn't even think of Naruto like that.

When he arrived at Neji's apartment, he texted him that he was waiting in the visitor parking spaces. Sasuke was checking his phone when Neji rapped on the window before opening the door. He smiled at Sasuke, his long, dark hair falling over one shoulder of his pristine black coat.

"Miss me?" Neji asked, smiling at first and then frowning. "You look pale."

"I caught a cold," he replied, backing out of the space. "Where's Sakura?"

"Who knows? Getting her hair and nails done? She did want us to go to dinner if you're available."

"I…" He glanced at Neji. "I already made plans."

Neji hummed. "So it is like that? Are you taking him on a date?"

"It's _not_ like that," he replied. "He's someone I met while I was at home. He's a… friend."

"You did say that, but you don't have friends, Sasuke, so forgive me if I'm curious. What does this friend do exactly?"

Sasuke, while not eager to lie, felt reluctant to say exactly what Naruto did. As soon as he mentioned Naruto worked at a church and was the son of a pastor, he wouldn't hear the end of it.

"Right now, he's fixing my heater."

"I admit I'm very intrigued," Neji remarked. "This handyman, is he straight?"

"Neji."

"It's a fairly straight-forward question."

"Well, then you can ask him tonight," he muttered. "He's new in town. I took pity on him and invited him to come to the party. Is that okay with you?"

"It's perfectly fine with me. I like meeting new people. Much more than you do, so maybe I can keep him entertained?"

"I don't doubt you'll try."

"How long is he staying? I take it since you brought him all the way here that you're going back home at some point?"

"My parents weren't thrilled with me leaving early, so I agreed to return as a compromise, but yes, Naruto has work. I'll need to bring him home eventually."

"Naruto is his name? At least let me know what he looks like." Neji smirked. "My type? Or yours?"

"I'm not sure he's either of our types. He's… " How should he phrase it without giving anything away? "He has manners."

Neji scoffed. "I have manners, and I'm very well behaved. Does he know about us?"

"Why would that matter to him exactly?" Sasuke asked.

"In case you two are _more_ than friends, I figured he'd be interested in our relationship. If it comes up in conversation, I didn't want it to be a surprise for him."

"Yes, you're always very considerate," he said dryly.

"Oh, Sasuke. How I missed your witty retorts. I can't say it's the _only_ thing I've missed."

Sasuke glanced over at him without saying anything.

"Did you even jerk off while you've been away?" Neji asked.

He shook his head. "Is that all you can ever think about?"

"I imagine I think about it as much as you do. I know you well enough that your friend is bound to be good looking and interesting, seeing as he's obviously caught your attention."

They were pulling into the grocery parking lot now.

"You're reading too much into it," he said.

"As I'm doing you a favor by buying you and your guest alcohol. I do have one request."

Sasuke pulled into an open spot not too far from the entrance and put the car in park.

"What's that?" He asked.

"I get to meet him. Before the party. He's at your apartment, isn't he? I'll be very civil. Scout's honor." Neji held up his hand while smiling at him.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "If you promise not to embarrass me."

"Me?" Neji leaned in close to him and took a strand of Sasuke's hair between his fingers. "How about if I do anything to make you angry, I'll let you punish me when you come back to campus, hm?"

He wet his lips. "You're sick."

Unsnapping his seatbelt, Neji laughed. "Tonight is going to be more fun than I expected."

Sasuke took his keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. Neji got out, too. As they walked toward the store, Neji took his arm. It wasn't as busy as usual with everyone out for break.

"I did miss you," Neji confessed while they were walking through the sliding doors. "There's no one else I like to be snarky with more than you."

"I'm afraid I won't be able to pay you nearly as much attention as usual tonight."

"No. I wouldn't want you to neglect this mysterious new boytoy. I don't suppose he's the type to be interested in a threeway with the two of us?"

Sasuke pushed him off. "I don't think he would be into that, no."

"Only because he hasn't tried it, I'm sure." Neji picked up a basket for him and one for Sasuke. "Is he… tall?"

Sasuke took one of the baskets. "He's about my height."

"Dark hair?"

"...Blond."

"Oh. ... _Natural_ blond?" Neji asked, leading the way to the liquor aisle at the other end of the store.

"I would assume so as his father has the same hair."

"You've met his parents already?"

"Only his father. His mother passed away before he started high school."

"How very sad." Neji appeared pensive. "So, you two do have some things in common."

Sasuke gave no reply as he picked up a bottle of vodka, which Neji snatched out of his hand and placed in his basket. They picked out two more bottles, Sasuke vaguely remembering the various things Naruto had to drink while they were together.

"Is this enough?" Neji asked when he'd added a bottle of wine to the mix. "This one's your favorite, isn't it?"

"It is, thanks. I need to get some groceries, too. There's nothing at the apartment right now."

"I'll check out and put these in your car. May I have the keys?"

Sasuke fished them out of his pocket, their fingers overlapping as he passed them into Neji's hand. He felt a slight jolt at the contact, but did his best not to show it. Neji's smirk afterward showed that he failed. Still, he refused to give him any satisfaction.

"I'll be right back," Neji said to him. "Don't miss me too much."

* * *

On the return drive to the apartment, in order to give Naruto a heads up, he used his Bluetooth connection to call his cell. It rang about four times before Naruto picked up.

"Good news," said Naruto. "We won't freeze to death. Feel free to thank me with a really expensive dinner."

"Shut up, idiot, I have you on speaker, and Neji's with me."

"Ah, okay. Glad I opened with that instead of somethin' really inappropriate."

Sasuke shook his head as Neji gave a low chuckle.

"Hi, Naruto," said Neji.

"You must be Neji. Aren't you busy? I thought you were the host of tonight's party?"

"I am," Neji replied. "But Sasuke asked if I could be his sugar daddy and buy the two of you some alcohol."

"You didn't have to do that! Sasuke, what the hell? He's busy!"

"Why are you yelling at me?" Sasuke asked. "You're the one who acted like you wanted something. We can bring some of it with us tonight. Otherwise I'd be afraid you'd drink it all."

"Jesus," Naruto groaned. "Neji, does he talk this way to you?"

"Yes, but I like that about him." Neji was smirking as he eyed Sasuke.

"Heh. Me, too."

"Oh?" Neji asked. "Well, I hope you don't mind me dropping in. I promise not to stay long as I hear Sasuke's taking you out tonight. You're more than welcome to go out with myself and Sakura if you'd prefer."

"No," Sasuke said, "We're not doing that."

"I don't really care," Naruto replied. "Whatever you guys wanna do."

"Don't be so selfish, Sasuke," Neji teased.

"I'm hanging up," Sasuke told Naruto. "We'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay. See you soon."

Sasuke hit the button on the steering wheel to end the call and glared at Neji.

"You're not his type," Sasuke told him, even though recent revelations might mean that wasn't entirely accurate.

"Are you saying that because he's straight, or because you've lay claim to him already?"

"I haven't laid any claim, I assure you," he replied. "I'm only saying. He's not the type of person we'd usually hang out with."

Neji tilted his head in curiosity, coiling his hair around his index finger. "What does that mean exactly?"

"I mean he's… nice," Sasuke answered awkwardly. "And… normal. Mostly."

"Are you saying I'm not nice?" Neji asked, feigning offense. "Are you saying Sakura's not nice?"

"Neji, just don't fuck with him too much is all I'm asking. Please."

"Well, when you ask so nicely." Neji touched his arm. "It kind of turns me on. Why would I go after him, when I could have you? It _has_ been a while, you realize."

"I'm sure you managed," he replied. "I do know your reputation."

"Yours isn't a whole lot better than mine."

Sasuke snorted. "I think there's a vast difference between you and I in that area."

"It would be hard to tell as much from how slutty you are in bed."

Sasuke sent him another glare, though his cheeks flushed. "Do you mind?"

"Never." He smiled ruefully at Sasuke. "I hope to tease you like this in front of him, too."

"Why am I friends with such sadists?" He asked himself, parking in his assigned space.

Sasuke got out first, and Neji helped him carry the groceries inside. Nearing the apartment, he began to feel anxious about what would happen when he introduced them. He was more worried about Neji than Naruto. At least Naruto understood basic social etiquette, whereas Neji often thumbed his nose at such rules of social engagement. Sasuke held open the screen door, and, almost immediately, Naruto was there to open the other door and let them in. It was already warm inside. The blond, perspiration on his forehead, wore only jeans and a t-shirt, a few dark grease stains on it as well as his hands.

"Sorry, I was about to go wash up," he said. "Do you need help with any more bags?"

"No, this is everything," Sasuke replied. "Naruto, this is Neji. Neji… this is Naruto."

"Hi," Naruto said, smiling brightly at the long-haired man. "I can take that for you." He grabbed one of the heavier bags from Neji.

"Naruto," said Neji, also smiling. "Thank you. You're very polite."

"I have my moments," said Naruto and then he looked to Sasuke. "You bought a lot."

"It's not all for you." Sasuke pushed him toward the kitchen. "Let's set these in the other room. I'm impressed you were able to fix it without having to call the landlord."

"Eh, I just Googled some stuff, and luckily it worked after I tried a few different things. The pin was stuck in the TRV head, so I had to pull it out with some pliers."

"I don't know what you just said," Neji told him, "But it's nice to know you're good with your hands. Sasuke's far from handy."

"Fixin' stuff is sort of a hobby of mine," Naruto said without any real outward response to his obvious flirting. "I find it relaxing."

"Do you have much to be anxious about?" Neji asked once they finished setting things on the kitchen counter.

"I'd say not compared to what's goin' on in the rest of the world," Naruto replied.

While Sasuke began to put away some of the food items they'd bought, Naruto and Neji disappeared toward the living room, though he could hear their conversation clearly.

"Are you going to school anywhere?" Neji was asking. "Sasuke mentioned the two of you met in his hometown. I'm guessing you're not originally from there as you seem to be about our age, and you would've gone to Sasuke's high school."

"Nah. I moved into town a few months ago from San Diego. I went to college there for almost two years, but I relocated when my dad switched jobs."

"I see, and what does your father do?"

Sasuke realized he was holding his breath as he leaned against the refrigerator door. Part of him was worried Neji might start mocking Naruto if he answered. Should he interrupt?

"He's a pastor," Naruto answered.

There was a minute or so of silence.

"You're serious?" Neji asked.

"I know, right? S'hard to believe I've turned out so well-adjusted, huh?"

Neji laughed, and it was a genuine laugh, too. Sasuke let out the breath he'd been holding.

"I do recall Sasuke saying he used to… attend church when he was younger," Neji replied to him.

"He told me that, too."

Sasuke, not liking the fact they were talking about him when he wasn't there, practically shoved everything into the cabinets and hurried toward the living area.

"Sasuke," Neji said, glancing up at him from his seat on the couch. Naruto was sitting in one of dining table chairs. "You didn't tell me your friend was the son of a pastor. That's rather interesting, don't you think?"

"Not if you've grown up going to church," he replied. "Naruto, you don't have to answer anything you don't feel like."

"It's not exactly a secret," Naruto said. "I don't mind."

"He thinks I'm going to give you a hard time." Neji gathered his hair and let it fall over one shoulder.

"Is it weird if I compliment a guy on his hair?" Naruto asked. "Doesn't it get in your way?"

Neji chuckled. "You'd be surprised how many men, even straight men, ask to touch it."

"I believe it," said Naruto.

"I'm flattered that you like it. Then again, I _am_ easily charmed."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "If you two are done flirting, shouldn't I be getting you back to your apartment so that you can finish your party preparations?"

"Don't be that way," Naruto chided him, getting to his feet at the same time as Neji. "We're just gettin' to know one another."

"Yes, Sasuke. I already have lots of questions I want to ask Naruto, but I guess it will have to wait until this evening. I'll let you two have your dinner date. I'll mention to Sakura you might be bringing a friend with, but I'll make sure she isn't so… "

"Yes, please do," said Sasuke.

"What, what does she do?" Naruto asked.

"She and I are both interested in going to law school after college, so talking to her can sometimes feel as though you're being cross-examined. Just as a warning." Neji placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto, it was nice meeting you. I look forward to seeing you later."

"Sure." Naruto waved them off.

"I'll be right back," Sasuke told him. "Then we'll figure out what to do for dinner."

"Okay. No rush."

As they walked out of the apartment, Neji settled his hand on Sasuke's lower back and shut the door gently behind them. He didn't have to look at the older man to know what kind of expression he wore.

"Don't be so smug," he said to Neji under his breath.

"I am definitely not smug." Neji removed his hand from his back. "He's _exceptionally_ attractive. And charming. I absolutely nearly lost it when he said his father was a pastor. I hear those types can be wild. Of course, I know how you are, so I have to imagine Naruto is… even wilder?"

"I wouldn't know," said Sasuke. "He hasn't shown me that side yet, but he does party. Or, so I've been told. We only went out a couple of times when his friends were in town."

"So you really haven't…?"

They walked down the steps of the complex's entrance. Sasuke slipped on his leather gloves.

"Like I said, we're just friends."

"Can I ask you a serious question?" He stopped Sasuke once they were on the sidewalk. "You're sure he's _expressly_ into women?"

"I don't remember ever claiming to know his sexuality."

"...Of course." Neji searched his face for answers, apparently not satisfied with the one he gave. "I'm not a betting man, but I do get certain vibes from him, and my intuition on these matters is rarely incorrect."

"Like I said, even if he could possibly be interested in you _or_ men that way, he's not your type."

"Because he's 'nice'?"

"Because he's not mean," Sasuke replied, getting annoyed. "He's… he cares about people. To a fault. It's irritating and exhausting. I'd rather you not treat him like you do other men."

"Excuse me?" Neji asked. "How is it I treat men? Do I treat you poorly?"

"No, but I know you, and you know exactly what I mean."

Neji smirked and, standing behind his car, reached over to cup his cheek. "I'll behave as much as I possibly can. You're right, he does seem wholesome. I'll try to keep Sakura at bay, too. You know she's going to be all over him tonight. I hope you're prepared for that."

"Naruto's an adult, he can do whatever he wants."

Neji leaned in even closer, so close Sasuke thought he might kiss him.

"I believe you," said Neji, "When you say nothing happened. I've never seen you be protective of someone. I assumed it was possessiveness at first, but now I see you care about him."

"He's been good to me, Neji. More than most people are."

"I'm sure. He didn't even bat an eye when I insinuated I like men."

"He knows about me," Sasuke admitted. "He knows about us, too."

"It's not usual for you to gab like a schoolgirl. Does he take confessions? Did you tell him all of your," Neji wet his lips, "Sins?"

"Neji." Sasuke's lids lowered slightly. He was suddenly struck with the memory of Sai coming up to him in the bathroom that night at the restaurant and abruptly put a hand to Neji's chest, pushing him away.

"What are you playing at?" Neji asked in a mocking tone. "Bringing him here. Taking him to dinner. Accompanying him to _my_ party? I hope you're not looking to get your heart broken."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "You don't know what I'm looking for."

Neji, lips quirking downward, studied him a short while. "Unfortunately, I _do_ know. _Exactly_ what you're looking for. What you crave. I only hope this infatuation you seem to have with the pastor's son doesn't leave you as broken as any of your _past_ relationships."

Stunned at first, Sasuke could only watch him as he got into the car. He was used to the harsh way Neji spoke sometimes, so rather than get mad, he felt something akin to despair. He reached under his scarf for the silver chain. It's not as if he was using Naruto as Gaara's replacement. Sasuke didn't even have those kinds of feelings for Naruto, and Naruto, even if he did want to date, would have his choice of Sai or Ino. Sasuke didn't fit anywhere in there.

After all, he had only caused him trouble this past week. Neji didn't know what he was talking about. He only knew one side of Sasuke. Yes, he knew some of his secrets and past, but that didn't mean Neji knew _him_. If anything, it was Naruto he'd opened up to the most, and now he was just waiting for Naruto to trust him enough to do the same.

* * *

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sasuke drove them to the French-Mediterranean restaurant downtown. Luckily, they'd had a couple of last-minute cancellations, so they were able to reserve a table for two. He had to admit, Naruto cleaned up nicely - even if Sasuke _had_ already seen him in church attire. Damn it if he didn't have to wear that cologne, too. But, Naruto looked handsome in a flannel shirt with an open sweater, scarf, and a neutral beanie (instead of that God awful orange one). Sasuke had on a high-collar charcoal gray sweater and a dark pair of jeans. It had been interesting to say the least, the two of them using his single, tiny bathroom to get ready at the same time. It almost made him miss being able to have Naruto's whole house to themselves.

"Is this gonna be really fancy?" Naruto asked while flipping the visor up and down several times. "Am I underdressed?"

"No, you look fine." Better than fine, really. "Did you dress up for Sakura? Or, Neji perhaps?"

"Are you still goin' on about that?" Naruto flipped the visor up for the twelfth time. "I'm not gonna steal your boyfriend."

"You were apparently afraid I was going to steal yours." He smirked, and, for that, Naruto smacked him on the arm.

"Sai's not my boyfriend. If he was, I would've punched you for makin' out with him in the bathroom. I mean, who does that? Do you know how many germs are in there?"

"Oh, are you a germaphobe now? Besides, _he_ accosted me. I was too surprised to react any other way."

"Accosted my ass," Naruto muttered, knocking on the window. "He told me all about it, you know."

"I bet he did. Since you two tell each other everything." Though, it did leave him curious as to what Sai told him, if he really said anything at all. Why would Naruto want to know anyway? He decided to tease him a little. "I will say this for him. He's a decent kisser."

Naruto shot him a look close to a glare.

"You don't think so?" When Naruto didn't seem likely to give an answer, he added, "For the record, I am gay, so you can talk about these kinds of things with me."

"I don't know if you've noticed this, but I'm kind of a private person."

"Naruto, you've seen me half-dead and naked in a bathtub. When do we cross the threshold into joking about men? I didn't ask about his penis, I simply asked if you thought he was a good kisser."

Naruto fidgeted in his seat, apparently taking Sasuke's words to heart, even if he hadn't expected an answer to begin with. But he did want Naruto to know they could talk about it. In case he felt uncomfortable with him knowing they'd slept together a few times.

"Yeah," Naruto said eventually, though he was staring out the window, "I think he's a good kisser."

"Technically, you and I've already kissed."

"We have?"

"That first night," Sasuke said, annoyed he didn't immediately remember.

"Oh, right. No. You were upset and would've kissed anybody, and for it to count, I would've had to have kissed back."

Sasuke was quiet a second; that was put too bluntly for his ego. Naruto must've realized.

"You weren't even serious, so don't act put out about it," he said. "If you weren't in such bad shape that time, I definitely would've kicked your ass for what you pulled before that, but I knew you didn't mean it. Or, at least I got why you were pickin' a fight."

"Yes, I remember," Sasuke replied quietly. "You felt sorry for me."

"I felt bad for you, I wouldn't say I felt sorry for you. Honestly, I've heard a lot of bad stories. Yours is…," Naruto sighed, "One of the worst, and… in a way, forced me to remember crap from my own shitty childhood."

When Naruto's voice turned bitter, Sasuke regarded him with a quick glance.

"Story to come later," Naruto mumbled. "When both of us are drunk enough not to remember."

"That sounds like it could very well be tonight. I already made you a vodka tonic before we left."

"You had a glass of wine," Naruto returned. "Ah, is that it? It's got a French name." He pointed at the building on the left.

"That's it." Sasuke entered the turn lane and drove into the, unsurprisingly, full parking lot.

Eventually finding a spot, they went inside the restaurant, which, by the entrance door, was a whole wall of locks chained to a welded metal piece hanging from the ceiling.

"What's that?" Naruto asked.

"Love locks. Couples put them there," he answered before giving the pretty young hostess his name. She looked at him first, smiled, and, not getting a reaction, smiled at Naruto, instead.

Being the flirt he was, Naruto returned her smile. "Hi. How are you tonight?"

"I'm very well, sir. Would you like to follow me, and I'll show you to your table?"

"Of course," said Naruto. "After you."

Sasuke glared, but Naruto didn't notice. He dutifully followed the hostess (probably checking out her ass), and Sasuke followed him (while checking out _his_ ass). He figured it was only fair since Naruto felt the need to pay her so much attention, even making small talk all the way to their table. It was 7 in the evening, and the lights had been dimmed for dinner. It was a quaint place, more modern French country than anything posh. The room she took them to had a large stone fireplace, wood already burning behind the glass screen. There were candles on every table, and she brought them to the one closest to the fireplace.

They sat opposite one another, and the young woman placed menus in front of them, informed them of tonight's specials (bacon wrapped scallops or duck confit fettuccine), and let them know their waiter would be with them shortly. By the time she left, Naruto was grinning ear to ear.

"What, not going to get her number?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I was only bein' friendly, since you refused to greet her."

"Right."

It wasn't another minute before a very handsome fair-haired man came to their table to introduce himself as their waiter, Victor. He was tall, broad-chested, and obviously gay. He felt Naruto kick him under the table, but ignored it so he could let Victor know he'd be fine having a water with lemon. Naruto asked for iced tea, and Sasuke was surprised he didn't try to order something alcoholic given that he was so proud of his fake ID.

"Talk about _me_ flirtin' with the help," Naruto said after the waiter left. "Maybe he'll get off in time to go to the party?"

"Please, there's a difference between fawning all over someone and simply admiring them for the short-term."

"I think you just described our relationship." Naruto picked up his napkin and spread it across his lap; Sasuke did the same.

"Is our relationship going to be short-term?"

"That's not what I meant. I mean because it's not like we can hang out like we have been once your classes start."

"I see. You plan on dumping me once I leave, is that it?"

The waiter came by again to bring them their drinks, but as neither of them had so much as looked at the menu, they asked for a few more minutes.

"What's good?" Naruto asked. "What do you usually get when you come here?"

"Hm. I've had the flatbreads, duck confit, pork chop, and filet. French onion soup is good, but I think I'm going to try the scallops. The brussel sprouts are good, too, but I don't see you as being a vegetable sort of person."

"What? I love vegetables," Naruto replied, turning up his nose. "Some of 'em anyway. If you want to get them to share, I don't mind. Have you tried escargot before?"

"A couple of times," he said. "It's not my thing, but if you want to try it, you should."

"Heh. I think it's kinda cute the way you recommend stuff to me."

"You asked, didn't you?" He raised an eyebrow at him, feeling his heart do a strange thing when he saw Naruto smile like that. "Don't make that face, idiot." Sasuke hid his behind the menu. "Victor will get the wrong idea, and I won't be able to ask him out in a few weeks."

"At least you're courteously waitin' until I'm out of sight and out of mind. Ah, or is it 'cause you plan to make a move on Neji tonight?"

"Who says I didn't already make a move on him while we were shopping together?"

"I guess that's possible." Naruto's smile faltered. "Should I make myself scarce tonight? I'm gonna have to write your address down in case you stay the night at his place."

"Naruto."

"Yeah?" Naruto glanced up from the menu.

He was almost flattered that Naruto was at least a _little_ disgruntled by the idea of being without him for a night.

"I'm not going to leave you alone to hook up with Neji," he said, trying to keep his voice neutral. "If that's all I wanted to do, I wouldn't have asked you to come back with me."

"Oh. But - "

"Naruto," he said exasperatedly because arguing with self-righteous people could be exhausting. "I know how to show you the same hospitality you showed in letting me hang out with your friends. Besides, Neji's already had me, so you'll present a challenge for him."

"You sound like my pimp when you put it that way. What makes you think I'd be interested in Neji?" Naruto asked. "Because I've been with Sai? Because I was _nice_ to him earlier?"

Sasuke sighed. "I don't know your preferences because you haven't told me, but what I'm saying is if you _were_ interested, I'm not romantically invested in Neji, so if you're worried about my feelings, don't. You have no faith in me, I think."

"That's not true," Naruto mumbled just as Victor reappeared to take their orders.

Sasuke ordered the scallops and brussel sprouts, and Naruto chose the steak frites, requesting his filet be cooked medium rare. Victor also dropped off a basket of bread, which Naruto immediately hoarded. He buttered a piece for Sasuke before buttering his own.

"I'm kind of hungry," said Naruto. "Since I only had that sandwich when we were drivin' here."

"Now that we have groceries, I can make you things. I'm not terrible at cooking."

"Makes sense. Your mom seems to be a great cook. Did you learn everything you know from her?"

He took a bite of the soft bread. "...I hadn't thought about it, but yes."

Naruto nodded. "My mom was a lousy cook. She had a lot of talents, but cooking wasn't one of them, so I ate a lot of processed crap until I kind of befriended one of the hotel chefs. He taught me a few things. Hangin' around soup kitchens doesn't hurt either."

"With your mother working at a hotel, were you able to see her very much?"

"Yeah, she'd take the first or third shifts so that I was either asleep or at school. She dated a guy for a while, so he'd be around to watch me, too."

"Your mother dated someone else after your parents got divorced?"

"Well, yeah, but he was older than her and had a weird sense of humor." Naruto passed his hand through his hair, thinking. "They dated for a year. I don't remember why they broke up, though. I doubt he was too thrilled to be datin' someone who already had a kid."

"You don't know that," said Sasuke. "It could be for a number of reasons."

Naruto shrugged. "My parents divorced 'cause of me, so it's not like it would've been the first time."

Sasuke dropped his bread on the tablecloth.

"What?" Naruto stared. "I told you they got divorced."

"You did… but you didn't tell me why. Why do you think it was your fault?"

"Because it was," Naruto said simply.

"Your mother was very beautiful," he remarked, changing the subject for Naruto's benefit. "I'm sure she was a wonderful woman."

Naruto's smile returned. "She was, Sasuke. Thanks for sayin' so. You're a good guy."

"Although, I'd still like to see you with her red hair." He smirked. "Gaara had reddish hair, but it wasn't bright like your mother's. It was more auburn. Sometimes I'd make fun of him when he got it cut too short. After the last time, I think I cut it for him from then on."

"I haven't seen a picture yet. You have some, don't you? I'd really like to see what he looked like if that's okay."

"I don't. Maybe a yearbook… I don't think I saved any personal photos."

"Not even on your phone?"

"My parents would've checked."

"Geez, what kind of photos were the two of you takin'?" Naruto smirked as he stuffed the rest of his bread into his mouth.

Sasuke smiled. "I'm sure the same kind of photos you would have taken at that age."

"Dunno how Ino would feel about that," Naruto replied.

"Or Sai?"

Naruto cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. "There's a good chance Sai has somethin' like that on his phone."

"Oh?" Sasuke felt the slightest twinge of jealousy. "I suppose I could say the same of Neji."

"Hmm. I'll have to ask him about it tonight then." Naruto picked up his tea.

"What's the point? You've already seen naked drawings of me and me naked in a bath. If you wanted to see it all again, why not just ask?"

Naruto laughed, one of those low, gruff laughs that Sasuke liked.

"I suppose it doesn't sound right, does it?" Naruto asked. "Am I a pervert and just don't know it?"

"I don't know. Do you enjoy watching two men together?"

"I…" Naruto was looking at him, amusement coloring his unusually bright blue eyes. He appeared to be on the verge of replying, but then his mouth formed a thin line.

"No jokes to make? I'm surprised you took that question so seriously."

"You said you wanted me to talk more about this stuff, so I'm tryin', but I've never done that with anyone besides Sai 'cause we were already that close. I certainly wouldn't bring it up with anyone who goes to church… by the way, what I told you. Not even Ino knows. I mean, I never told her about Sai, but I have to wonder if she's ever suspected - "

"Probably," he said, "But I did get the impression she doesn't know anything specific."

"How would you know?"

"We talked about it."

"Huh? You two talked about me and Sai? When?" Naruto's eyes narrowed, but he didn't look angry exactly.

"When she came to pick me up that time. I was curious about the two of you."

"I don't know how I feel about that."

"She didn't tell me anything," he said. "You've already answered the questions I had."

"And Neji…?" Naruto asked. "He seems nice. Why don't you date him?"

"I already told you. We'd end up fighting the entire time."

"Fightin' is like foreplay for some people," Naruto replied with a sly grin.

"You and Sai playfight all the time," he said, remembering how the two of them would act at the house. "So, yes, it does ring true."

"Can I tell you somethin'?" Naruto leaned in closer, giving the impression he was about to reveal a secret. Sasuke, unconsciously, leaned in, as well.

"Go ahead."

"I haven't dated anyone seriously since high school. I don't think I'd be very good at it. It's not that I like casual relationships, but I tend to have more of those. I think I'm better at relationships when there's distance. When people start expectin' more from me… it gets confusing. Does that make any sense?"

"...Yes. Very much so." He did pick up on Naruto mentioning women and not men _and_ women. "What about… relationships with men? Do you consider you and Sai as having had a relationship?"

"Not really," Naruto answered. "And if you're askin' what I think you are…," he lowered his voice. "Sai's the only guy I've been with. But, in terms of relationships, that may be the closest I've come to somethin' serious since Ino. Sai and I fight. He does get jealous. Yeah, we lived together, but I was goin' through a lot of stuff, so he was mostly keepin' an eye on me. But there are things he and I don't agree on, church and faith bein' a couple of those things. Not that I mind if he doesn't go or doesn't believe, but…"

"I shouldn't have asked," he said. "I know you care about him, and some relationships are harder to define than others."

"Yeah. I… yeah, and it's not even a case of, if he was a woman. I don't think I'd be as close to him if he was." Naruto shook his head. "Sorry, I'm not sure this is the time or place to talk about this? It's your fault for makin' me a vodka tonic before we came."

It was loud enough that even the table next to them wasn't likely to overhear their conversation. He was less paranoid here than he was in his hometown, but it was still a talk he'd prefer to have in private, too, and knowing Sai was the only man he'd been with answered a big question. It also left him with the impression that Naruto might be confused about… what he wanted.

"We can always talk later," Sasuke offered, a small smile curving his lips. "I know how you don't like when I bombard you with personal questions."

"It's okay. Cheers." He held up his glass; Sasuke picked up his, and they toasted. "Happy New Year, Sasuke. Thanks for lettin' me tag along to the party. Even if it does seem you're tryin' to pimp me out to your friends."

Sasuke smirked. "Happy New Year, Naruto. Just try not to get into too much trouble."

* * *

Following dinner, Naruto insisted on dessert, and then threw a rather adorable tantrum when Sasuke insisted on paying. As Victor was on his side, he was able to pay, and, afterward, they began walking around downtown. The streets were still decorated for the holidays, with lights framing storefronts and wrapped around lamp posts. From somewhere, there was the smell of roasting nuts in the air. Most of the shops were closed, but Naruto didn't seem to mind as he stopped to stare inside on occasion, nearly pressing his face to the glass.

"This town reminds me of one of the towns we used to live in when I was a kid."

"You did mention you lived in several different states. Did you have a favorite?"

"A favorite?" Naruto repeated. "I'm not sure anymore."

"Does your deep dark secret involve getting amnesia?" He asked.

Sasuke almost regretted saying that, but then Naruto let out a laugh.

"Eh, sometimes I wish that were the case," Naruto answered quietly. He straightened up, standing directly in front of Sasuke, shoulders hunched and hands in his pockets.

"Are you cold?" He asked Naruto. "Should we go back to the car?"

"I'm fine. Say, is there a church around here anywhere?"

"A Catholic one is only a couple of blocks away. Why? Feeling guilty about missing tonight's service?"

"A little. Do you think we could walk by there?"

"Of course." Sasuke began unraveling his scarf and slipped it around Naruto's neck. "I should've made you wear your coat."

"I can't take this," Naruto argued, trying to stop his hands from tying the knot. "You're the one who's been sick."

"Just accept it." He finished knotting it and nudged him in the shoulder. "Now let's go."

They walked side by side, Naruto whistling a theme from a cartoon Sasuke remembered from growing up. He was always singing or whistling, and it made him remember the sound of his playing the piano. That led to him thinking about their last night at Naruto's house. Had anyone ever been that mad on his behalf? Gaara maybe, but he couldn't really recall a time when he'd seen his boyfriend lose his temper. Strictly speaking, he was fairly mild-mannered. Sasuke was always the one with the short temper, which is why they made such a good match.

It had him curious about Naruto and Sai and whether, despite what Naruto said earlier about relationships, they were compatible romantically. From what he'd observed, he thought so. Would Naruto ever flirt with another man besides Sai? He thought Naruto and Neji were flirting earlier. Then again, Naruto was also the type to flirt with anyone. Hell, he'd seen him do it with little old ladies and small children. He was naturally enigmatic and likable.

"Man, you are thinkin' _really_ loud," Naruto said suddenly. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Who says that?" He asked, eyes straying to the star-filled sky.

"I just did. You went quiet on me. Are you worried I'll embarrass you tonight?"

"I'm not worried," he replied. "I already know you're likely to embarrass me in some way."

"Heh." Naruto knocked into him. "Guess you'll have to keep me close to your side then, huh?"

Sasuke regarded him out of the corner of his eye. "Maybe."

"Will there be a lot of people?"

"Probably. Neji knows a lot of people. Although, a lot of them have to be home on break still, so who knows? Maybe it'll just be the four of us."

"Oh, good. A New Year's orgy then. I can check that one off my bucket list." Naruto chuckled at his own joke, but Sasuke wanted to smack him on the back of the head, so he did. "Hey, what was that for?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Habit."

"You've never smacked me before… er… have you?"

"If I haven't, then I should've."

"Are we entering into an abusive relationship?"

"If we are, maybe you can consult yourself on what to do next," he said dryly.

Naruto slung an arm around his shoulders. "Why are you so moody all of a sudden?"

"I'm not, really." He didn't even bother to shrug him off. "I feel… calm."

Naruto made a humming noise like he didn't believe him. "Is that like the calm before the storm?"

Sasuke, even if he'd had an answer for that, stopped at the corner to point at the church. "There you go. St. Germaine's."

"Catholic churches really are pretty," Naruto mumbled, removing his arm from around him.

Together, they crossed the street. There must've been a service going on because he could hear the sound of a choir coming from within. They went up the stone steps, and Sasuke opened the door, making sure to do so quietly. Inside, they were greeted by the sound of children's voices as they sang an angelic version of Ave Maria. Naruto entered the main room, a step ahead of him, and sat in one of the back pews. It smelled strongly of incense, and there were lit candles everywhere. A lot of people were there, but the last few rows were pretty much empty. He guessed their church at home would've been filled. He imagined Naruto with the kids, playing piano as they spun around in circles and sang. It almost made him feel guilty for depriving parishioners of what would've been an amusing scene.

Throughout the choir's performance, Naruto remained quiet while always staring straight ahead as if deep in thought. The priest, an older man in his 50s, stood off to the side, and there were six altar boys of varying ages lined up near the front by height. He almost wanted to crack a crude joke about it, but Naruto looked so serious, he kept it to himself.

They sat and listened for nearly 15 minutes before Naruto abruptly stood and tugged at his sleeve. Sasuke got up, too, and followed him outside. Naruto stopped at the top of the steps.

"Something wrong?" Sasuke asked.

He looked pale, and perspiration marked the blond's forehead and cheeks. His gaze was a little vacant, as well, so Sasuke hoped he hadn't given him his cold.

"Kids' choirs always get to me," Naruto replied. "That's all."

"You're so sentimental." Sasuke pressed his hand to Naruto's back. "Shall we get going to the party, or are you not feeling well?"

"No, I'm fine. I think I'm ready to let go and have a good time for once."

"Famous last words," he said. "Sai will kill me if I let anything happen to you."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, he will."

"That means don't go posting any pics all over social media."

"I know better than that. I'm sure my dad's stalkin' my accounts as we speak."

"He's probably busy with church," Sasuke remarked. "You're safe here."

"Good to know."

Next to the church was a playground, and as they passed it by, Naruto stopped to look at it. He only gave Sasuke a brief, unreadable glance before leaving his side to go through the entrance. Sasuke ended up following him again. At this time of night, it was surely meant to be closed to the public, but Naruto, of all things, took a seat on the see-saw.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Just get on."

"No. Absolutely not."

"C'mon. You were a kid once. At least, I think you were."

Sasuke glanced around, not that he really expected anyone to be watching them. Reluctantly, he got on the other end of the see-saw, and when Naruto pushed up, Sasuke went down.

"Why are we doing this?" He asked.

"Reliving our youths, I guess."

"Did the choir have you longing for your lost innocence?" He, very obviously, meant it as a joke, but Naruto paused for a half a minute, holding Sasuke in the air.

"Something like that," Naruto said eventually, pushing off the ground again. "Do you ever get really angry at stupid things out of nowhere? Like, the smallest crap sets you off when it wouldn't bother anyone else?"

"Occasionally," he replied, watching him carefully. "Where's this coming from?"

"I don't know. Like I said, it comes out of nowhere."

"I see."

Naruto seemed to be far off as he continued moving them up and down.

"If there's something you want to talk about," said Sasuke. "You can talk to me."

"I know. The more I hang out with you, the more I realize that. So, thank you." Naruto smiled at him.

"You're always thanking me," he mumbled. "I should be the one thanking you."

"Hm?"

"Nothing. If you're done, we really should get going. We'll need to stop by the apartment to pick up the alcohol."

"Okay."

Naruto got off and rejoined him at his side. Oddly, Sasuke felt a compulsion to grab for his hand, but he was sure Naruto would pull away. Instead, he remained quiet, keeping his thoughts to himself as they began walking toward the car again. Naruto started whistling, too, as if nothing had happened. Sasuke didn't know why, but he kept experiencing a feeling of foreboding.

Lately he'd been thinking that he empathized with Sai since, more often than not, he wanted to treat Naruto like a fragile piece of glass that could break at any moment. But as he wasn't used to worrying about others or even comforting them, he tried not to give it too much thought. Naruto was an adult. He truly believed he could take care of himself, and acknowledging that Naruto was a good person meant believing he would make the right decisions. Sasuke knew he had secrets that he considered too dark to tell, but Sasuke had his demons, too.

The more time they spent together, the more he worried and formed questions in his brain. It made his heart race in a strange way. In a _scary_ way. But no matter what, he couldn't seem to leave Naruto alone. Even though a part of him understood very well about wanting to keep a healthy distance from other people, especially people he cared about. Because the closer you got to someone… the more they were capable of causing you pain once they were gone.

* * *

When they were back at his apartment, he gathered all the alcohol into a box. He should've let Neji take it when he was here, but at least it wouldn't look like they arrived empty handed. Well, he didn't care, but Naruto would appreciate that. Ever since they left the church, Naruto hadn't said much except a thanks when Sasuke made him another vodka tonic. Last Sasuke saw him, he was fixing his hair in the bathroom, but as of a few minutes ago, he'd thought he'd heard him on the phone with someone (probably Sai).

He went into the living room to set the box on the table. Naruto had apparently taken over his bedroom to have his conversation. Since it was the only other room with a mirror, he went into the bathroom to give himself a once over, applying some product and spraying on cologne. As he was finishing up and walking out, Naruto was also coming out of the bedroom. He had a strange look on his face, but the instant he spotted Sasuke, he broke into a smile.

Sasuke didn't buy it and raised an eyebrow. "Fight with the Mrs.?"

"Meh, the opposite," Naruto said. "They just called to wish me a Happy New Year."

"I guess I'm not enough, hm?" He took a few steps closer, tempted to pull him into a mocking hug, but he couldn't tell if Naruto was in the mood for teasing.

"It's a little sad." Naruto stuck his phone in his pocket. "We've spent every New Year's together for the last four years."

"Sorry to break the tradition. I've packed everything up," he said. "You look nice."

This time Naruto bestowed him with a much more genuine smile. "Yeah?"

Sasuke nodded. "Mm. But let me fix your collar. You didn't have to change. You looked just fine before." He went over to him and adjusted the collar of the button-up underneath his sweater.

"You're gonna make me blush."

"Tch. Ungrateful jerk. There." He gave it another pat, wondering if he should make him take it off to iron it, but that was his OCD talking, and it was already after 9.

"Hey," said Naruto.

Sasuke had just been about to take a step back when Naruto grabbed his sweater. "Yes?"

Naruto studied him, but Sasuke had no idea what was on his mind.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothin'." Naruto let him go. "You looked… different for a second."

"What does that mean?"

Naruto merely shrugged. "I'll get our coats."

"Okay…"

Sasuke followed him into the living room, watching as Naruto got their coats from the closet. He brought Sasuke his first before putting on his own. Well, at least Naruto's mood swings were still consistent. He might start to get worried otherwise.

"Did Sai have any special message for me?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto snickered. "Nothin' I'm gonna repeat, no. Ino and Karin say Happy New Year's, though. Ino says you should call her sometime. I'll give you her number."

"Ah, I'd like that…"

Funny, he wasn't sure if he'd ever thought that way about giving a woman his number. Even Sakura didn't call him that much, but she always told him he was terrible on the phone.

Naruto picked up the box on the table.

"I can get that, Naruto."

"Meh. You haven't been feelin' well lately, so let me do the heavy liftin'."

"It's so nice having a man around the house," Sasuke uttered sarcastically.

"Wow, is that your attempt at a Southern accent?" Naruto mocked him. "And we're not even that far from the South."

"I'm not sure it really qualifies as the South… but, yes. I apologize. I was thinking _Gone with the Wind_ , I suppose."

"God, sometimes you do some cute things," Naruto told him. "Now open the door for me, bastard."

"Why are you calling me a bastard then?" He asked, opening the door after turning off all but one light.

"It's a term of endearment," Naruto replied, stopping right in front of him to grin.

Sasuke felt an impulse to kiss him. God did he look handsome when he grinned like that, and whenever Naruto complimented him about anything, he wanted to take him in his arms.

He swallowed the feeling. "What's mine for you then?"

"You call me idiot a lot, so maybe it's that?"

"Oh, good. I have your blessing to call you that as much as I please now?"

Naruto stuck out his bottom lip. "Why are you bein' so mean to me?"

Oh, fuck.

"Get out," he said. "Get out of the apartment right now." Sasuke started pushing him out the door before he tried to do anything stupid.

"Hey, ow, why are you pushin' me?"

Naruto stumbled out into the hallway while Sasuke locked the apartment door.

"Because. You're too slow, idiot."

"Heh. I'm not gonna take offense as callin' me that means you _care_."

"Did you make yourself a drink while I was in the bathroom earlier?" Sasuke asked.

"Why, does my breath smell?" Naruto cocked his head.

He sighed. "I see I'll have to keep an eye on you tonight."

"C'mon. Don't be like Sai." Naruto kicked him in the back of the leg.

Sasuke turned around and swatted at him. "You're like a little kid, no wonder Sai feels the need to babysit you."

"I am _not_ a little kid."

"Right."

A couple was heading out of the building at the same. The man held open the door, and, of course, Naruto began a short conversation with the two until they reached the parking lot. Sasuke unlocked the car when they were a few feet away. Naruto stuck the box in the backseat before getting in on the passenger side.

"Are you always that friendly with strangers?" Sasuke asked, turning the key.

"Pretty much," Naruto answered, securing his seat belt. "You ought to know that by now. Ah, crap. I meant to ask for Victor's number."

"So you _are_ interested in dating other men."

"Ha ha, very funny. I was gonna get it for you since you kept oglin' him all night."

"I - " Sasuke didn't remember it like that. "I'm perfectly capable of going up to a man when I'm interested. Like I said, there's no point so long as you're around to cramp my style."

"Oh, there you go again. Bein' mean to me when I was only tryin' to help. I make a good wing man, y'know. I told you I'd be cool on my own if you wanted to… whatever."

Sasuke sighed but didn't say anything more. He hated having this conversation with Naruto even if he was the one egging him on. It kept frustrating him for some reason. Luckily, Naruto became distracted while searching for music on the radio.

"You get much better stations up here," Naruto mumbled.

"That should be obvious. It's a big city."

"Tell me more about Sakura?"

Sasuke was caught off guard by the question. "What do you want to know?"

"Mm'dunno. Anything. You've made me really curious about her."

"I'm no expert, but she _is_ attractive. Very sharp and observant like Neji. She's likely to call you on your shit, so you should be especially careful."

"Why me?" Naruto asked. "What did I do?"

"Because, you always try to charm everybody, but she'll see through that."

"Huh, what do you - "

"I've heard straight men say they find her intimidating."

"I think she sounds… cool," Naruto said quietly.

"I'm starting to feel jealous on Ino's behalf," he muttered.

"That's a weird thing to say." Naruto turned to him. "You know Ino and I aren't dating… right?"

"Yes, but I - " _Think she still has feelings for you, and I like her_. "You're right. Do as you please. You're a free man."

"Thanks. I spend most of my life feelin' guilty about shit, I'd rather not feel guilty about somethin' when I'm not doin' anything wrong." Naruto looked out the window, which, by now, Sasuke knew he did whenever he was trying to ignore him or didn't like something he'd said.

"If you're always feeling guilty about something," Sasuke remarked, "It's your own fault."

"Oh, that's hilarious comin' from you."

"Why is that hilarious?"

"Are you kidding me?" said Naruto. "Tch. Nevermind."

"You can't say something like that and then brush it off. Tell me what you mean."

"No, I won't. 'Cause I don't wanna fight with you." Naruto turned to him again, but Sasuke could only hold his gaze for a second or two.

"Then don't say things you can't explain."

"I can explain, but if I did, then we'd start fighting!"

"So what if we fight? I thought you said fighting for some people is like foreplay."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that _would_ be the one time you actually listen to what I say."

Sasuke smirked. "Fighting with you does leave me feeling intellectually superior, so maybe we _should_ do it more often."

"God, and you call _me_ bipolar." Naruto hit his head against the window.

"Hn."

"I'm beatin' up on you when we get home tonight for bein' annoying."

"I won't be home tonight," he said, still smirking. "I'll be out with Victor."

"Gyaah."

He heard Naruto thunk his head against the window a few more times.

"You're the worst," Naruto muttered.

"I wonder what that says about you that you keep coming back for more."

"I swear you sound just like Sai right now."

Sasuke lost some of his good humor from teasing him, not liking being compared to Sai.

"Are Sai and I really that similar?" He asked. "If so, should I be worried about sharing my bed with you?"

"Like I'd ever force myself on anyone," Naruto replied, breathing on the window and rubbing the fog away with his hand.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Why are you being so… strange tonight?"

"Me? How am I bein' strange?" Naruto turned off the music.

"Ever since we went to that church… you've been… I don't know."

"Sorry. I'll keep my mouth shut until we get there."

Sasuke sighed again. "Great."

So, they drove the rest of the way to Neji's in awkward silence. Usually this kind of baseless bickering would annoy the crap out of him, but ever since Naruto snapped at him two nights ago, fighting like this also made him feel… closer to Naruto.

Was that weird? Was that how it was supposed to be? He knew Naruto would warm up to him again, so he wasn't worried or anything. In fact, Naruto getting mad at him made him feel like he wasn't being treated with kid gloves anymore. Instead of trying to figure out what it all meant, Sasuke focused on trying to parallel park on the street since the guest spaces were completely full. There may be more people here than expected. Neji lived in a duplex, but his roommate had already left to study abroad for next semester and was rich enough not to have to sublease his room.

As soon as they parked, Naruto got out and opened the back door to retrieve the alcohol. They didn't speak as they headed up the sidewalk, though they were side by side at least. They could hear loud music coming from inside, and right as he was about to open the door, someone else was coming out, but no one he recognized.

"Hey, guys," the stranger said to them, sounding drunk. "It's packed in there."

"Thanks, buddy," Naruto replied. "Be careful gettin' home."

"Thanks, bro. You, too."

Naruto was leaning against the door to keep it open. "He knows we just got here, right?"

"I just hope he's not driving home."

"Yeah, no kidding."

"Let me take that. I'll bring it into the garage." He snatched the box from Naruto, who complained on instinct because he hated being useless.

Sasuke, however, was used to pushing his way through crowds and as he'd been here many times before, he knew where to go. It wasn't a huge apartment. It had the lower-level, which included a bigger living room (already packed with people), a master suite, and the kitchen. There was a patio and some green space in the backyard, too. Upstairs was another bedroom, bathroom, and an office. There was a one-car garage, as well. The door for it was right next to the stairs. It was propped open, and inside, people were playing beer pong and darts.

He headed that way since there was a refrigerator where he could store the beer. Sasuke assumed Naruto was following, but as soon as he opened the fridge, he noticed the blond had disappeared. It's not as if he could've gone very far, so Sasuke grabbed a beer from the fridge and shut the door. He glanced around the room to see if he knew anyone. He did recognize someone from one of his drawing classes that he didn't particularly hate, so he went to give a quick hello before going in search of Naruto.

The music coming from the stereo system was excruciatingly loud. A few people who were drunk enough were dancing, but most were hanging out on the couches, talking and drinking. All in all, there were at least 30 people packed into the downstairs alone, which was likely a fire hazard. Women were dressed in very short, sequined dresses and most of the men were in attire similar to his. Neji ran with a very… preppy circle, and yes that included him. Another group of people he knew waved him over, so it was an additional 10 minutes before he was able to look for Naruto again. He eventually found him in the downstairs bedroom, about to take a shot with Neji, who was smiling and laughing. Sasuke made his way through the annoying idiots standing in the damn doorway to go in and join them.

"Sasuke," Neji said when he saw him, half-shouting in his ear. "I saw you and Naruto come in. I hope you don't mind that I borrowed him. We were just discussing religious philosophy."

"How riveting," he said.

"I'm gonna get another one," said Naruto. He stopped next to Sasuke. "Do you want one?"

"Sure… whatever you're having."

"Alright. I'll be back."

Sasuke watched him leave, wondering if they were back on speaking terms, but then Neji grabbed for his arm and dragged him into the empty corner near the walk-in closet.

"So, how was your date?" Neji asked.

"It wasn't a date," Sasuke replied. "Don't be juvenile."

"Naruto said you took him to BO-Beau. If you're taking him to fancy French places and paying, it sounds like a date to me."

"I owed him for something," Sasuke told him. "That's all there is to it."

"Owed him?" Neji slipped an arm around his waist. "What could you possibly owe him for?"

"Nothing worth discussing here. Where's Sakura?"

"Out with her girlfriends. She'll be here in a half hour, or so she said in her last text. She abandoned me after we went to dinner. I did mention to Sakura you had a friend visiting. She was rather curious about him. I said only good things, don't worry."

"Great."

"Personally, I think they have a lot in common," Neji continued, rubbing his back. "I know you're protective of him, but Sakura would definitely show him a good time."

"You sound like you're trying to pimp him out," he replied, ignoring the fact Naruto said the same thing at dinner.

"I only mention it because he was asking about her." Neji smirked, and Sasuke was just about to step away from him, but Naruto chose that very moment to reappear with their shots.

He was now experiencing flashbacks of every time Naruto caught him with Sai. Except, Naruto already knew that he and Neji had a past, so it's not as if it should be shocking.

"I brought one for both of you," Naruto said, his expression not revealing much. "Mighta spilled a little on the way. Hard to carry three at once, and I couldn't find a tray."

"It's alright," Neji said, taking both from him and handing one to Sasuke. "Shall we toast?"

"Yeah, let's toast," said Naruto.

Sasuke remained silent, mostly because he felt highly conscious of Neji's hand on his waist again while Naruto stood there watching them.

"Here's to those who'd love us if only we cared," said Neji, holding the glass aloft. "Here's to those we'd love if only we dared."

Naruto smiled. "Cheers then."

Neji happily clinked his glass with Naruto, and then they both turned to him, waiting.

"What?" Neji asked. "You didn't like my toast? You give one then."

Sasuke, biting his lip at first, was remembering lines from something he'd read a long time ago.

"Teach me to feel another's woe, to hide the fault I see," he said, his chest tightening for some reason. "That mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me."

"I feel like I've read that somewhere recently," Naruto muttered.

"Why?" Neji asked him with a smile. "Are you a fan of Alexander Pope? If you're a lover of poetry, Naruto, I may have to steal you from Sasuke."

"Heh, must be fate as I don't know a thing about poetry," he admitted. "Music is more my forte. Playing it I mean. I could never write lyrics to save my life."

Neji removed his arm from Sasuke's waist. "What do you play?"

"Just the piano. I had behavior issues as a kid, so my mom had me take lessons. To help me focus and get my mind off stuff."

"That's an interesting solution to ADHD," Neji commented. "Did it work?"

"Eh, it wasn't ADHD. But anyway, it was one of those deals where they have kids release their bottled up emotions through creative outlets. I incorporate a lot of what I learned back then into my Sunday School lessons."

Sasuke's heart jumped at this little bit of information. He'd never thought to ask Naruto why or when he learned to play. He only knew he could play well. Neji also seemed interested as he reached for Naruto's empty shot glass, set it in his, and stacked them on the dresser.

"So you teach Sunday School? That's not something I hear very often. Does that mean you're not going back to school then?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Honestly? I don't know."

"That's fine," said Neji, much to his surprise. "A lot of people take time off to figure out what their calling is, but that's far too heavy a topic for a party, so may I get you another drink?"

"I can get it," Naruto insisted, but Neji took hold of his wrist and whispered something in his ear. He waited for Naruto's response before leaving the both of them alone.

Feeling uneasy, Sasuke slipped a hand into his pocket. "I didn't know you learned to play piano as a form of therapy."

"You never asked." Naruto smiled crookedly. "I know you draw because Gaara did, and he taught you. That poem you recited, I know it because it was written in his sketchbook."

"I'm already aware you're better with people than I am, Naruto."

"That's _not_ what I was implying," Naruto replied, his brows drawing together. "I was only thinking about how the events from our pasts shape us."

That may be true, but he still thought Naruto was calling him out on his awkward social skills. He also wondered why Naruto answered Neji's questions without hesitation. Although, he did understand Neji knew when to stop, unlike him. He couldn't deny he was already on the verge of asking Naruto more questions about what he meant by behavioral problems.

"You're glaring," said Naruto.

"I don't understand you," he confessed.

"Huh? Are you really that mad because I listen to you and pay attention to you and remember what you say? Because I _like_ getting to know you?"

Sasuke was hit with a fucked up desire to punch Naruto in the face for getting on his nerves _and_ throw him down on the nearby bed to demand… _something_. He ached to find any excuse to touch him, and yet he couldn't move. Naruto looked as though he was content to keep his distance. Why was he staying away? Why was there suddenly so much tension between them?

Naruto was looking to the side. "I can't figure out why you think Neji and I wouldn't get along. He seems like a really nice guy. Or, maybe you just thought he'd look down on me for goin' to church or droppin' out of school? Is that why you brought it up earlier?"

"Naruto."

That wasn't true at all… or was it? He had been afraid Neji might mock him for those things but it wasn't because he looked down on Naruto, it was because…

"You're wrong," he said, "It's because - "

"Hello _boys_ , I brought you your drinks. How's that for service?"

Appearing from behind them, Sakura threw an arm around Sasuke's shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. Her skin felt cold from being outside.

"Sakura," he greeted her with a nod, taking the shot glass.

Sasuke swept his gaze over her stylish outfit. He knew how much time and thought went into a woman's ensemble, especially on special occasions. So that he wouldn't get beheaded for not immediately flattering, Sasuke complimented her sincerely.

"You look beautiful," he said. "As always."

And, truly she did. Her hair, which when he'd first met her was cut short, now hung several inches below her shoulder. A natural blond (though not as fair-haired as Ino), she'd dyed her hair a baby pink. It was curled at the ends. Having a fine figure for the most part, she wore a black laced camisole that showed the barest trace of her flat stomach, a sequined mini skirt that was gold near the waist but blended into other colors at the bottom: black and a deep red. She also had on an asymmetrical short black leather jacket that must've been new as he'd never seen it before. A Christmas gift, perhaps? There were gold bracelets and bangles on each wrist and a simple gold necklace. He need not look at Naruto to know that he was drooling.

"You look great, too," she said to him, and, shrewdly, turned her emerald-colored eyes upon Naruto. "This must be yours." Sakura handed him the other shot. "I'm Sakura Haruno."

If he hadn't already expected this, Sasuke would've been annoyed when Naruto appeared at a loss for words before letting out a short laugh at his own expense.

"Sorry," he said and took the shot from her. "Sasuke didn't do you justice at all when he described you."

"Oh God, never ask Sasuke for a description. He doesn't pay attention to those kinds of details! At least Neji told me you were here. You're from Sasuke's hometown?"

"I am, yeah." Naruto stepped closer to her, holding out his hand. "I'm Naruto. You probably know that already, but I'd feel impolite if I didn't formally introduce myself."

Sakura took his hand. "Naruto, it's nice to meet you. It's not very often we meet friends of Sasuke's we don't already know, and I'm especially intrigued you live where he grew up. But, you're not from there, right? I think Neji said as much at dinner."

"Uh, no. I'm from San Diego. I've been there over three months now. My dad was lookin' for somethin' else with his job, and this new position sort of fell into his lap."

"And that position is…?" Sakura asked.

"He's a pastor."

"Oh." Sakura nodded, and Sasuke expected her to make a smartass comment, but all she did was smile. "That's so crazy! I've had girlfriends whose fathers were pastors, but never any of my boy friends. How is it then, growing up with a pastor as a father?"

"Heh. Before I give an honest answer to that, should we take a shot first?"

Sakura laughed in delight. "Definitely. I'm no good with toasts, so shall we just clink our glasses and move on to the next drink?"

Naruto smiled brightly without looking at Sasuke once. "Sounds like a plan to me."

Sakura touched her glass to Naruto's and then Sasuke's. Finally, he and Naruto shared a look, with Naruto holding his out first. Sasuke gently tapped his glass to Naruto's, and they all drank.

After that last shot, it almost seemed like the music got even louder.

"Say, Naruto," said Sakura. "How good are you at beer pong?"

"Decent." Naruto shrugged. "I'm definitely not the worst."

Sakura set her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you're only being modest. Would you like to partner with me? We'll find Neji, and he and Sasuke can pair up. Sasuke's abysmal at beer pong, so I suppose I'm already cheating. Isn't that right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke glared at her. She was really going out of her way to charm Naruto for some reason.

"Are you asking about my beer pong skills or your propensity for arranging situations in such a way that you end up reaping most of the benefits?"

"Both," she answered gleefully, taking his arm. "Besides, I did give you Neji. He and I were upset you didn't call while you were on break. I texted _twice_. Were you that busy at home?"

"Naruto kept me busy," he said, sparing him a brief glance. "But now he's in your hands."

"I can't wait to hear how the two of you met and what you've been up to, but we'll have to wait until we find some place quiet first."

Without waiting for his reply, Sakura grabbed for Naruto's hand while also grabbing for Sasuke's. Neither had any choice but to follow. She artfully guided them through the crowd until they reached the garage, where Neji was in the process of setting up the next game of beer pong. Before he could protest, Sakura had dragged Naruto to one side of the fold-out table. Neji called him to the other, and Sasuke was stuck helping him align the red solo cups.

He tried not to eavesdrop, but he caught bits and pieces of Naruto and Sakura's conversation. Like Naruto, when Sakura was in an upbeat mood, she could chat the ear off of anyone, so obviously those two wouldn't lack for conversation. In a way, it was difficult for him to observe how easy it was for Sakura to make Naruto smile or laugh. She did it with so little effort that Sasuke really had to wonder if Naruto was simply putting up with him in coming here.

"You're staring," Neji felt the need to point out. "Try not to be too obvious. It doesn't suit you."

He scowled. "You don't know what you're talking about. It was my intention to introduce the two of them all along."

"Is that so?" Neji asked. "Well, I'm only telling you what it looks like when you're watching them."

"What does it look like?" He asked, and Neji straightened up, standing close to him.

He touched Sasuke's cheek, and, almost automatically, Sasuke felt his whole body relax.

"You don't hide your emotions as well as you think you do, especially when you start drinking, so keep that in mind." Neji pressed a hand to his forehead. "How are you feeling? You look pale."

"I feel alright," he murmured as Neji tucked a piece of his hair behind an ear.

"If it's not Naruto you want," said Neji, "You know I'm always available. Well, not _always_ , but I think I could definitely… squeeze you in."

Sasuke shook his head, but it did make him smirk. "You know I'm terrible at this game."

"I know you are." Neji sighed, tossing his long hair over one shoulder.

Sasuke realized he hadn't hardly paid much attention to what Neji was wearing, but he looked handsome as usual in a pair of tight black jeans, boots, and a dark sweater with a deeper v-cut. Then he felt Neji's hand on his lower back, hot enough that it heated his skin. Okay, well _that_ could certainly make him forget about Naruto and Sakura flirting and slobbering all over each other right in front of him. Bisexuals, he thought, were a terrifying thing even if Naruto hadn't admitted to that being his orientation. He was as natural a conversationalist and flirt with women as he seemed to be with men. Sasuke wanted to ask Neji his thoughts on the matter, but he didn't want to betray Naruto's privacy as he had no intention of mentioning Sai.

"I know I don't need to ask Neji this, but are you two ready to receive a serious spanking?" Sakura shouted at them from the other side. "Should we make a bet?"

"I don't know how I feel about that," said Neji. "Last time we did, I nearly broke my ankle when you forced me to walk in your knockoff Manolo Blahniks down to the next block."

"Please tell me you have pictures of that," Naruto said.

"I'll have you know that my legs looked fabulous, Naruto."

Naruto laughed. "Yeah, I bet they did."

"I can't ever get Sasuke to agree to bets like that," Sakura said, flicking her pastel-colored hair behind her shoulder. "I think he's too worried about embarrassing himself, but I've definitely caught him in some compromising positions before."

Neji, meanwhile, was filling the cups with beer, and Sasuke could all but read his mind. Most of those situations likely would've involved him.

"Shut up, Neji," he said.

Neji looked up at him, obviously amused by all of this. "You never cease to entertain me. Perhaps if I get you drunk enough, you'll actually make a move."

"On him, or on you?"

"Either way, I get something out of it. You're not usually this awkward when you like someone."

"I don't like him," Sasuke said. "It really wouldn't bother you to see me with another man?"

"Don't make me laugh." Neji reached for the beer he'd set on the corner of the table. "You know I'm not interested in relationships, and I already know you don't like me that way. It's why we get along so well. You should also think about how all of your other attempts at college romances turned out, so why not just relax tonight? Be more like Naruto. He's not seeing anyone, is he?"

"No," Sasuke answered, even though Sai came to mind. "He's single."

"Maybe I was wrong about him. He seems rather attached to Sakura, doesn't he?"

"Attached isn't the word I'd choose," Sasuke replied and snatched Neji's bottle from him.

"Attracted then."

He was about to argue, but became distracted when Neji suddenly took hold of his face and kissed him out of nowhere. Though surprised, Sasuke was used to it, so he ended up returning the kiss on reflex, but only until he remembered there were people watching them.

Self-consciously, he glanced around, gaze coming to a stop when it met Naruto's. It lasted a second or two at most, and then Naruto simply went back to talking with Sakura.

It was so _easy_ for him, wasn't it? He was asking her about her family, her hometown, her friends, and intermittently complimenting her on whatever. Always as he did it, he would touch her in some way. Not inappropriately like some straight men did, but lightly on her bracelet to say it was _cute_ or teasing her about the color of her hair or asking to borrow her jacket. It shouldn't have irritated him so much, but it did. Not because he was jealous, but because watching them made him acutely aware of his own inadequacies.

"Sasuke?" Neji asked, handing him the ping pong ball. "Are you ready to play?"

"I'm ready," he answered, turning so that he wouldn't have to see them anymore.

Neji nodded. "Naruto. Sakura. Are you ready to get serious, or are you going to flirt all night?"

"Oh, like you're one to talk! We were waiting for the two of you to stop making out," Sakura scolded. "I _will_ come over there and beat you up."

"See, Naruto," Neji yelled over at him. "Don't let her try to convince you that she's any kind of a lady. She can be as big a brute as any man I know, and I've known _plenty_ of men."

Sakura shushed him. "Don't say that in front of Sasuke. You'll make him jealous."

"Why does this feel like it's turning into a comedy of errors?" He was talking mostly to himself, but apparently Neji heard him.

"Better a comedy than a tragedy, Sasuke." Neji pat him on the back consolingly. "You're clumsy when it comes to romance. Sakura, on the other hand, is very charming, and Naruto, as far as I can tell, has a lot of rather _appealing_ qualities, too. I mean, have you seen his ass?"

He knew Neji was trying to be funny, but it really wasn't helping his mood.

Sasuke squeezed the ping pong ball in is hand as if it could minimize his stress. "Then why don't _you_ try to pick him up? Since you're such an expert at romance."

"It worked on you, didn't it?" Neji took the ball from him before he could break it. "And if you give me time, who knows? Maybe I _will_ make an attempt since you said you're not interested."

"Whatever," he said. "Let's just play."

"I can tell you're going to be in one of your moods tonight," said Neji. "But luckily I find this brooding, romantic side of you to be… quite sexy."

* * *

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Check profile for special announcement.

* * *

Chapter 13

It turned out Naruto really was just being modest. Sasuke and Neji were stuck splitting at least eight half-filled glasses of beer between them. They would've played another round, but spectators were apparently so _dazzled_ by Naruto's beer pong skills that they demanded to play the winners.

With people realizing they would be provided entertainment in the garage, a crowd had started to form, making for a rather claustrophobic experience. He and Neji decided to get out for a while and left Naruto and Sakura alone to defend their title.

"Their teamwork is very impressive," Neji remarked as they headed to the second floor.

Sasuke had complained of feeling hot, so they were trying to find a place where there weren't any people. That meant Neji's bedroom, which had been marked off-limits to party goers.

"Naruto was doing most of the work," he replied.

Neji opened the door to his room. "Should I get you some water?"

"I'll be fine once I sit down. Crowds of people can be so annoying." He went over to Neji's bed and took a seat on the edge, unable to keep his hands still as they lay in his lap.

Neji stood by the window, holding the curtain aside to stare out at the sky. "Is there something going on I should know about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know." Neji looked over at him. "Did anything happen while you were at home?"

"Again. I don't know what you mean. Nothing's happened with Naruto if that's what you're asking."

"It wasn't. I was thinking more along the lines of a fight with your family? You seem distracted." He approached the bed and gently feathered Sasuke's bangs out of the way of his eyes. "I can't quite put my finger on it."

Sasuke searched his face, wondering what he was thinking. "It's nothing."

"So something _did_ happen?"

"If I wanted to talk about it, don't you think I would've brought it up by now?"

"Not necessarily," Neji replied. "If you're not interested in Naruto, why did you bring him here?"

Sasuke lay down across the bed, dizzy from the alcohol. "Who knows."

Neji, rather abruptly, kicked his feet apart before crawling over him on hands and knees. "I can't imagine you acting this way for a man you knew to be straight, so you must think you have a chance with him."

"Why is it any of your business?"

Neji slipped a hand underneath his sweater, touching skin. "You feel hot."

"It's the alcohol," he said. "It's making me hot and tired."

"Tired already? That doesn't bode well for me."

Sasuke pressed a hand to his hard chest. "What makes you think I'm in the mood?"

"We're alone in my bedroom." Neji tilted his head, his long, dark hair like a veil as it fell over his shoulders. "You're beneath me on my bed and quite obviously sexually frustrated. I wouldn't call this mixed signals."

He covered his face with his arm and closed his eyes. Usually the offer of sex, especially from Neji, would be enticing. Instead, there was just this dizziness that was giving way to nausea. But, it felt good to be wanted, and Neji was warm. Maybe he only wanted one thing from Sasuke, but at least that meant things never became overcomplicated.

A loud roar erupted from downstairs.

Neji smirked. "I wonder if that means they lost or won?"

Sasuke licked his lips. "Neji…"

"Hm?"

"On second thought, would you mind getting me a glass of water?"

Neji gave a concerned look, nodded, and slowly got off of him. "Sure, I'll be back in a few minutes."

When he left, he shut the door, and Sasuke, feeling relieved at being alone, covered his eyes again. He felt so sad all of a sudden. Why was he surprised Naruto was getting along so well with _his_ friends? Why was he also surprised Naruto was having a good time, and without needing Sasuke there for it? He had felt left out at first after meeting Naruto's friends. He didn't feel like he belonged in their group, and though he warmed up to them, he would still feel that same awkwardness should he see them again. Naruto wasn't like that. Why had he thought he could keep that warmth and light all to himself? Why had he been beginning to feel as though Naruto was as attached to him as Sasuke was starting to feel for -

A light knock sounded on the door. It opened, and, instead of Neji, it was Naruto.

"Hey," said Naruto, looking uncertain when he spotted him lying there. "Neji said I should bring you this?" He held up a glass. "I was in the middle of kickin' some ass, y'know."

He walked to the bed, and Sasuke sat up, but slowly.

"I didn't ask for you to stop on my account," he muttered. "I only asked Neji for a glass of water."

"Sorry to disappoint. You got me, instead." Naruto handed him the glass. "Need anything else, or did you want to be alone?"

Sasuke almost flinched when their fingers touched. "...How many times did you win?"

"Up until I left just now… three, including our match."

"Did you major in beer pong at that community college of yours?" He asked condescendingly.

"Heh. You're funny." Naruto sat next to him, either oblivious to Sasuke's tone or ignoring it. "Like I said, I cared more about partying than classes, but high school had its wild moments, too. Did I ever tell you how Sai used to take me to college parties? He didn't get along so well with the kids at his school, but guys in college always liked him. They'd invite him to party on the weekends, and I was lucky enough to get to tag along sometimes."

Sasuke sneered, able to imagine that easily enough. "So you could say he's the reason behind the bad habits you've picked up over the years?"

"No. I wouldn't say that at _all_." Naruto scowled at him. "Why are you bein' like this?"

"Like what?" He asked.

Even now, his voice still retained that hard edge. He was aware of it but couldn't help it. Naruto being this close made him angry for some reason.

"Like you're mad at me," Naruto replied. "But what exactly did I do? Is it 'cause I came up instead of Neji? I _told_ you I didn't want to get in the way of - "

"Enough," Sasuke snapped and got to his feet, though he wobbled a little. "I'm going downstairs to make another drink. You're getting on my nerves."

" _Huh_? Why?" Naruto stood up, grabbing him by the arm. "Explain it to me 'cause I have no idea what's goin' on in your head right now."

"Just… just go back to Sakura," he said, embarrassed by his own pitiful behavior.

"Are you… drunk?" Naruto asked.

"No."

Naruto let go of him. "Fine, I'll get out of your way then. You could've just told me you wanted to hook up with Neji without havin' to be a dick about it."

"You're an idiot," Sasuke said, shoving the empty glass at him. "Get out of my face for a while."

He left without looking back, knowing very well that if he stayed he would either say a whole slew of things he'd regret admitting, or he'd throw himself into Naruto's arms like that first night. It frustrated him because, why couldn't he simply have Neji fuck him and take his mind off of things? Why did he want something from Naruto, and what exactly was it he wanted anyway?

On his way downstairs, he noticed there were even more people than earlier. He bypassed the garage and headed for the kitchen, where he poured himself a glass filled with a variety of whatever bottles were closest. If Naruto came downstairs, he didn't notice, and Naruto certainly didn't come looking for him.

It felt hot inside still, so Sasuke, with his drink in hand, went out on the patio for some fresh air. There were several couples who'd also gone looking for their own bit of privacy, which was... annoying. At least the cold air felt good against his skin. The moon was out, bright and full as it illuminated the the blue-black sky. He took a seat in a folding chair near the covered grill. While sipping at his drink, he closed his eyes and rubbed at his temple. How stupid did Naruto have to be to think that he wanted to be alone with Neji?

 _Just because they'd kissed in front of him and had gone up to Neji's bedroom. Just because he'd pushed Naruto toward Sakura._

Why was he doing all that anyway? Why _wouldn't_ he? He didn't think of Naruto that way. He was single, and Neji was attractive. Naruto showed interest in Sakura, and if Sakura liked him back, why would he get in the way of that?

As he swirled his glass, he watched the liquids moving inside. He became curious if this is what Naruto had felt like that night he walked in on him and Sai kissing. It was a lonely feeling. Without Gaara, he always felt so lonely. Sasuke tried imagining his face, but after a few years, some of the details had grown distorted. Gaara remained that 17-year-old boy in his head. What would he look like at 20? His 21st birthday would've been next month. That made him feel even more like shit to think about.

Sasuke, though it was cold and he had no coat, sat there for who knows how long having an imaginary conversation in his mind with his dead boyfriend. Oddly, it brought him a sense of peace, even if it didn't make him feel a whole lot better since, as soon as he opened his eyes to face reality, he'd be all alone again.

* * *

"Sasuke?"

Had he dozed off?

"How long have you been out here all by yourself?" Sakura touched his cheek. "You're freezing! We were wondering where you were!"

"There aren't many places to look," he mumbled, realizing that he couldn't stop shivering.

"Get up, get up!" Sakura pulled him to his feet and pushed him inside the house. "God, all those people out there, and they thought it was okay to let a guy fall asleep without a coat?"

With a frown so deep it wrinkled her forehead, Sasuke, barely able to string a coherent thought together yet, poked her in the forehead.

"Ow, what the hell was that for?" Sakura asked, smacking him in the chest.

"You're going to get more wrinkles than you already have," he said.

"You are so not cute right now. I'm going to find Neji - "

But, before she could, he grabbed her by the arm. "Don't."

"What? Why not? I'd get Naruto, but he came back from upstairs in a bad mood, I'm assuming because you picked a fight with him."

"Is that what he said?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes.

"No, he didn't say anything, but the first part of the night he was all jokes and smiles, and now he's been brooding in the garage. You're supposed to be showing him a good time! Neji's been keeping him company, so at least he wasn't feeling neglected."

"No," he said dryly, his sour mood returning. "We wouldn't want that."

Sakura sighed and, with her heels on, she was only two or three inches shorter than him. She felt his forehead for a fever.

"You're burning up. Should I take you home?"

"I'm fine, Sakura," he said irritably. "Stop concerning yourself with me and go back to the game."

"You really _are_ in a mood. I'm going to get Naruto and tell him you two need to go home. Although, he's in no shape to drive, and you may pass out at the wheel. I can call - "

Sasuke squeezed her arm. "Sakura… I'm fine, and I don't want you to tell Naruto anything."

"Why?"

"Because," he looked away, "He's annoying when he worries."

"Hey." Sakura reached for his hand and held it. "Is there… I mean… do you _like_ Naruto?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why would you ask that?"

She sighed. "This always happens. It's so unfair. He's really nice and… good looking! Dammit!"

"What are you talking about?"

"He likes men, doesn't he?" Sakura, letting go of his hand, pounded him on the chest without any real force. "I'm so stupid. Is he _gay_?"

Surprisingly, he was finding this rather adorable. How similar her and Ino were.

"No, he's not gay," he reassured her. "Do you… like him?"

"Not if you've already called dibs." She pouted.

Sasuke, sighing, pulled her into a hug and ignored her gasp of surprise. Eventually Sakura returned the hug, wrapping both arms around him.

"You're being weird, Sasuke," she said into his sweater. "Are you really okay?"

"Probably not."

She pushed at his chest, putting space between them so she could look at him.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked. "You look sad. Are you having one of those - "

"I'm fine," he cut her off. "I fell asleep in a stupid place, that's all. Make me a drink to warm me up, would you?" Sasuke smiled at her.

It was unlikely she'd argue with him, and he knew how to use that to his advantage.

"Fine. I was coming to get the other two some fancy shots anyway," she said. "Do you know if Neji has any lemons?"

"Lemons? They're in here." He opened the fridge, forcing some guy and his girlfriend to move out of the way.

There were a half dozen lemons inside an orange mesh bag. Sasuke picked out the smallest and, retrieving a knife from one of the drawers, started cutting them into slices.

"Oh, can you cut them smaller?" Sakura asked when she saw them. "They're not for the glasses, they're for us to suck."

He grimaced. "Please tell me you're not doing body shots. If that's what you had in mind, I'm going back outside."

"I'm not used to you complaining so much."

Sakura pushed him out of the way and cut the slices he'd already made in half. She wrapped the remainder of the lemon in plastic wrap and placed it back inside the fridge. Sasuke, meanwhile, holed himself in the corner, trying to find some space away from other people. Sakura poured three different liquors into a shaker, tossed in some ice, and gave it a shake for about 30 seconds. Afterward, she poured whatever cocktail she was making into four plain (double) shot glasses. When those were ready, she went over to the sugar container, took out a scoop and sprinkled the pieces of lemon with it.

"There," she said and dusted her hands free of the sugar. "Now I just need to find a tray."

"That I can do," he replied and, nudging another annoying hetero couple out of the way, reached for the cabinet above the stove to get out a small metal tray.

Sakura expertly arranged everything and held it above her head like a waitress. "I knew those two months I was a bartender at Chili's would come in handy."

Sasuke blinked at her. "I'm not sure that's something to brag about."

She laughed. "Come on and make sure no one gets in my way."

He did as she asked, walking ahead of her to clear a path to the garage. The crowd hadn't thinned much, and it suddenly occurred to him he had no idea what time it was.

"Did I miss the countdown?" He asked over his shoulder.

"Huh? No. I think we have about 15 minutes last I checked."

"Ah."

He pushed his way through to the garage, where Naruto and Neji appeared to be in the middle of a fierce battle with two guys, one of whom looked to be in his late 20s. Where the hell had all these people come from exactly? None of them looked familiar.

"Your custom shots have arrived," Sakura shouted, just as Neji made what must've been the winning shot since the crowd burst into hollers and claps, drowning her out.

Sasuke's eyes strayed to Naruto. He hadn't noticed him yet, but he didn't seem in a bad mood at all. In fact, he was laughing as he practically tackled Neji - throwing his arms around him and hoisting him in the air like they were already best friends.

"Neji, you did it!" Naruto shouted. "You're awesome!"

"I am pretty good, aren't I?" Neji put his arm around him, too. "I'd say we make a good team, Naruto."

"Ah, Sakura!" Naruto, with a big smile, waved her over. "Did you see that? We just kicked their ass!" He stopped smiling when he noticed Sasuke standing behind her.

"Sasuke," said Neji. "Where have you been?" He left Naruto's side to come to him. "You look… _awful_. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He smacked his hand out of the way when he tried to feel his forehead. "I was getting some fresh air."

"He was - " Sakura was obviously about to spill her guts, so Sasuke sent her a glare. "With some other people on the patio."

"Oh, really?" Neji asked. "Anyone I know?"

"No," he said, gaze drifting to Naruto, who was watching them silently from a few feet away.

Sasuke couldn't tell what he was thinking, but that wasn't so unusual. Then two guys walked up to him and asked if they could play the next game.

"Uh, I think we're gonna take a break for a while," Naruto told them as he rubbed the back of his neck. "But you guys can have the table."

Sasuke had never seen Naruto completely wasted, but he could tell he'd likely drank a good amount already. It would've been hard to notice, really, except his gaze was just a little unfocused, and he was being quiet, which hardly ever happened unless he was angry. He supposed that was a strong possibility.

"I brought drinks," Sakura said cheerfully. "So, let's celebrate your victory, you two. Sasuke helped me slice the lemons, which is as about as domestic as I've ever seen him be."

Neji smiled. "She put you to work? You realize what she has in mind, don't you?"

"I know what she thinks is going to happen," he said, "But I'll pass."

"What are you talking about? It's almost midnight, so we need to celebrate. Ah, my arm is tired from all this beer pong." Neji rotated his shoulder some. "Your friend Naruto here, I'm afraid I might've let him drink too much."

After gesturing toward said blond, he stepped over to take hold of Naruto's wrist and drag him closer since he'd been standing apart from them. He stumbled forward and now stood only a foot from Sasuke.

"I'm sensing some tension," Neji commented. "You know what will help with that?"

"A fist fight?" Naruto suggested, eyes on him.

So he _was_ angry with him.

Sasuke snorted. "Figures you'd only know how to settle things with violence."

"Oh, right. Like I've ever been violent with you, although you probably need someone to put you in your place."

"Is that so?" He smirked. "And who's that going to be? You?"

"Boys," said Neji, placing both hands to their chests. "I'd tell you to stop, but this display of masculinity is… turning me on. Grab a drink. You'll feel better. Sakura."

"I don't get why you two are fighting," Sakura said, shaking her head. "You're supposed to be friends. Here." She handed Neji a glass, then Naruto, Sasuke, and picked up one for herself. "Now each person take a lemon. The idea is to suck the lemon and sugar, and hold it in your mouth while you take the shot."

"You know I don't like sweet shots," said Sasuke.

"I know you don't like a lot of things," she replied curtly. "But it'll be good, I promise."

"What's the catch?" Naruto asked. "We're just takin' them as is?"

Neji smiled at him flirtatiously. "Did you have something else in mind, Naruto?"

"Not really."

"Oh, I have an idea!" Sakura clapped her hands. "Why don't you hold the lemon in your teeth and let Neji take it from you? I think that'd be hilarious. Let's do it!"

Sasuke almost dropped his shot glass.

"I'm not opposed," said Neji. "But I doubt Naruto would appreciate it. I'm sure it goes against a couple commandments?"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't mind."

"I see. So you're _that_ drunk?" Neji laughed and placed a hand on Naruto's lower back.

"No," said Naruto. "I really don't mind." He played with the lemon. "I just hold it in my teeth?"

"Crap, now I wish I would've suggested that!" Sakura gave Neji a shove. "That's not fair!"

"So have Sasuke hold his for you," Neji told her.

"We both know Sasuke's not going to get any enjoyment out of that. You hold yours for him."

"Works for me," said Neji. "I feel like such a lucky man tonight to be in the company of two very good looking and _passionate_ men."

"Heh." Naruto scratched his head. "I don't think I've done these kinds of shots since my first year of college."

"I'm happy to know it's not your first time. That always makes things a lot easier." Neji grabbed Naruto by the sleeve and pulled him over. "Looks like we're about to get even closer."

Sasuke couldn't look away as Neji settled a hand at Naruto's waist and leaned in to take the lemon from his lips. In his eyes, they might as well have been kissing. Neji sucked it and swallowed the shot. For just a second or two afterward, Naruto's eyes landed on him, but there was still that aloofness to the way he was staring.

"Naruto, you go next," said Sakura. "You can have mine."

"Really?" Naruto looked thrilled at the invitation. "Sure."

Always easily flattered, Sakura laughed. "At least you know how to make a girl feel good about herself. Get over here."

Without any hesitation, Naruto stepped in front of her, placed a hand on her shoulder, and leaned in to gently take the lemon from her lips. He didn't even move out of her space while he sucked the sugar from the wedge and threw back his shot.

"Not bad." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You made this yourself?"

"I did," she answered. "Why, does it taste bad?"

"No. Tastes good." Naruto kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for the shot. Happy New Year."

Sakura blushed as Naruto took a step back from her and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Next." Sakura, her cheeks still red, wagged her finger in Sasuke's direction. "It's your turn, Sasuke. We better keep going snce it's almost midnight. If I'm going to have to kiss _all_ of you guys, I need to be just a little more drunk."

Neji approached him. "This feels familiar. I won't complain if you slip me a little tongue."

Sasuke grabbed the front of his sweater and dragged him closer. "Put it in."

The other man smirked. "Are we talking about the lemon or something else?"

What could he say? He was feeling vindictive.

"We'll have to see, won't we," he said. "It's still early."

"Very well." Neji took the lemon between his teeth, waiting on him to make the first move.

Sasuke leaned in, close enough to allow for their lips to touch. Like the others, he sucked it, and while standing in Neji's arms, swallowed the sweet liquor from the shot glass.

"Happy New Year," Sasuke said to him, smiling slightly.

"Hmm." Neji leaned in to kiss him, sliding his tongue over Sasuke's lips. "Tastes sweet."

"Hey, that's cheating!" Sakura shouted at them. "Not fair!"

"How is that cheating?" Neji asked over his shoulder. "In my defense, he's been asking for it all night."

"You two, I swear." Sakura went to stand by Naruto's side. "If you could keep your hands off of each other for five seconds, I'd drop dead. Had I known that was an option, I would've slipped Naruto some tongue!"

Naruto looked at her, surprised. "Really? I'm free to go again."

Neji, apparently finding this funny, gave a laugh. "But Sasuke still has _his_ piece. Since the two of you are having some kind of marital spat, why not kiss and make up?"

Sasuke glared. "Over my dead body."

"How about half-dead?" Naruto suggested.

Sasuke, moving Neji out of the way, walked up to Naruto after that comment. "I don't think your father would approve of you kissing another man. Do you?"

"No more than yours," Naruto said under his breath, stepping in front of Sakura.

"Can't we be gentlemen about this?" Neji asked them. "Although, I think I could get off on seeing Sasuke kiss the son of a pastor. It might move me to attend church tomorrow."

"Shut up, Neji." Sasuke didn't look away from Naruto. "How drunk are you anyway?"

"Dunno why that matters," Naruto replied. "'Cause even if I am, I'm still not bad enough to be as belligerent as you are sober."

Sneering, Sasuke clutched the front of Naruto's sweater, spun him around, and shoved him against the wall. "Do you have something to say to me?"

"Yeah, you're actin' like a fuckin' crazy person," Naruto told him.

Sasuke lowered his voice. " _I'm_ crazy? I've laid all my skeletons bare for you to see, so how crazy am I really? I'm not the one with the secrets so dark I'm too ashamed to tell anyone."

Naruto also kept his voice low. "At least I know when to stop. At least I don't force my loneliness on others by badgering them to open up so you can see if they're just as miserable as you are."

Sasuke yanked him forward and then slammed him back against the wall, hard enough that he hit his head. Naruto looked really surprised at first, but then he roughly pushed him off, sending Sasuke stumbling backward into some gawking onlookers.

"Hey," Neji said, coming between them. "Sasuke, what the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

"I just realized I've got terrible judgment when it comes to people," he said.

What he really wanted was for Naruto to come after him. He wanted to fight, and he thought Naruto did, too, but all of these other people were getting in their way.

"Naruto?" Neji asked. "Do you want to explain what's going on?"

"How the hell should I know?" Naruto's voice was cold as ice. "He's had a thing for pickin' fights from the moment we met."

"I wonder why," Sasuke returned. "You're so arrogant, Naruto, thinking you can save everybody when you can't even save yourself."

"Sasuke!" Sakura yelled. "That's enough. You're embarrassing yourself. Come on!"

Sasuke looked at her, then Neji, Naruto, and the other people who'd gathered around them.

"I don't care," he said. "If you two like having him around so much, you can babysit him."

" _Babysit_?" Naruto repeated. "Why you - "

Neji placed a hand to his chest. "Naruto. He's not himself right now. I'll take him upstairs."

"Don't bother," said Sasuke. "I'm going home."

Slipping past all of them, he pushed his way through the people crowding the door. Everyone in the living room was gathered around the TV, awaiting the countdown. Once he was outside, Sasuke got as far as the first step before Neji and Sakura caught up to him in a panic.

"You can't drive," Sakura pleaded. "Just come back in. Why are you being like that to Naruto?"

"He's jealous, isn't it obvious?" said Neji. "Though he won't admit it."

"Both of you shut up." He tried shaking them off.

"You're acting like a little boy," Sakura scolded. "When he likes a girl and doesn't know what to do except pull at her pigtails, but you hurt Naruto's feelings! Do you even have a reason to be mad at him? Did he say something to you when you went upstairs? I don't get it."

Of course he had a reason to be mad! It was because… because…

 _He was being left behind again!_

"I'm going home," he repeated. "Keep him here or do whatever. I don't care. Just know that he has a tendency to drink too much, so cut him off if he gets obnoxious."

"Obnoxious?" Neji said. "Sasuke - "

"I don't want to hear it." He pushed Neji away. "I just want to go home. I haven't had anything but that shot in the past hour, so I'm…"

Sasuke stopped, looking at both of them. He felt dizzy and totally lost track of his thoughts. Was it too much to ask that he be left alone? All he wanted to do was go home, crawl into his own bed, and, preferably, not wake up. All Naruto did was remind him of the things he'd lost and could never have. It was too hard -

Before the first tear could fall down his cheek, he felt two pairs of arms wrap around him as Neji and Sakura embraced him, holding him upright.

"It's okay, Sasuke," Neji consoled him. "We'll take care of it. But, you should let us find someone who can drive you home. If you give me just a few minutes." He rushed back into the house, leaving him alone with Sakura.

"Let's at least get the car started so you can have some heat. I hope Neji brings your coat." Sakura slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out his keys. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to feel you up or anything."

"Hn."

She was about to head toward the car when Sasuke took her in his arms and hugged her again, smelling her shampoo and perfume.

"Sasuke…?"

"Thank you," he whispered against her pink hair.

"Why does it have to be like this?" She asked, pushing her face into his chest. "Why does it still make you feel this bad all of the time?"

"It's my fault," he said. "Because I can't get over him…"

"But what about Naruto…?"

"He's all yours," Sasuke replied and let her go. "Tell Neji I didn't need the ride. And…," He turned his his back to her. "I'm sorry."

"It's not me you should be apologizing to," she said. "Don't take it out on him. He likes you, Sasuke. I can tell. Don't push him away."

"I'm nothing to him." Sasuke looked up at the sky. "Only a lost sheep, maybe."

"You're not making _any_ \- "

He didn't let her finish before walking away. Sasuke headed down the sidewalk toward his car, ignoring Sakura's calls. It's not like she could catch up to him in those shoes. He knew he shouldn't be driving, and, yet, the idea of getting into an accident didn't sound _too_ horrible. Preferably without hurting anyone else, but an opportunity to not have to think or feel... if for just a little while, sounded like…

 _Heaven_.

* * *

Despite not remembering much of the drive, he made it to his apartment without incident. He was too tired and out of it to do much more than open the door, walk into his bedroom, and fall face-first onto his bed. Even so, he couldn't seem to fall asleep, but that could also be because his phone kept going off with text notifications.

Sasuke rolled onto his back, sitting up long enough to pull his sweater over his head and toss it on the floor. He lay down again and started reading the texts from Neji and Sakura. Nothing from Naruto except his one text from this morning:

 _I'm ready when you are_

He slid his finger across the words, rereading those five words several times until he typed a reply... and sent it.

 _I'll leave the door unlocked_

It was past midnight, almost 12:30. He waited some time for a reply and when none came, he typed the words he should've said before leaving the party.

 _Naruto… I'm sorry_

His finger hovered over the send button, but then he erased the text.

Closing his eyes, he set the phone on his chest. Naruto was obviously used to and capable of forgiving all kinds of things, but it would be unreasonable to think his patience was infinite. Maybe he'd found Naruto's limit? It's not like he blamed him; Sasuke would grow sick of himself, too, after a while. Neji and Sakura were used to it, and this is exactly what Neji had implied earlier this afternoon.

Ironic, really, if he thought about it. He'd intended to show Naruto a good time tonight and to keep an eye on him because maybe he'd expected Naruto to be the one to need him for once. Except Naruto seemed perfectly capable of fitting in and taking care of himself. He didn't _need_ Sasuke. Sasuke was the one always relying on or expecting something from _him_.

 _Happy New Year_ , Sasuke thought miserably.

"Gaara," he said. "...Happy New Year."

* * *

 _Three years ago_

It was 9 p.m. and Sasuke was searching through Adobe Illustrator tutorials on YouTube. His drawing teachers only knew about art and very little about design programs. Most of what he'd learned so far, he'd been taught by Gaara. He had a few books, but preferred to learn by watching. If his parents weren't home, he would've invited his boyfriend over for a lesson. While adjusting one of his earbuds, he saw his phone vibrating toward the edge of the desk. He picked it up before it fell and saw that it was Gaara.

With a smile, he answered it. "Hey. I was just thinking about calling you."

"Sasuke."

Sasuke picked up his mechanical pencil and tapped it on the desk. "Where are you?"

"Home," Gaara answered. "Where else would I be?"

"Hn. If my parents weren't here… with me?"

"..."

"Gaara," he said, growing a little concerned. "Is there something wrong?"

"Not - " There was an adult male's voice in the background. "Sorry, Sasuke. I need to go to a different room. Hold on."

"Is that your dad? He's not drunk is he?"

"Tell me what you were up to before I called."

Gaara evading his question was not a good sign at all.

"If there's a problem, you can come over," he said. "I'll tell my parents you're spending the night."

"It's nothing I can't handle. I just… wanted to hear your voice."

Sasuke shut his laptop and swiveled the chair around so that he faced the window. "I can sneak out," he offered. "We can meet outside the school."

"It's late. I'll get into more trouble if I try to leave. The door is locked, so he can't get in here."

He sighed. "Fuck, this is getting ridiculous. You should let me tell my father - "

"Your dad already hates me, and just imagine what he could find at my house if he started snooping around."

"My father doesn't _snoop_ ," he said. "He can help you. That's his job."

"You're…" Gaara didn't finish.

"I'm…? I'm what? Go ahead."

"I was going to say naive, but I don't think that's the right word."

Sasuke let out an angry huff. "Where's this coming from?"

"I won't be at school tomorrow. Just to let you know."

"That's the third time this month." He reached for his chain, holding the silver ring in his fingers and dragging it up and down. "I thought we were going to the cemetery tomorrow."

"We'll go this weekend," Gaara told him. "When dad's calmed down a little."

"Why's he so mad anyway?"

"I'm not really sure. I think Kankurou's been talking about joining the military, so that's pissed him off, and… I don't know but… the last few days, I've been coming into my room and finding things missing or moved around."

"Has he brought up, you know... finding the sketchbook at all?"

"I think he'd rather believe it was for art class like I told him, but I know he suspects - "

"Gaara?" He asked when his boyfriend didn't finish.

"Listen, Sasuke. I've got to go. I'll call you tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll leave you to whatever you were doing. Looking at porn?"

Sasuke couldn't bring himself to laugh. "If I was," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "It would only be to learn something new I could show you."

"Hey…"

He bit his lip. "What is it?'

"... I _love_ you."

Sasuke swallowed hard. That's not something Gaara said often. Not even since they started dating. He didn't know how to respond right away but eventually got the words out.

"You, too."

"Call me after school. You should still go to the cemetery."

He bit his lip. "I'll draw something that doesn't suck and show you later. So that you don't think your teaching skills are wasted on me."

"Sounds good. Goodnight, Sasuke."

"...Goodnight."

He hesitated, unable to hang up first. Gaara beat him to it because then he was left with only the dial tone. Something didn't feel right, and he was seriously considering going to his father about this. But Gaara was right, wasn't he? He was always right. His father _would_ start asking a lot of questions. It was probably okay to wait until after school when Gaara called him. If his dad tried anything again… if he _hurt_ Gaara like he'd done before, then Sasuke would do what he had to do. He _wanted_ to believe everything would be okay. And, in all the years they'd known one another, he'd never known Gaara to be unable to take care of himself.

* * *

In the midst of a dream, Sasuke awoke with a start after hearing a bang. He couldn't have been asleep more than a few hours, but, still groggy, his first thought was that someone might be breaking into the apartment. He rolled out of bed, dressed only in a pair of jeans. When he stepped into the living room, no one was there. But, on one of the chairs, there were two coats, including the one he'd left at Neji's. He walked around the corner and saw light coming from underneath the bathroom door.

Sasuke approached somewhat cautiously and jiggled the doorknob. "Naruto?"

He pushed the door open when he didn't immediately receive a response. Naruto was kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet, an arm on the lid and his head on his arm.

"Can't you knock first?" Naruto asked, his voice so scratchy it sounded painful

"How the hell was I supposed to know it's you?"

Naruto lifted his head off the toilet to glare. "Do you usually have people break into your house to throw up in your toilet, or what?"

Wow, did _he_ look like shit - eyes bloodshot, hair matted to his cheek, and… lipstick stains on the collar of his shirt.

"What the hell happened to you?" Sasuke asked. "How did you even get here?"

"Do we really have to talk about this right now? I kind of need to - "

Naruto couldn't even finish his sentence before he had started to vomit.

"I'll get you some water and some Tylenol," he said and hurried to the kitchen.

He should've been amused by Naruto being in this state, but, instead, he felt worried and guilty. Neji or Sakura would've at least come inside his apartment had they dropped him off, so how did Naruto get back here? It was late and there weren't that many Uber drivers here. He could've taken a taxi, but those also weren't very plentiful. The only other option would've been to walk. If he'd known Naruto was going to do something stupid like that, he would've told him to call for a ride.

Sasuke opened the fridge and grabbed a bottled water. He returned to the bathroom and, without knocking again, pushed open the door just as Naruto was flushing the toilet.

"I brought you some water." He set it on the floor next to Naruto and opened the medicine cabinet.

"I'm fine," Naruto said, looking anything but. "Go back to bed."

"You don't look fine. You look like shit."

"Shut up, _Sasuke_."

Sasuke crouched next to him, placing the Tylenol bottle nearby. "You stink, too."

"Fuck off."

"Did you walk all the way here from Neji's? That's nearly a mile."

"What, did you think I'd make your friends drive me? They were almost as bad as me. Sakura passed out two hours ago. Neji… heh. He was hilarious up until the end."

"Is that Sakura's lipstick on your collar?" He asked.

"Huh? Dunno what you're - "

Sasuke pointed at it, and Naruto tried to pull at his collar in order to see what he was talking about.

"Huh. I don't remember where that came from."

"Naruto - "

"Sasuke, I don't wanna hear it. Seriously. Don't fuck with me right now. I am in a _bad_ mood." Naruto pushed him out of the way and, two seconds later, he was throwing up again.

Sasuke watched him as he coughed a couple of times, grabbed the water, uncapped it, and swallowed half of it in less than 10 seconds. He already knew he regretted everything he'd said to Naruto at the party tonight but had no idea how to convey it. Since there was nothing else he could do for him, he left it to Naruto to get the alcohol out of his system.

After he closed the door behind him, Sasuke leaned against it and slid to the floor. It bothered him to think Sai would've known what to do. He would've known the right words to say to calm Naruto and make him feel better. He'd been given an opportunity to show that he could be a friend, someone Naruto could rely on, but he'd only showed him his selfish and childish side by taking his loneliness and jealousy out on him. Sasuke pulled his knees to his chest. It was pathetic, really. He was so happy to rely on others for help and comfort, but when it came to providing them the same... he just wasn't always sure how to do it.

* * *

He only realized he'd nodded off after he found himself flat on his back with Naruto standing over him.

"What the hell?" Naruto asked, holding onto the door.

Sasuke rubbed his head where he'd hit it on the floor. "I was worried."

Naruto scoffed. "You were _worried_ about me? After the _shit_ you pulled tonight? Tch. You should take your own advice and get out of _my_ face." He stepped over Sasuke, nearly smacking him in the face with his shoe.

Sasuke got up quickly to follow him around the corner to the living room. Naruto picked up his coat from off the chair and collapsed on the couch.

"I have blankets," Sasuke said, watching him cover himself with the coat.

"Wow, good for you," Naruto mumbled into the cushion. "I bet you think _that_ makes you better than everyone else, too."

"I deserve that."

"Yeah, well you deserve a lot more."

"... I know."

When Naruto didn't say anything, Sasuke thought he might've passed out, but then he lifted his head and glared.

"You were a real asshole to me, you realize that?"

"I know." Sasuke took a step toward the couch, not sure what to do to make this right.

"You embarrassed yourself in front of Neji and Sakura," Naruto continued lecturing him. "Do you know how upset they were when you left like that? You're such an ass, Sasuke. They're really nice, too. You could've at least texted them back and let them know you weren't dead."

Sasuke bit his lip. "I texted you. You didn't reply."

"Why the hell would I?" Naruto fell back on the couch and covered his face with the coat.

Sasuke went to go pull it off. "I know you're not asleep."

"Of course I'm not asleep, I'm still mad and my head feels like shit, and I'll probably have to get up in a few minutes to throw up again."

Sasuke threw the coat back on top of him. "That's your fault for drinking too much."

"Yeah, well, I wonder why I felt the need to drink so much," Naruto grumbled. "I feel a lot better now that I've puked. I had to stop a few times on the way here. Tryin' to work Google Maps when you're drunk is hard as fuck."

Sasuke took a seat on the sofa, next to Naruto's feet. He started taking his shoes off for him.

"Why don't you take my bed?" He offered, his voice quiet. "I'll take the couch."

"No. I don't want it."

"Then sleep with me in my bed."

Naruto didn't answer, so Sasuke sighed.

"I'll stay on my side. You can pretend I'm not even there, but I thought…" He pushed his bangs out of his eyes, "I thought that you would've been used to it by now."

"Used to what?" Naruto asked. "Sleepin' in a bed with you?"

"My personality."

Getting up from the couch, he set Naruto's shoes near the door. When neither of them had anything more to say, he turned off the light and went back to his bedroom. It was wishful thinking, but he left the door open halfway should Naruto change his mind.

* * *

Sasuke did fall asleep, but it was a restless sleep filled with dreams that were more like memories. In the last one he'd been having, his brother was there, but they were both adults. It was something he'd never considered really. A whole other life where his brother was alive. Itachi would've turned 25 this past June.

Apparently, he was having all kinds of conversations with dead people tonight.

Since he'd woken up alone, it was clear Naruto was still angry with him. Sasuke would've felt the same, to be honest; in fact, he wouldn't have come back to the apartment if someone spoke to him like that. So why did it trouble him that Naruto was still on the couch? He was used to thinking of Naruto as the type to always take the high road. It got him to thinking about whether someone could be too nice, and it did occur to him that Naruto was the type to be easily taken advantage of.

Well, whatever. He reached over for his phone and saw that it was 4.15. Then he heard the shower turn on.

Hopefully Naruto hadn't been sick this entire time. Feeling guilty, he got out of the bed and headed into the living room. Naruto's duffel bag was open and lying near the couch. His coat and cell were on the floor, right where Naruto was likely to step on it. Sasuke glanced at the closet. His mother would've scolded him for being such a bad host and letting a guest sleep on the couch without at least putting down some sheets. In the closet were some extra blankets, so he grabbed those and spread them across the sofa.

When he was marginally satisfied, he returned to his room in case Naruto came out. Sasuke, while he was lying there, tried recalling the conversation he'd been having with Itachi. What would he want to talk to his brother about if he were alive? As he remembered it, they'd been at a cafe and were talking about places they wanted to see together. It was so funny how his heart felt like it was aching for something he'd never considered a possibility. There were already so many 'what ifs' going on in his life that potentially having a brother had slipped to the bottom.

After about 10 minutes, he heard the shower turn off. The lights in the living room came on for a brief while and then went off again.

Sasuke realized he'd been holding his breath. He let it out quietly while staring up at the ceiling, but when the floorboards outside of his room creaked and a dark figure stood in his doorway, he nearly had a heart attack. It was Naruto with one of the damn blankets wrapped around him.

"Get back in your well, Sadako," he said, lifting his head off of the pillow.

"What?"

"Nevermind. Why are you skulking in my doorway?"

"I didn't know if you were awake or not," Naruto answered. "Can I… come in?"

"You can."

Naruto approached his side of the bed. "Thanks for the blankets and water."

"I meant for you to sleep under it," he said. "Not wear it."

"Hmm…"

With Naruto standing over him like that, he didn't know what he was supposed to do or say.

"How are you feeling?" He asked when Naruto didn't speak.

"Better. I'm pretty sure I'm done throwin' up, so that's a bonus." Naruto went to the window and opened up the blinds. "What time is it?"

"After four," he answered.

"Ah."

Naruto stood there a long while, staring outside. In that time, Sasuke had no clue what he might be thinking.

"...Did you sleep at all?" Naruto asked. "Or was I too loud?"

"I slept a little. ...Weird dreams."

"Me, too. I think I slept maybe 15 minutes. Took a shower to calm down from them, but, like you said, I didn't smell too great either."

"Naruto…"

"Yeah?" Naruto's voice was so soft it sounded glass-fragile and childlike.

Sasuke felt a wave of self-loathing. "I'm sorry."

Naruto looked over at him, but it was too dark to make out his expression.

"You know, I have a lotta things I could say to you, Sasuke. I'm gonna be honest, too, and tell you …I lost some of my trust in you. Twice you've told me things, like, you don't like Sai, or you don't like Neji, and you do things where your words and actions don't match up. I always figured you were honest. I liked that about you. Now, though, I don't know what's true and what's not. I don't wanna be around people who make me feel like worthless shit either."

That was like a slap to the face, and he did feel unjustly accused at first, but then he thought about it from Naruto's perspective. He had done things that would make it seem that way, yes.

"I can explain all that," he said. "If you'll let me."

"Why?" Naruto sounded so genuine in his curiosity that it made him feel worse. "I like Neji. I know you think you two wouldn't work for some reason, but he cares about you."

Sasuke chewed at his lip. Naruto sounded so sad, so put out and disappointed in him. He'd caused it. He'd created this misunderstanding and even encouraged it but didn't know how to fix it.

"How long are you going to stand by my window?" He asked.

"I can go back to bed."

"That's not what I meant." Sasuke sat up in the bed. "Will you come here." All Naruto did was stare at him, so he added, "Please."

Naruto walked over to him, holding onto the blanket so that it didn't fall on the floor.

"After I left, did you have a good time?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What's that mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything. I'm genuinely wondering because I'm _hoping_ I didn't ruin your entire night."

"Everyone was in a crap mood for a while. They talked about going after you, but neither of them were in any shape to drive so they texted you. I told them you must've made it since you'd texted me about leavin' the door unlocked."

"And then?" He asked.

"Well, then it was after midnight, so everyone else was celebrating. Sakura, I think, felt kinda bad for me, so she tried to get us back in the partying mood. We drank a lot. There are parts I don't remember very well. Sakura fell asleep in Neji's room. Neji…" Naruto smiled. "He was really hilarious the more he drank. I kinda think the lipstick stains on my collar are his. Maybe it was one of Sakura's dares for losin' a bet? I think they had a good time if you're worried about that. Neji didn't want me to walk, but I just… needed to."

"You needed to walk a mile in the cold to spend the night in the apartment of someone you don't even trust anymore?" He asked, keeping his tone neutral.

"I said I lost trust in the things you say, yeah. And I… wanted to think about some stuff, so I walked, and I was pretty drunk, so the cold air was good. It wasn't smart, I know, but I just also… didn't like the idea of you wakin' up alone on New Year's Day either."

When he said that about him not being alone, Sasuke felt something like heartbreak.

"If I think about it," Naruto continued. "The holidays are rough for me, too. Because I've lost someone. I did think about it at the time, that maybe you were upset about Gaara. I'm also not a mind reader, so I kinda just thought you figured I was gettin' in the way of you and Neji getting together. I didn't get it because… well, you said you weren't interested in him. You said you wouldn't leave me alone to hook up with him, and… I dunno."

Sasuke reached over and tugged at his blanket. "Don't stop there. Go on."

"I'm not doin' this to make you feel bad. I'm just… so _exhausted_."

Hearing that, Sasuke felt ashamed, more than he'd ever been in his life. This is the man who'd saved his life not three days ago. Now, there was a sense that Naruto was used to being treated this way. Sasuke had made him feel small, like his efforts and good deeds went unnoticed. He didn't want to lose Naruto's trust because, as long as he'd thought he'd had it (even if he might not have appreciated it), he'd felt like redemption was possible for him. He shifted in the bed, sliding to the edge. When Naruto took a step back from him, it stung. Sasuke looked up at him, wanting very much to be able to take hold of his hands.

"Naruto," he said. "I won't make excuses for the things I said to you tonight, but know that I didn't really mean them. I know you think I mean what I say, and maybe you'll argue a part of me must've really meant it then, if I said it. Know that I would think the same thing if I were you. What I can say… is that… being around you… "

Why was this so hard? Especially with Naruto looking at him like that.

"I treat you differently than other people, and I don't know why. I was… jealous. Of how easily you were getting along with Neji and Sakura. I thought of when I was hanging out with your friends, and how inadequate I felt then, too. When I get insecure, I… lash out. I admit I was thinking a lot about Gaara… but… why do I hurt you? Why do I treat you differently?"

Naruto reached out and placed a hand on top of his head. "You've been hurt, Sasuke, but I've been hurt, too."

All Sasuke had to do was blink, and he felt a tear get stuck in his lashes. "I know."

"Why are you crying?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know."

Naruto stepped closer and slid his hand to Sasuke's cheek. He wiped away the tear with his thumb. "I do feel bad for you."

Sasuke clutched his hand, holding it there. "Don't give up on me."

"I wasn't going to. You're not as broken as you think you are. I've never thought that about you, even when I found you in the cemetery."

Sasuke let their hands fall together, though he continued to hold onto Naruto's.

"I thought about that a lot for those two days you were sick, and we really didn't see each other. I've even been having dreams about it." Naruto shook his hand, and if that was meant as a hint to let it go, Sasuke refused. "But, you have no idea. What's that saying? When it comes to emotions or feelings, you're like a bull in a china shop. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes."

Naruto let out a sigh. "What do you want from me? Sometimes I can't tell if you like or hate me."

Another tear slipped down Sasuke's cheek.

"You're so hard to read," Naruto told him. "But… lookin' at you, I still stand by what I said about you being pure. I dunno if anyone's ever said this to you, but when I look at you, I see someone who feels a lot more than the average person, and I think it's really beautiful."

"Shut up," he said.

"Those things you're holding onto, Sasuke. They're not your fault."

"Stop it." The tears fell steadily now. "I don't want to hear this from you."

"Why?"

"Because when _you_ say it, you make me feel like I should believe."

"Heh. That's probably my purpose in your life, and I don't mind it," said Naruto.

"Don't say it that way," he muttered. "You make me feel selfish."

"What's wrong with being selfish sometimes?" Naruto asked him.

"Because. It always feels like I only take from you, and I never give you anything. There's nothing in me that you need, nothing worthy of you, nothing that can…" Oh God, his heart was absolutely breaking. "Nothing that can help you! Just like I couldn't help _him_."

Naruto stepped closer and put his arms around Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke clung to him like he would've drowned otherwise.

"I don't need you to save me," he whispered.

"I know," said Naruto. "You told me. People don't really save each other. In the end, we can only save ourselves. If we think we can, or think we're worthy of it."

"Tell me you forgive me."

Naruto squeezed him tighter and said into his ear, "I forgive you."

Sasuke actually let out a laugh. "Thank God."

"I'm kinda tired, though… so I think I'll go back to bed now." He started to back away, but Sasuke wouldn't let him go. "Sasuke?"

"Don't… go. Don't… put space between us. I want - "

"Hm?"

 _Sleep with me. Stay by my side. Don't make me feel like I've let you down._

Sasuke cleared his throat. "I can make it up to you, so…" He pulled at Naruto's hand. " _Sleep_ with me."

Naruto gave him a strange look.

"I mean in the bed, beside me," he clarified.

"...Okay."

"I thought you'd put up more of a fight."

"Well, I'm tired of fighting. Really, I'm just tired."

"No fighting, I promise."

Naruto came around to the other side of the bed. He tossed his extra white sheet aside before crawling in with him. Sasuke resituated himself, too. They lay on their sides, facing one another.

"What are you thinking?" Sasuke asked, barely able to keep himself from brushing his fingers across Naruto's cheek.

"Not thinkin'," Naruto replied sleepily, "Prayin'."

"You look like a little kid."

"I have a young face is all." Naruto's brow furrowed.

Sasuke reached for one of his hands. "So, what are you praying for?"

"Answers."

"Well," Sasuke said to him. "Don't keep me in suspense. What are they?"

Naruto cracked open an eye to look at him. "You know... everyone always asks me that. Because they don't know… or they _pretend_ not to know... because change is hard. _Loss_ is hard. But… m'not special. It's like you say. I'm kind of an idiot. I don't _know_ what the answers are. For anything. Especially why bad things happen. To you or me or anyone."

He cleared his throat. "That may be true… but I would've thought out of all people… you _would_ have the answers."

"Why me?"

Sasuke brushed his thumb over Naruto's hand. "It's just a feeling I have about you. I think it's why I opened up to you that night."

Naruto closed his eyes. "That's too much pressure for one person."

"I think you're strong enough to handle it."

Naruto made a disgruntled noise. "S'cause you don't know me well enough… the things that've happened, the things I did to my family… how messed up I am on the inside. It's not pretty in there. You won't like what you see."

"I don't know what's in there," he said. "But I hope one day you'll show me." Sasuke, enfolding their hands, held them to Naruto's chest. "The demons you keep locked up inside."

"...What happens when you see 'em?"

He took in a deep breath and let it out. "Then I'll do what I can to help make them disappear."

* * *

TBC... eventually


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Two things.**  
1\. If you hadn't heard, I wrote a story/script for a Japanese Drama CD voiced by Naruto and Sasuke's seiyuus. Details in profile if you want to buy!  
2\. I have a few more chapters written. I'll update every week (depending on how many readers review). One does include Naruto's backstory.

* * *

 _Special thanks to **Sqry** , who sent me a generous Starbuck's card that made it possible for me to keep writing while I'm unemployed_

* * *

Take Me to Church

Sasuke awoke when he heard the sound of knocking at his door. He couldn't remember if he'd locked it after Naruto returned. Speaking of, he rolled over and found Naruto wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, mouth partially open while he slept. He looked excruciatingly exhausted so, as quietly as he could manage, Sasuke slipped out of bed and, on his way to the living room, closed the door part way so Naruto could keep sleeping.

Another series of knocks sounded and instead of peering through the peephole, he opened the door to glare at his visitor.

"Good morning," said Neji. "It's almost ten in case you're curious."

Sasuke held open the screen door. "Why are you here?"

"Did Naruto make it back in one piece?"

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, knowing he probably looked like shit.

"He did," Sasuke answered. "He's still sleeping. Rough night."

Neji nodded. "He… " The other man smiled. "Was extremely entertaining last night. And you, how are you feeling?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Do you want to come inside?"

"That's a very personal question, Sasuke." Neji smirked as he passed by, purposely bumping into his shoulder. "As you may know, my answer to that is always an emphatic yes."

Sasuke shut the door. He didn't feel the need to acknowledge such a comment.

"Did you sleep on the couch?" Neji gestured toward the bed he'd made for Naruto.

"Uh, no."

Neji raised an eyebrow. "I guess Naruto really _is_ a forgiving type of person."

"It's not like that." Sasuke, crossing his arms, glanced in the direction of the bedroom. "Why would you let him walk all the way back here?"

"I told him not to," Neji replied, almost sounding offended. "Like I told _you_ to wait until I had a sober driver. But, unfortunately, I wasn't in the best condition to run after him. Interesting how stubborn the two of you are. Sakura's fine, by the way. I drove her home a while ago. You should call her later and apologize. I hope you know that."

"I'll handle it." He tried not to let his feelings about being lectured show on his face. "If you were only interested in Naruto's well-being, you could've texted."

"I did text _and_ call, but you didn't pick up. Neither did Naruto."

"You have Naruto's number?"

Neji smiled. "Of course."

The bedroom door creaked, and they both turned to look. Naruto stood in the doorway, eyes so puffy he could do little more than squint. The collar of his t-shirt hung low, revealing a glimpse of his collarbone.

"Hey, Neji," Naruto greeted and even offered an almost affectionate smile. "What's up?"

"'What's up'?" Neji repeated in a scolding manner. "That's all you have to say for yourself?"

"Heh." Acting sheepish, Naruto came to stand between them, and Neji placed an arm around his shoulders. "You're better off I left when I did. I obliterated Sasuke's toilet this morning."

"Charming." Neji glanced at him. "And did Sasuke take care of you? Did he hold your hair back while you were sick?"

Sasuke was watching Naruto's expression, which faltered just a bit, so he was apprehensive to hear his reply.

"Yeah, he did. Brought me water and Tylenol and made me a bed."

"It looks like you took advantage of it." Neji said sarcastically, nodding toward the couch. "Seeing as you ended up in his bed."

"Neji," Sasuke said.

"I'm simply relieved the two of you worked out your differences. I admit I was worried I'd come here and find evidence of manslaughter."

"It's fine," said Naruto. "I yelled at him, he apologized. We'll work it out on our own. We were both drunk. Not that that's an excuse for anything. Anyway. How's Sakura?"

"Hmm… Sakura?" Neji shifted, gaze wandering around the room only to land on Naruto's duffel bag. "She wants you to call her later and let her know you're okay. She didn't look as put together this morning as she did last night. I'm sure she's glad you didn't see her in that state."

Naruto grinned. "She was fun last night. The shit she had you doin' ̶ ah. Hey, I had some lipstick on my collar. Was that you or her?"

"You don't remember?" Neji asked, and Naruto shook his head. "I think that's something I'll let remain a mystery for a while. You were _quite_ the flirt."

Naruto's cheeks turned bright red. "I was? What did I say? Please tell me I didn't reveal anything too embarrassing?"

"I may or may not have photos and videos of your antics on my phone. No, you didn't say anything, but your handstands and other gymnastics impressed the crowd."

Sasuke scowled. "Ignore him, Naruto. He's only trying to rile you. However, it is likely he does have photos and video since he's prone to blackmail."

"Don't act like you're not curious about what I have, Sasuke." Neji removed his arm from around the blond. "If Sakura can recover, I do believe there's interest in going out to a club tonight. That is, if both of you feel up to it. Drinking is completely optional."

"Club?" Naruto asked, seeming interested. "What kinda club?"

" _Dance_. Do you dance?" Neji asked. "I mean, _other_ than what you showed us last night."

Naruto groaned and covered his face. "What the _hell_ did I do? This is your fault, you know." He sent Sasuke a playful glare, but Sasuke, still feeling guilty, had no response to give.

Neji chuckled. "Nothing that wasn't charming, I assure you."

"Hah, well. I might be interested if I can drink some water and take a nap later. But Sasuke… doesn't dance, right? That wouldn't be any fun for you?" Naruto addressed him. "Would it?"

"Sasuke doesn't dance?" Neji asked. "Since when? I've seen you dance plenty of times. You make a rather _attentive_ partner."

"That was different," he answered. "We were in my hometown, and Naruto was trying to set me up with a friend. The circumstances were awkward."

"Awkward, _really_?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto tried to set you up with someone?" Neji laughed. "Why is that funny to me?"

"It's a long story," Sasuke replied. "One we don't need to tell as I'm sure you'll be leaving soon."

Naruto was giving him an unhappy look, too, but with those puffy, bloodshot eyes of his, it was hardly intimidating.

"We'll let you know about tonight," Sasuke spoke for them. "I think today we're going to relax here, and if we feel up to it later, I'll take Naruto around campus. What about you?"

Neji rolled the cuff of his black track jacket. "I was on the way to the gym. I won't bother asking if either of you wants to join me."

"I don't think I'd last five minutes on a treadmill before I'd throw up," said Naruto.

"That would be unfortunate." Neji slid his hair over a shoulder and set his eyes on him.

Sasuke was becoming curious as to what he was scheming. "So now that you've checked up on us and know we're both alive, I'll give you a call later about tonight."

Neji stepped directly in front of Naruto to kiss Sasuke on the cheek. "Happy New Year. I expect you to spoil him today. You know, Naruto, he really _can_ be charming when he wants to. You just happen to bring out some sides of him I don't think I've ever seen."

"I dunno whether that's a compliment or not, but you seem to have him pretty well-trained yourself," Naruto told Neji.

Neji let out a gruff laugh. "Did you hear that?"

"I heard it," he mumbled. "But I'm choosing to ignore it."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way," Naruto clarified. "I meant you two seem really close. Ah, but I guess that would make sense since…" He stopped and cleared his throat. "Crap."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Are you done?"

"Yes. Yeah, I think so." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks for checkin' in on us."

"Any time." Neji, leaning over, also placed a kiss to Naruto's cheek. "Get some rest."

Sasuke walked him to the door. He almost wanted to push him out the rest of the way for trying to start trouble, which is just what Neji liked to do. Once he was gone, Sasuke shut the door and locked it before turning around.

"What was with that well-trained comment?" Sasuke asked.

"I dunno. You seem a lot more obedient when he's around. You get all quiet and… blushy. I shouldn't have brought that up, but it's not like you and him are a secret, so..."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Sasuke approached him, desperately wanting to fix the blond's hair but restraining himself. "Neji's very physical, and if you could remember any of last night, you'd know it's how he likes to get a reaction."

"It would be okay by me if you admitted you liked him," Naruto said.

"I do like him. He's a friend of mine."

"You know what I mean."

"I could argue a similar chemistry exists between you and Sai. Why not date _him_?"

"Because I'd _like_ to stay friends with him." Naruto folded his arms behind his head and tilted slightly when he put most of his weight on his left foot. "I feel like we've had this conversation before. If I _liked_ someone, I wouldn't punish them by making them date me."

"That's..." Sasuke sighed. "It is possible, though, for two friends to have sex without either requiring anything romantic."

"I agree," replied Naruto. "But, honestly. I was always under the impression you were lookin' for somethin' romantic? So, I can see why you keep sayin' that about Neji despite the way the two of you are with each other. I guess if I was in your shoes… yeah, it is hard to be cool when you're around someone you've slept with."

Sasuke could've jumped on that comment in regard to Sai, but he was more taken aback by Naruto's previous comment. "Wait, can we go back to the part where you think I'm looking for romance? When have I ever said that? I would think you'd tell me I'd be terrible at romance."

"No, I wouldn't," Naruto argued with a frown. "And seriously?"

"Yes. I'm being _very_ serious." He narrowed his eyes. "Why would you think that?"

Naruto blinked at him as if confused. "I'm not trying to start a fight. I thought it was obvious. You seem to want somethin' similar to what you had with Gaara, _don't_ you?"

Stunned, Sasuke started to walk away on instinct. "It's too early in the day for this conversation."

Naruto caught him by the wrist. "That is _not_ a _bad_ thing, Sasuke. At all. I figured if you were only lookin' for something physical, you wouldn't have rejected Sai. Though I admit _our_ friendship would've taken a completely different turn if you hadn't. After getting to know you this week, I can tell you're searching for _something_. I'm not gonna presume you can have that with Neji, but… I dunno. _I_ think the two of you are pretty good together."

"We're friends, Naruto," he said irritably. "I already told you that. I'm not so childish I'd lie about having a crush on him. If I was interested, I'd pursue him, so I'd prefer you trust me in deciding who I want to fuck around with and who I'd want to date. He's a friend I happen to sleep with on occasion _because_ we have chemistry. That's not equatable to romance."

"Okay." Naruto let go. "I won't say anything more about it."

"Yeah, right. That'll be the day." Sasuke walked away and went into the kitchen.

He was alone no more than a minute before Naruto followed, keeping his space as he leaned against a built-in bookshelf just outside of the kitchen, watching him.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Sasuke asked, trying to ignore the heavy gaze.

"You're not really mad, are you? After last night, I'm positive I get a free pass anyway."

"I'm not mad," he replied. "And, yes, you do get a free pass, which is why I'm not throttling you as we speak. You and Neji get along, why don't the two of _you_ date?" Sasuke opened the refrigerator, scanning the groceries he'd bought yesterday.

"Don't you think that would be a dick move on my part?" Naruto asked. "If I was to date a guy you're sleepin' with?"

Sasuke closed the fridge and looked at him. "Are you being serious right now?"

"Huh? You think I'd date Neji? And, no, I wasn't bein' that serious because one," he held up a finger, "He's a very good friend of yours and two," he held up a second finger, "He lives far away and I'm just visiting, and three, I can tell Neji isn't lookin' for a commitment, which is perfectly cool."

"Did something happen between the two of you last night?" Sasuke asked, feeling a strange stirring in his gut. "I thought you were into Sakura."

"I liked them both." Naruto frowned. "Was I not supposed to?"

"Like or are attracted to?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"I…" Naruto leaned away from the shelves and straightened up, a noticeable tint to his cheeks. "How do I answer that?"

Sasuke sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not as if that should come as much of a surprise given your history."

"My history?"

"You know what I mean, and I'm not going to be mad or judgmental if you think you're attracted to either or both. I don't really care."

"It's not like I was gonna _bone_ them," Naruto said rather sarcastically. "Come on."

Sasuke couldn't identify exactly what he was feeling about such a prospect. It wasn't jealousy, it was more like confusion because he genuinely could _not_ understand what it would feel like to legitimately be attracted to men _and_ women.

"So, is this you coming out to me as bisexual?" He asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"I don't really like labels, but… between you and me… I _am_ startin' to wonder."

He couldn't tell if Naruto was kidding this time. "Well, great. I'm sure Neji will be thrilled to hear this." Sasuke opened the refrigerator. "What do you _want_ for breakfast, Naruto?"

"You don't have any more questions than that?" Naruto asked.

"You hate when I ask you questions. I only want to know what you'd like to eat."

"How do you feel about goin' out tonight? I don't, y'know, want us to… I don't wanna fight with you. I don't like it, and I don't get why that happens so often between us."

"It doesn't happen that often," he murmured, becoming flustered. "We're not fighting right now. It's called a discussion. Although, it's a very confusing one."

Suddenly, Naruto grabbed him by the shoulder and stood only a step behind. It felt like he was looking straight through him. His heart began to race, and for just a second, he thought Naruto might kiss him. But, that being impossible, of course it didn't happen. Instead, Naruto picked something out of his hair ̶ a white piece of fluff ̶ and flicked it away.

"Sorry," said Naruto. "Was bothering me."

"...Right."

While he inwardly collected himself, the blond returned to his post by the bookshelf.

"I'm fine with whatever you want. I'd be okay with cereal. Anything heavier than that might not be good for my stomach."

"...How about French toast?"

"Oh, that sounds good. Can I have some strawberries with it?"

"Anything else, your majesty? Fresh whipped cream, perhaps?"

"If you've got it." Naruto smiled. "I want lots of syrup, too."

"Fine. So long as you get out of my face for a while. Go fix your hair."

Naruto touched his hair. "Why, what's wrong with it?"

"You look like that kid from Jurassic Park after he grabbed the electric fence, that's what. I'll let you know when it's ready."

"Fine. I'll go preoccupy myself, but let me know if you need any help."

"Sure. I'll let you know if I have any more attractive friends you can think about banging."

"Cool. You can invite them to the club tonight," Naruto replied with equal sarcasm. "I can't believe you hid it from me that you like to dance. You just didn't wanna dance with me. I see how it is."

"Aren't there any cartoons you can go watch on TV?"

"Heh. I'm gonna go rest up 'cause there's no way we're not goin' out tonight, and this time I won't let you get away with bein' a dick."

"Great," said Sasuke. "Maybe we can make it your coming out party."

* * *

Sasuke turned on the TV while they ate breakfast only to quickly turn it off in disgust after 15 minutes of watching the news.

"That's enough to make me lose my appetite," he said.

Naruto set his plate on the coffee table and pulled his knees to his chest. "I don't get it. I really don't. More people should stand up, you know? Why are Christians so silent? Why do they support him? It's irritating. Doesn't the Bible say 'by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people'?"

"Maybe they're confused about what side they should be on. It's only going to get worse, you realize." Sasuke set his plate on top of Naruto's and, with a resigned sigh, ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, I know. But I have hope that things happen for a reason and eventually good will win out."

"How exactly do you envision that happening?" He asked.

"You gotta believe in the good in people." Naruto grinned. "Didn't you learn anything from _Star Wars_?"

"But this is real life," Sasuke argued. "Even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes."

"You've experienced some of the worst stuff life can throw your way, Sasuke, and _you_ haven't become a husk of a human being."

Sasuke smirked. "Haven't I?"

"Nope. Do you know what will make you feel better?"

"Sex?"

Naruto snorted. "Well, maybe, yeah. I was thinkin' somethin' I can be involved in, though."

Sasuke stared at him in comic disbelief. "Do you need a written invitation?"

"Shut up. You hit on everyone but me, so don't act cute ̶ "

"Do you _want_ me to hit on you?"

"Huh? That's not what I ̶ . I wasn't bein' serious."

"Hm."

"What I was gonna suggest was goin' to the club tonight." Naruto rested his head on the back of the couch, staring at him with those stupidly big blue eyes.

"I do not hit on everyone but you," Sasuke mumbled, glancing away.

"Why is it that I can say you do somethin' that you also say I do, and then you get mad at me?!"

"What are you talking about, idiot?" He let his head fall back onto the couch, too.

"You say I'm into Sai, and then I'm flirting with Ino or Neji and I'm also into Sakura… like, am I a whore in your eyes?"

Sasuke actually smiled. "I see potential."

Naruto laughed loud and hard, then flashed an impish grin. "Let's have fun tonight. I just wanna not think, and I want you to not think with me. Is that okay?"

"Yeah… I know what you mean. If you want to go, we can. I'll text Neji later."

"Thanks for the French toast. It was really good."

"Thank you for… " He bit his lip, thinking about this morning when Naruto had come into his bedroom. "I want you to…"

Naruto watched him as he struggled to find the right words.

"Trust me." He felt his cheeks burning. "I don't want to date Neji. We have sex, we have things in common. He may know how to put me at ease when I'm upset. That's all it is. I didn't mean for it to seem like I thought you were interfering. It really was that there's a part of me… that's jealous of you."

The array of emotions crossing Naruto's features were transparent and many.

"Thank you for saying all that," Naruto replied slowly. "And I feel that… around you… more than anyone else, I tend to feel more guarded than usual."

Sasuke searched his face again. "...Why?"

"Would you believe me if I said I wasn't sure?" Naruto sighed, closed his eyes, and opened them again. "Do you remember that night you forced me to cry in your arms?"

"Uh huh, yeah," Sasuke answered dryly. "I bullied you into crying so that I could then comfort you as I recall."

"Good, glad we're on the same page." Naruto's blue eyes momentarily brightened. "I told you I was afraid, and I still feel that way."

"Why, though? I'm not going to think less of you for anything that's happened in your past."

Naruto stared up at the ceiling. "Like I said, I don't know what it is. I know I'm going to end up telling you… and that scares me. And it's not that I'm really scared you'll think I'm a monster or anything… it's more like… " He looked over at Sasuke. "Being friends with someone like you, which I _want_ to be… aah, how can I explain this?"

"You don't have to, Naruto. It's okay. I rub you the wrong way sometimes, so it makes sense you'd be cautious around me. It's reasonable. I'm not offended."

"You _do_ rub me the wrong way sometimes, yeah." Naruto gave a dark chuckle. "But that's not it. You're like Sai, yet you're very different. He doesn't care I'm a pastor's son. In fact, he doesn't give a crap about it and probably doesn't enjoy when we talk about religion. You, though… have higher expectations of me. I guess because of who I am. I don't think I've ever had a good friend who also went to any church I've gone to. I'm not sure why that is, but here you are, so it's new for me, and I've already told you more than some of my closest friends know."

"Because I _badgered_ you about it."

"Yeah, there's that. I'm sorry, too, Sasuke. About last night. I remember the thing I said to you before you left, about wanting to know if I was as miserable as you are… I didn't… I don't know why I said that. I'm usually better about keeping my temper. Maybe you hit a nerve in sayin' I couldn't 'save' you or anybody because the truth is… I'm not sure I can either. Yeah, we have the power to save ourselves, but I don't go around thinkin' I'm makin' a huge difference just because I go to church or do a few favors for people."

There was an ache in his chest as he listened to Naruto, watched him speak, and realized he'd only served to plant more doubt inside his mind. The blond's hand lay between them; Sasuke reached for it. Naruto raised an eyebrow, but he didn't pull away when Sasuke held it, nor did he look especially surprised or put off by the gesture.

"What's good about you, Naruto, is that you lead by example. Not that I've heard you preach about anything, but that's how it should be. You treat everyone you meet equally and with patience and kindness. I know you're human and not perfect and, frankly, I…" He swallowed and paused to gather courage to speak the truth. "I like that about you. I don't think you've fallen nearly as far as I have, but I do admire you. How you are with people, your view on life."

Naruto's eyes looked glassy, and so Sasuke thought he'd said too much. However, Naruto merely squeezed his hand tighter before glancing at the ceiling again. Still, Sasuke watched his face, watched every minutia of change he could observe. He hadn't always been able to tell what Gaara was thinking or feeling, and he couldn't say he always knew what was on Naruto's mind… but he never doubted for a second those emotions Naruto showed so openly.

"Heh." Naruto snickered. "Is this all because I said you hit on everyone but me?"

"Yes, I'm only saying what you want to hear so I can get you into my bed."

"I've already been in your bed," Naruto commented, picking up their joined hands and dropping them on the cushion again. "Talkin' to you is always so damn intense. It's almost exhausting."

"...Sorry." He would've pulled his hand away if Naruto hadn't held onto it.

"No, it's fine. That's the kind of guy you are… intense. I like it, but it's also… scary. Ah, maybe intimidating is the right word?" Naruto's eyes were on his, and it was almost enough to make even _him_ feel uncomfortable.

This thing he sensed between them sometimes, it wasn't a _sexual_ chemistry, although he could see how that would easily be ignited if either of them decided to go there, but… it was some sort of deep, unexplainable understanding. He wouldn't say Naruto was his destiny. Sasuke thought Gaara ̶ meeting him and being with him before he died ̶ was fated. So, what was Naruto? His second chance? An opportunity to find peace after these last few years? Or, was it that he was here to do something for Naruto?

"I'd have your back in a bar fight," Sasuke offered. "If that's any consolation."

Naruto finally let go of his hand. "I know you would."

"Now that we've concluded our heart to heart, should we get out of here for a while?"

"Yeah." Naruto rubbed a hand over his face. "Fresh air would be good."

"Would you like to walk around and see my campus?"

"Yeah." Naruto nodded. "I really would. Will you be my tour guide?"

"Of course." Sasuke stood up and collected their dishes. "It'll be nice to feel useful to you for once."

Naruto picked up their glasses after stacking them. "Huh? You're useful, although that's a weird way of puttin' it. You helped me clean my house, you go with me to church, you feed me, drive me places, take me out to fancy restaurants ̶ " He smiled at Sasuke. "See, you can do romance if you want to. You've got all the qualities of what probably makes a good boyfriend."

"'Probably'?"

Naruto followed him to the kitchen. "I've never thought of myself as bein' a particularly great potential boyfriend, so I wouldn't know."

"I'll have to ask Ino about that," Sasuke replied.

"High school relationships are different than adult ones. Obviously."

Sasuke gave pause for a second and Naruto, almost immediately realizing what he'd said, apologized.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. That was a bad choice of words."

He shook it off. "It's fine. I know what you're saying."

"Shit. In my case is all I'm speakin' for," Naruto added. "That's all."

"I know, Naruto." Sasuke set all of the dishes in the sink. "You're one of few people who let me talk about him, so I appreciate that. One of few I _can_ talk about him to."

Naruto hovered near the bookshelf. "I like when you talk about him."

"People really do get uncomfortable when you bring up the dead, hm?"

"Sometimes." Naruto's voice was low. "When you give them an opportunity, it's surprising how much people will open up, though."

"I'm sure. In your position, you must hear a lot of stories about grief."

"I do. They really appreciate when you ask about the person. It means a lot. I feel the same when someone asks about mom. You do that. Ino does, too."

"I always wanted to ask you about that picture of you and her. The one on your dresser."

Naruto chuckled. "Ah, that? Mm. When we were at the Grand Canyon? My mom was kind of a hippie, I guess. After the divorce anyway. She used to be more conservative when I was really young. Then she left dad and got into yoga and granola and… it was fun. I liked when it was just me and her. She was easy to talk to. Sakura reminds me of her a little, but my mom was way more goofy. The shit she used to say ̶ "

When Naruto stopped speaking, Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at him.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said when he noticed Naruto getting choked up. "That she's gone. Whatever you went through… but I'm glad you have fond memories of her. It's important to hold onto those."

"Yeah, definitely." Naruto wiped at his eyes, but it looked like he didn't want Sasuke to see him upset, so Sasuke returned to washing dishes. "I think I would've really liked Gaara. I'd like to know the guy you fell madly in love with as a teenager. Was he a good kisser?"

Sasuke snickered, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. "Yeah, he was an excellent kisser. Excellent at everything."

"Not selfish?"

"Far from," Sasuke replied, smiling.

"What if no one can compare?"

"I don't see the point in comparing. I'm not trapped in that time or anything. I've dated since then. I just haven't found the right person."

"I see. Well, I hope you do. I'm, uh, gonna go get ready and stuff. Maybe make a couple phone calls."

"Okay," he said. "I'll shower after this, and we can get going."

"Hey, Sasuke?"

Sasuke turned to look and caught Naruto smiling.

"Tonight… I'll let you hit on me just a little. 'Cause you're bein' pretty great right now."

"Am I? Well, I'll see if I feel up to it later then."

"Heh. Alright. Thanks again for breakfast."

"No problem."

He turned around, which was good because his face felt hot and his heart was doing all kinds of erratic things in his chest. What the hell was that? He knew he thought Naruto was attractive, but…

Fuck it. Maybe he should make a move. Why not? Life was too short, right? What's the worst that could happen anyway?

* * *

After walking around campus for a while, they were in the process of crossing his university's large, open quad. There were only a few people out on this New Year's Day. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground, though the mountains in the background looked covered in white.

"Your campus really is beautiful," Naruto remarked. "I like that you can see the mountains. Do you ski much?"

"I've gone a few times with Neji and some other friends. What about you?"

"Not really. By the time we moved from Wyoming, I wasn't super old, and there's not a whole lot of snow in San Diego."

"What about surfing? Isn't that a thing people do there?"

Naruto laughed. "Yeah, I do surf. I like the beach a lot. I miss it. There's somethin' relaxin' about being around water."

"We do have water here, too, a very famous lake just that way." Sasuke pointed.

"True, you do have that. I doubt I ever would've seen it if you didn't invite me here."

"Have you ever thought of," Sasuke stopped on the sidewalk, "Going back to college?"

Naruto came to a stop beside him. He was wearing that dumb orange beanie today. Sasuke reached over and pulled it off.

"It's not even that cold," he said.

"Ah, my hat!" Naruto reached for it, but Sasuke held it aloft. It wasn't until Naruto kicked him in the shin that he gave it up by tossing it at his face. "Jerk."

"It's bright orange. What are you, a hunter?"

"I love this hat." Naruto pouted. "I don't know if college is for me. When I'm on a campus, I always think it's cool, but if I didn't do so great the first time, why would the second be any different?"

"I imagine going to a community college is significantly different than a public or private four-year university."

"True." Naruto put his hat on again. "I like the idea of the freedom you get out of it, too, but I had that when I was livin' with Sai… other than, well, I was livin' with another guy."

"Wasn't it difficult?"

"What?"

"Living with a man you'd slept with who still seems… attached?"

Naruto squinted as he gazed up at the sky, which was bright and clear except for a few low-hanging clouds. "No. Honestly? It was kind of nice bein' taken care of, and at the end of the day, Sai is my best friend. So, we'd talk and laugh and… it was nice."

"But not a relationship?"

Sasuke placed a hand on Naruto's back. They started walking again.

"I don't think so because it's not as if we didn't see other people during that time," Naruto answered.

"How did Sai feel about that?"

"I guess it depends on if he was seein' someone else, too."

"I appreciate that you're answering my questions," Sasuke murmured.

"I don't find them especially invasive," Naruto replied. "I was naggin' you about Neji, and I am a little curious about the two of you, so it seems fair."

"I figured I'd already answered any questions you may have about Neji."

"You did. You don't wanna date him. I see the convenience of havin' that sort of relationship while," Naruto bumped into him and grinned, "Gettin' somethin' else out of it, too."

"It's been a while," Sasuke confessed.

"All the more reason to think you were genuinely mad at me last night. You totally could've hit that." Naruto chuckled, and Sasuke gave him a push that sent him stumbling into the grass.

"I have a feeling you could've _hit_ that, too."

Naruto ducked his head. "Yeah. I kind of think I could've, too."

Sasuke grabbed hold of the arm of his coat and pulled him forward and back. "Why don't you give it a shot at your coming out party tonight? I'm sure Sakura will be happy to hear she at least has a chance."

"A threesome? Yeah that's the kinda thing a pastor's son should be doin'. I thought you said I was good at settin' examples."

"You'd be my personal hero if you could pull it off." Sasuke smirked and let go of his arm.

"Really? Why?" Naruto stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Sasuke noticed he hadn't brought any gloves with him. Then again, he hadn't either.

He shrugged. "Maybe it's because you're a pastor's son that seeing you let loose would be interesting."

"I'm still a Christian, you know. I don't expect everyone to wear a chastity belt or wait until marriage, but I do believe in moderation."

"Unless alcohol is involved," Sasuke remarked. "I can't even fathom what it's like to be attracted to men and women. Wouldn't it get messy?"

"Aaah." Naruto threw his hands in the air. "If we're really goin' there, I guess I'd say… yeah, it's probably messy if I think about Sai and Ino." He turned to Sasuke. "Just as an example, mind you. They fight like cats and dogs, not as bad as Karin and Sai, but it still always feel like it's about… me?"

"I did pick up on that when they were here, yes. I'm sure it's even more difficult when they're your friends. Can I ask you what may be an intrusive question because I'm genuinely curious?"

"If it's for research purposes," said Naruto, "I suppose I can't get too upset."

"Are you generally… more attracted to men or women? Are you more attracted to Sai or Ino physically? Or… Neji and Sakura? Do you have a preference?"

"Er." Naruto glanced around them as if looking to see if anyone was listening. It was only them, of course. "Are we really goin' with this idea that I'm bi? I dunno how comfortable I feel about it, not that I think there's anything wrong with it."

"If you don't feel comfortable with the idea, then no. You can be whatever you want."

"It's not that I disagree it's an option for me, it's more like, um. I've never called myself that. Even Sai's never really called me that, and I would argue that it's not a 50-50 split except… I am attracted to guys sometimes. Or, I find them to be attractive more than I'm attracted to them."

Sasuke took this in quietly, trying to see it from Naruto's perspective. After all, there was a time in his life that he thought there was something wrong with him for not being attracted to girls as much as he was guys. There was a gray area for him, too, however short. If he hadn't ever met Gaara, there may have been more ambiguity. There was also a part of him that very much wondered if Naruto found him attractive. He'd spoken of Sai being attractive, as well as Neji. Maybe Sasuke wasn't his type, and, even for him, that was a tough question to ask, so he decided to avoid it altogether.

"How does it feel to say all of that out loud?" He asked instead.

"Strange," Naruto replied.

"Strange-good, or strange in a bad way?"

"It feels good to talk to you about it, because you always have this objective way of asking things and replying, too, so I know you're piecing somethin' together for yourself, but, more often than not, when you ask me questions, it makes me think about these things, too. Stuff no one else asks me, and stuff I often don't ask myself. Knowing you like guys helps, too."

"Does it now," he said mildly.

"I only mean that it feels like you'd understand everything it entails bein' attracted to a guy or with one. I guess I feel most unsure 'cause I've… it's always been Sai. Then there's the guilt, too."

"Guilt?" Sasuke stopped again, in front of a sculpture of a large bull. "For liking men?"

"No." Naruto scoffed. "For admitting being attracted to a guy who isn't Sai. How the hell would I bring that up to him? I learned pretty fast not to mention when I thought another guy was hot… or I can't even imagine talkin' to him about _dating_ a guy. Although, yeah, there's that whole series of issues that would come up if I genuinely started dating another man, right? But, like I said, I'd suck at it regardless of datin' a man _or_ woman."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself," said Sasuke. "You don't start a relationship worrying about whether it's going to fail. You get into a relationship because you at least like or tolerate the person and are somewhat attracted to them, right?"

"I guess that's a pretty low-bar description of a relationship, sure."

"Maybe it's commitment you suck at?" Sasuke suggested, humor in his tone.

"Like I said, I think I do better in relationships where there's distance."

"Mm. I know. You keep me at arm's length all the time. However, I can see that not expecting anything to come of spending one night with Neji or Sakura because they're here and you're back home would make it easier to consider them."

"Less Sakura than Neji, though I still think Sakura's hot." Naruto grinned. "I can't tell if Sakura's as, uh, commitment phobic as Neji."

"Is Neji hot, too?"

"I think I don't need to tell you that."

"Would he be your type?"

"I… don't know if I have a type, but it's hard not to agree he's an attractive man, right? I think it's the hair. And the snarky personality. He's such a fuckin' flirt, too. Last night he ̶ " Naruto gave him a weird look right before he clamped his mouth shut.

"Last night he what?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing." Naruto looked off to the side, and his cheeks appeared to be growing even more red than they already were.

Sasuke eyed him suspiciously. He would've interrogated him further, but his phone went off in his pocket. He took it out and saw that it was Sakura.

"It's your girlfriend," said Sasuke. "Did you want to answer?"

"Shut up, asshole, and answer your damn phone."

"Hn." Sasuke hit the call button. "Hello?"

"Really, you think a text is going to make up for the crap you pulled last night, Sasuke? Like, what the hell? And then you let Naruto walk all the way to your apartment by himself. I am so mad at you today! Is he even okay? He drank Neji and I under the table, literally."

"I don't know what that means, and my plan was to apologize to you in person tonight. Naruto's fine. He's here with me now." He glanced at the blond, who was watching him.

"Where are you?"

"On campus. Showing him around."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've gone!"

"Neji made it sound like you weren't feeling well, so I figured you'd be sleeping it off."

"Well, I'm fine now!"

"Hm. You can always meet us somewhere if you'd like. We had a late breakfast, but if you haven't had lunch…?"

"Oh, you know what sounds good right now?"

"I can't imagine."

"Gelato!"

"You realize it's about 34 degrees out?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the conversation; Sasuke approached him, placed a hand on his chest and gave him a push backward for no reason. All Naruto did was glare, but it was kind of sexy.

"I'll meet you there in about 20 minutes. I mean, if it's okay with Naruto."

"I'm sure if Naruto hears it's what you want, he'll agree."

"Really? Stop teasing me. After last night, I already know you ̶ "

"That's great, Sakura," Sasuke cut her off. "We'll meet you there in 20 minutes." He hung up on her. That was a conversation he didn't want to get into with Naruto in front of him.

"Did you just hang up on Sakura?" Naruto asked incredulously.

"It was the end of the conversation."

"For you maybe," Naruto replied. "What did she say?"

"I hope you like gelato because she wants us to meet her for some."

"Oh, that's why you mentioned the temperature. No, that sounds good. You don't like sweet things, though, do you?"

"...How do you even remember that?"

"I _listen_ to what you say, that's how."

"Ah. Is that how it works?"

"Why'd you tell her that if it's what she wanted I'd say okay? You're embarrassing me, man."

They were walking by one of the buildings Sasuke often went to since, in the basement, it housed several studio spaces for the art students.

"Please, she was flattered, and you already told me you think she's attractive. We have some time to kill before she meets us, would you like to see my studio space?"

"Studio space?" Naruto asked. "You have a studio space?"

"Of course I do," he replied.

"So, it has some of your art and stuff?"

"It does."

"And… you're gonna let me see it?" Naruto's surprise was almost insulting.

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked.

"Because you've hardly let me see anything you've done. I've seen more of Gaara's drawings than yours."

"Well, you're lucky as Gaara, even at 17, is still a better artist than I am now."

Naruto smiled. "I like when you say things like that."

"You mean 'the truth'?"

"No… just…" Naruto glanced away from him, smiling still. "I really like the way you talk about him because I've never heard you talk about anyone else like you do him. Like he's your idol. It's… _cute_."

"I guess I can't think of him as having had any flaws," Sasuke said thoughtfully. "Although it's also annoying to get _cute_ while Sakura and Neji are always _hot_. I think I'm beginning to develop a complex being around you."

"Oh, right," said Naruto. "Like you don't know how attractive you are."

While Naruto was busy laughing it off, Sasuke's insides started doing somersaults.

"I didn't know you thought I was," he muttered.

"What did you say?" Naruto asked.

"I said… don't touch anything when I bring you down there."

"Ah, okay. I won't. I'm excited. Like, really. I'm jealous of people who have your kind of talent. I guess there really are perks to goin' to a university like this."

Sasuke was still stuck on the notion of Naruto thinking him attractive to say anything else, so in the short amount of time it took to enter the building and head downstairs to the studio space ̶ it was as if he'd completely forgotten how to make conversation. Luckily, Naruto seemed content to take everything in, though there was nothing exceptional to the building itself. On the upper level was a performance space usually used by the theatre students and a student-run art gallery. Down in the basement it was dark and the hallways filled with excess furniture other departments no longer needed.

He had to swipe his ID to get inside the room, which held about 20 partitioned off studios reserved for painting, drawing, sculpting, and so on. There were other buildings on campus designated specifically for art students, but he came here the most often. They were the only two here, so he flipped on a couple of the lights and led the way to his assigned space. Somewhere along the way, Naruto got distracted by all the artwork students had taped and pinned to the walls of their "cubicle".

"This is so frickin' cool," said Naruto and, jogging over, caught up with him right as he stopped in front of his work area.

On the walls were pencil drawings, paintings, and various graphic design projects he'd worked on for his classes. There were works in progress scattered across his desk, too. Usually it was a lot neater, but it had been finals before he'd left. While Naruto visually dissected everything pinned to the walls, Sasuke decided to straighten up some of the scattered papers and utensils.

"You're really good, Sasuke." Naruto was standing in front of one of his black and white sketches for a drawing class. "I'm kinda mad you've never shown me your art before."

"I'm sorry. Maybe we can make a _Titanic_ moment out of it sometime? You can pose for me like some French prostitute, perhaps?"

"Heh. I'm not too opposed actually. Well, not the prostitute thing, but I think I'd frame it and put it up in my house. You've obviously studied the male anatomy very well."

"Hn. You noticed?" Sasuke stood beside him as Naruto eyed a sketch in which he'd used a full-body portrait of a famous male ballet dancer in a rather provocative pose as a reference.

Then, Naruto moved on to some of his paintings. He'd been playing more with oil lately and didn't feel confident in it, but he was making progress. For some reason, they always came out looking so dark, though. Naruto touched the corner of another sketch, one Sasuke had done of the cemetery where Itachi was buried. There was a raven sitting on one of the headstones.

"Who's this in the background?" Naruto asked, turning to him.

"Some woman," he answered.

"That's vague… why did you sketch her? Is she visiting someone?"

Sasuke sighed. "I don't remember why I drew her in there. Something from a dream, I'm sure."

"A ghost, maybe?"

"I'll leave it up to your interpretation," he replied. His phone vibrated in his pocket, so Sasuke pulled it out and read the text.

"Sakura's just parking and walking there. We should get going."

"Bummer."

"We can always come back another time, depending on how long we're staying here."

"Sure, yeah." Naruto smiled at him. "Wouldn't want to keep Sakura waiting."

Still, Naruto seemed to linger until Sasuke went up to him and took him by the elbow.

"I said you could come back," he told him gently, flattered in a way.

"I'm comin'." Naruto followed, and Sasuke, letting go of his sleeve, turned off the lights before pushing him out through the door.

* * *

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

By the time they walked into the gelato place, Sakura was sitting at a table, checking her phone.

"Hey, Sakura!" Naruto shouted from halfway across the tiny shop.

Sakura, glancing up from her phone, smiled and waved. "Hey, Naruto! Sasuke!"

She got up, dressed in black skinny jeans, red sweater, and a pink scarf. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail. As Naruto walked up to her, they shared a hug.

"I heard you weren't feelin' so well this morning," said Naruto.

"I can't imagine you were in a lot better shape than me. You should see the stuff I have on my phone from last night. It's crazy."

"You have evidence on your phone, too? Aw, man." Naruto groaned. "Neji wouldn't tell me other than the gymnastics, which I vaguely remember."

"I remember being impressed with how flexible you are. Among other things." She smiled and then set her pretty jade-colored eyes on him. "You missed out by leaving so early, Sasuke Uchiha."

"My apologies. The more I hear about it, the more I'm regretting leaving when I did," he said.

"Did you two enjoy your campus date this afternoon? Did Sasuke show you around everywhere?" She asked Naruto.

"Pretty much. He even took me to his art studio."

"Did he? Were you impressed? Sasuke's easily one of the most talented in our year."

"How would you know that?" Sasuke asked.

"Um, because _everybody_ does? The campus isn't so big that students don't talk. Plus, I go to all of the gallery events. You're always taking first place at competitions, too."

"Really?" Naruto turned and punched him in the shoulder. "It's so annoying that you're modest."

"I don't think I've ever had anyone tell me that before," he remarked. "Anyway, you should ask Sakura about _her_ internship last summer when she worked at the capitol building."

"No, let's _not_ talk about that," Sakura said, quickly dismissing what would've been an interesting story. "I'm ready to order some gelato! I've been thinking about it since I woke up at Neji's. Come on, Naruto. I'll show you what flavors they have!"

She grabbed Naruto by the hand and led him to the counter, where there were way too many flavors from which to choose. Sasuke wasn't a big fan of sweets, but he could tolerate them. He'd try Sakura's if he felt inclined.

While they were off sampling different flavors, he checked his phone for messages. There was one from his mother, which he answered right away. She wanted to make sure he was taking proper care of Naruto and wished him a Happy New Year. There was one from Neji about what time they were going out tonight. Not until 10, which gave them plenty of time to go back, take a nap, and figure out what to do for dinner. He kept an eye on Naruto and Sakura, thinking that ever since last night he thought they had a natural chemistry. They laughed a lot when they were together. Objectively, he believed they'd be a good couple. He liked the idea of Sakura with someone who was nice, who could make her laugh, and would treat her well since she didn't always have the best taste in men. Sasuke was still trying to understand why Naruto insisted he'd make a bad boyfriend. There wasn't any habit he had that truly annoyed him; Naruto also tended to put everyone's needs above his own—how could any of that translate into being a difficult person to date?

When they returned to the table, Naruto had a mix of four flavors, and Sakura also had a mix, but with a big scoop of strawberry on top.

"Do you want some?" Sakura asked. "Oh, I bet you don't since I picked strawberry. That's Sasuke's least favorite flavor."

"Eh, it's not my favorite either," Naruto commented. "Do you want to try mine? It's mostly different types of chocolate and some vanilla at the bottom."

Sasuke eyed it and then Naruto as he sucked some off his spoon. "...Fine."

"Alright." He pushed it Sasuke's way. "Should I get you a spoon? We can split it."

"I only want a bite. I'll use yours." Sasuke took the spoon and dug down to the bottom for some of the vanilla. He gave it a taste.

"How is it?" Naruto asked.

"It's good." He pushed it back his way. "Now you're going to have to go to the gym with Neji tomorrow."

"Rude," said Naruto. "Although, yeah. After drinking so much last night I'm gonna need to work out twice as much as usual. I've been slackin' on that this winter, although luckily all the shovelin' I did is its own workout."

"Do you have a big driveway or something?" Sakura asked.

"I do a lot of volunteer work through the church, and sometimes older people have a pretty tough time doin' it for themselves, so… "

"Seriously?" Sakura asked. "That's kind of really adorable. Isn't it, Sasuke?"

"If you say so," he answered her.

"Nah. Sasuke always gets in my way. He comes by when I'm doin' it and throws snowballs at me. Never offers to help either."

"Sasuke, that's terrible!" Sakura exclaimed, licking some gelato from off her lips.

"I'm kidding," said Naruto. "He helped me clean my house before my friends came to visit, and he's been keepin' me company while he's home. It's been nice."

Sasuke flushed at his words and was annoyed when Sakura started staring at him with this strangely gleeful look in her eyes.

"Well that's nice," she said. "That the two of you get along so well. Sasuke doesn't usually warm up so quickly to people, but I can see why he has with you."

"He can't be too bad either," said Naruto, "If he's made friends with you and Neji."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Naruto, were you a suckup in high school?"

"I don't think so," he said. "Why?"

"Naruto just happens to be a _nice_ person," Sakura defended him. "Sasuke's probably not used to that. He has his moments, but he can be a snot, too. Well, so can I, but that's why he and I get along so well, isn't that right?"

"I suppose that's as good a reason as any." Sasuke stole Naruto's cup again and tried some of the chocolate. Naruto gave a whine of protest. "So, how do you feel about going out tonight?"

"To the club?" Sakura asked. "Oh, pretty good. I won't drink as much as last night, but dancing would be fun, especially if Naruto's going, too."

"Me?" Naruto asked. "Why me?"

"When I go with just him and Neji, I always end up feeling like a third wheel if you know what I mean. At least you'll be there to keep me company."

"Ah, I see," said Naruto. "They leave you behind to get it on on the dance floor, huh?"

"We do not _get it on_ on the dance floor," Sasuke muttered. "Besides. You always bring girlfriends with you."

"Yeah, because otherwise I'd be stuck by myself," Sakura argued.

"Damn, though. I wouldn't leave a woman like you alone on the dance floor," said Naruto. "What a waste."

Sasuke glanced at Sakura and smirked when he saw her blush.

"Shut up, Sasuke," she mumbled.

Naruto, who hadn't been paying attention, looked between both of them. "What did he say?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. "So, Sasuke."

"What is it, Sakura?"

"Would you like to see some photos from last night?"

Naruto started choking. "No, wait. Not before I get to see them first. I can't let Sasuke see me in any kind of compromising situations!"

"What?" Sakura laughed. "Why?"

"Because, I'm like his Mr. Miyagi, so I have to come off as well-behaved," Naruto argued, pointing his pink spoon at her.

"My Mr. Miyagi?" Sasuke repeated. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Maybe I should've said Clarence from _It's a Wonderful Life_?"

"Show me," Sasuke said immediately, and Sakura started digging into her oversized purse to find her phone.

"No, Sakura! No, don't do it!" Naruto was all but begging.

"Oh, hush. There's nothing too bad in there, and it's your own fault if you can't remember." Finding her phone, she gave it over to him.

"Sasuke, come on," Naruto pleaded.

"It's amazing you think I'd be the sympathetic type," he replied and began browsing through the photos, which looked to start prior to him leaving.

The photos were of them playing beer pong, a couple with Sakura and Naruto, then Neji and Naruto when they'd teamed up. After that, it was a lot of Naruto talking with people, each time a drink in his hand, and then, like Neji had said, there were a few of Naruto doing some handstands at an angle that made Sasuke have to rotate the phone.

"You really are flexible," he praised as he continued to swipe through the photos.

Then he saw a few with Neji and Naruto standing close to one another, Neji's arm around his waist and whispering something into his ear, or so it looked. If he didn't know any better—from their body language alone—he would've thought they were intimately acquainted.

"He looks serious now," said Naruto. "What am I doing?"

"Making the rounds," he replied dryly. "Ah, and here's you standing on top of the ping pong table."

"What?" Naruto grabbed the phone from out of his hand. "Oh, shit. What the hell was I doing?" He kept swiping. "Okay, well apparently I owe Neji a new ping pong table, so that's awesome."

Sakura laughed at him. "Yeah, that was your attempt at dancing. I think Neji asked if you could dance, and you suggested that—"

"I tried to Riverdance, didn't I?" Naruto shook his head. "Dear God, this is more embarrassing than I thought." He grew pale as he continued to look. "You need to delete that one."

"What? Which one—Oooh. Let's not show that to Sasuke." Sakura took it back from him.

"Wait, what is it? Don't delete it, Sakura." Sasuke tried to reach for it, but she held it away.

"If... yeah. I'm sorry," said Naruto. "I get a little crazy when I drink."

"No, you were the life of the party." Sakura dropped her phone into her purse. "You were very affectionate, too, which I think Neji appreciated."

Naruto still looked embarrassed. "I'll be better behaved tonight."

"Like I said, it didn't bother me any, and Sasuke probably wants a chance to see this side of you, too."

"Sasuke and I have already gone out before… sort of," said Naruto.

"We went on a group dinner," Sasuke clarified. "And one time I met his friends at a bar. I've yet to see him that wasted, so I _am_ slightly jealous and a little annoyed you won't share with me."

"No, because you'll make fun of me." Naruto stuck out his bottom lip. "It's me… taking Neji's clothes off—"

" _What_?" Sasuke asked, interrupting him.

"It's not what you think! We were playin' a game, and I'm, uh, pretty sure it also had to do with the lipstick stains."

"We were playing dress up," Sakura added. "Wait, maybe we were doing a runway show, and Neji volunteered to be our model—"

Sasuke put his hand up. "I get it. No need for an explanation."

"I forgot about that," said Naruto. "Now it makes sense. Why was it on my collar, though?"

"You told Neji he looked hot in women's clothes, so he tried to make out with you… as I recall," Sakura announced meekly.

"Oh." Naruto nodded. "So that happened, okay. Interesting."

"You wouldn't let him kiss you on the mouth, so I think he—"

"We get it, Sakura." Sasuke sighed and rubbed at his temple.

"Don't be mad." Sakura smiled. "It was all just fun."

"I'm not mad," he said. "Naruto and Neji can make out whenever they want."

"I did _not—_ " Naruto started to say but didn't finish his thought. "I can't believe I broke his ping pong table."

"Don't worry about it," said Sasuke. "He's rich and can afford a new one."

"Oh."

"Well, this has been fun," said Sakura. "But, I need to run some errands before we go out, or are we doing dinner first? What are you two doing?"

"I don't know." He looked to Naruto for his opinion. "Do you still need a nap, or do you have someone you want to make out with before we go back to my place?"

"Hilarious." Naruto fake laughed. "I'd like to maybe get in a nap, yeah. Whatever you wanna do."

Sasuke let out a heavy exhale. He wasn't annoyed, he was surprised, really. It made him wonder if maybe Neji was interested in Naruto but didn't want to tell him. Now he understood how the incestuousness of Naruto's friends had come to a head. Maybe Naruto was just a big tease. It was getting hard to keep track of who liked whom and if he should support it or—

"Let's go home for now," he said.

"Okay."

Naruto gathered his and Sakura's trash and walked to the garbage can to throw it away. When he came back, he helped Sakura into her coat. She kissed them both on the cheek, and they walked her as far as her car, which was right outside the shop. On their way to Sasuke's car, there wasn't much conversation. He was thinking, but not about anything specific. He was also kind of tired, though he'd managed to get more sleep than Naruto this morning.

"You're bein' quiet," Naruto told him. "I hope it's not 'cause you think I embarrassed you by bein' a dick in front of your friends last night."

"No." He shook his head. "It's nothing like that. You were only having fun."

"I'm sorry. I didn't really remember most of that, especially the Neji thing."

"It's okay, Naruto. Although, you did say he was flirting. I take it you remember some things."

"I remember even more now," Naruto said. "It wasn't like that, though. It was all friendly."

"You don't need to defend yourself to me." He slipped a hand into one of his coat pockets. "And, if you were interested in Neji, I wouldn't stand in your way. Same with Sakura."

Suddenly, Naruto stopped and grabbed him by the arm.

"I wouldn't do that," Naruto told him seriously. "I know better than that, and even if I was interested enough to do somethin' with either of them, I wouldn't because it'll complicate things for you and between us. I don't want that, and I don't want you to feel left out—"

"I don't. It was my choice to leave, and I don't require so much attention that I'd be put out if you had fun with my friends. It was a bad night for me, that's all. I have those times. It won't be like that tonight."

Naruto nodded. "I have those times, too, so I know."

"Then there's nothing for you to feel bad about… other than the table."

"Yeah, that sucks. Well. Maybe I should ask you to keep an eye on me tonight. I always start out thinkin' I'm not gonna drink too much or do too many stupid things, and then—"

"I'll keep an eye out, don't worry," he said. "Now let's go, so I can put you down for your nap."

* * *

When they returned to the apartment, Naruto crashed, so, in the meantime, Sasuke did some light cleaning before settling in on the couch to watch TV. After an hour, he nearly dozed off himself, but having thought he heard Naruto's voice, he figured the blond had woken up from his nap. Stretching, Sasuke turned off the TV and got to his feet. It was 4.30 according to his watch, so he should ask Naruto what he wanted for dinner.

He approached the bedroom and pushed open the door. On the bed, Naruto looked to still be asleep, which surprised him. He went to the bedside and observed Naruto's deeply furrowed brow. Taking a seat on the edge, and with the intention of pushing Naruto's hair out of his face, reached to tuck a couple of strands behind his ear. But with a startled cry that terrified him, Naruto suddenly awoke, clutched his shirt, and attempted to push him off. Since he seemed in a panic, Sasuke tried to take hold of his arms to keep him in place.

"Naruto!" He shouted as the blond continued to wrestle away from him. "Wake up!"

"Stop it! You're _too—_ " He blinked up at him. "Huh? Sasuke?"

Sasuke used his arm to keep from completely collapsing on top of him. "You had a bad dream?"

Naruto's eyes moved back and forth rapidly. "Yeah… someone was chasing me." He let go of Sasuke's shirt and scuttled back against the wall, breathing heavily. "Sorry…"

"I apologize for startling you," he said, concerned and a little shaken himself. "I guess this is why they say not to wake sleepwalkers."

"It's fine." Naruto pulled his knees to his chest and set his arms on top. He lay his head down. "I didn't mean to freak out on you."

He studied him quietly in the dim light. "Can I get you anything? Water maybe?"

"I could use a drink." Naruto lifted his head. "Ah, but before that, I want my phone." He started to get up but Sasuke raised his hand to stop him.

"I'll get it, you stay here." Sasuke, though reluctant to leave, went to grab Naruto's phone from off its cord in the living room. When he came back, he handed it to Naruto. "Who are you calling?"

Naruto, still be in a daze apparently, stared at the phone as if he didn't know what it was. "Um. Can you just get me a drink. Please? Like, anything with alcohol would be good."

"Okay."

He left Naruto alone and took his time in the kitchen making a drink in case Naruto wanted privacy during his phone call. After five minutes of stalling, he returned with a drink.

"Done with your phone call already?"

"He didn't answer," Naruto replied. "Sai, I mean."

Sasuke walked over and offered Naruto the drink. "It's just whiskey and some ice."

"Heh. That's like an old man's drink." He took it from him, their fingers briefly overlapping. "Thanks."

"Do you want me to go, or…?"

Naruto held the glass with both hands. "Would it be weird if I asked you to sit with me for a while?"

"No," he said. "Not at all."

Sasuke got on the bed, sitting cross-legged next to him, but leaving space between them. "You were having bad dreams on the drive here, too."

"It's probably stress."

"Do you feel stressed being here?"

Naruto frowned. "No… I don't think so. I mean, I was already having some bad dreams before I came here."

"While I was sick?" He remembered Naruto alluding to as much earlier.

"Yeah, but they were about you and not really about me. It's just a dream." He attempted a smile. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

"I would agree except you looked terrified. So, what were you dreaming about?"

Naruto sighed, hunching over his knees and smushing his face into the crook of his arm. Then he sat up again and took another sip of his drink. "Who knows."

"Why call Sai?"

"Habit, I guess," Naruto mumbled. "Figures he wouldn't be around when I need him."

Sasuke raised a brow. "I've never heard you say anything like that about him. Usually you're singing his praises."

"I can be needy, too. I am human." He must've surprised himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a dick there."

"You didn't." Sasuke sighed. "You and your complicated, mysterious backstory."

"What makes you think it's related to that?" Naruto picked his head up and stared.

"Because I dream about Gaara getting his head bashed in all the time," he replied.

"That's terrible." Naruto offered him the glass. "Want some?"

Sasuke meant to refuse but then he took it anyway. "Are you going to be okay?"

Naruto's laughter sounded cynical. "In the scheme of life, you mean?"

"I meant in the short-term." He sipped the whiskey. "I was only coming in to see what you wanted for dinner."

"What do _you_ want?"

Sasuke forced a smile. "Whatever you want."

Naruto squinted. "Why do you look like that? What are you doin' with your face right now?"

Sasuke shook his head. "You're an idiot."

While he was taking another sip, Naruto fell against his side and stayed there. He rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder. "M'tired, Sasuke."

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" He handed Naruto his drink again.

Naruto swirled it around, making the ice clink. "I wanna lay here and do nothing. I wanna pretend nothin' is goin' on outside of your apartment. There's no one else but us, Sasuke, and no one's gonna fuck with us or hurt us or do anything stupid, and no one's gonna ask me to be whatever version of myself they expect me to be, and that way I won't have to disappoint anyone or be disappointed."

"That's… bleak," Sasuke said. "If there's two of us, though, there's plenty of chance to disappoint you or vice versa."

"It'd be pretty hard to disappoint each other with just the two of us, wouldn't it?"

"Wouldn't it get boring?" He asked.

"Probably." Naruto hummed first before asking, "Don't you ever want stuff to just stop?"

"I'm surprised you're asking considering what you suggested after finding me in the cemetery."

"True." Naruto finished the rest of his drink, and Sasuke, taking it from him, set it on the side table. "I didn't really mean in a dark, suicidal kind of way. I just meant… a brief reprieve."

"So, more like a coma," he joked.

"Tch." Naruto slid down into the bed again, rolling onto his side with his back to Sasuke. "I wonder if you have nightmares in a coma?"

"Can I ask you something I hope you won't be offended by?"

"Heh, you're startin' to sound like me when I ask stuff."

"I am… learning. But, if whatever happened still causes you to have issues, are you seeing anyone?"

"What? Like a shrink?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke, frowning, stared at Naruto's back. "Yes."

"Are _you_?"

"I went twice to the clinic on campus, but I didn't think it helped. I remember after going to Gaara's funeral, that my mother asked if I wanted to talk to someone. I was worried about them getting suspicious or if the therapist would tell them what I said, so I… declined."

"It's hard to believe you're so put together after goin' through somethin' like that. Honestly."

"I'm surprised to hear you say I'm 'put together'."

"I mean aside from recent misadventures… you otherwise seem to function pretty well in the real world."

"As do you," said Sasuke. "Except when you don't have to put on a show."

"You think I put on a show?"

"You said as much yourself… that sometimes you have to turn it _on_."

"Perceptive bastard," Naruto muttered. "You're too damn smart for your own good."

Sasuke, mulling over the backhanded compliment, slipped down into the bed and lay on his back, thinking deeply for a while. A few minutes later, Naruto's phone went off, but he didn't seem to want to pick it up.

"You realize that's Sai, right?" Sasuke asked.

"He had his chance," Naruto mumbled. "I was about to fall asleep again, too."

"It's not like Sai and I are best friends, but that's a little cold, don't you think?"

"Did we switch roles?" Naruto asked facetiously. "Or brains? Was there a storm and maybe we got hit by lightning?"

"In order to switch brains, you'd have to have one to begin with," he replied, smirking.

Naruto immediately rolled over, his blue eyes narrowed at him. "You—"

"What?"

Naruto burst into a grin, though it had been apparent he was trying very much not to.

"Can we have pizza tonight?" He asked Sasuke.

"Maybe. After you call Sai and tell him you're fine. I'm sure it worries him if he hears from you and then you don't call him back right away."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Naruto mumbled. "I shouldn't have called him. It was a reflex."

"I know. Especially when you have me here to listen to you and be your bartender."

"Heh." Naruto folded his arm under his head. "Are you saying I should rely on you more?"

"I don't see why not. If anything, I'm at least convenient."I

"Is that what you usually say to Neji before you two do it?" Naruto cracked a grin.

Sasuke rolled over onto his side, facing him. "Why, is that what you said to him last night before the two of you started making out?"

"Apparently I at least said I don't kiss on the mouth."

"That only makes you sound like a prostitute."

"Hey, there were great people in the Bible who also happened to be prostitutes. The entourage Jesus had with him was likely to have included a few hookers. Well, and lepers. Which, of course, is why I hang out with you."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I suppose in this situation you're Jesus?"

Naruto's eyes twinkled, and he leaned in. "I am your savior, aren't I?"

"Is this where I make a comment about getting nailed?"

Naruto burst into laughter. "Ah, Sasuke."

Sasuke stared and knew if he didn't put some space between them, he'd be tempted to lean in more for a kiss. That would be bad though, right? He rolled onto his back again.

"So, you want pizza?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. If that's okay?"

"Delivery, or you want to go somewhere?"

"Delivery. I'm feelin' lazy. Pizza'll give me energy for later. I hope you'll be able to keep up."

Sasuke set a hand on his stomach, tapping his fingers. "My stamina's decent. Plus, I have to get myself ready to hit on you tonight. Since you've bestowed me the special privilege."

"You're such a sarcastic asshole," Naruto said and placed his hand on Sasuke's chest, shaking him.

Sasuke's gaze strayed to him, and when Naruto didn't immediately move his hand, he thought his heart beating faster would go noticed. If Naruto did, he didn't say anything.

"I think I'd die of shock if you actually made a move on me." Naruto lifted his hand and set it between them on the bed. "I like that, though."

Sasuke tilted his head to regard him. "Like what?"

"That you ignore me." Naruto smiled. "Keeps me humble. Even your friends love me."

He had to restrain himself from throwing Naruto through a wall. Sasuke took in an imaginary breath to calm down; otherwise, he remained impassive on the outside.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"You're definitely a natural blond."

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto poked him until Sasuke had no choice but to get out of bed before he clobbered him.

"What do you want on your stupid pizza?"

"Sausage and ham and extra cheese."

"Can I put vegetables on it, too?"

"I suppose. No olives, though. I don't like olives."

"Fair enough. Now, while I go call in the order, you... "

Naruto sat up in the bed, waiting. His hair was tousled and his collar was lopsided again. Sasuke loved and loathed that damn collarbone. Dammit.

"Entertain yourself," he finished. "I need another drink. You're exhausting."

"Well, that's rude. Will you make me a drink while you're in there?"

"Naruto… " Sasuke stood in the doorway with his back to him. "Unlike Sai, I'm not going to be your bitch, so if you want a drink, you better get it yourself."

"Savage, Sasuke. Sheesh." Naruto hopped out of the bed and came over, pushing Sasuke through to the living room. "He's… not my _bitch_."

"Uh huh." Sasuke pushed him when Naruto kept shoving him forward. "Cut it out."

"I never said you were my bitch," Naruto mumbled. "Now stop sassin' me and order my damn pizza, bitch!"

* * *

"You're not wearing that, are you?" Sasuke asked, glowering as Naruto pulled on his orange hat. "And are you going to wear that sweater with that shirt?"

"Okay, we need to have a talk. What the hell do you have against my hat?" Naruto glared. "And what's wrong with this sweater? Why do you sound like Sai right now? Oh, is this what they mean by the gay male stereotype?"

"You're at least half gay, so I don't want to hear it," said Sasuke. "That puts us in the same family. It's too orange, and the sweater makes you look preppy. I'd let you wear it if we were going bowling or too an arcade."

"Wait, what kind of club is this exactly? Because I didn't bring any leather or anything like that. Do I have to dress like you?"

Sasuke looked down at his outfit, which was dark blue jeans and a black Henley. "This is normal. Are you going to a meet up with a study group, or are you going dancing?"

"Fine, you find somethin' for me to wear."

"You can wear that, but I'm confiscating the cardigan and beanie." He ripped off his hat. "I know you have a neutral one somewhere."

"Well now you messed up my hair!" Naruto complained.

"Shut up, you didn't do anything to it to begin with."

"Yeah, but that's the way I like it. I put some gel in it." He scoffed. "I think I look good."

Naruto took off the sweater anyway and tossed it on top of his bag. He did look good in a jeans and a t-shirt, especially since it showed off his muscled arms and tanned skin. Not to mention it hugged his chest snugly without making him look too much like a gym rat.

"Now what's wrong?" Naruto asked. "You're staring at me."

Sasuke's gaze slid upward. "That'll do, but let me fix your hair. Follow me."

He brushed past Naruto, knocking into his shoulder and expecting him to follow into the bathroom, which Naruto did. Sasuke searched through some of his products and, finding an open container of wax, applied it to Naruto's hair, shaping the spikes and slicking them back some.

"You never do much with your hair," Sasuke murmured.

"I do. Sometimes."

Sasuke played with it a little longer. Naruto's hair was soft and easy to style. "There."

He directed Naruto toward the mirror.

"I don't look like I'm trying too hard?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing wrong with looking like you tried anything at all. You look… pretty good."

Sasuke watched their reflections and how Naruto smiled at the compliment. Damn if he didn't look…

"You look good, too," said Naruto before he could finish his thoughts. "But, you always look good. Well, except that time I had to dry your hair for you."

"I'm sure I looked good even then," he said.

"You're so cocky." Naruto turned to him. "How's that workin' out for you?"

Sasuke, feeling playful, put an arm around his waist. "You're here, aren't you?"

Naruto's laughter was low and husky. He did one of those things where he glanced at the floor and then up again at him. It always struck Sasuke as being flirtatious, but he doubted Naruto realized it.

"I guess you did say you'd hit on me tonight," said Naruto. "Is that all you got?"

Sasuke smirked. "The night's just begun. Who knows what's in store?" He removed his arm before Naruto became uncomfortable. "Do you think we're ready? We'll get there earlier than Neji and Sakura, but with your fake ID, I'm sure we can get served."

"You mock it, but damn right I'm gonna get served. Ah, I wanna put on some cologne first, hold on." Naruto left him, and Sasuke followed the idiot into the living room.

He watched as he sprayed on his cologne, the scent hitting him immediately. "I really do like that cologne."

"Yeah, you've mentioned that before." Naruto picked up his jacket and put it on. "I guess I'll wear the gray beanie since I can't wear the one I want to."

"You'll thank me for it later," he said.

"You know. I think you secretly like it. Like, you're jealous of it because it's so awesome. If I can remember where I got it from, I'm gonna get one for you, too."

"Please don't." Sasuke went to retrieve his coat from the closet. He pulled out his wallet to check if he had enough cash. "I wonder if I should stop by the ATM."

"I can spot you some money," said Naruto. "After all, you're providing room and board."

"That's not necessary."

"But you paid for dinner last night."

"Yeah, and I was also an asshole last night, so you don't have to pay for my drinks."

Naruto, walking up to him with a strange expression on his face, put a hand on his shoulder. "I said I forgive you for that. You can stop feeling guilty."

"Do you always easily forgive anyone who does you wrong?"

Naruto pulled his hand away. "...Not always."

"We can go, but let me grab the pizza box so I can toss it on the way out. I don't want the apartment smelling like pizza all night."

"Really? I love the smell of pizza."

"You won't if you come back as drunk as you were last night," he said, grabbing the box. Naruto had devoured most of it.

"You're keepin' an eye on me, so I'll be alright."

"I'll be making sure you won't go home with any strangers… or Neji at least. Unless, of course, you want to…?"

"Shut up. I don't wanna hear that from you. I already know you two are gonna be all over each other."

"Now you almost sound jealous," he remarked coyly. "Open the door for me?"

"Sure, yeah." Naruto rushed over to open the screen door. "You have your keys?"

"I do." He opened the other door and waited for Naruto to come out. "Hold this while I lock it."

"Hmm. So assertive." Naruto smiled, watching him as he locked the door.

Sasuke tried to take it back, but Naruto wouldn't let him.

"I can handle it," he told Sasuke.

"Thanks then." On the way, there was a recycling bin, so Naruto dumped it in there.

Outside, there were a few snowflakes falling. The moon was full and bright, too.

"It's nice out," said Naruto. "For bein' so cold."

"It's not _that_ cold."

"You always have to argue with me on everything."

"Not _everything_ ," he replied, smirking.

"Bastard." Naruto thwacked him, and he allowed it.

Walking to the car, Sasuke was left to his thoughts while Naruto remained uncharacteristically quiet, even until they were inside and he turned the heat up. He changed the radio station to his preferred one. As he backed out of his parking spot, Naruto was staring out the window.

"Sasuke, if I haven't already said so, thanks again for gettin' me out of town. I think I woulda gone crazy bein' left alone there, and if you were gone too, it would've been really bad."

Sasuke regarded him seriously for a moment. "You remember that it's less than three weeks before I'm back here permanently, right?"

"I know. It was more just… I'm thankful. Actually, I'm thankful we met at all. When we first met, and you were helpin' me with the pew, I sorta thought I'd never see you again. I didn't really think about you again until we ran into each other in the bathroom on Christmas Eve."

"Why are you telling me this?" He turned onto the main road, heading downtown.

"No reason… just sharing some feelings I was havin'."

"Okay. You alright?"

"Yeah. Of course. Goin' out with everyone will be fun. I'm lookin' forward to it."

Sasuke was, as well. He felt way more relaxed than last night. He also wanted to have a good time. Naruto fit in well with his friends, and while it surprised him at first, it was obviously a positive thing. He didn't flatter himself this an opportunity to get closer to Naruto, but a part of him hoped that… well, he wouldn't get ahead of himself. He also wanted to see if he could steal Sakura's phone and sneak a peek at those photos neither of them wanted him to see.

"You gonna dance with me?" Naruto asked. "Or will that make me seem too easy?"

"After a few drinks, I won't care who I dance with. Sakura isn't likely to drink much, so I'm sure she can drive us home if necessary."

"That's not very nice. I can dance. I'm not awful at it. I've gone out with Sai plenty of times even if he claims to hate it. He's taught me well."

"I bet he has." Sasuke looked at him; Naruto looked back and rolled his eyes. "That's what I thought."

"I can't help it if men _and_ women think I'm sexy, Sasuke. It's God's gift to me for bein' so awesome."

"I wonder if it's truly a gift?" He asked under his breath.

"I don't care," said Naruto. "I thought this was my coming out party? So, why does it matter?"

"That was only a joke."

"Eh. Nothin' wrong with bein' bi. Might as well own it."

"How very progressive. Alright then. I'll be standing there when you announce it to Neji and Sakura." The idea was amusing. "I wonder what their expressions will be."

"Probably ones of joy, and then we'll dance together, and it'll be hot."

"I agree. That would be hot," he said. "I'll be there taking a video of it."

"Or you could join in. I know you're no prude. Have some fun for once. Let go."

"That could be dangerous." Sasuke pressed his teeth into his bottom lip.

"Why?"

"I might forget you're an idiot for a second and suddenly find you attractive under the influence of all that alcohol. Then what would you do?"

"Guess we won't know until it happens." Naruto sounded too serious for it to be a joke.

Sasuke glanced at him but didn't say anything. He was left to wonder about the possibilities of what _could_ happen, even if it was simply the opportunity to touch Naruto under the guise of dancing. Then again, he kept seeing Naruto's face after his nightmare earlier. It was troubling to have these mixed emotions, knowing he was attracted to Naruto and also knowing he cared about him as a friend. He wanted to get closer, but at the same time, he didn't want to hurt him or ruin what they had. He would at least keep his promise about making sure he stayed out of trouble. After last night, it was the least he could do.

* * *

When he and Naruto arrived at the club, it was early enough that they wouldn't have to pay a cover. While Naruto ordered them some drinks, Sasuke got up to go to the bathroom (he also didn't feel like showing his ID). He'd heard from Neji and Sakura, who should be arriving in 20 minutes. Then again, they both tended to run late. After he returned, he found Naruto at the end of the bar, sitting away from the other patrons, which made it possible to hear each other.

"Scaredy cat," Naruto said as soon as he sat down. "Here's your drink, princess."

Sasuke glared, taking it from him. "Aren't you supposed to be a model of Christianity?"

"What's important is bein' able to learn and grow from your mistakes, Sasuke. I'm still young, so I have time to make mistakes and act my age. I've known some other children of pastors, and a few are straight-laced, but most of them are like me… maybe worse. I'm fairly well-behaved in comparison."

"Are you? Then maybe I should reward you with treats more often."

"I guess in the scheme of things, I'm kinda progressive… sex seems natural for people our age, but I try to, uh, not always give in to my baser instincts if I can help it. Mostly I'm concerned with treating others how I'd like to be treated, doing good things for others… livin' a life that I can be proud of. One without regrets, you know? What kind of life would you like to lead?"

Sasuke was about to take a drink but paused at Naruto's question. Had anyone ever asked him that before? He didn't think so.

"I… don't know."

Naruto, his elbow on the bar, leaned in toward him. "Well, what are some things you want to do? What do you wanna do with your degree? Where do you wanna go after college, what kind of job do you want? What would make you happy?"

"You're starting to sound like a therapist," he remarked. "Actually, isn't this the kind of conversation you have on a first date?"

Naruto drank from his murky-looking cocktail. "If that's how you wanna think of it, though we've been out before… I'm fine with that, but I really would like to hear your answers to my questions."

Sasuke flushed a little but tried to hide his embarrassment. "I'd say doing graphic design at an agency would be okay, preferably in a big city. Or, doing illustrations. I don't know how much I love marketing, though I've taken classes. Personally, I'd like to travel more. I've been thinking about applying to study abroad."

"Really?" Naruto asked with great interest. "Where would you go?"

"Europe somewhere. Anywhere is fine so long as it means I can get out of here for a while."

"Just for a semester or—"

"Why?" He smirked. "Would you miss me?"

"Tch. I can manage so long as you're happy." Naruto smiled at him and then laughed.

It almost slipped out how much he loved Naruto's laugh, but he caught himself before it left his lips. That would've been bad. He smelled good, too.

"What about you, Naruto?" He leaned away, giving himself some space. "What do you want?"

"Me?" The blond swirled his drink. "Hmm… good question."

"You haven't thought about it? You said once that you thought your dad wanted you to follow in his footsteps, but you didn't seem too excited about it."

"Ah, that." Naruto scratched his cheek. "I'm not against it. I like the work, I like helpin' people. I'm not sure I'm pious enough to be preachin' to anyone on how to live their lives, though. I like teaching Sunday School. Teaching might be interesting, but it feels too serious."

"Why not a music teacher?" He suggested. "Or, in the art program here, there's art therapy. Usually that's using art for cancer patients, but I imagine you can use music as a form of therapy, as well? Didn't you say you were in a similar program as a kid?"

Naruto's expression became thoughtful. "It's not a bad idea… but it would be emotionally exhausting. Probably more so than what I do now."

"You don't seem like the type to run from a challenge." Without meaning to, he leaned in again, turning on the stool so that his knee brushed Naruto's leg. "What about dating? When you go back, will you give the girls or boys in town a chance?"

"Heh. Would I have time for that?"

"Not to mention there's Sai. And Ino."

"Not much I can do when they live in California."

"If you don't like long-distance relationships, I guess that means I'm out of the running, too." Shit, how did that slip out?

"I swear it sounds like you're flirting with me right now," Naruto replied. "Then again, I know better, so I'm sure you're mockin' me."

Sasuke could've responded, but he didn't. He wasn't sure if he wanted Naruto to consider the idea. After all, it was true he'd be going back to school permanently, which complicated things.

"No matter what you think of my sense of humor," he said carefully. "I do think you have a lot of rather unique qualities, Naruto. So, I hope you won't continue to be hard on yourself. You've taken care of me up to this point. I don't know what you're afraid of exactly, but I hope you won't deny yourself companionship. You'll be a good match for someone someday."

Glancing up from his drink, Naruto looked at him a long while, and Sasuke maintained his gaze.

"Do you want another?" Naruto asked, his eyes so very bright, clear, and perceptive that he became flustered again.

"...Sure."

Nodding, Naruto grabbed his glass. "I'll get it for you. It'll be quicker if I head to the other end of the bar. Don't go anywhere."

"Alright." He watched Naruto walk away, his body warming up all over.

What was that? What was that _look_? How the _hell_ was he going to make it through this night without acting on some hormonal impulse? If Naruto appeared receptive to it, should he try? He kept getting these signals, but he wasn't confident at all. Naruto could be hard to read even at the best of times. Maybe he should wait for a clearer sign, like Naruto throwing himself at him.

Or, just get drunk enough he'd finally have the balls to do something about it for once.

* * *

Two more drinks later, and they were still talking, Naruto pulled up close to his side. He thought the blond was tipsy, but maybe he was imagining it. Obviously Naruto would be a pro at holding his liquor, though he'd also drank at the apartment, too. The club was finally beginning to fill up. The DJ had started playing a variation of hip-hop and pop. It was a small crowd dancing so far, and it was becoming harder to hear unless they were practically on top of each other. Naruto was laughing about something Sasuke had said and, just then, he felt a hand on his back.

"You two look like you're having fun." Neji was standing behind them.

"Neji, what's up?" Naruto held up his hand, and Neji, appearing amused, gave him a high-five.

"Is he drunk already?" Neji asked.

"I'm not drunk! I'm just in a good mood."

Neji glanced at him. "Sasuke's doing a good job of entertaining you then?"

"He is." Naruto wore a big smile. "Where's Sakura?"

"I'm here!" Sakura squeezed her way through some people lining up behind the bar stools. "It's already this crowded? Are people coming back from break already? That's unusual."

"You look nice," Naruto said to her.

She wore light-colored skinny jeans, heels, a sequined halter top, and her hair was in a ponytail full of loose curls. Of course Naruto's eyes twinkled as he checked her out.

"You, too, Neji." Naruto grinned at the other man. "In case you were feelin' left out. By the way, sorry about your ping pong table."

"It was worth it considering the show you put on," said Neji. "I think I'll go order myself and Sakura a drink. Would you two like another?"

"That's okay," Naruto replied. "I'm trying to pace myself."

"Sasuke?" Neji asked him.

"I'll have another. Thanks."

"Sasuke, squeeze over." Sakura, going to his other side, tried to make room for herself, which meant nearly violently shoving him into Naruto.

"Would you like my seat?" He asked sarcastically.

"Nope, this is fine." She leaned across his lap to address Naruto. "What are you drinking?"

"Oh, this? It's a Rusty Nail."

"What's that?"

"Whiskey," he answered. "Want to try?"

"May I?"

"Sure." He handed it to her. She took one sip and made a face. "I prefer something sweeter."

"I would've guessed that after this afternoon," Naruto commented flirtatiously.

"Are you sure you don't want my seat?" Sasuke murmured near the pink-haired girl's ear.

"Sasuke," she said quietly so only he could hear. "We're on your side tonight." Sakura nudged him. "So, you better not waste it, and you better not act like an ass."

"What are you two talkin' about? I can't hear anything," said Naruto.

"I was trying to figure out if Sasuke was interested in dancing yet," Sakura shouted. "He has to warm up before he'll go. Unless he's _hammered_. Then it's definitely easier."

"I've yet to see Sasuke hammered." Naruto nudged him with an elbow.

"I drank last night," he said. "But, no… unfortunately I wasn't 'hammered'."

"Water under the bridge," Naruto told him. "We were havin' a good time, don't turn all dark on me."

Neji reappeared, trying to carry three drinks. Naruto immediately grabbed one to help him out and set it on the bar. Sakura took hers, and Sasuke's was the one Naruto had stolen.

"That was meant to be mine," Sasuke said. "You're pacing yourself, remember?"

"I only wanted to taste it. You never know if Neji tried to put somethin' in it."

Neji smacked the blond on the back of the head. "As if I'd need to do that. Then again, you're the one he's going home with, so maybe I'd be doing you a favor."

Naruto, mid-sip, started choking so hard Neji had to slap him on the back. Sasuke, half-mortified, was at least amused by Naruto's reaction.

"You weren't so easily embarrassed last night, Naruto," Neji remarked. "Why so shy?"

"I wasn't expectin' that is all," Naruto replied, wiping his mouth before pushing the glass Sasuke's way.

It was beginning to feel cramped with the four of them crowded around two stools. He was practically on Naruto's stool at this point, their legs and shoulders jammed together.

"You okay?" Sasuke, turning to him, asked.

"Heh. It's cozy." Naruto smiled. "We've already had some close encounters, so it's nothin' new."

"I have a feeling my friends are going to be difficult tonight."

"Oh, why's that?" Naruto tilted his head, smiling still.

So oblivious he could cry. He drank from his glass.

"Sasuke, I'm ready to dance!" Sakura shrilly announced right into his ear. "As soon as I finish this, I'm going to go, ready or not."

"I'm not stopping you," he said. "Why don't you take Naruto?"

She huffed. "Why don't _you_ take Naruto?"

"Because I have half a drink left, and I can tell Naruto's in need of expelling some of his energy."

"I can take him," said Neji.

"I can't tell if you guys wanna dance with me or you're tryin' to pawn me off on each other," Naruto commented.

Sakura, throwing back her drink, slammed the glass on the bar. "Ugh, you men, I swear. Let's go, Naruto. They'll join us later." She shoved at Sasuke until he was able to give her room enough for her to stand, and, also pushing Neji aside, she took Naruto by the arm. "Come on."

He and Neji watched as Naruto was dragged to the dance floor, looking more confused than anything. They disappeared into the crowd, Sasuke following their backs with his eyes until he couldn't pick them out anymore.

"That was your chance," Neji told him, taking Naruto's seat. "Why are you holding back?"

"You're assuming I'm interested?"

"Yes. I am. How did it go today?"

"I took him around campus, as I'm sure Sakura already told you. We met her for gelato, he and I went to my place. Naruto fell asleep, we had pizza, and now here we are."

"What about when he got home last night. What happened?"

Sasuke sighed, moving his glass in a circle. "He was pissed off at me. But, he spent most of his time throwing up in the bathroom."

"Then?"

"What do you mean 'then?'?"

"I mean," Neji said, leaning in, "How did it conclude before the two of you ended up in bed together? I'm not asking because I'm nosy, I'm asking because I want to help you."

"Help me?"

"You like Naruto, but for some reason, you're trying to convince Sakura and I that you don't. The two of you seemed to be getting along rather intimately when we came up to you. So, I'm curious if there's a reason you aren't pursuing him. There's no way you can convince me he's 100% straight after last night."

"Speaking of," Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "Apparently Sakura has compromising photos of you and Naruto. Interesting you want to push me toward him when you seem to have interest yourself."

"Are you… jealous?" Neji smirked. "I was drunk, he's attractive and sexy and fun to be around. What would you expect? If you hadn't thrown a tantrum, we could've switched places."

"I didn't—" He pushed his empty glass away in disgust. "Why are you pushing me?"

"Someone has to. So, is there a reason you're not even trying?"

"Because."

"Because… why?" Neji slipped an arm around his waist. "You can tell me. I do want you to be happy. I consider you a friend, Sasuke. Let me help you."

"What's the point if I'm here, and he's there? His father's a pastor, and he works at a church. My parents could find out, and—"

"And? There's _more_?"

"He… still seems attached to an ex. I'm not sure there's any place for me in that situation. He's not shown interest in me that way either, and I've only shown him my worst sides."

"He must not mind if, after seeing the worst you have to offer, he's still by your side."

"Did I mention he works in a church? That's what he does. He puts up with bullshit because he feels obligated to." Sasuke stole Neji's drink from his hand. "Give me this."

"Don't get upset," said Neji. "We're only talking. I'd like for Sakura and I to be able to… assist you tonight… if you're willing to let us."

"Assist me? How? This sounds like we're in junior high."

"If you would do it on your own, we wouldn't have to scheme," Neji replied calmly. "If he doesn't respond tonight, then you have your answer. If he does, maybe there's hope yet?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I don't know about this."

"Trust me." Neji nudged Sasuke's jaw with his nose. "Have I ever lied to you?"

"No, you haven't." He grabbed Neji's hand and removed the man's arm from around his waist. "Fine then. What is it you suggest I do?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Neji got to his feet, taking hold of his hand. "We're going to dance."

* * *

Sasuke was reluctant at first, but he ended up letting himself be led to the dance floor. A few drinks were enough to get him out there, and he felt comfortable around Neji. Almost as soon as they found an area where they might be able to dance, the crowd was shoving them so close he didn't have much choice other than to put his arms around Neji's neck. In the back of his mind, it was aggravating to imagine Naruto and Sakura dancing like this. They wouldn't have had a choice, really. There must've been about 50 people on the floor, and it was _not_ a big space. Yet, it's not as if he hadn't had the opportunity. A pop-reggae song playing in the background, Neji set a hand on his right hip and brought their bodies together. The older man smiled, but Sasuke remained suspicious. However, having known each other for years, it was easy to fall into a familiar rhythm—his hips swaying in time with Neji's. Out of habit, there was a heat that began to pool in his stomach, and, once again, he was reminded of how long it had been since he'd had sex.

Neji leaned into him, smoothly speaking next to his ear. "You're thinking too much. Relax."

Sasuke frowned at the remark, and tired of seeing Neji's smirking face, turned around. Apparently not offended by the sleight, Neji grabbed him by the waist. He placed an arm around Sasuke's chest, rubbing up on him from behind—which is when he caught a glimpse of pink and blond hair all three feet away from them. The lights flashed chaotically, but in those brief milliseconds of visibility, there was a moment his and Naruto's eyes met. The blond had been smiling, laughing with Sakura, but when he saw the two of them, the smile slipped.

"Ah, there they are," Neji said and set his chin on Sasuke's shoulder, seeing what he saw, no doubt. "Should we switch?"

"Shut up."

With his gaze still trained on the pair, he noticed when they split and Sakura walked away (To the bathroom? To get a drink?). Naruto stood alone, watching her go, and Sasuke figured he'd retreat to the bar. But, then Neji gave him a push.

"Go for it," he told Sasuke, and, after a second shove, sent him stumbling toward Naruto.

Sasuke accidentally bumped into a few other dancers along the way, and surely Naruto had just witnessed Neji's assault on him because when they were face to face, the blond appeared utterly confused. Except. Then, he smiled. And laughed. So, Sasuke scowled at him. It wasn't _that_ funny.

"Sakura went to the bathroom," Naruto explained. "What's up? Neji didn't like your dancing?"

"Please, he loved it." Sasuke glanced behind, but Neji was already gone. He looked back at Naruto. "Well?"

Naruto, smiling still, bit his lip. "Alright."

He stepped in front of Sasuke, put a hand on his chest, and pushed him a step backward to where there was space enough for two people to dance. Sasuke watched the expression on his face with interest—confident, playful… dare he say it... _sexy_. Who would move first seemed significant, and yet, he couldn't get himself to do anything. He was so mesmerized by the look he was receiving that when Naruto's hand went from clutching his shirt to sliding down his side and settling at his waist… _ah, shit_. Whatever Naruto saw in his expression caused him to smirk. He gave Sasuke's belt a tug and forced him to move with the beat. Tentatively almost, Sasuke touched his shoulder, squeezed it, and let it slide down the length of Naruto's arm, where he took the blond's hand in his and placed it at his hip. If there was distance between their bodies before, there wasn't now. Sasuke pressed flush to Naruto's hard body and wrapped both arms around his neck. He smiled against Naruto's jaw as their proximity set his skin afire, especially when he caught the scent of his cologne. Not so surprisingly, Naruto was cool, calm, and entirely in control. He moved Sasuke around like he'd done this a million times. There was no trace of embarrassment or hesitation at all. A different song started to play, something with a slower beat, and it gave their bodies a chance to push together for a longer period of time. But, when it picked up again, he felt one of Naruto's hands slide around to his back, slightly lifting his shirt. There was at least one finger touching his hot skin...

"Naruto," he said, wondering if Naruto could even hear him.

But, Naruto tilted his head to regard him, his eyes as clear and perceptive as before.

Sasuke wanted to kiss him so badly except he was terrified. Terrified to lose what had come to mean something significant to him. Ah, but his body was betraying him! He dropped his arms to Naruto's waist and shut his eyes when Naruto moved his hand low for a second, only to travel up under his shirt to touch the small of his back. He let out a slight hiss through his teeth. Before he could ask Naruto anything with his eyes, he pressed them both flush again. Their cheeks were almost touching. Naruto's nose just barely brushed his jaw, his cheek...

"You're better than I expected," Naruto said in his ear. "Have you had a lot of _practice_?"

Sasuke placed a hand between them, creating space to be able to look him in the eye. "Have you?"

Naruto's eyes widened. He offered Sasuke only a sly smile. Sadly, his hand slipped free from under his shirt, came around to his front, and settled on his chest.

"So, who's gonna turn around first?" Naruto smirked.

"Don't tease." He covered the hand clutching at his shirt. "You'll give me mixed signals. Even if you've been drinking."

"We're both havin' fun, aren't we?"

"Depends on what you mean by _fun_ ," he replied, tugging at Naruto's collar so he could drag his finger across the bone.

"You turn around for Neji, but you won't turn around for me?"

Sasuke raised his gaze. "Okay, now that just sounds like a come on."

Naruto chuckled. It made the hair at the back of his neck stand on end. Every time he felt Naruto's breath on his skin, it was hard not to imagine what it could be like if neither of them were clothed. The blond's body was so firm; he wanted to run his hands all over him.

"You turn around, Naruto," he said. "If you think you can give up control that long."

"Me?" Naruto eyed him contemplatively, and after licking his bottom lip, nodded slowly. "Alright."

He turned in Sasuke's arms, and it took half a second before Sasuke jumped on the opportunity. He wrapped an arm around him, and so as to not be too obvious, he only moved Naruto side to side, without direct contact. However, the second he touched his nose to the base of the blond's neck and sniffed, it was impossible not to press up against him from behind.

"Is this… okay?" He asked in Naruto's ear.

Sasuke thought Naruto nodded, but his instinct told him something was off, so he turned him around again. They stopped dancing. There was a strange look on Naruto's face. Sasuke took hold of his arms and gave him a slight shake.

He appeared to snap out of it. "Sorry… I… "

"It's okay. It's getting hot. Let's go get some air, hm?"

Sasuke took him by the hand and led the way through the crowd. Naruto stayed close. It was easy to get overheated in a place this small with that many bodies, and Naruto hadn't exactly been in the best condition this morning. Not that he liked the idea of Naruto feeling unwell, but he preferred that be the case rather than him fucking up just now by doing something Naruto didn't want as much as he did.

* * *

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

a/n: Thanks to the folks who've recently sent Starbuck's e-cards (Sheena, Louise, EmpireWarren). Also, Epilogue A of Break Free is now out of stock; Epilogue B is still available. Visit profile for info.

 **Warning:** If you're easily upset by discussions of a sensitive nature, be advised.

* * *

It was chilly outside, but it felt good after being in that cramped, hot space. There were people smoking near the entrance, so they walked around the corner of the building to have some privacy. Naruto leaned against the brick wall, touching his hand to his cheek.

"I got a little dizzy," he said.

"Do you need to sit? Should I get you some water, or your coat?"

"Heh." He waved a hand at him. "I'll be fine, but thanks."

"Maybe we shouldn't have tried going out again considering you spent two hours throwing up this morning."

"It was probably longer than that." Naruto let out a sigh and slid to the ground, holding his knees to his chest. "If only I had that cardigan you wouldn't let me wear."

"Ah." He cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"I was kiddin'. I'll go in soon, I promise. It feels good right now. Sit?" Naruto glanced up at him. "Or will that get your clothes dirty?"

"Tch." He sat next to the blond, his legs crossed underneath him. "Just when it was getting good, too."

Naruto snorted. "I can't believe you just said that."

"Breaking the ice." He smiled, and they shared a – what he felt to be – a meaningful look. "I didn't do anything wrong, did I? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It wasn't you," Naruto said immediately. "Don't worry about that."

"Hm." He didn't believe him, but he wasn't going to argue either.

"I _have_ danced with guys before, Sasuke. You're not my first time."

"Tell me about it," he mumbled out of the side of his mouth.

Suddenly, Naruto leaned against him, setting his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"What's up?" He asked, his voice gentle as he turned his head, lips a breath away from the blond tips of Naruto's hair.

"Remember that mood you were in last night?" Naruto asked. "I think you passed it on to me."

"You're upset that I get along so well with my friends?"

"Heh." Naruto's laughter caused both of their bodies to shake.

"Is this about what you told me earlier? Are you feeling overwhelmed?"

"Maybe." He sounded like he was sucking on his lip.

"Want me to take you home?"

"Dunno." Naruto hummed quietly.

When he noticed the goosebumps on Naruto's arms, he decided they should go back inside.

"We should go in, Naruto."

"...But, you're warm."

"You're being especially needy tonight." He was teasing, but he liked this, and had Sasuke been in the position to, he would've put an arm around Naruto's shoulders.

"So?"

"I'm not saying it's a problem… but, you're only in a t-shirt–"

"Whose fault is that?"

"Yes, yes. I know. All the more reason I need to bring you inside. So that I don't get you sick."

"As long as you admit this is your fault," Naruto said.

He leaned away from Sasuke and got to his feet,the soles of his shoes momentarily scratching against the cold concrete. Sasuke looked up at him, trying to read his expression in the moonlight. There was something on his mind, but it was hardly the time or place to press him. If Naruto was denying it, that meant he didn't want to talk about it either.

The blond held out a hand, so Sasuke took it and let himself be pulled up.

"How about we stay another hour or so, and then… can we go back?" Naruto asked it in such a way that he must've thought Sasuke would be disappointed about leaving. Hardly.

"Whatever you want to do is fine. You seemed more excited about this than me."

"I'd stay longer if you wanted to," Naruto said.

Sasuke sighed. "This is starting to sound like a conversation couple's have."

"Oh. Hm. Sorry."

"That's hardly worth apologizing over." He placed his hand on Naruto's back and forced him to move in the direction of the entrance. "Let's see if we can find Neji and Sakura. They can watch you while I get you a glass of water."

"You're a lot better at taking care of a person than I thought you'd be," Naruto murmured while walking beside him.

"Thanks?"

"It's just that, you know, the first few days we knew each other–"

"Like you," he interrupted, knowing what he was about to say. "I have bad days, too. Not even that often. Maybe a few a year, and you happened to be there for all of them."

"Ah, is that so?" Naruto asked, smiling crookedly. "I _was_ startin' to wonder. Although, last night you regressed and became a dick again, but today – "

"Today?" He asked, opening the door for him.

"Today you're…" Naruto stopped right in front of him. "Different."

"Maybe you're just seeing me differently?" Sasuke smirked.

He meant it as more of a joke to ease the tension, but the blond man cocked his head to the side as if considering what he'd said seriously.

"Maybe," Naruto replied quietly before heading inside.

Sasuke, struck dumb for about 10 seconds, wasn't sure how to immediately process that, but never one to get ahead of himself, he let go of the door and followed Naruto toward the bar.

* * *

They stayed another hour and a half before finally leaving, and it was mostly at Sasuke's insistence. Naruto, likely, would've stayed longer for the benefit of Sakura and Neji, but he went ahead and made the executive decision. Not only did the blond look tired, but it was like his mind was elsewhere most of the time. He also hadn't ordered a drink in the past 30 minutes, so something must have been up. Before they left, they did all dance some more–Sasuke with Sakura a couple of times, Naruto with Sakura and Neji. At one point, Sakura expressed concern about Naruto, but Sasuke answered he thought the blond hadn't completely recovered from last night, which wasn't exactly a lie. They – he and Naruto – danced again, but Sasuke made sure to keep ample space between them since he was paranoid about earlier.

Because he'd only had two drinks tonight, Sasuke thought it okay to drive them home instead of asking Sakura. Although his friends were disappointed when they left, they appeared to be under the assumption that it was a good thing (for Sasuke).

Halfway through the drive to his apartment, Naruto fell asleep, just like he had on the trip up here. He was leaning against the window, snoring softly while old rock music played from the radio. When they arrived in the parking lot, Sasuke had to shake him awake.

"Hey," he said. "We're here."

"Wow, I fell asleep?" Naruto sat up, wiping away the drool from the corner of his mouth.

"You must be more tired than you realized."

"I should've taken a longer nap."

"Probably hard to do when you're having bad dreams," he said.

"Yeah." Naruto rubbed the sleep out of his eye, looked out his window, and then back at him. He appeared a little out of sorts, but Sasuke figured he might just be deliriously tired.

"Let's go inside. You can take a shower and go to sleep. If you want, you can have my bed, and I'll take the couch."

"That's not necessary," said Naruto.

"I put all that effort into making up the couch, and you didn't even sleep in it."

"Yeah, well…"

"What's up with you?" He unsnapped his seatbelt, wondering if it wasn't that Naruto was upset, but maybe more that he really was sick. "Maybe I gave you my cold?"

"Maybe."

"Naruto."

"Hm?" Naruto'd been staring off again.

He thought about asking him what was going on, but didn't want to be nosy.

Instead, he asked. "Did you ever call Sai back?"

"No." Naruto looked a little guilty. "And I'm fine. Let's go. I'll feel better after a shower. The whole reason I wanted to get away was to relax, right? So, let's relax."

"That's fine with me. I'd rather sit and watch TV than get bumped around by a bunch of strangers."

They got out of the car and headed in silence toward the entrance. Sasuke, after punching in the code, held the door open for Naruto. The blond remained pensively quiet as they made their way to his apartment. Sasuke kept the screen door open with his foot while unlocking the other door. Once inside, he flipped on the lights, happy to note the pizza smell had mostly disappeared. Taking off his coat, Sasuke hung his in the closet; Naruto dumped his jacket on the couch and started rifling through his duffel bag for pajamas. He set them into a somewhat neat pile and, afterward, plugged the charger cord into his phone.

"Do you want me to make you some tea for when you're out?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto turned around. "Would you?"

"Of course."

He watched Naruto play with his phone a little longer before he headed for the bathroom. Sasuke must've stood there a few minutes, simply thinking. It wasn't until he heard the shower turn on that he snapped out of it and went to put the kettle on for Naruto's tea.

* * *

While he was waiting, Sasuke reheated a slice of leftover pizza and efficiently set about making Naruto's tea, which he knew the blond liked with a disgusting amount of sugar. He brought the tea into the living room and left it to steep on the coffee table. Just as he set the mug down, Naruto's phone started to ring. The ID showed that it was Sai. He almost felt bad for the other man and probably would've answered the phone to let him know Naruto was still alive, but he knew it was better for Naruto to be the one to pick up. After he heard the microwave timer go off, Sasuke went to retrieve his pizza and one of the bottled waters his mother packed for them. He returned to the living room, took a seat on the couch, and flipped on the TV.

It was a few minutes later that he heard the shower turn off and another few minutes before Naruto came out, dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

"Tea's ready, your majesty," said Sasuke without looking away from the TV. "By the way, Sai called."

"You didn't pick up, did you?" Naruto asked anxiously.

"No, not this time. If he calls again, I may, though."

"He's only gonna start a fight. I'm not in the mood."

"Suit yourself." It's not like it truly mattered to him. "Sit. Drink your tea before it gets cold."

Naruto walked over to the other side and sat next to him, checking his phone first before picking up the tea and sipping at it. "Hey, there's no sugar."

"You can put your own sugar in. I won't be responsible for you developing diabetes."

"That's not how you develop diabetes," Naruto mumbled. "It's fine. I've got a headache. Sugar might make it worse."

"Headache?" He eyed him with concern. "Do you want something?"

"I already raided your medicine cabinet. Hopefully it won't turn into a migraine."

"You get those?" Sasuke set his half-eaten slice of pizza on the table.

"Sometimes. Are you not gonna eat the rest of that?" Naruto asked.

"You realize there's more in the fridge."

"But if you're not gonna eat it, I might as well finish it."

"Fine."

Naruto gladly picked it up and ate the rest. "The crust is the best part. So wasteful. What are you watchin'? I hope not more news."

"No. I was only flipping the channels and saw that _Milk_ was on."

"Ah, good movie, but so depressing. Isn't anything else on?"

"You can change the channel if you want."

"I'm surprised you wanna watch somethin' like this?" Naruto reached for the remote.

"Why?"

"Gay man shot to death and guy who kills him serves five years because his attorney argued he was addicted to Twinkies?"

"I wonder if that's only _slightly_ better than your own father bashing your skull in." Sasuke frowned at the TV screen.

Naruto changed the channel. "I don't even know how to respond to that, but yours _is_ the most horrendous story I've ever heard."

"So." Sasuke glanced at him. "What's yours?"

"Seriously?" Naruto laughed, thinking he was kidding.

But Sasuke wasn't laughing. Over the past few days he'd thought Naruto was acting odd, and there was never going to be a "good" time to talk about it. There were the bad dreams, the issues with Sai, last night at the church, and at the club tonight (among other things).

Naruto started playing with the remote. "...It's not like I haven't thought about telling you. It'd be good… you know… if when I get all weird, maybe you'd understand where I was comin' from. But I really don't wanna make things awkward either."

"Awkward? For me or you?" He grabbed the remote from Naruto's hand and turned the TV off.

Naruto brought his legs onto the couch and folded his legs beneath him. "Both? I'll feel awkward as hell tellin' you the whole story, and I can't see how it wouldn't make _you_ feel awkward."

Sasuke could tell he was getting nervous. "Did you feel awkward when I told you about Gaara?"

"No." Naruto shook his head. "Not at all." He let out a couple of sighs in a row before setting his elbows on his knees. "Can I have wine first?"

"You can have tea," Sasuke replied. "Again. You don't have to tell me anything."

"I can… I – "

Naruto's phone went off again, loud and persistent, and totally spoiling the moment.

"Answer it," said Sasuke. "Or else he'll call all damn night."

"Fine, sorry. Gimme a sec." Naruto picked up his phone, unplugged it, and retreated to the bedroom, where he shut the door behind him.

Perhaps it was a sign they shouldn't talk about it. In the beginning, he'd felt he _needed_ to know about Naruto's past, maybe even that he deserved to know for having shared _his_ gruesome story. That's why it was difficult to argue with what Naruto had said to him last night. However, it was starting to feel different between them since this morning, when Naruto had come into his bedroom. It was as if the only way he could help Naruto was to know his story. It's not as if he didn't care about him. In fact, he _wanted_ Naruto to be comfortable with him in the same way he perceived him to be with Sai (but with less the fighting preferably).

While mulling this all over and finishing his tea, he heard Naruto raise his voice a few times. He'd thought Sai was clingy or at least still hung up on Naruto, but he hoped their relationship wasn't completely unhealthy and codependent. It seemed obvious lately that Naruto was wanting space. Sasuke didn't mean to interfere or pressure him, but it should've been easy to tell Sai not to call for a while or to ask for room to breathe. It's possible Naruto was too nice for that. Sasuke had felt that way plenty of times – that Naruto could put up with just about anything because of an obligation he felt to do the _Christian_ thing. Or, should he say the _right_ thing, the _moral_ thing? He understood Naruto was a very righteous person. Sasuke wouldn't do half as much for others as the blond did already. Actually, he wasn't especially philanthropic at all.

Twenty minutes passed, and when there was no further yelling, he decided to get up and see what was going on. Sasuke knocked on the door, but, receiving no answer, went inside and saw Naruto lying on the middle of the bed. The phone was on the floor, which probably wasn't a good sign. Sasuke picked it up, made sure it wasn't broken, and set it on the desk.

"Naruto," he called to him.

The blond had his arm thrown across his eyes and hadn't acknowledged his presence.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sasuke took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I'd rather hold it in if that's okay."

"Usually I'd be very supportive of that method, but what the hell's going on with you two lately?"

"Who knows?" When Naruto moved his arm, he noticed that his eyes were red.

"Shove over then." He pushed Naruto to the other side so he could lay next to him.

Neither spoke, but Sasuke was content with not talking. He'd leave it to Naruto to open up when he was ready. Actually, he felt rather content lying here, though he tried to recall different acquaintances he'd known with tempestuous relationships like Naruto and Sai's. He remembered Sakura dating a guy once, when it seemed all they ever did was fight. He could never figure out why she continued to date him. What was the point of being with someone who made you feel like shit all of the time? That's why people like him–or Neji–didn't try to make something into what it wasn't. He knew his limits as a partner, so if he wasn't serious, why bother? If Sai and Naruto weren't dating, why did Naruto allow his friend to cause him so much grief?

"He's such an ass," Naruto said out of nowhere.

Sasuke glanced at him. "You'll have to be more specific."

"Meh, what do _you_ know? You're the one who made out with him."

He almost laughed because he was so genuinely surprised by the comment. "...I'm not sure what that has to do with anything."

"I mean your judgment is… iffy. Or biased or something."

"So, you're mad at him and now you're taking it out on me because I'm… here?" He asked, glancing over at him.

"Basically, yeah." Naruto did smile, albeit crookedly. "Sorry. I'm pissed."

"I'll play therapist then." He clasped his hands together and rested them on his stomach, smirking. "Why are you pissed? Tell me about your feelings."

"Tch." Naruto rolled onto his side, facing him. "You're startin' to sound more and more like me these days. Maybe we really did switch brains."

"And like I said before, you'd have to have one first. What's he mad about? You being with me still? You not answering his calls?"

"Both… and I might've texted him from the party last night, so he was mad about that, too."

"Why, what did you text him?"

"I didn't say anything too bad. I was drunk, and it was after you left. I was...venting."

"Then what's the problem?" He asked, wondering if Naruto brought this on himself.

"Ever since I moved, he's been different. He hates that I'm here, and he's there. He hates that I'm hangin' out with other people, like _you_ specifically. He doesn't like that I talk to you about meaningful stuff. He wants me to talk to him only, I guess. He wants to… _fix_ me."

"Are you broken?" Sasuke asked.

"That _is_ the question, isn't it?" Naruto scrunched his mouth to the side. "If I am, I'm pretty high-functioning, right?"

"For the most part, yes. But, again, I don't know your story. I'm not sure from what it is you apparently need to be saved?"

"I don't need to be saved," Naruto grumbled. "Do you feel you need to be saved?"

"You told me we can only save ourselves," he replied.

"Because that's true. I mean, I do believe that."

"If I'm honest," Sasuke licked his lips and pressed them together. "When I went home with you on Christmas, I did want someone to save me in a way. It could've been anyone, really. No offense. I agree with what you say, but there are times you want someone to make it go away. Someone who can make you forget maybe. At least for a little while."

"Can't you just put it out of mind?" Naruto sighed before flipping onto his back, apparently restless. "Stop bein' so calm and rational. It's freakin' me out."

"I was actually thinking about it in a more self-deprecating way. For example, casual sexual relationships in my case… and drinking in yours."

"Oh, God. Have I done anything irresponsible since you've known me?"

"No. I didn't say you had. I only said it seems to be your thing that helps you cope. I'm not ready to throw you into rehab yet. Different people have different ways of dealing with these things."

"Is this your way of tellin' me I should be more patient with Sai because he's been through stuff, too?"

"Not at all," he replied, surprised Naruto would think he'd be that sympathetic toward Sai. "In fact, I would've told him to fuck off, but we're different people."

"I'm not gonna tell my best friend to fuck off, but I _would_ like him to stop actin' like a jealous boyfriend. I hate to say that 'cause he's seen me through a lot of crap, but I thought it was gettin' better. When they came to visit, he seemed open to, uh, well… you. Why else would he have kissed you? And he was really considerate when you weren't feelin' well that night. I don't know. Maybe it's me? Maybe _I'm_ the jerk in this situation."

"Maybe you're both jerks, who cares? But if he's calling several times a day and trying to tell you who you can and can't hang out with, that's not very healthy. Right?"

"Shut up, Sasuke. I'm tired of you bein' reasonable when I'm upset."

Rolling over to look at him, Sasuke couldn't help but grin. "You're hilarious."

"Why's that?" Naruto glared, but it was clear he knew Sasuke was right.

"Cool down for a while. Then tell him you want some space. I'd like to think he'd realize that if I got the opportunity to bang you or vice versa, I would've immediately called to gloat."

Naruto's eyes widened. "What did you just say?"

"Obviously I'm versatile in that regard. It shouldn't come as much of a shock to you."

Naruto thwacked him in the chest. "No, you ass. Not that part. The part about you bangin' me!"

"Or vice versa." He smirked. "Anyway, my point was what makes him think I'd even be interested in an idiot like you?"

"Ah. Good point. He acts jealous, but he's never given me a real reason as to why he thinks you and I – "

Sasuke lifted a brow. "Maybe it's because we always end up in bed together? Like this."

"You are bein' such a butt right now. I know you're doin' it on purpose."

"I'm taking your mind off of things. Obviously."

The changes in expressions on Naruto's face were so amusing to him, he couldn't help but laugh. Naruto started smacking him around a bit, too, which only made him laugh harder. At least until Naruto sat up on the bed, grabbed a pillow, and hit him with it.

"Are you done?" Naruto asked. He lifted the pillow off of Sasuke's face.

"I would never finish that early. Another thing you can tell Sai."

Naruto dropped the pillow on his head, but Sasuke, feeling ornery, got up to sit next to him. He eyed Naruto for a while. The blond seemed in a better mood now, which made him feel good. It was nice that it wasn't just Naruto who had the ability to lighten _his_ mood. With his head bowed, Naruto brought one knee to his chest and started playing with a string on his sweatpants.

"Don't pick at it," he said.

Naruto lifted his head. "You are so…"

"What?" He hit Naruto lightly with the pillow, and Naruto snatched it away to set it on his lap. "What am I?"

"I like you."

"Pardon?"

"I always thought you were interesting. Our relationship started out… _different_ , but I always liked you. Yeah, maybe you also scared the shit out of me at times, but I'm glad you asked me to come here with you because, otherwise, I wonder if I would've realized you had another side to you."

"I have another side?" He wasn't sure what that meant. "When I'm not having nervous breakdowns, I can be as charming as you… on rare occasions."

"You _are_. Although I was thinkin' _adorable_ , but I know you hate that word."

"Are you flirting with me right now?" He asked.

Naruto's cheeks turned a slight pink. "I wasn't, I didn't mean–"

"Why are you getting flustered? Is that why you put that pillow on your lap?" He stole it back. "Ah, I see. The real reason Sai's mad is because you admitted you have a crush on me."

"Uh huh. That's _exactly_ what happened," Naruto replied.

"This is bad for my ego. You don't have to sound so disgusted by the notion."

"I'm not disgusted by the _notion_. I'm disgusted by your _bravado_."

He smirked, enjoying their banter. "You love my bravado."

"If I was drunk like last night, I would so make out with you right now." Chuckling, Naruto started biting at his lip as he played with the folds on the pillow case.

"Would you?" He watched Naruto's face carefully as the blond looked up again. "There _is_ alcohol in the kitchen."

"You told me I have a drinking problem, and _now_ you wanna get me drunk so I'll make out with you? You can't be _that_ desperate. You spent all night kissin' Neji. I don't want sloppy seconds."

"You're one to talk–just because you don't kiss on the lips." He tugged at that string on Naruto's pants until it came all the way out.

"Ah! My pants!"

"You were making it worse." Sasuke poked at it. There was still a weird thing protruding.

Naruto leaned back on his arms. "Findin' excuses to touch me, are you?"

"Stop flirting with me," he replied. "It's _disgusting_."

"Sasuke. I'm gonna kick you soon." Naruto stretched out his leg and started nudging him in the thigh with his foot. "Where's my tea?"

"You left it in the living room."

"Right…"

Sasuke was watching him again. "I suppose you've forgotten our conversation?"

"I guess I did..."

"Maybe if you say it quickly, it'll be like ripping off a Band-Aid?"

"We were havin' such a good time," Naruto moaned. "Now you want me to ruin it?"

"I'm not very good at saying these kinds of things, but… Naruto." He took a second to process his thoughts as he raked his fingers through his hair. "I want to help. Not because I think you need to be fixed, but so that I can understand. You. I want to… know you."

Naruto glanced away. "...It's hard to keep makin' excuses when you say things like that. ...Alright. If you wanna know so bad." He turned to Sasuke again, looking him in the eye. "I'll tell you."

* * *

Naruto, after cracking his knuckles for the past five minutes, let out a heavy sigh. "I dunno where to start."

"Take your time." Sasuke reached for his hand. "You're making me nervous. You might break a couple of your fingers off."

"Sorry." Naruto quickly removed his hand from Sasuke's, and Sasuke, unoffended, let his own drop between them. "It's been a long time since I've talked about it. I mean, I only ever told Sai, and that was in high school. Now that I'm older, I feel like I should censor it better."

Sasuke frowned, curious about what he meant by that. "Only tell me what you want to or feel comfortable with."

"So." Naruto took in a very deep breath. "When I was seven and we were living in Wyoming, my father was a pastor at the local church. I told you we moved around a lot. I think it was out of habit since my dad had been raised in a military family. He'd also been in the army when he was younger, too, but as a chaplain. It was a small town, pretty rural, I guess. Lots of big, open spaces. My mom had mostly stayed at home until I was old enough to go to school, and then, she started working for the church. She was in charge of finances and administrative stuff."

He paused to pick up one of the pillows and set it on his lap again, fluffing it and spreading out the folds and wrinkles with his hands.

"For a while, I'd go to the church after school got out 'cause she and dad would be there, and there was a bus that would drop me off. They usually didn't leave until around six. Back then, I guess I'd say I was a pretty rowdy kid. It was hard for my mom to keep an eye on me at all times, and dad had services. I'd be in some room writin' on the walls in crayon, or breakin' things, or, you know – just bein' a kid. There were a lot of snotty adults around who liked to complain about me, too, and they'd usually complain to my dad."

Sasuke smiled faintly since he could imagine Naruto being a handful as a kid. It made him think of that photo on the dresser at the blond's house, the one of him in the lap of an older man. He bet, though he wouldn't admit this, that Naruto was a rather adorable child.

"It got on my dad's nerves, me bein' at the church. He said I was distracting the staff. It was boring there, so I dunno what he thought I should do? After a few months of that, my dad insisted my mom give up her job to watch me at home, or they had to find somewhere else I could go to after school. I remember them fightin' about it couple of times. I felt bad about that, so I told my mom that I didn't mind havin' a baby-sitter."

Naruto set the pillow to the side again, resettled himself into a cross-legged position, and placed his elbows on his knees. He kept brushing his finger back and forth across his bottom lip.

"First they put me with this little old lady who had a bunch of cats, and that's how they found out I'm allergic. Then, there was this one high school girl, who I really liked. She was fun and nice to me, but she only watched me for the summer of her senior year and then went to college. This would've been shortly before my eighth birthday, I guess. Maybe August?"

For a handful of seconds, Naruto paused, and the smile from whatever fond memory he was recalling of the pretty high school girl began to fade.

"It would've been nice if she could've stayed. I was goin' back to school, too. I was gonna start second grade. That made it easier on my parents to find someone since I only needed to be watched for two or three hours. My dad," Naruto rubbed at his cheek, "He had this friend. A guy who went to our church. I knew him, and he'd never been mean to me. He usually offered me candy and stuff after service. You know, those little caramel hard candies in the gold wrapping?"

"Yes. My grandparents used to give me those," said Sasuke.

"Heh. Yeah." Naruto fidgeted, rubbing his shoulder and then his neck. "He was older, like older than my parents. Early 40s. He worked part-time at a factory outside of town and did other random sidejobs, too. So, since he worked a later shift and slept during the day, he offered to pick me up from school and watch me until my mom or dad came to get me. My dad was happy about it 'cause he liked the guy. They'd watch football and hunt together. He was active in the church."

Naruto pushed the pillow off of his lap. He clasped his hands together and began cracking his knuckles again. Sasuke didn't bother to stop him this time.

"So, that was fine for me at first 'cause the guy usually let me do whatever, run all over the house or outside. He had this huge, fenced-in backyard. He wasn't married and didn't have any kids. I remember he always had a lot of candy and junk food lyin' around. Mom hated that 'cause then I'd come home and torment the crap out of her until my dad threatened to get the belt." Naruto looked over at him, his tone serious. "You sure you wanna hear this?"

What could he say? He didn't know where this build-up was headed but the thought of Minato taking a belt to Naruto as a kid certainly added some perspective to their relationship. Not that Sasuke hadn't grown up with a stern father, as well. He was a policeman, after all. But, at most, he'd really only ever received spankings, and typically from his mother.

"As long as you're willing to tell me," he said. "Yes."

"Okay." Naruto nodded before clearing his throat. "Two weeks after school started, the guy picked me up in his minivan, and there was this puppy in the back seat. He told me it was a mutt he'd adopted from the pound. A German Shepherd and Lab mix named Barsi. I dunno why I remember those details…?" Naruto frowned as if pausing to consider this. "Anyway. When we got to his house, he let me play outside with the puppy, but it started to rain. I didn't wanna go in, so the puppy and I got really dirty. Eventually, my dad's friend came out and called us in. I was afraid he'd be really mad at me for bein' dirty, but he didn't yell at me at all. He hosed off the dog and put her in the garage, and then he had me take off my muddy sneakers."

Naruto started pulling at that spot on his pants where there'd been a loose string. "He had me follow him upstairs into his bedroom, where there was a connected bath. After he turned on the tub faucet, he told me to strip out of my dirty clothes, which I did, but I was having trouble, so he came over to help me. I remember thinkin' it was lucky that he wasn't yelling, and I asked him: 'You're not gonna tell my mom and dad I got dirty, right?' and he said to me: 'Do you not want me to tell them about it?' So, obviously I didn't want him to… and he said he wouldn't tell as long as I was a good boy. I promised to be good, so he said he wouldn't tell, and when I was down to my underwear, I kinda thought he'd leave, but he didn't. He sat there and stared at me. I was embarrassed, so I told him I could do it myself. Then he reminded me I'd said I would behave, and if I wanted my parents to receive a good report, I should take off my underwear and get in the tub like he told me."

Sasuke was holding his breath. A part of him didn't want to hear the rest, but he'd been the one to ask for this. Naruto wouldn't look at him either, adding to his sense of foreboding.

"I thought it was weird," Naruto's voice cracked in a way that made Sasuke's chest ache and his stomach turn. "But it's not like my parents didn't get in with me sometimes, you know – so I didn't brain myself on the floor or the side of the tub. I got this feeling, though, that I shouldn't argue. The way he looked at me was… not so nice anymore, so when I was naked, he just… stared, and then told me to get in. I thought he would leave… or I dunno… but he didn't. He… " Naruto, grimacing, rubbed the back of his head. "He took his clothes off in front of me and…"

"Naruto," he said, "You don't have to – "

"It's fine." Naruto shot him a look, intense and terrible but determined. "I didn't know anything about that stuff at seven years old. Only the things you learn at school from other kids. So, when he touched himself, I didn't know what he was doing, but I felt like… I wanted to leave really bad. I thought he'd hurt me if I tried to run out. He was a _big_ guy… tall… he had a beard… dark hair… and his voice was raspy. He smoked a lot. I really hate the smell of cigarettes. _Sorry_."

Naruto wiped at his eyes, and all Sasuke could do was watch helplessly. It's not like he could hug him or provide comfort. He felt paralyzed. All he could do was sit there and listen.

"I hate that I remember those dumb details. I try to block them out–what he looked like, what he smelled like, or the sound of his voice–but you'd be surprised how quickly it all comes back." Naruto pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I'll spare you the gory details," Naruto stated bitterly, "But I'll just say… when he was done touchin' himself… he got in the tub and felt _inspired_ to provide me with a private anatomy lesson."

"Jesus," Sasuke said in a rush of air he'd been holding in.

"Afterward, he acted like it was no big deal and told me that if I wanted him to keep my secret, I should keep _his_ about what had happened. When my mom came to get me that evening, he told her I'd been good. I felt… weird. I didn't tell her anything." Naruto, hugging his knees as he rocked back and forth, gave a snort. "It's strange, really. Lookin' back as an adult… how much you _trust_ grown-ups. You don't really question them at that age. I didn't put it together right away. What he'd done. I didn't know it was _abuse_. Then it happened again. Not the next day, but days later. And it progressed to other things. The nasty shit you read about in papers or see in movies. Sometimes he was gentle, I guess, and sometimes he… wasn't. He was a completely different person during those times than how he was in front of my parents or at church, and when it hurt… or when he yelled or… hit me or whatever, tied me up... " Naruto cleared his throat again, "I was afraid. That he'd kill me or hurt my parents… and he started to threaten me that he would do bad things if I ever told anyone. He said it would get my dad in trouble at the church, that my parents would be angry at me for being a... _sinner_."

Naruto rested his chin on top of his arms and closed his eyes. "It went on for seven months, and I think my mom suspected something a couple of times. I _wanted_ to tell her, but I was afraid. That she'd hate me, or that he would hurt her… I didn't know any better. I didn't have many friends. I almost told a teacher once, but I thought this guy would find out. It was a small town. Everyone knew each other. I didn't know who to trust. I also thought it was my fault."

"So…," Sasuke had a tough time keeping his voice even. "How did you get it to stop?"

"Well. Sorry if this is too much information, but one day he got _really_ rough, and... it hurt a lot. It had hurt before, and I'd bled before, but usually I got rid of the evidence, or he did. I threw my my underwear in the trash, but this one time, my mom found it, and she asked me about it. When I told her, I cried, she became kind of hysterical. Then she told my father."

With a vacant expression, Naruto lifted his head from off his knees.

"He didn't believe me at first. I like to think he was in shock, but he told me he was gonna whip me for makin' stuff up about his friend for attention. Except my mom _showed_ him what she found, and when I started givin' them details about things he did to me, things he made me do… about specific things only I could know about his body. Then, yeah, he believed. But, he didn't want to call the police right away. He wanted to talk to some of the people on the church board first because he knew it would cause a scandal. Obviously my mom got pissed and called the police anyway, and the guy was investigated and charged. Long story short, my parents separated six months after that. The court allowed my mom to move me to Vegas before the divorce was settled. Then they divorced 18 months later, and I didn't see my dad much after that. I went to a good school in Vegas, mom put me in therapy 'cause I had some _behavioral_ issues… among other things… and that's when I started doin' the musical therapy stuff."

Naruto was able to look at him again, and Sasuke did his best to keep eye contact.

"About the time I was supposed to start high school, mom was diagnosed with an illness, and it happened so fast, she was gone within a couple of months. It was really unexpected. I ended up with my dad, which I hated at first. My mom left me everything she had in her will, but I couldn't live on my own… and before she died, she asked me to try and forgive him." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "That's the story. If I seem closed off or emotional sometimes it's apparently because I'm a cliche. It wasn't a priest at least, but, hey, I let some pervert do all kinds of things to me… and it affects everything I do almost. To this day. It's why I don't know who I'm attracted to or why, it's the reason I slept with Sai. Because I didn't know why sex with Ino felt weird sometimes, or why I thought I was attracted to boys, too. After mom died, I triedto keep it together on my own, but in high school and those years I went to college… I just… partied a lot and did a couple of fucked up things but still had to show up to church on Sunday. My dad was always breathin' down my neck. He didn't like the people I hung out with or that I dropped out of school, or that I moved in with Sai. Eventually, my dad decided we should move... As a family, we could have a _fresh_ start and all that. I only agreed 'cause I thought my mom would want me to try and get closer to him, and…"

Sasuke bear witness as Naruto broke down, sobbing as he buried his face in his arms. He didn't know what he should do or if touching him would make Naruto uncomfortable. He suddenly felt highly conscious of all of the things he'd observed, the things he'd said in jest… and then it occurred to him what he'd done after the Christmas Eve service. Jesus, no wonder Naruto had been pissed! There was no opportunity to apologize, so Sasuke inched closer to him.

"I'm going to hold you… is that okay?" He asked.

Naruto let out a strangled laugh. Well, he wasn't going to touch him without permission, even if Naruto thought he was an idiot for asking.

"Come here." Sasuke put an arm around his shoulders and dragged him partially into his lap, so that Naruto's head rested against his chest. "That was… "

"Right? It's _so_ stupid."

Sasuke, without realizing, started petting his head. "I'm sorry."

"S'not your fault." Naruto sniffled.

He wrapped his other arm around Naruto's chest and rocked him. It wasn't entirely for Naruto's sake either, Sasuke's thoughts were going a mile a minute. He felt disgusted, sad, angry. The only thing he could do right now was hold him.

Not knowing the right thing to say – was there anything he could say? – he said nothing. Naruto cried a little longer, though quietly. He was apparently embarrassed as well as upset. Eventually, he curled up more in his lap, resting his head on Sasuke's thigh.

Sasuke kept running fingers through his hair, only wanting to do what he could.

 _Trust_ , Naruto had said, _It's hard to earn back once you've lost it_.

Well, now he knew why.

* * *

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Good news: This chapter is especially long. Bad news: I'm taking an extended break from posting new fanfic. Good news: If you begin to miss my writing, you can buy Break Free, which is even better, because it's a story written by me and voiced by the real Naruto and Sasuke (see profile).

* * *

It took some time before Naruto calmed. The blond lay in his lap while Sasuke continued gently running his fingers through Naruto's hair. Though it was a difficult story to hear and even tougher to absorb, it had managed to drudge up memories from his own past. Obviously, their stories were different, but they both shared the kind of pain most could never relate to. They both shared a sense of guilt and shame from the traumas they'd experienced. It was apparent now that him bringing up Gaara had been forcing Naruto to think more about what happened to him as a child. For that, he felt guilty even if he never would've guessed any of it. Once he could tell Naruto was asleep, Sasuke rolled him to one side of the bed; Naruto murmured but didn't wake.

For a while, he sat on the edge of the bed, watching him, his chest so heavy and yet so empty at the same time. He didn't want to think about all the things that had happened to Naruto during those seven months. But that wasn't fair. Because when he'd tried explaining to boyfriends about having baggage, they always acted as if it was too much to handle. He didn't want Naruto to feel that way. More than likely, that's why Naruto kept his past a secret and why he was so private in general when it came to personal things.

After checking to see if Naruto was still asleep, Sasuke got up and went through his dresser, searching for a pair of sweatpants. He smelled of sweat and smoke from the club, so he wanted to take a shower before bed. The entire time he was in there, he felt rather uncomfortable–thinking about what a grown man would do with a 7-year-old in a bathtub. It made him want to vomit. It was strange to admit, but more pieces of the puzzle started coming together in his head now that he knew the truth. Gaara's death had changed him, crippled him in some ways, but it wasn't the _end_. He still had to carry on; Naruto had to do the same, coping with it however he could. Sasuke would venture a guess Minato wasn't the most sympathetic person in the world, but Naruto had chosen to move here despite that in an effort to repair their relationship. Whether or not it was working was another story. He didn't stay in the shower long. When he got out, he threw on some clothes, and decided his hair could dry on its own. Sasuke double-checked the lock on the front door and brought Naruto's unfinished tea to the kitchen before returning to the bedroom.

He paused in the doorway, observing Naruto while he slept. He suddenly felt compelled to sketch. Drawing was one of the best ways for him to sort out his own thoughts and calm down. He walked to the desk and picked up a pencil and notebook. Sasuke considered sleeping on the couch, but a part of him knew Naruto might take that as a rejection of sorts. He crawled onto his side of the bed and slipped under the covers, leaving ample room between them at least. There was only the light coming from the lamp on the bedside table. He dimmed it and started to sketch, always conscious of any movement Naruto made, his breathing, or when he began to softly snore. It had become such a habit for him to share a bed with the blond.

What would happen when he brought Naruto home? Would he be okay if left alone? In truth, Sasuke had no expectations for the future. He might see Naruto if he went home on breaks, but this Christmas was the first he'd been home in almost a year, so was that realistic? Would Naruto want to visit him here? Did he even _want_ to continue their friendship? Hadn't he come here to get away, and understandably so? Did he find being friends with Sasuke exhausting?

He stopped mid-sketch to glance at Naruto's sleeping form–back to him, blond hair falling across the pillow, and a shadow that cut across the bottom half of his shirt. There was a heaviness building inside his chest. Longing? Grief? He wasn't sure. So, Sasuke returned to sketching because that was something that felt familiar. It helped clear his mind of these miserable thoughts and images he had floating around in his brain. He stayed working until the early hours, filling as many pages as he could until his hand eventually cramped up from drawing, and his whole body became too tired to continue.

* * *

When he awoke in the morning, there were a pair of deep blue eyes staring at him from only inches away. They were haunting in their intensity. Descriptive poetic imagery sprung to mind until Sasuke snapped out of it and realized this wasn't a dream.

"You fell asleep drawing," Naruto said, smiling uncertainly. "I set your stuff on the table. I didn't peek, except the page I could see. Looks like you were up late."

"I was," he replied, voice hushed and raspy. "How did you sleep?"

"I didn't wake up at all until about five minutes ago." Naruto's gaze shifted back and forth.

He was uneasy, Sasuke could tell. He hoped it wasn't because he'd slept in the bed.

"Something wrong?" Sasuke asked, rolling from his side to his stomach.

Naruto didn't answer. He stared at him solemnly, which made Sasuke want to pull him over, wrap his arms around him, and have them fall back asleep together.

"You're looking at me differently," Naruto whispered.

He frowned. "How am I looking at you?"

"I don't want to be pitied, and I'm not weak."

"I know you're not." Sasuke wanted to tell him that–if anything–Naruto was far stronger than he'd ever realized, but he couldn't get the words out.

Naruto reached across to take hold of his chain. It had fallen free of his shirt.

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, watching him.

Naruto raised his gaze, eyes lingering on him briefly before he returned his attention to the ring that hung from Gaara's chain.

Sasuke covered Naruto's hand with his. "You okay? You're acting strange."

"Sorry." Naruto let go of the necklace, and Sasuke let go of him. "It's weird for me. Telling you all that. I don't like feeling vulnerable, to be honest. I've never known what to do with these feelings when they come up. I usually try to keep 'em buried and not think about it much."

"Sai's the only other one you've told like this?" He asked.

At least now he could understand Sai's reasoning for being overprotective. It was difficult to hear a story like that and not get angry. Wanting to protect someone wasn't something Sasuke had much experience with until he'd met Naruto. But, he knew very well what it felt like to not want anyone's pity. Maybe Naruto was thinking Sai only felt sorry for him. It was clear Naruto was the type of person who believed he could take care of everything and everyone on his own.

"Yeah, he knows all of it. Karin doesn't know as much. Ino… She only knows there are things I don't want to talk about." Naruto chewed his lip. "They don't know how bad it was, or how far he went. I don't _want_ them to know."

"If you think you need someone else to talk to," Sasuke said, remembering how Naruto tried calling him last night. "I won't be offended if you want to call him. Sai, I mean."

"Why would you say that?" Naruto asked.

"I'm not sure how useful I can be to you."

"Huh." Naruto's expression softened. "Not just brains, but now we've reversed roles, too. I think I'm beginning to understand how you felt that first night you stayed at my house."

"Obviously, we're two people who… have some issues." He forced a smirk, hoping Naruto wouldn't take offense.

"Yeah. I guess I already knew that. I wanted to keep this from you as long as possible."

"Why? Not that I would've guessed. If I had, I never would've pushed you to tell me."

"You didn't really push me. I mean, you did, but I could've lied. I could've told you to shut up about it, but I also thought that you were lookin' for someone who could understand what you'd gone through with Gaara. I'll never know what you went through exactly, but at least when you came to me for help, I wasn't just sayin' all of that stuff. I meant it."

"I'm so sorry." He wanted to apologize for that night, for trying to hurt Naruto–especially that way. "I wish you would've punched me in the face, honestly."

"I wanted to, believe me," Naruto replied, almost grimacing. "But it was clear you were tired of hurting. Tired of keeping it all inside. Now that I've known you this long, I get that you must've been desperate to open up to me, especially when we were strangers."

"Do you regret telling me?" Sasuke asked.

"Do _you_ regret it?"

"No." He shook his head. "You're right in that I was desperate. I didn't know how you would react, but I'm glad I did it."

"Well," Naruto's eyes brightened, gaze becoming somewhat mischievous. "You _must've_ been grateful. Since you kissed me and all."

"Shut up." Sasuke, unable to keep from blushing out of embarrassment (and a little shame) had to look elsewhere. "I wasn't thinking right. That should be obvious. I said I was sorry."

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked over at Naruto when he called. The morning light was hitting him in a way that had him itching to grab his sketchpad again.

"What?" He asked morosely.

"I hope you don't feel like you pushed me into a corner. Yeah, I feel kind of embarrassed, but I also feel relieved. Maybe I said too much? I hope I didn't traumatize you."

"You're worried about _me_ being traumatized? You really do have a martyr complex." Watching him, Sasuke moved his hand across the sheet, closer to the Naruto's, but without touching him. "I feel good about you trusting me enough to tell me."

With a smile, Naruto touched his fingertips to Sasuke's. "You really sound like me when I'm counselin' people, you know that?"

"I'm sure you've rubbed off on me these past two weeks. You might've taught me some new tricks."

Naruto slid his hand on top of Sasuke's. "The first night we met, when I was movin' the pews out of the truck, my first impression of you was… 'wow, _that_ guy's a _dick_ '."

Sasuke let out an unexpected laugh. "Understandable, but in my defense, I was in a bad mood."

Naruto clasped their fingers together and let their joined hands rest between them on the bed. "I knew you were upset about something. I didn't know how to approach that other than to invite you to church. I thought since you were walking that way, you were already going. Then again, I'd not seen you at a service before, and I was excited since I didn't know anyone else in town. People treat me differently 'cause of dad, but you never did. I didn't wanna get close to you at first since you weren't stayin' in town and because I thought you needed my help more than my friendship. But now I think I needed somethin' from you as much as you did me."

Those words… stirred something deep inside of him. They shone light on those dark and twisted parts that had made it difficult to get close to people, even when he'd longed for it. He tried to smile, but in a way, it felt as if his heart was breaking.

"I suppose if I tried to kiss you," he said, only half-joking. "You'd reject me again?"

Naruto chuckled. "Guess you shoulda brought that mistletoe with you, huh? Sasuke, I knew you were angry when you did that. I've never held it against you."

Sasuke stared, part of him disappointed Naruto might've just admitted he'd never considered him that way. Then again, it was a fairly inappropriate time to be bringing up physical intimacy with someone who'd confessed to being assaulted as a child.

"Do you think…" Sasuke's eyes were on their hands. "That what happened to you is the reason you believe you can't have a relationship with someone?"

Naruto drew his hand away. "What happened to me screwed up everything for a long, _long_ time. I was young when that happened, but I had _some_ idea about girls. Maybe I didn't understand the concept of sexual attraction at that age, but in high school, I liked dating. I liked girls. I liked havin' sex with Ino, but sometimes there were issues. I was a teenager, though, so I didn't know how to talk to her about it, which is why we broke up."

He wanted to ask about those things Naruto referred to as "issues," but he was trying to keep his annoying habit of asking personal questions under control.

"You could try it again now," he said. "She would understand if you told her everything."

"She might, but she'd be hurt by it. Not because I kept her in the dark, but because I know she'd be upset. She'd feel sorry for me, which… isn't so great for the ego, you know? You thought I pitied you after you told me about Gaara, but that was so far from my mind." Naruto, sighing, closed his eyes. "With Sai, he's not looking for a relationship. I trust him because he knows where I'm coming from when it hits me sometimes. He'd opened up to me about being knocked around by his dad. Maybe I felt I owed it to him to tell my secret, but by then–knowing he was gay, too–I'd also had all these times I wasn't sure havin' been molested made me more open to being with guys, or if I would've always been attracted to them naturally. So… I asked Sai to have sex with me one night. I thought it would help me sort things out, I guess. Heh. It didn't take much convincing. And, I needed to know if I liked guys, girls, or if I liked guys _and_ girls. That was the summer before my senior year in high school."

This information was a shock for him, but he tried not to show it. He'd imagined what happened between them being the result of a mutual attraction or interest at least, not an experiment.

"And," Sasuke asked, "How did it go?"

"Not well." Naruto frowned contemplatively. "It was my fault. I thought it would be okay if he was on top, but I freaked out. He was cool about it, though. He handled it well."

Sasuke nodded. "But you tried it again. A second time?"

"Later on, yeah, but with me on top. It was a _lot_ better. It happened a third time when we were livin' together. I guess we did other stuff in between but not that often."

"I see." Sasuke quelled his irrational jealousy. "So… the last time… wasn't so long ago?"

Naruto flicked the corner of Sasuke's pillowcase. "It was around the time I told him I'd be moving. At that point, he thought he could convince me to stay and was surprised when I didn't. There was a week where he didn't talk to me, but then it went back to normal. He called me every day or every other day once I moved. Lately, though, he's been pickin' fights. I know he's worried, but he really is acting like… you know. A jealous boyfriend."

It made it even clearer to him why Sai was so hostile toward him. He probably hated Sasuke's guts since he got in the way of his alone time with Naruto. Sasuke did feel a _little_ guilty, but at the same time, there was a part of him that wanted Naruto to himself, too. If Naruto was saying those two were only friends, what obligation did Sasuke have to worry about Sai's feelings?

"You really don't think Sai wants a relationship with you?" He asked.

"Why?" Naruto's brows drew up in question. "I think he likes his freedom. The same as Neji."

"I don't know that I entirely agree with you, but I've told you that before."

Naruto raised himself onto an elbow. "What do you mean? What do _you_ think's goin' on?"

"I'm only going to say this because I think it's something you would say to me. Because I've always thought this from the first time I saw you two together. I think he's in love with you. I think you love him. So, I want to ask why you haven't tried dating?"

"I'd lose him, that's what." Naruto let out a sigh of frustration. "I… can't do it, and if I say yes… and it falls apart, I'd lose my best friend. I don't want that, Sasuke."

Still, Naruto's answer didn't really answer the question about what _he_ wanted or whether he was attracted to Sai in that way, or if he had _any_ interest in dating him.

"You really think he's going to walk away from you?" He asked.

Naruto huffed. "Why would I take the risk? Why do you keep defending him? I thought you two couldn't stand each other. And, _you_ should know. That you can be friends with a guy, have sex, and not require a relationship. After all, you have that with Neji."

Ah, he'd pushed too far again.

"I really don't think you can compare the two," he replied. "Neji's a friend, but he's no soulmate."

Naruto's look was one of incredulousness. "...You're sayin' Sai's my soulmate? Do you even believe in stuff like that?"

"I believe in a lot of things I probably shouldn't."

Naruto gave him a strange look. "I am _not_ capable of a relationship right now. I can barely take care of my own shit. I _know_ that. Yeah, I can do stuff for people at church and, yeah, it takes my mind off stuff. Sure, maybe I also do it because I still feel guilty for all kinds of things no matter how many times someone tells me 'it's not your fault'. But, romantically, I won't be able to be there. In the way, I think a man should be when he's in a relationship with someone."

"Also, I suppose if you were to date Sai, or any man, your father wouldn't be happy to find out you had a boyfriend," Sasuke commented as neutrally as possible.

He thought it safe to assume Minato had no idea about Naruto and Sai's relationship. Then again, if he had something against Ino, it was hard to imagine what type of partner he would approve of for his son. Sasuke was lucky his parents didn't pry into his private life too often.

"You're right." Naruto got up, crossed his legs, and leaned back against the wall. "He'd say it was because I was molested. That I was _confused_. He might ask me to stop workin' at the church. I don't really know. I don't want to hurt anyone if I can help it."

Well, that was certainly something Sasuke could relate to, but he was a lot less selfless than Naruto, so he didn't give a crap about someone else's feelings if they couldn't handle it.

He wet his lips, knowing he needed to be careful with his next words. "I think you're a better person than me then. I need it. I _crave_ it. That kind of intimacy with another man. Like this. You and I talking in bed about things that truly matter. I do, in a way, empathize with Sai because… I'd want something similar. With someone like you. But, having experienced what I did with Gaara, I'd also have to ask myself, is it because I want to date _you_ or because–"

"...What?" Naruto stared at him in utter confusion. "What did you just say?"

"I–" _Shit_. This wasn't coming out right. "I'm saying. _You_ were right. That I _am_ looking to find that feeling I had with Gaara. I may never find someone who makes me feel like how he made me feel because I _do_ believe in things like soulmates. That doesn't mean you should tell yourself you can't have something meaningful simply because you're afraid of hurting other people."

"Well, that's for me to decide." Naruto gave him a look of concern. "You know, Sasuke. No one's ever gonna be able to replace Gaara, and you shouldn't ever be made to feel like you have to by anyone."

"That's not the problem," he mumbled. "The problem is me knowingly using someone as Gaara's replacement. But I don't use that as my crutch for not dating."

"You think not wanting to hurt the people you love is a _crutch_?" Naruto asked, raising his voice.

" _No_. I'm saying you and I are different," he replied calmly. "We have different experiences and are handling our grief and anger in different ways. Your way makes sense for you, and mine makes sense to me."

Naruto scrubbed his hands through his hair. "That's fair, so I'm not gonna get mad, but you. There's no reason you have to forget about Gaara or remove him from your thoughts or your heart. A partner who's worthy of you would understand that, and wouldn't feel jealous or neglected, or angry because you get sad or mad sometimes."

"You realize that's a very good description of yourself, don't you? You're the only one who's ever let me talk about him freely. Even Neji has his limits."

Naruto went back to looking perplexed. "The difference between me and Neji is that, uh, there's _no_ romantic expectations. I don't get jealous just that you still have feelings for Gaara because… there are no romantic expectations between you and me. Right?"

Ouch. That was definitely rejection. And it stung more than expected. He knew Naruto was dense, but this was... well, maybe it was a good thing. If Naruto was saying he didn't want a relationship, Sasuke needed to accept it and learn to stop pushing his own desires on other people. Especially if he didn't know what he wanted himself.

"Besides," Naruto continued. "I wouldn't do that to you. I don't know if I'll ever be normal 'cause I dunno if I've ever _felt_ normal. When I think about it, a wall comes up, and it's a Catch-22. I _want_ to be with someone I care about, but I can't date them because I _do_ care. I've explained that to Sai plenty of times, but I swear he's never directly asked for a relationship."

"I'm sorry I brought it up." He tried to shrug it off. "What's normal? I wouldn't know."

"Yeah, but you've already had such a hard time. I think you should find someone who's got sunshine comin' out of their ass." Naruto flashed him a crooked grin.

"If that happened. I might advise them to see their doctor immediately," he mumbled and buried his face in his pillow. Maybe he could suffocate himself at this rate?

"Heh. I want to be your friend. I _need_ a friend. Really, I do. Because with Sai, there's already that complicated balance, and yeah, he's a best friend, he takes care of me, but because we had sex, sometimes I have to walk a line or at least be aware of it, and so far, you and I can just talk about whatever crap we feel like without holding back. You and I share our faith, too. That means a lot to me 'cause I don't have that with Sai."

Even if it hurt his ego, he understood where Naruto was coming from. He lifted his head, wanting to speak sincerely. "I know what you mean. You've reopened that desire I had as a kid to want to believe, to be a part of something greater than myself. I feel grateful to you for that."

"I do think it's somethin' that could really help you heal if you let it," Naruto said, and, leaning over, pat him on the head.

Sasuke swatted his hand away. "Is it doing enough for you, though?"

"Helping others does a lot for me," Naruto replied earnestly. "Having faith does a lot for me."

"What about having a pastor for a father?"

Naruto returned to his spot against the wall. "It's complicated."

"If he'd handled it differently? Back then."

"I've played through all the 'what ifs' a million times. Sometimes I get where he was comin' from. He was concerned about the church, the people who go there… I don't think it was just about savin' himself. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, right?"

Sasuke couldn't agree with that at all. "But you're his son. He left you with that man, Naruto. It could've gone on a lot longer if your mom wouldn't have found out."

"I _know_ , Sasuke," Naruto said, obviously growing more frustrated. "I've thought of all those things a million times, but I don't have my mom anymore, and if I don't keep it together, I'll… _break_ , and no one's gonna be able or know how to put me back together again, so I don't think, I don't say 'what if' anymore. I take it day by day, and some days are worse than others."

"Okay," he said, knowing Naruto had reached his limit. "Let's… not talk about it anymore."

"Good. Yeah. Please, anything but this." Naruto held his head in his hands.

"Okay. What do you want from me? What can I do for you?"

Naruto took a minute before replying. "Let me stay here for a while."

"What? You mean, _live_ with me here?"

"No." Naruto laughed. "I do have to go back to work. I meant I just wanna stay here for a few days and do nothing if we don't have to. I don't wanna have to be responsible."

"I'm not letting you party anymore."

"I'm fine with that," Naruto agreed.

There was a light feeling in his chest as he gazed at him. "You want me… to take care of you?"

"I didn't say that. I don't need much looking after."

"It feels like you do."

Naruto smiled. "On a general basis, I mean. I'm pretty capable."

"We don't have to do anything." Sasuke rolled until he was next to him, face in front of Naruto's knee. He could do some damage if he felt like it. "You can lie in bed all day. If there's something I need to do, I'll go do it, and you can stay here."

"Nah. I don't wanna lie in bed all day. I think that would only make it worse."

"I might have an idea." Sasuke rested his forehead against Naruto's knee.

"Oh, yeah?" Naruto set a hand on top of his head. "What did you have in mind?"

"How do you feel about renting a cabin in the mountains? There's a ski lodge up there."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Really?" Naruto asked, sounding more pleased than surprised. "Tonight, hm?"

"I thought you'd appreciate the attempt at spontaneity."

Naruto chuckled while continuing to comb his fingers through Sasuke's hair. "I think that sounds good, but I'm gonna suck at it. I'm usually pretty good at sports, but… this is gonna be bad unless it's anything like surfing. Not that I'm unwilling to try."

"I'll instruct you," he said, rather confident in his abilities. "I may even get some joy out of watching you fall down for the first hour or two."

"I see how it is." Naruto pulled at his hair so that he had to look up. "Are you trying to get revenge on me for something?"

"In a way," he answered. "You did friendzone me. It destroyed my ego."

"I can't tell if you're kidding." Naruto narrowed his eyes, trying to read his expression.

Sasuke thought it obvious, but he did want to fuck with him a little. "What if I wasn't?"

"Please. I'd be doing you a favor if I rejected you, but I know you're not serious. You just like to make out with every hot guy you see."

"But we haven't made out," he replied.

"No, but you did try to kiss me. Ha, that implies _you_ think I'm hot! I said you only make out with hot guys." Naruto, grinning and apparently thinking he was being funny, stretched his arms above his head. "For the record, I _do_ think you're witty and interesting and smart. Very talented, too. Any guy would be happy to date you… or, at the very least, sleep with you."

"This morning you said you think I'm attractive," he commented, idly watching the way Naruto's shirt shirked up as he moved around. "Are you attracted to me?"

Naruto stared at him as if puzzled by the question.

Sasuke sighed. "You're not going to answer that, are you?"

"I don't see the point. It wouldn't change anything."

"It's fine," he said, wondering why he kept exposing himself to humiliation and rejection. "You already told me how you feel, so I won't take all of the loose compliments you throw out as encouragement. There's no need to complicate what we have by throwing sex into the mix."

"Huh? When did I say anything about you and I having sex? I'm… getting confused about what we're talking about here, but to be clear… even if I hypothetically thought you were attractive, or if I have moments of attraction toward you, that doesn't mean I really see us bein' like that."

"...That only felt like being stabbed in the chest. Thanks for that." Sasuke rolled to his side of the bed and stared at the wall.

"I've already explained why I can't do relationships. I'm not playin' hard to get, I wouldn't do that. It means I genuinely think I can't 'cause I know there's stuff wrong with me that I want to sort out. I _wish_ I could have the sort of relationship you have with Neji. I see how Sai acts sometimes, and I know you see it, too. Sex with friends complicates things." Naruto nudged him with his foot. "Don't be greedy. You don't need another friend with benefits, do you? At least Neji's a good match in other ways even if he's selfish in bed."

Naruto was only teasing him, and Sasuke knew everything he was saying was right, but he couldn't do anything about this growing frustration. The closer he got to Naruto, the more he wanted from him.

"Let's not worry about it, okay?" He said. "Consider this a vacation from all of that. When you want to talk about it, I'm here. When you want to ignore it, that's fine, too. I won't push you."

"Okay. Thanks. You're good at this."

He glanced at him over his shoulder, thinking he was being sarcastic, but it didn't look like it. "I'll try not to be offended that this comes as a surprise to you."

Sasuke sat up on the edge of the bed.

"I'm going to grab my computer, and see if it's not too late to make reservations."

"If you're gonna do that, then why don't I make us breakfast?" Naruto asked.

As he stood and stretched, he gave Naruto a long look. "Why don't you stay in bed and relax? I can make breakfast after I take care of the cabin."

Naruto was sitting on his heels, scowling at him, so Sasuke did what any concerned person would do and poked him in the forehead.

"Ow. What the hell was that for?" Naruto rubbed at the spot.

He smirked. "It's a pressure point that helps to increase brain function. In your case, I'm not sure it'll work for you since you'd have to multiply by zero."

"Asshole!" Naruto was smiling as he grabbed hold of Sasuke's finger. "You're bein' sorta _cute_ right now. Do you wanna make out or somethin'? Is that why you kept askin' me all that stuff? Does me havin' a traumatic childhood backstory do somethin' for ya?"

Sasuke made a noise of disgust. "You're disturbing enough on your own. Your past has nothing to do with it."

Naruto let out a sharp laugh. "Take me with you when you go back to school."

"Tch." Sasuke started walking away. "You should only be so lucky."

* * *

Making reservations was easy enough. He had his own various savings and loans to pay for it, but because Naruto kept complaining, he promised he'd let him buy him dinner some time. It was only for the night, but he could tell they both needed to get out and do something active.

They packed a couple of bags and threw them in the trunk. Sasuke had some spare boots and snowpants since he sometimes went skiing with Neji or other friends. He only had his one board that he kept in storage, so they'd have to rent one for Naruto. The blond seemed in a good mood, even occasionally singing along with the radio. He didn't have a horrible voice, really. When he put effort into it anyway.

"So, do you go to this cabin place often?" Naruto asked.

"Not often," he replied. "Once in a while. Why?"

"Just wonderin' if you come here with Neji."

"Why would you be wondering about that?"

"Because." Naruto grinned. "Seems romantic."

"Does it? Then what does that say about us if we're going together?"

"Oh. Good point." Naruto furrowed his brow and changed the station. "How close do you think snowboarding is gonna be to surfing?"

"Fairly similar, I would think," he answered. "The basics are simple, but it usually takes about a day to get confident in going down a hill, and not a big one."

"This is gonna be boring for you then, won't it? If you're stuck teaching me?"

"I'll teach you what you need to know and leave you to practice by yourself on the bunny slope."

"That's fair," said Naruto. "I learn better that way. Or is it 'cause you're gonna be embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"I'm always embarrassed to be seen with you, idiot." Sasuke was a little distracted since there was more traffic than he expected on the highway, and everyone was driving like an imbecile.

"It sure is bright out today." Naruto pulled down the visor. "I forgot my sunglasses."

"I may have an extra pair in the glove compartment. You can check."

Naruto rifled through the compartment and found a pair of black sunglasses beneath the insurance information.

"How do I look?" He asked after putting them on.

Sasuke snuck a quick glance. "Not bad."

"That's more of a compliment than you usually give me."

Even though he knew the way, the GPS blurted out instructions to take the next exit in two miles. They were 15 minutes away.

"This was a really good idea." Naruto punched him lightly in the shoulder. "I hope you don't live to regret it when you have to carry my broken body back to our room tonight."

"As long as you don't do anything stupid like take the lift to the intermediate or expert hills, you should survive without any bones breaking."

"That's no fun."

"Your phone hasn't gone off for a while," Sasuke commented.

"That's 'cause I turned it off and threw it in my backpack."

"I suppose that'll do it."

"I don't really wanna talk to anyone right now. Is that bad?" Naruto asked.

"No, it's not bad. I feel that way sometimes, too."

"I like talkin' to you, though. You never bother me. In fact, I always look forward to hangin' out with you. You sure you're not tired of me yet?"

"No. Not especially." He tapped his thumb against the steering wheel.

"Did you bring your notebook so that you can draw?"

"Why do you ask?" Sasuke looked over at him.

"Only curious. Now I wish I would've gone through everything you drew last night. I didn't wanna invade your privacy, but I feel like it gives me more insight into who you are."

"Does it?" He asked quietly. "What is it you think my art would tell you that I couldn't?"

"Unconscious things, right?" Naruto shrugged. "I don't know…"

"I didn't bring it, but you can look at it when we get home."

"Home," Naruto repeated, then sighed. "We almost there?"

"Yep."

"Ah, yeah, I see the sign for it. Just up this hill then?"

The road was only two-lane and it was getting steeper. Tall pines lined either side of the road, some of them here for hundreds and hundreds of years. The further they drove up the incline, the more snow covered the ground and treetops became. Not much longer, and Sasuke pulled into one of the open spots next to the building where they could check-in. He left the car running.

"You can stay here," he said. "I need to get the key to the cabin."

"Okay, sure." Naruto waved him off.

It was colder than he'd expected, so he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat as he went in to greet the manager, hand over his credit card, and grab the key for whatever cabin they'd assigned. It took less than 10 minutes before he was back in the car again.

"We're in Cabin 10," he said, in case Naruto was interested.

"Is that a good one?" Naruto asked. "Does it have a hot tub and stuff?"

"There is one, but it'll be shared with the adjoining cabin."

"Shit, I didn't think to bring trunks. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because we don't usually use it when we come here," he replied.

"That surprises me. I figured you and Neji would've used it at least."

"You seem especially obsessed with Neji today," said Sasuke. "Should I have invited him? We could've had a threesome."

"Hilarious," Naruto muttered. "I wouldn't have been opposed, but I like that it's just the two of us."

Sasuke parked in the space assigned to their cabin. They weren't directly connected, but there was another cabin on the left. Since there were no other cars parked here, he assumed it hadn't been rented out. They looked like cottages. Inside was a living space with a kitchenette, a bathroom, and a separate room for the beds. It was strange they'd be having separate beds since they usually slept together, but he couldn't think of a reason to get a room with only one. Once he turned off the car, they got out and began hauling all their stuff in.

Because Naruto had a hand free, Sasuke let him dig the keys out of his coat pocket to open the front door. Naruto held it so he could go in first. There was a fire burning in the fireplace, which was nice. Everything was clean. Lots of wood paneling, of course, but it was cozy and rustic. He rather liked this place. Naruto must've been impressed considering all the noises of appreciation he kept making. Sasuke bypassed him so he could go dump his pack on one of the beds. Out of habit, he took the one by the window. The curtains were to the side, revealing a panorama-like view of the woods and creek. There was a deck in the back, too, but it measured the length of both cabins. It had a chiminea, grill, and the covered hot tub, which could easily fit up to six people.

Naruto followed him into the room. "Oh, wow. Two beds. That almost feels weird, huh?"

"I thought you'd like your own bed," he said. "For once."

"Hmm. It's not as if I've ever minded sharin' one with you, but it'll be good to spread out."

"Take one of the closets if you have stuff to hang up," Sasuke told him. "I just want to get situated in here, use the bathroom, and then we can head up if you're ready."

Naruto dropped his bag beside his bed and fell on top of it. "Whatever you want. Feels good to just lay here."

Sasuke walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, bouncing on top of it. Naruto cracked open an eye to look at him, smiling.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Feels like a honeymoon."

"You sure you're not gay?"

"Only partially," Naruto answered. "It's not a honeymoon if there's two beds."

"I'm so sorry. Should I have reserved a room with one?"

"No." Naruto rolled onto his side and pat the duvet. "It's fine. I like this place a lot." He reached for Sasuke's wrist, but stopped himself it seemed.

"What was that?" Sasuke asked, an eyebrow drawing up.

"Nothin'." Naruto flipped to his back. "I thought you had to pee."

"Right. I'd tell you to make yourself at home, but it looks like you already have."

"Mm." Naruto closed his eyes. "I totally wanna use that hot tub later, Sasuke."

"We'll see if it even works first," he replied, heading for the bathroom. "Don't fall asleep. When I get back, we need to get up there before it gets too late to teach you anything."

* * *

Though they could've walked, they took the car up to Deer Valley Resort's main building, where there was a rental store, restaurant, bar, locker rooms, and common area. He brought Naruto over to the rental counter. It took Naruto longer than expected to decide on his gear, and Sasuke left the employee working the rental counter to assist Naruto in picking out what he wanted. Once they had everything they needed, Sasuke led them outside. They started with the bunny slope, where most of the kids were, and, of course, several adults taking their first lessons with instructors.

"This is… kind of embarrassing," Naruto said. "Do we really have to start at the beginning? Can't you just shove me down a hill, and if I hit a tree my first time, it wasn't meant to be?"

"Not funny because that does happen," he replied, "And, more than you being safe, you don't want to hurt anyone else, do you?"

"No." Naruto pouted.

Sasuke didn't even want to think about how good Naruto looked in his gear with that California beach-blond hair peeking out under his helmet and those stupid, stylish goggles. The whole ensemble was surprisingly flattering to Naruto's very athletic build.

"First, we're going to strap your lead foot into the binding, and I'll teach you how to skate."

"Skate?" Naruto made face. "Is that what it's called?"

"So, more than likely, you'll want to sit on your ass for this. Especially if you're on a hill, you wouldn't want your board to slide away, which reminds me. If you do set it down, make sure it's like this." He demonstrated, placing his board upside down. "You wouldn't want it to get away from you because it could do some serious harm."

"Ah, makes sense." Naruto got down on his butt in the snow. "Now what?"

"Alright, so we're going to strap up your left foot because your dominant foot is the one that goes behind like a rudder." Sasuke got onto his knees and put the blond's foot into position. "So, you put it in here, and then you lock it in. To tighten it up, you adjust the ratchet, like this. To take it off again, lift up. Try it a few times."

He watched Naruto take it off and tighten it back up a couple of times, satisfied that he understood.

"Now, you're going to stand, and I'll teach you how to move around with the board strapped to your foot." Sasuke stood and held out a hand to help Naruto to his feet.

Once he was up, Sasuke–still holding onto his hand–dragged him toward a slight incline in the snow so that he could show him how to go up a hill.

"When you're going up a hill, or walking up to a lift, you need to keep your free foot out in front of you and dig the edge of the board into the snow and drag it along. It helps to always keep the board parallel to your chest in whatever direction you're going." He turned Naruto so that his body was facing toward the top of the incline and made sure his free foot was out in front. "Now, try walking forward while dragging the board. Dig it into the snow so it doesn't slip out from under you and you end up rolling your ankle."

Sasuke followed nearby in case he slipped. It wasn't a difficult concept, but it was the easiest way to get around since unstrapping the board after each run would take forever. Since they were already at the top of a hill, he showed Naruto how he needed to point the board in the direction he wanted to go. All he had to do was place his free foot on the board and slide down.

"Just keep your weight balanced between the bindings and don't lock up your knees or ankles. Keep them flex," he said, and, even on his first attempt, Naruto went down without a problem.

It was a baby slope, but for some people, it was more difficult than it looked. They walked up some ways to an even higher incline, but it didn't faze Naruto. He already had great balance and a natural instinct for movement. That must've been the surfing experience kicking in.

He watched Naruto try a few more times, just so that he could get used to the feel of it. By then, it was obvious Naruto was ready for something more challenging. After Sasuke strapped into his board, they made their way toward the lift so he could take Naruto on his very first run.

* * *

On the ride up to the drop-off point for Wide West run, Sasuke gave Naruto a few other tips that he thought would be helpful for a beginner. Most of it was about safety and places beginners should avoid (in case they got separated). It was amusing when they were getting off the lift and Naruto didn't realize it would require going down a short hill before it flattened out.

"Hold my hand, dammit," Naruto said as they slid off the seat.

Sasuke held his gloved hand to make sure he stayed upright. There were a couple small kids there, so he steered Naruto over to where he wouldn't knock into anyone.

"This is a fairly flat run," said Sasuke. "We'll go down it together. Just remember that when you want to slow up, turn your board perpendicular. Any questions?"

"Not really. Like I said, I learn better by just doin' it."

"Hn. I bet." Sasuke smirked. "We'll take this slow, just so I can talk you through how to turn. No point in trying to show you big tricks on your first time out."

"You can show me tricks. I'll promise not to try them… probably."

"Well, it's more than you out there, so don't do anything that could get someone hurt," he said seriously.

"You know what you sound like right now?" Naruto asked, smiling widely at him.

"No, what?"

"A teacher," he replied, thumping him in the chest. "What did you think I was gonna say?"

"If it's coming out of your mouth, hard to tell," he answered. "Stay by my side. If you need to stop, skate over to the side so we're out of the way."

"When are you gonna do the runs that you wanna do? I don't wanna hold you back."

"I'll go later, when I think you're capable of not killing yourself if I leave you on your own. Now, get your other foot strapped in, and let's go."

* * *

Sasuke spent another hour and a half with Naruto. They tried several different runs, the last having a decent level of difficulty for the blond's skill level. He was a quick learner, and though Sasuke would've been fine staying on these runs with him, Naruto eventually told him to politely "fuck off" so that he could practice on his own. Now that he'd been kicked to the curb, Sasuke, taking a seat on the lift, studied the map of the mountain printed on the safety bar. He found a trail he recognized as having been on the groomed list. Though the sun was out, there was a chill in the air. It was a good day to come as it wasn't particularly packed with people.

When he got off at his run, it felt nice to be able to go at his own pace as he zipped around on the dry powder. He wondered if Naruto was doing alright. It was funny how adamant he'd been about trying to learn on his own. Of the few times Naruto ended up on his ass while they were together, he looked kind of cute when he got embarrassed and Sasuke had to help him to his feet. It was fun, though, being able to teach someone like him. Actually, he always ended up having a lot of fun with Naruto. Or, should he say he was always entertained at the very least?

That thought of him having to move back permanently gave him an unpleasant pang. Of course Naruto wouldn't be here when he got back. They both had different lives to lead, different friends. Sasuke flipped his goggles up onto his helmet as he dragged his board toward the next lift area. Should he check on him? He'd made sure to lecture him about going only on runs appropriate for beginners. Naruto was an idiot, but he wouldn't do anything that might endanger someone else's life. In knowing that, it gave him _some_ peace of his mind while he waited his turn for the next chair lift to take him up to Bald Mountain.

* * *

At 3.30, Sasuke made his way to the main lodge, his body already aching as he headed for the changing room, snowboard under his arm. Naruto must not have come in yet since his stuff was still in his locker. Sasuke decided to change anyway and left his gear behind before making his way to one of the small cafes to grab a quick bite to eat.

He would've waited for Naruto, but he didn't know how much longer he'd be. He'd only said try to come in before 4. Sasuke sat next to the window, people watching as he ate his turkey wrap and tried to rehydrate. While he was sitting, he thought he saw Naruto coming in, but it was hard to tell since this person was walking and talking with someone else–a woman apparently. It's not as if that would be surprising since Naruto made friends everywhere he went. When Sasuke finished eating, he threw away his trash and went over to one of the large seating areas where there was a giant fireplace. He picked up one of the skiing magazines nearby, figuring that Naruto would realize he was in from the slopes and hanging around nearby.

Ten minutes later and someone tapped the front of his magazine. Naruto stood in front of him, hair a disaster and his cheeks flushed bright red from the wind.

"I'm still alive," he said to Sasuke. "Did you have fun bein' out there on your own, not havin' to drag my sorry ass around?"

"It was… refreshing," Sasuke answered. "Did you meet a friend?"

"Well…" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I did meet this chick who was pretty rad. She tried to show me a couple tricks after I said it was my first time."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. She was here with her girlfriend, who was also cool, but apparently had to stay out since she was teachin' a group of rich kids how to jump on rails."

"Ah, she has a girlfriend? Well, that's too bad," he remarked dryly, setting the magazine aside. "Do you want food? There's a cafe over there."

"Yeah, maybe I'll get somethin' in a sec."

"Did you have any trouble?" He asked. "You didn't hurt yourself or others?"

"Nah, I ate snow a couple of times when I tried one of the intermediate–"

"You went on an intermediate run?" He interrupted him.

"Well, I mean. I was with that girl, so–"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Er. So, I think I'll go get a sandwich." Naruto ran away before Sasuke could lecture him.

Tch. Idiot.

When he returned, they grabbed a high-top table near a window and chatted. Naruto talked excitedly about how once he got the hang of it, it started to feel a lot like surfing. So, they discussed surfing, and Naruto told him they should go to California and try it sometime. Sasuke wasn't opposed. In fact, he might've considered it an option for spring break, but didn't bother bringing it up in conversation. By the time they were ready to go, it was getting dark. The sun was setting behind the mountains, and they stood to watch it for a few minutes longer.

"I really do love these mountains," said Naruto. "You're so lucky you could come up here every weekend if you wanted."

"That would get expensive," he replied. "Then again, I can just put out and have Neji pay for everything."

Naruto shot him a disapproving look.

"I'm kidding, Naruto. I'm not a prostitute."

"Good to know." The blond started smiling again. "'Cause I can see Neji doin' that."

"He'd pay regardless of whether I put out. He's that well off."

"Even if he comes from a rich family, you shouldn't take advantage of him, Sasuke."

"Please. I'm so good in bed that I deserve it," he said. "Obviously."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "He graduates this year, doesn't he?"

"Yes." Sasuke's lips thinned.

"Does that make you sad?" Naruto asked innocently enough.

"I suppose." He gave the sunset one last look. "Ready to go back to the cabin?"

"Sure. Let's go get our stuff." Naruto set out ahead of him, but Sasuke noticed he was limping, so he grabbed him by the arm. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're walking funny. Did you hurt something?"

"I don't think so. I feel sore all over, but I figured that's 'cause I'm out of shape."

Sasuke studied him as if he could tell what was wrong just by his face. He'd see how he was later. If anything was broken, Naruto would've known right away. He was only slow in getting around, but maybe he was simply sore like he'd said. Sasuke felt it, too, but he was used to it.

Once they grabbed their jackets and other gear from the lockers, they headed for the parking lot and spent the short drive to the cabin arguing over whether or not they'd use the hot tub tonight.

* * *

When they got back to the cabin and disrobed of their snow gear, Naruto took first shower. Sasuke sat on the foot of the bed, flipping through the channels. He settled for something on HBO. So engrossed in what he was watching, he jumped when Naruto suddenly appeared next to him, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt while toweling off his hair.

"Is that what you're going to wear in the hot tub?" Sasuke asked.

"We're gettin' in later, but I'm gonna chill first. My body's wrecked. My hip is killin' me."

Sasuke frowned. "Really?"

"Yeah." Naruto threw the towel onto the other bed. "I think it's from when I tried the Cat Tracks."

"...You tried the Cat Tracks?" He got to his feet. "What were you thinking?"

"It wasn't that bad! I just… lost control once and maybe wiped out pretty bad?"

He grabbed his arm. "Show me."

"What do you mean 'show you'?" Naruto asked with a laugh.

"It's not funny." He narrowed his eyes. "I need to know how bad it is. It might need ice or there's probably some pain cream I can buy in the building where we checked in."

"I'm fine, Sasuke." Naruto's eyes were a little too bright and annoying.

"Just show me, and I'll decide if you're fine or not."

"Is this an excuse to get me to take my pants off?"

He snorted. "Hardly. It's your hip, not your penis. Don't be an idiot."

Naruto pouted. "But I have sexy hips." He tugged the the waistband down but winced as his own nails accidentally scraped what appeared to be the start of a bad bruise.

Impatient, Sasuke tugged it further down the blond's hip so that he could see what the damage was. "Hold it there, so I can see it properly."

Naruto, obediently, kept the waistband pulled down as Sasuke crouched beside him. Lightly, he traced the outline of the bruise's already-forming edges. It's not as if it was abnormal to be sore, but it still irritated him that Naruto allowed himself to be hurt. The bruise was going to be huge tomorrow.

Scowling, Sasuke got to his feet, still studying it as he skimmed his index finger over the top of Naruto's hip. He almost forgot Naruto wasn't mute until the blond took in a sharp breath after he passed his fingers over the top of the bruise again.

"What?" He asked, looking up at him with concern. "Is it that bad?"

Naruto cleared his throat. "Uh… no. It's just… can I pull my pants up now?"

He stood up. "Oh. ...Sure."

Naruto did so, but slowly. "Sorry. I didn't realize it was gonna be that bad, but it's not the worst I've ever had, so no big deal."

"I'll find you some ice. That's going to swell some, so it'll help if you put it on there."

"Are you really that worried about a little bruise?"

"It's not little," he argued. "You should take better care of yourself. Be more self-aware."

"Hmm." Naruto searched him, but for what, he didn't know. "Okay… I'll be more careful."

"Good." Sasuke retrieved his keys from off the dresser and put on his coat. "Do you want anything else? They have a snack bar. A drink or chips?"

"I mean… if you don't mind, a Coke would be good." Naruto was giving him a strange look. "But don't go to any trouble on my account."

He paused in the doorway. "I'll be right back. Don't break anything else while I'm gone."

"Heh. Okay. Thanks for takin' care of me, Sasuke."

Naruto waved him off and as Sasuke walked out the front door, he caught himself smiling.

* * *

Sasuke couldn't help smirking every time he glanced at Naruto. The blond was lying on his right side, pants pulled down a modest amount with a large bag of ice on his hip. He was sipping at his Coke while watching TV.

"I can feel you looking at me, you sadist," Naruto complained. "It's not _that_ funny."

"You're right. It's not. I didn't realize you were so interested in showing skin around me."

"Uh huh. Didn't you know? I fell on purpose just so I could have the opportunity to pull my pants down in front of you." Naruto lifted the bag off his hip, "You must be really hard up."

"I won't argue with that," he replied, unashamed of the fact even if Naruto was joking.

Naruto fussed with his ice bag, most of which had melted after 20 minutes. "Can I ask why that is? I mean. You know. Did you and Neji have a fight, are you taking a vow of chastity? What is it? I'm pretty confident you could score if you wanted to."

"I'm confident I could, too."

"Well? What's up? Tell me what happened to your mojo."

He hit mute on the TV. "Is this really a discussion we're going to have with you in such a state of undress?"

"Oh my God, I'll pull them up if they're that distracting. The blanket would hide all the important bits anyway. I'm worried about you. Are you sure you're jerkin' off enough? Despite what people say, you won't actually go blind."

Sasuke snickered. "I thought it would be more polite to save it until I was alone in the shower."

Naruto had his own chuckle. "Why don't you go do that, and I'll turn the volume up extra loud?"

"I'll wait until after we try out the hot tub. You've been nagging me about it all damn day."

"Wait." The blond perked up. "Will you really go start it?"

"If you want." He moved to the edge of the bed, eyeing the exposed sliver of tan skin he could see.

Naruto noticed. "Pervert."

"Do you want me to turn on the hot tub or not?"

It wasn't much of a threat since he was already getting to his feet.

"Yes." Naruto, with his hand under his head, glanced up at him casually.

"Do you think I'll always do whatever you say?" He asked.

"Not at all." Naruto grinned. "But I do think you're the type of guy who, if a friend was hurt, you'd be there to help. I'm happy to take advantage of that since it's not too serious an injury."

"That's not very Christian of you," he mumbled, sliding his hands into his pockets. "It's not often someone has me so wrapped around their finger."

Another one of those strange looks crossed Naruto's face, and then he became flustered.

"I'm kidding," Sasuke told him.

"Oh. I knew that. Would you mind taking this so I can get up?" Naruto handed him the bag of (water), so Sasuke took it into the bathroom and poured it into the sink.

When he returned to the bedroom, Naruto was on his feet. Sasuke had stopped to lean against the doorframe.

"How does it feel?" He asked.

"Better because of the ice," Naruto answered. "The Coke helped, too. Thank you."

Sasuke tried not to blush since he seemed so sincerely grateful. "I'll head out to the deck and see if I can get it working."

"Do you want my help?"

Taking a step into the room, Sasuke shook his head. "I only have to uncover it and turn it on. It'll take a while to heat up, so sit there and relax."

"Is this because I'm crippled?" Naruto smirked.

"It's because you're careless and went down a trail I told you not to."

"Tch. Where's the fun in following the rules? I'm a decent athlete, you know. For not really playing any sports. Is volleyball a sport?"

"Barely," Sasuke replied as he slipped on his tennis shoes

"Jerk." Naruto came over and tried to tip him sideways while he tied his laces.

"Cut it out." He stood up, which brought them face to face. Unfortunately, he was having one of those moments where he thought Naruto to be extraordinarily attractive. "...Naruto."

"Yeah?"

He ached to move that one piece of hair behind his ear. "You need a haircut."

"I do?" Naruto frowned. "Where'd that come from?"

"You're looking more like your dad."

"My dad's not a horrible looking guy."

"No," said Sasuke. "He's not."

"You're not going to tell me you have a thing for my dad, are you?"

"If I did," he replied. "That might make my mom jealous."

Naruto snorted much to his amusement.

"Besides," Sasuke continued and, forgetting he wasn't going to, took hold of those strands of hair and tucked them behind Naruto's ear, "I'm not a huge fan of your father's right now."

Naruto's lips parted slightly. "...No?"

Sasuke let his arm drop at his side. "No."

"U-um." Naruto started looking everywhere but at him. "What should I wear?"

"What?"

"Into the hot tub I mean... since I don't have swim trunks."

"Boxers?" He suggested. "You're welcome to get in naked if you prefer. I won't complain."

"Heh." Naruto, his cheeks rather red, rubbed at the back of his head. "Maybe if it was a dare."

"Right. I forget how modest you are."

"Why, would _you_ get in without any clothes?"

"If it's clean enough, sure. Who knows what will be under there once I remove the cover."

Naruto chuckled nervously. "They... probably check that."

"Naruto," he said, when the blond kept squirming under his gaze. "It was only a joke. I have an extra pair of boxers if you need some or... if you brought a thong instead."

"Thong?" Naruto snorted again and, this time, shoved him in the chest, sending Sasuke back a step. "Are you listenin' to yourself? You need to jerk off soon. You've got sex on the brain."

"Soon, yes," he agreed. "But not with you around."

"Prude," Naruto mumbled, staring at him with those stupidly gorgeous blue eyes.

"Stop looking at me like that... I need to go start your hot tub."

"How am I looking at you?"

"You probably don't want to know," he replied.

"Hmm."

"Wear your underwear. You can borrow a pair of mine when we get out."

"...Alright."

He went over to the door that led out onto the shared deck. There was still no sign of guests in the adjoining cabin, so that was lucky. He flipped on the porch light and decided the hot tub might not be such a bad idea if it was something that would make Naruto happy.

* * *

Sasuke was looking up at the star-filled sky when the back door opened.

"Is it ready yet?" Naruto asked, peeking his head out.

"Didn't you just ask me that a few minutes ago? I'll come and get you when it's ready."

"Yeah, but I haven't been in one in forever. Plus, it's boring in there waiting on my own."

"You are a needy thing, aren't you?" He walked over to him, expression smug. "You should've invited your one friend to stop by tonight."

"Oh… I didn't think of that." Naruto frowned. "Why didn't I think of that?"

He shrugged. "Didn't want to share me with her?"

Naruto squinted at him. "Are you drunk?"

"If only."

"I have my ID, so if that lodge sells alcohol, I could–"

"No. No alcohol for you," he said. "No phones either. Nothing that stresses you out. Go change, put on a robe, and you'll be the first I tell when it's ready."

"Hmph."

"Only a few more minutes, I promise." Sasuke put a hand to his chest and pushed him back inside. "You don't have a coat, so stay in."

Naruto was smiling. "You're kinda bossy and… weird tonight."

"How shall I respond to that?"

"Dunno." Naruto glanced toward the woods. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're giddy 'cause I hurt myself tryin' to be cool."

"You think I like it when you're hurt?" Sasuke lost some of that good humor he'd been feeling.

"No." Looking at him again, Naruto's eyes moved back and forth searchingly. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Maybe you're the one being strange?"

"Maybe." Naruto rubbed his lips together, an appealing gesture to him. "I'll go back inside like you said."

"Good boy." He smiled to show there were no hard feelings.

Naruto put a hand to his chest and pushed _him_ away this time. "Stop bein' horny around me. It's unsettling... and makes you oddly charming."

He smirked. "It must be all this fresh mountain air. Being able to snowboard felt good today."

"Good." Naruto smiled at him. "Then I'm glad you were able to do your own thing without me to hold you back."

"You're the one who told me to fuck off."

"I–" Naruto lowered his voice. "I did not tell you to fuck off. I'd _never_ tell you to fuck off, except maybe that one time I was mad and told you to fuck off."

"If I were you, I'd tell me to fuck off sometimes, too. I'm not offended. We can go up again in the morning if you want. You can show me the skills you learned while you were leeching onto that woman and her girlfriend."

"Really?" Naruto seemed excited at the prospect. "Alright."

Sasuke studied him under the porch light, a strange sensation overcoming him because Naruto looked so happy. "I'll check the water. Go change and come back out in…" He glanced over his shoulder to check. "Two minutes. I'll turn the jets on."

"You're not comin' in?"

"I thought you'd like your privacy."

Naruto appeared as though he would argue, but apparently changed his mind. "I'll be right back."

When he was alone again, Sasuke turned on the jets. It had been a good idea to suggest getting away today. He'd thought it would be nice for Naruto, so that he could (they _both_ could, rather) get their minds off of the things they'd talked about last night. For Sasuke, he'd soon be back on campus for the semester, which meant he could veritably do whatever he wanted. Naruto, on the other hand, would be stuck in town, working at the church, and having to spend time with his dad. Then again, Naruto made friends easily, so if he wasn't spending all his time with Sasuke, he could meet new people.

Five minutes later and Naruto came out again, dressed in one of the robes from the bathroom and a pair of boxers. He didn't have the robe tied all the way.

"You look like you're coming from the Playboy mansion," Sasuke commented.

"You're funny. But, yeah, I don't think I'd spend my time somewhere so tacky."

"Is it safe to assume such women wouldn't be your type then?"

"Not really." Naruto came and stood by his side. "Though I don't consider myself picky."

"You are, though," Sasuke replied, trying not to let his eyes wander down to Naruto's muscled chest and flat stomach. "You're surprisingly picky."

"How would you know that?"

"Just a guess. Are you going to get in?"

"Don't you want me to wait for you?" Naruto asked.

"No. I did it for you, so get in," he replied. "I'll go change."

He knocked into Naruto's shoulder on his way inside the cabin. Quickly, he removed his jeans and shirt, not wanting to leave Naruto alone for long. Sasuke took a second or two to glance at himself in the mirror. He ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it out some flyaways and having thoughts about Naruto he should try to get under control. It's not as if he could help it. They'd had a good day. Sasuke liked spending time with him. He liked teasing him, too.

After he grabbed a robe and a couple of towels, he went back outside. Sasuke took off his robe, threw it on one of the chairs, and got into the hot tub. Naruto looked relaxed already. They sat across from one another, sharing a view of the woods, moon, and a sky full of stars.

"This is the life." Naruto sighed in contentment. "I wonder if I could put a hot tub in my backyard. I guess I could if I buy the house."

"You can ask your landlord when we get back."

"Yeah, but it's not fun when it's just you. Wouldn't that be kinda sad?"

"Once I'm gone, there'll be more opportunity to make friends," he said.

Naruto didn't reply. He gazed up at the sky, instead.

"You do realize I have to come back to school," Sasuke told him.

"I'm aware," Naruto answered. "You keep remindin' me, after all."

"You're welcome to visit anytime."

"Nah. You have stuff goin' on here."

Sasuke set his arms along the sides of the hot tub and stretched out his legs. "You don't _want_ to see me again?"

Naruto gazed at him pointedly. "That's a dumb question."

"Why?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Naruto huffed and returned to staring at the night sky.

After that, a tension settled between them. Sasuke had been kidding, but Naruto's tone was throwing him off. Was it wrong to wonder how Naruto felt about him or whether he'd miss him once he was back at school? Normally, he thought it easy to tell how Naruto felt about people. At least it had been with his friends and with Neji and Sakura. However, Sasuke couldn't say for sure how Naruto felt about _him_. That aspect of their friendship hadn't changed.

"That's not fair," he said after a few minutes of silence. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I _want_ to hear you'll miss me?"

Naruto glanced at him. "Of _course_ I'll miss you. That's why I _don't_ want to talk about it."

Sasuke frowned, but then Naruto moved to his side of the hot tub, close enough that their skin seemed to be touching in far too many places.

"Why do you look so upset?" Naruto asked. "Sasuke?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe it's frustrating sometimes. Not knowing what you're thinking or how you feel about me. Not even simple, uncomplicated things like 'do you like me'."

"Huh? What do you mean you don't know if I like you? I've said it several times. I even said it this morning."

"Let's talk about something else," he said, wishing Naruto wasn't sitting right on top of him.

"Why?" Naruto sounded surprised, which annoyed him further. "Don't close off on me."

"That's funny coming from you," he replied.

"Sasuke." Naruto's voice was almost a whisper.

Sasuke had to shut his eyes. Dammit.

"Don't be mad," Naruto pleaded. "I don't know what I said to totally change your mood right now. I just didn't wanna talk about somethin' that sucks and can't be changed."

"Of course you don't," he said bitterly. "You never do."

The water splashed when Naruto pulled his knees to his chest and sighed. "I'm sorry. Tell me what I did."

"You didn't do anything. Don't worry about it."

"I don't know what to say," Naruto mumbled. "I don't even wanna think about it yet. That's sort of what getting away was about? I'm grateful to you for bringing me here. You're different than anyone I've ever met. We've spent nearly every day together for the past two weeks, and I'm not tired of you at all. I can't speak for you about any of that, or whether you feel the same, so… what can I do?"

Sasuke shifted, trying to put some space between them. "I don't want you to do anything. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"...Okay." Naruto nodded. "I guess I don't know what's okay to do with you. Do I hug you more? Should I _be_ more affectionate? Should I really be telling you all the things I think about you in my head? You're harder to read than other people, and maybe I..."

Sasuke regarded him coolly while Naruto searched for the words he wanted.

"I don't know," Naruto ended up saying, shaking his head. "Honestly. I don't know how to categorize you."

"Categorize?" He asked, glancing at him seriously. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Nevermind." Naruto let out a frustrated sigh. "See, this is why I didn't want to talk about it because I don't see the point."

"Just like you didn't see a point in answering whether you thought I was attractive or not. Oh, sorry, whether you're attracted to me." He knew he sounded bitter, but it felt like he was being rejected all over again.

"...Is that what this is about?"

"It's only one example of how it's hard to get a straight answer out of you. I get it now, though. It's not because you're as oblivious as you pretend to be. It's because you don't want to think about it, but that hurts in its own way, Naruto. Will you forget about me when my break ends and I go back to school? Is this it for us? Even as friends? You're so afraid of what might happen, that you won't even bother humoring me by talking about it."

"That's selfish, too, don't you think?" Naruto asked. "It sounds like you want to be confessed to just to sate your ego when we both know nothing could come of it."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at him in surprise. "What…? What did you just say?"

"It was only an _example_ ," Naruto replied, using his words from earlier. "I know you know what I mean."

"No. I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. The thought of what…?" He turned toward him, bringing their sides into contact again.

Sasuke wasn't sure, but he was now desperately trying to gauge what the fuck Naruto was on about and whether he wasn't right on the money.

"Like, oh, I don't know. You and me dating. I said it was only an example and meant it. I care about you, I like bein' with you, but things are gonna be different soon, and your life is going to be an improvement, and mine will go back to the same thing, which is fine."

"This is… all I wanted to hear you say," Sasuke murmured, head fuzzy either from the heat or Naruto's mention of the two of them together.

Naruto's brows lifted. "Which part? The part that I care about you and that I'll miss you, or–"

"Naruto," he cut him off since he was coming frighteningly close to having a heart attack. "I know I suck at expressing myself. Feelings… the thought of talking about them makes me cringe, but with you–"

He searched Naruto for answers, considering admitting the things he'd been holding inside… only to remember that this trip hadn't been about pushing himself on Naruto. They were friends and nothing more. He shut his eyes. This was stupid of him. He was supposed to be the one making Naruto feel better, safer. He didn't want to pressure him like Sai. They could always discuss this when it was closer to the time he'd have to leave.

The water splashed around them, and thinking Naruto was about to get out because he was mad, Sasuke opened his eyes only to find him almost in his lap. He touched Sasuke's cheek, his expression curious and affectionate.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked so quietly it was surprising Naruto heard.

"Trying to figure out what you want me to do."

Naruto started to lean in, but Sasuke, panicking, placed a hand to his chest.

"No," he said.

"No?" Naruto immediately backed off, his cheeks turning red. "Sorry, I guess I thought–" He covered his mouth, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke."

Sasuke could barely hear him over the sound of his racing heart.

"No, it's..." He started to explain only to fail miserably. "It's just… you've had a long day, so…"

What the hell had he just done? Why did he push Naruto away? What the _fuck_ was _wrong_ with him?

Rightfully, Naruto looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Is this because of what I told you about me?" Naruto asked.

"No, it's..." He couldn't find the right words. "Maybe we should... forget this ever happened."

" _What_?" Naruto asked angrily. "You're the one who made a big deal about wanting to know how I feel about you. _You've_ made me think you were interested this whole time, and now–" He stopped himself and took in a deep breath. "Whatever. I'm getting out."

He didn't try to stop him. Instead, Sasuke glared at the water, teeth clenching when he heard the door slam. He was desperately trying to understand what the hell had just happened. He didn't think there was any merit in what Naruto had said about this being tied to their earlier conversation. All he knew was that he'd freaked out at the mere hint of Naruto having feelings for him. Even if he'd practically forced Naruto into admitting something, _anything_.

Sasuke fisted his hands at his sides. "God dammit."

Maybe he _was_ selfish. That was hardly a question, really. But, what should he do now?

Because he honestly didn't think he could've fucked that up more if he'd tried.

* * *

 **TBC**... eventually


End file.
